The Girlfriend Experience

Prologue

Coming here to the college party was not really a necessity for me. After all, I had a much better priority than getting drunk and dancing over loud music. However, college life was not college life if you had never attended at least one party in your life. And its not that I was trying to fulfill one of my bucket list, I was just trying to take something off of me.

Aside from being a tired and abused student. Jumping off from jobs to to jobs, trying to make it out every day under the budget of less than 10 dollars a week, student stipend, and running from loan sharks who were endlessly trying to get me to sell my kidney to pay off those shitty debts, I was also an inexperienced girl. My busy life was consisted of studies and works, not even once I had gotten myself in a relationship or at least kiss someone. The only thing I knew was money, that was the only thing I would run miles in order to chase. However it seemed like this inexperienced nature that I have, had become an obstacle or worse a bad luck.

Tonight, I was sure to lose that bad luck. I needed to lose my virginity.

The music thumped through the walls, a deep pulsing beat that rattled the floorboard and vibrated in my chest. At every beat, I almost couldn't feel my heart in sync with the loud boom of the speakers. I wasn't so sure how I ended up here—in some dimly lit room upstairs, away from the chaos of the college frat party. Yet, even my small effort of trying to stop the damage to my eardrums, I could still hear the godforsaken music downstairs.

I looked around the room, squinting my eyes excessively, trying to make out the interior. The air smelled like a mix of sweat, cheap alcohol and stale cologne, and my head spun as I dropped to the warm mattress where I sat. I should've stopped at two drinks. Three was already trying to lure me, and after that I had no idea how many shots I had taken. The red plastic cup in my hand was empty now, the last bitter sip still lingering on my tongue. My legs felt like jelly, and my dark brown hair clung to my neck like damp strands. I struggled to catch my breath, the world almost tilting as the muffled bassline below matched my heartbeat.

I wasn't really that drunk, in fact, I was definitely more sober than anyone downstairs who had chugged every liquor available as if tomorrow was not Monday. Tipsy, probably that was the right term to describe me and my state. I had drunk enough to make my mind and body suffer, it was enough for me to start seeing things inside the room.

"You okay?" a deep voice asked across the room.

I blinked, trying to focus, but the room was so dark I couldn't see a thing. My head tilted to catch a proper glimpse of the silhouette that was standing in front of the closed door. Whoever he was, his voice cut through the haze—low, smooth, and just a little uncertain.

"Yeah...fine." I mumbled, though my slurred words betrayed me.

I heard him step closer, his movements careful, almost hesitant. I couldn't make out his face, but the faint outline of his figure loomed nearby, tall and solid.

"You don't sound fine." he said, his tone soft but insistent. "Is it alright if I sit next to you?" he asked, and I felt him looking at my whole body, lying without no care on the bed.

"Mmhmm." I replied, and I wasn't entirely sure if I was agreeing or just making a noise.

Before I could say anything else, I felt the bed move. The soft mattress bouncing softly, the sound of the sheets shuffling, he let out a sigh of relief as we both stayed there for a while. The side of his legs almost touched mine, the broad back I couldn't properly see was facing me. The small light casted from the window allowed me to see the dark color of his hair. The light reflected as it shined, it was the type of hair that everyone knew it had been taken care of ever since. It looked expensive, it looked beautiful.

"Why did you come?" he suddenly asked in his deep voice, as if he knew me. Did he knew me? He did not turn around to face, I continued to observed him.

"Just..." I mumbled, closing my eyes tightly as a wave of pain came in my head.

"You're really drunk." he said, chuckling as he turned to take a good look at me.

It was dark, but for a moment his green eyes glimmered upon the touch of the light. Allowing me to see the a small fraction of his features. The green eyes, the black hair, and he looked quite familiar I just couldn't remember it. No matter how hard I tried to crossed my mind and wander, nothing came but the beautiful green eyes of his.

I knew I had seen those before, but where and when?

"No, Im...okay." I protested weakly, bringing my arm to rest it at the top of my head. A small inclination of trying to stop the headache, as if it worked.

For a moment I saw his lips turned, curved into a soft and delicate smile while he looked at me. Maybe I was really seeing things in the complete darkness, but that smile made my heart flutter for a second. Handsome men, smiling in front of me were always a rare sight. And to think that I was with him all alone in one room, surrounded with nothing but darkness it made me wonder.

