The Lost Queen

Chapter 5. Girl can growl

Kayla

Quiet evening became erratic when Josephine got a call about her brother. She immediately started crying and while her friends tried to comfort her, I just sat awkwardly. I didn’t know anything about her or her brother so I couldn’t be upset, of course it was sad that he was injured but as I said before I don’t know him. Maybe he was the one who started whole thing and then got injured? Maybe he was just a casualty in something bigger? I didn’t know and I don’t want to know.

When Josephine finally stopped crying, she and her friends left in a hurry, and I was glad to eventually be alone again.

“Are you new here?” I turned around to find the same redhead girl standing at the counter and smiling at me politely. “This town is small, so everyone knows everyone around here, but I didn’t see you before.”

Why everyone today asks me if I’m new here? I’m here for a full two weeks now, but this question started only now.

“Yes. Just moved in. The town looks gorgeous.”

“It’s cosy. I’m sure you will love it.”

“I hope that too.” This conversation was pointless, but I tried to be polite even if I wanted to run away screaming from today’s socialization.

“By the way, my name is Delilah. I hope to see you more often!” I nodded and turned to go. I was tired and my body screamed for sleep. I throw my empty cup into the trash bin and looked up into the sky. Sun was almost beyond the horizon and clouds were coloured in multiple colours from pastel yellow to bright red and more different shades in between. Soft wind blew through my loose hair strands, and I strolled back the same way from where I came.

When I finally got off the shower, I could smell unpleasant scent in a small bathroom. It was bitter and sweet at the same time, and it was annoying the sh*t out of me. I changed into my pyjama set and combed my wet hair into a braid. Probably it won’t dry till morning, but Ruth didn’t have a hair dryer. With final look at the mirror, I patted lotion onto my face and went inside my bedroom. I took some rope from under the mattress and tied a knot on the headboard. Then with gently but quickly moves I tied it around my left wrist and settled under covers. I looked at the wall in front of me and sighed.

Everything was bizarre. I felt silly for the need to tie myself up. When I saw rope in the garage, I wasn’t sure but now I think it’s necessary to take care of my safety. And my sanity.

I tried to find a comfortable position, but my left hand was already heavy and numb. I rolled my eyes and attempted to loosen the knot around my wrist. Suddenly I felt chills coming down my spine and heard a heart piercing howl. Almost immediately I thought about the black wolf in the woods but shook my head and concentrated on the knot.

When I finally could lay comfortable in my bed, I turned my face to the window. I looked through it into the dark sky and reminisced a wolf’s howl. It felt surreal, like I could feel this sound inside my bones. Like it was necessary for me. Maybe my new medications were seriously to strong and now I’m becoming delirious. I thought about wolf with a black fur and how enormous he was. I saw some photos in schoolbooks, but they were smaller. And that huge wolf’s eyes looked so humanly.

Yes. I’m going crazy. I need to sleep and repeat today’s experiences tomorrow. Maybe ropes will hold me tonight and I won’t find myself in the woods. Again.

Few days passed. It was finally Friday, and my last lesson will end in ten minutes. I tried to memorize some chemic symbols, but my thoughts were somewhere else. Tomorrow I have to go into my orphanage and visit a psychiatrist. We will have a conversation and I will stay there till Sunday evening. Dr. Camden will monitor me for the entire weekend and maybe he will reduce my medications dose. I promised myself that it’s the last time when I do it because after my 18th birthday, they will not be able to make me go back to the orphanage.

Bell rang and the school was over. I quickly grabbed my things and rushed out of the classroom before anyone could stop me. I took my jacket from the locker and when I turned to leave, black haired guy stood in front of me. I rolled my eyes but trying to ignore him, I moved around.

“Kayla! Wait!”

“Why can’t you leave me alone?” I was pissed. “Stop trying to be my friend. I don’t need one.”

“Calm down girl.” Cheeky smile was back on his face and my irritation level just shot up. “I wanted to invite you to the lake near town border. It will be like a small party, we will have some food, booze, and sunny weather. What do you think?”

“I can’t. I have some things to do in the weekend.”

“Oh. Really?” He was way too curious. “What kind of things?”

“I believe it’s none of your business.” I answered frustrated. I investigated his face and found smugly smile on it. I gnashed my teeth and wanted to smack him.

“Yes. You are truly a feisty one.” He laughed out loud, and I stood there bewildered. Why can’t they leave me alone? I just need some space to breathe but with the explosive personalities both he and Josephine will drive me crazy. I didn’t even know his name and he already thought that we are friends.

“You didn’t see what a feisty one is.” I mumbled trying to move around him. He caught my wrist with his huge hand, and I winced feeling his crushing embrace.

“Oh s**t. Sorry Kayla. Didn’t mean to grab it so tightly.”

“Leave me the fu*k alone!” I kind of shouted kind of growled and even surprised myself with the sounds coming from my throat. I snatched my hand from his loose grip and ran away. Ace’s brother was still standing dumbfounded near my locker, but I just flew out from the school. My heart thumped in my chest and my breathing was erratic. What the hell was that sound? I looked at my wrist which had been in burly guy’s grip and patted it with my fingertips.

I felt strange things in my body but couldn’t understand what’s going on. It felt like something was pacing in my head. Like some other thing was in my body. What the f**k? I need to get home and find my pills.

All the way I tried to think about other things, about orphanage ant last times when I felt similar. Then Dr. Camden locked me in the room and connected IV drip to me and after that I felt drowsy for a week and couldn’t do a thing. This time I must pretend that I’m fine. I can’t tell orphanage psychiatrist that everything starts again. Not when I have few months till my freedom. I have to be careful this weekend if I want to be convincing.

Somehow, I will have to sleep and not sleepwalk. Somehow, I will have to trick my psychiatrist that I’m flourishing in a new place, and everything is great. Also, not too much. I don’t need to exaggerate but I must avoid IV at all costs.

I must.