Twisted Hearts

Chapter 9: When hearts break.

The wind softly ruffled his hair, a shiver raced up his spine as he swallowed thickly. The world could close in on him and he wouldn't even notice. His heart hurt, his head was pounding. 

It felt like from underneath him the world had given way, he was always the problem somehow. From the confides of his mind, he could hear Alice's voice, filled with so much pain and hurt. 

Slowly his feet led him further to his car, from its side his father appeared, a bright smile wrinkling the sides of his eyes. His smile faltered as he saw the look on his son's face, it disappeared leaving room for worry. 

Worry,

The word felt odd at the tip of his tounge, but as he saw the look on his father's face Gabriel could see that when it came to him all his father ever was, was worried.  His father loved him...Gabriel could even go so far as to say he adored him. 

But that adoration came with a lot of problems, to Gabriel, it was becaming apparent that loving him was his father's greatest burden, just as for him loving Sebastian was a pain in his ass. 

"Gabriel, son I didn't know you were coming over," Andrew muttered, softly patting his son's back.  The indifference he saw in Gabriel's eyes made him faulted in his greeting, his eyes shifting from his son's withdrawn eyes to his house. He swallowed thickly. 

"What happened, did you and Gwen fight again? Come on let's go back inside," Gabriel shrugged away from his father, swallowing down the deep regret as he saw the hurt flash in Andrews eyes. But his mind was already made up, he knew there was nothing more to say or do.  

"No Dad, nothing happened, I just have to go," He tried to slip away from his father's grasp, Andrew held onto his upper arm, his grip firm but slipping. In that moment Gabriel could tell his father knew his intentions. 

"Son, this is your home, if something is wrong talk to me," His father's voice broke at the end, his eyes resembling the same intentions as his voice, he was pleading with him to stay. But there was no amount of pleading that could change Gabriel's mind, it was over for him. Staying no lomger made sense.

Maybe this was how Sebestian felt. The thought went in and out of his mind in that second, and it left a burning pain in his chest. 

He exhaled shakily, tears threatening to fall but he kept them at bay, for years he'd learned how to bottle his emotions. "There is nothing to talk about dad, this place" He turned to the house his father lived in. Slowly shaking his head as a tear betrayed him, slipping from his eyes.  

"It isn't my home, it hasn't been for years now and I'm finally tired of all this s**t. I can't keep pretending we're a happy family anymore." He wiped at his face, "Because we aren't, this isn't my home, it's yours Dad. So you stay here with your happy family and I'll do what I should have done from the very beginning."

His father looked at him, tears forming in his eyes, "And what's that?" Andrew asked. 

A slow burn raked through Gabriel, his eyes hardening as the full realisation of his decision came to play, He turned to his father, tugging his arm away from him as he took a step back. The wind felt colder somehow, the night darker and the pain in his chest dulled till...finall, he felt nothing. He was numb, the feeling spread from his chest to his entire body until he could hardly feel anything anymore. 

"Leave," 

The word left his mouth, but it didn't sound like it came from him, slowly, without waiting for anything else to be said he turned and walked to his car. The numbness had yet to leave him. 

Coward, 

The word rang at the back of his mind as he realised he was running away. But it needed to be said, sooner or later he knew his father would get tired of loving him. It was better he left before his father abandoned him like his mother did...like Sebastian did. 

The man resurfaced in his mind as he slid into his car, his hands wrapped around the steering wheel and his grip tightened. A new idea formed in his mind, he needed a distraction, something to take away the numbness. 

He started his car and pressed the gas slightly, he needed to drawn his pain in something.

............

Sebastian. 

The hollow glow of his TV lit up the room as his eyes shifted from it. He barely paid any attention to what was playing, only occasionally focusing enough to see parts of the movie. His mind was somewhere else, or on somebody else to be precise. 

It was difficult, he never would have imagined that it would be so hard having him there, and yet having him so far away. The ache was hard to ignore, and somehow it was what hurt the most. 

He exhaled harshly, glancing at his phone. Throwing away the pillow he had in his arms, he grabbed the remote; turning off the TV. Silence fell across the room, it was defening. He stretched out his arms, the top of his shirt lifting to reveal his stomach. Lazily scratching at it, he made his way to the hall. 

Ding. 

His footsteps came to a halt as the front doors of his penthouse opened up, instinct took over as he slid behind the wall, his muscles locking up, adrenaline bursting through his system. 

He heard the sound of shuffling feet, a deep intake of breath and then the soft, broken voice of the man he loved. 

"Sebastian?" 

His whole body shut in that moment, all thoughts of attacking the intruder gone as he withdrew from the wall. He walked into his living room, his eyes finding Gabriel. The other man leaned against the wall, his eyes droopy and hair stuck out all over. He parted his eyes, looking at Sebastian for a moment before they shut again. 

"Gabriel," Sebastian whispered. He inhaled sharply as Gabriel abruptly moved from the wall closing the distance between them with a few unsteady strides, his hands wrapping around Sebastian tightly; head resting on his chest. His eyes shut at once, hands wrapping around him as a shiver raced through his body. It felt all too familiar...it felt right. 

He placed his nose to Gabriel's hair, inhaling the scent of his shampoo, his lips brushing against the other man's forehead causing a shiver that made him smile slightly. It was nearly too much to believe, Gabriel was here, in his arms and with him. 

Sebastian held onto him, enjoying the way Gabriel fit in his arms. Just as he always had, his body felt like it was made to fit perfectly with his. The hug lasted for a few more minutes before Gabriel pulled away. His eyes shifting to the floor. 

Sebastian used his index finger, tilting Gabriel's face towards him and as he did he heard the softest sob pierce the quite air and the bubble he was in burst. His eyes scanned Gabriel's bloodshot eyes, tired and lifeless. He inhaled and caught the smell of alcohol on Gabriel. It was a strange mixture, and as he stared more closely at Gabriel he wondered how he hadn't noticed he was drunk before.  

"Baby what's wrong?" The words slipped through his lips before he had to think of them. Slowly his finger curled around Gabriel's face, brushing his lips. He leaned down, their foreheads connecting, his eyes shutting. It felt like home. 

"Tell me," he whispered.

"I'm all alone Sebastian, I have nobody. Everyone I love eventually leaves." 

Gabriel whispered back, his voice hoarse and broken, Sebastian swallowed at the raw emotion in Gabriel's voice. Since he had come back this was the first time he was seeing the real Gabriel, this was the first time he was seeing how broken his angel was. 

"That's not true," Sebastian denied, pulling away to look at Gabriel. He'd never looked so vulnerable, wounded. Like a precious porceline doll that was broken and cracked, yet the cracks made the beauty more real. He exhaled sharply, he truly loved this man. 

"You left," 

He swallowed hard, pressing his lips to Gabriel's forehead. 

"No I didn't, I don't think it counts as leaving when you stayed here with my heart Gabriel. I could never leave you."