Out of all the places he could've sat down, why did he had to sit next to me?

"Are you sure?" he pressed, leaning in closer.

My heart almost missed the beat of the music it was sync in from outside. The bed's cushion sank under us, my eyes widened in trance as I felt the warmth of his presence next to me. His voice was gentle, almost cautious but there was something about it that made my pulse quicken.

"Y..yeah." I whispered, sinking further more into the mattress as I tried to create more space between us. "Why...why are you asking?" I reluctantly asked, already forgetting about the headache I had.

A low chuckle came from him, it almost sounded like a whisper as he did. Yet the softness of it did not make the situation better for me. I watched him, and all I could ever think was how beautiful he might have been. If only the lights were on, I could get a proper look of his face and built. Maybe it was better that the lights were off anyways, because I only came in this party for one reason.

Right, I came here to lose my virginity once and for all.

Calling it bad luck was a bit excessive in my behalf. Maybe it wasn't really what I was trying to say or what I believed in. Perhaps, I wanted to lose myself and experienced new things beyond my comfort zone. I was stuck up, probably closed to being a prude-but it was not as if I planned that or I forced myself. It was just I had been busy every since I turned thirteen. And it might be a question of what a thirteen year old child could be busy of, but I lost control of my life ever since that day-when I learned the value of money.

Because of that, I lost my chance in experiencing things.

And here I was, twenty-three at age. In a dark room of a frat house, pretending to be hammered enough by the alcohol and hoping this guy in front of me could be the one to release me of the tight grip that shackled me.

"You know me?" I asked carefully, if I was going to lose it tonight, I wanted it to be with someone I didn't know at least. "Its better for me and actually for the both of us if we don't know each other."

"Hmm." He hummed amusedly, leaning in closer to me. "Why is that?"

I had no any idea if it was a great time to do something but I was only certain I wanted to lose it that night with a stranger. And not only that he was a stranger, I could tell he was good enough to be my type.

"f**k it." I muttered sternly when I realized that even in this moment, my mind was still trying to get me to stop what I wanted.

"I know-" he said something under that chuckle as he keep leaning in closer, but I was pissed already and the alcohol in my system was not doing any good.

Instead of hearing what he had to say, I grabbed him by the neck. My fingers intertwining with his soft lock and touching the warmth of his skin. The gasped in his voice surely was surprised and uncertain, and I could only hope he wouldn't sue me for s****l assault. My lips touched his eagerly, the softness made me wonder if it was his mouth or his cheeks. But when his tight and sealed mouth gradually loosen as I grabbed him closer and forced him to hover me, I knew I landed the right one.

His mouth moved gently, every glide of his soft lips over mine made my eyes flutter. I didn't know kissing someone would be this good. It made my heart race, my mind that was already spinning from what I drank finally lost its reason and completely drowned in the moment. His hands touched the back of my head, carelessly grabbing my hair to stopped what was happening. I groaned at the sudden pull, but my heart was set to end this night in my accord.

"Carter, stop it." His huskily protested against my ear, his breathe sending shiver down my spine.

He knew my name, he knew me—I should stop, but why was that kiss was the only thing I could think of?

"You're drunk, I don't want to do this when you won't even remember it." He suddenly confessed, sounding so defeated and torn.

I felt him rest his head against my shoulder, his face buried in the side of my neck. Our breathings syncing, our chest colliding with each other with every minute that passed. He was firmed with what he said, I could tell from the way he slowly got up and tried to make a space between us.

From the way he tentatively let go of my hand when I grabbed him, from the way his feet jumped when I tried to chased him, and from the way he picked me up and lay me over the bed just to leave me there as if I was unwanted, I didn't know if it was chivalry over a stupor women or was he not finding me attractive at all.

That set me off the edge.

"I don't care." I whispered under my breathe, I swayed as I stand. The grogginess coming and so was the fatigue my body had gotten from the morning part time job I had taken in. Yet, I was sober more than ever.

"Carter, you will regret this." He replied softly, but I said what I said. I didn't care and I meant it.

I couldn't even careless that he knew my name, anymore.

With hunger in my lips, I felt his once more. As the chivalrous man struggled under my gripped, stumbling ourselves again into the mattress. Tonight, I was certain to give it to this man. Now or never, I took a step of reclaiming the control of my life.