The Alpha Who lost

1346 Words
Alpha pov I watched her leave the office door closed behind her with a sound that rang through my chest like a hammer striking bone. Ziom, my wolf, howled inside me louder than I had ever heard. She is our mate! it screamed. You are letting her go! I clenched my fists on the edge of my desk, nails digging into the wood, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t stop her. Because she was right I had to let her go. And yet, watching her walk out, knowing I would never reach her in time to catch her, to hold her, to make her see It felt like dying a thousand slow deaths.My wolf roared again, teeth bared, claws scratching at my insides, demanding I chase, fight, claw my way to her. But the curse held me fast. I had lived under it all my life, and I had tried, always tried, to ignore it to rise above it. But it was in my blood, my soul and my very bones a punishment for sins I had never committed myself. My father’s sins. His reckless choices, his arrogance, his cruelty they had been his alone. And yet, here I was, paying for them. Bound by the Moon Goddess to lose the mate I was destined to love. To reject her, to let her go and suffer for it. Zara Lane, my omega, my mate, the one woman I had never been able to stop thinking about was walking away, and I could not do anything. My chest burned and my lungs felt tight. Every fiber of me screamed at me to run, to grab her, to plead with her to stay. But I couldn’t. I swallowed hard, trying to steady myself, but the taste of ash filled my mouth. The pain of letting her go was unbearable, like my own heart had been ripped from my chest and left to die on the cold office floor. “Why?” I whispered to no one, though Ziom raged in my mind. Why are you standing there like a coward, Alpha? “I… I can’t,” I murmured, and even my own voice sounded hollow, weak, a betrayal of what I felt. The curse had never been subtle from the day I had come of age, I had felt it, a heavy, suffocating presence over my life. Every bond I tried to form, every connection I dared to let bloom, had been tinged with the knowledge that it could never last. Every heartbeat with her, every moment I spent near her, had been borrowed time. A trap and lesson in despair. I had loved her from the moment she had walked into my packhouse. Her fire and her strength. Even as an omega, she had fought back, challenged me, refused to kneel to my power. And that had made me fall harder and deeper. But the Moon Goddess had always whispered in the wind, in the rustling of the trees, in the ache behind my eyes you will lose her. You must lose her. For your father’s sins, you will not be allowed to keep your mate. And now the prophecy has been fulfilled. I had rejected her before she could reject me. Not because I wanted to but because I had no choice. Because I was cursed. And because the pain of loving her and keeping her safe at the same time was a torment I could not endure. I had told myself it was protection. That I was sparing her from a life of suffering tied to my name, my bloodline, my cursed fate. But looking at her retreating figure, the way her shoulders held that broken pride, the way she refused to glance back at my chest ached more than I had ever thought possible. I had failed her.Failed to love her in the way she deserved. Failed to fight for her when every ounce of my being screamed at me to. Failed to defy the curse, even for one moment. The office felt impossibly silent. The moonlight poured through the windows, pale and accusing, and I felt every second of her absence like a knife in my soul. Ziom whined now, low and mournful. You let her go. She is gone. You cannot have her. “I can’t lose her,” I whispered. “I can’t” But my wolf knew the truth we both did. I was bound, Chained and Cursed. The memory of the day the Moon Goddess had appeared in my dreams as a child came back to me in jagged fragments. Her silver hair glinted like starlight. Her voice is like wind over frozen mountains. “You are your father’s son,” she had said. “And you will pay for his arrogance. You will love a mate you cannot keep. You will suffer for every choice he makes. Every bond you form, every heart you touch, will be doomed. There is no escape.” I had cried that night, a child shaking with fear I didn’t fully understand. And now, decades later, I was living in it to the fullest . I had lived for her. I dreamed of her and protected her. I loved her in ways no one else could understand and yet, I had failed. I moved to the window, staring at the city below, lights like fireflies in the darkness. My reflection stared back at me, a man hollowed out by grief and the weight of fate. She’s gone. I pressed my forehead to the cold glass, willing myself not to scream, not to call her name, not to beg for her forgiveness that I didn’t deserve. Because even if I did, even if I knelt at her feet and swore my soul to her, the curse would never let me keep her, not now nor ever. And that knowledge, more than anything else, was killing me. I heard footsteps behind me. Ziom growled low. But it was just my beta, looking concerned.“Alpha… are you alright?” he asked cautiously. “I am never alright,” I muttered, my voice rough, raw. “And I never will be not while she walks free, not while she refuses me, not while the Moon Goddess reminds me that this is my punishment.” My wolf howled in my mind again, furious and desperate. Chase her! Claim her! Do not let her go! I shook my head violently. No I could not. Not while the curse still ruled me. I sank into my chair, pressing my hands over my face, trying to quiet the storm of grief inside me. She had always been fire, and I had been ice. I had tried to contain her warmth, protect it, and in the process, I had frozen her out of my life. And now… now she is gone. I hated myself. But hatred was the only thing left that I could give. My wolf whimpered beside me, a sound of pure anguish. I wanted to throw something, smash the glass, tear apart the office in a rage so deep it would make the city below quake but I couldn’t. Because the curse was patient. Merciless. And it would not be broken not by anger, not by love, not by begging. I had loved her my entire life. And now I would spend the rest of my days knowing she would never be mine. She had broken the mate bond herself and had chosen herself. I couldn't blame her. I had failed her in every way. But the ache of her absence… it would not leave me. And somewhere, deep inside, I knew this was only the beginning. The curse had been fulfilled the moment she walked out the door but the wolf inside me, the Alpha, the man who had loved her beyond reason, beyond sense… he would never forgive the Moon Goddess, never forgive my father, never forgive himself. Because some loves are forbidden, some fates are cruel. But some mates are worth breaking the world for.
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