ONE DAY AT A TIME.
1320 Words
Chapter 05.
ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Kara's POV.
I sniffled, and wiped off the tears on my face with the back of my hands as I walked out of the operating room. If due procedures were to have been followed as regards the hospital's standards, then my mom's corpse would have been taken out of the operating room, and transferred to a morgue.
However, the doctor had made an exception for me. Perhaps, my dad talked to him about giving me some minutes to say my last respects to my mom. I had no idea. But I could barely utter a word while I was in there all alone.
Each time I tried to do so, a tear rolled down the side of my cheeks. It went on like that until one of the hospital's staff — a young woman, walked in and said that it was time to move her body.
Meanwhile, as if my dad knew that I was standing right behind him, he turned around, and then smiled briefly. I mean, how could he even smile in such a situation. He'd just lost his wife — my mother. Was there any reason for him to smile?
Although, I get that he wanted to ease the pain that I must have felt as a result of my mother's death, but I didn't think that a smile was the best way he could have done that.
What happened to sharing a drink? Or perhaps, sitting with me on a swing, and watching the night sky. Just the both of us finding solace in silence. But in all, I knew he that was just trying to be strong for me because that was the only option he had.
While I stood a few steps away from the operating room, he walked up to me.
“Hey, uh,” he sighed, and looked past me. “Were you able to say anything to her? Did you remind her of how much she means to you? And how much you loved her?”
I turned back. And just as I did, I saw the young woman from earlier who asked me to leave the operating room because it was time to move my mom's corpse out from the operating room. I watched as she wheeled out my mom's corpse which was covered with a white fabric.
For a few seconds more, I watched her. And I guess my dad did the same too because the silence from him made my skin crawl. When she finally went out of sight, I dropped my head, and then turned to him.
“I guess I did.” I said, nodding my head as tears began to form in my eyes.
I would have loved to if I had the chance. But I didn't get a chance to remind her of how much she meant to me, and how much I loved her because I couldn't stop myself from crying. But thinking about it, was there any point reminding her of that?
I mean, she's dead, and gone. She wouldn't be able to hear me even if I say that to her ears a million and one times. She wouldn't even have an idea that I sat close to her, and held her hands, and cried for over ten minutes because she's dead, and isn't coming back anymore.
“Come, we should return home.” he said, turning to leave.
But I refused to take an inch from where I stood. The following week was her birthday, and she'd promised to do a lot. She was even saving up for it so we could have a nice time together as a family.
Thinking that she wouldn't be able to mark her birthday, and celebrate with us anymore made my heart sink.
“Hey, aren't you coming?” his voice broke in on my thoughts.
He looked to the side, in the direction where the woman who had taken out my mother's corpse from the operating room went, then he turned to me.
“Look, uh, I know how you feel.” he said, in a soft voice. “But we can't stay here anymore; we have to go home. This is a hospital, not our home, and they've a time when they close for the day. It's almost that time.”
“You said she would make it out alive.” I said with a broken voice as I lifted my pain darkened eyes to him. “You said you knew her, and that she's strong.”
“You are right. I did.” he said, nodding his head. “I said those words. But I didn't just say those words to give you some hope. I said those words because I believed that she could make it out alive.”
“Then why didn't she?” I asked, shrugging a shoulder as tears burned in my eyes. “You clearly said that you knew her better than the doctor. I trusted your words, hoping that she would come out alive.”
“Look, I know how you feel right now.” he said, taking my hand in his while looking into my eyes. “But you should know that these things happen. We don't have control over situations like this.”
His voice shook with tears. So, he paused, and dropped his head as if asking for a moment to pull himself together before saying any other thing to me. After a few seconds, he lifted his face to me. His eyes were heavy with tears.
“You aren't the only one who's hurt, Kara.” he said, shaking his head. “I am too. But crying won't bring her back. If it would, I would cry out every tear in my eyes just to bring her back, and I'm sure you would do the same too.”
While holding my hand with one of his, he touched my face with his other hand, and wiped off the tears on my face with his thumb.
“This is just the reality of things now.” he let out a heavy sigh. “It is just the both of us now.”
Perhaps, I didn't realize it sooner, or maybe I did, but didn't pay much attention to the fact that going forward, it would just be the both of us. But as he said those words, a cold chill ran down the length of my spine.
Thinking that my mother wouldn't be here anymore to pat me to bed whenever I felt down, or scream at the top of her voice to wake me up whenever I'd slept past 7am made my throat tightened with tears.
“How are we going to survive without her?” I asked, blinking back tears. “What would life look like without her?”
“I am sure we'll find a way to survive.” he said with a brief smile. “I don't know how the world would look like without her, but we'll just have to make it beautiful in our own little way. I'm sure that's what your mother would want.”
“I don't think I can.” I sobbed, burying my face in my palms. “I can't imagine life without her.”
“Of course, you can.” he said, pulling me in for a hug. “We will just have to take it one step at a time. One day at a time too.”
He stroked my hair gently, and exhaled sharply.
“The first few hours are always the worse.” he mentioned, still stroking my hair. “But after that, you'll be as good as new.”
“Dad?” I called, lifting my face to him.
“Yes, sweetheart.” he replied, looking at my face.
“Are you going to get yourself a new wife?”
- Writer
