The Lost Queen

Chapter 9. Unconscious again

Kayla

A strange floating feeling was occupying my mind much more than I liked. I tried to shake it off, but it was worthless because I felt weak and dizzy. For a few moments, I wasn’t sure about anything, but then the strange pacing in my head that I felt for the last few days was getting quieter and quieter and I realized that something was wrong.

I tried moving my limbs, but they were hefty. Like a dozen bricks were tied around it. My eyelids were heavy, and I couldn’t open my eyes, but finally I was able to hear some beeping nearby. Okay, that means I’m alive if I can hear something. Right?

Right?

When I managed to open my eyes a little bit, darkness was waiting and for a moment I thought that I was seriously dead and already thrown into the black hole. Panic started to rise up in my body and beeping somewhere intensified. My throat was dry and fresh tears welled in my eyes. I turned my head and one more time attempted to move my arms, but something stopped me and finally, in the dark, I could make out something holding my arms in place. Was it rope? Or maybe some cuffs? What the hell was happening?

The doors opened, and I closed my eyes on the bright light that was making me blind.

“You are awake,” the soft woman’s voice was ringing in my ears, and I slowly opened my eyes again. She stood near my bed and was smiling. I couldn’t see clearly because of the darkness but her eyes glowed purple and for I moment I thought that everything was in my imagination. Why did her eyes glow?

The woman leaned near the beeping sound, and I tried to look, but restraints held me in place and I pulled them more vigorously. I still felt dizzy, my head was spinning, and everything looked more surreal than it seriously was. Memories flooded my mind and I remembered where I was.

Oh no.

Did I sleepwalk? That’s why I am tied to the bed and feeling dizzy, right? They found out about my lie and now they are pumping me with medication. Again. I moved one more time, but nothing changed, and the beeping machine was getting louder again.

“You need to calm down, Kayla. Everything will be normal again in a few days.” My heart thumped in my chest, and I was too scared to nod. The smile on the woman’s face looked sinister and I didn’t want to take my chances with her. I laid still on the bed and raised my eyes to the ceiling. Even in the darkness, I could make shadowy lines across the room and focus on that while sleep took me away from this frightening reality.

Time passed in an unexplainable way. Every day seemed the same and I didn’t know how much time I had spent in this condition. Some days when I woke up it was day, the sun shone through white curtains into the room and the creamy walls didn’t look so lifeless. Other times I was alone in the darkness and my only comfort was a beeping sound somewhere near my head.

When I woke up for the fifth time, I didn’t have restraints anymore and felt way better. No dizziness, but my throat was still dry. I tried to look around, but I saw only medical equipment. Everything was quiet again in my head, but rage was brewing in my whole body. I could feel it even in my toes. At the first opportunity, I have to get out and never come back. They can’t hurt me anymore; I won’t let them hurt me anymore.

“Good morning, Kayla. How are you feeling today?” Dr. Camden strolled into the room, and I looked at him. My hatred was so raw, I wanted to rip his head off with my bare hands. I wanted to punch him and hurt him like he did all those years to me. He should have been the one who helped me, but those sessions where I was unconscious for a week weren’t helpful. Those sessions just deepened my emotional confusion and I wanted to run away. From everything. I just needed to be away from all these people who wanted to hurt me.

“Can I get some water?” I asked quietly. Dr. Camden smiled and pulled out a bottle from his coat’s pocket. He helped me to sit up and gave it to me. I wasn’t sure about it but managed to swallow a few sips and put it on the small cabinet near the bed.

“Are you feeling better?” I nodded, feeling too scared to speak. I fidgeted with my fingers in my lap and sensed the doctor’s piercing gaze.

“I had to do it, Kayla. I know I said you could leave on Sunday, but you sleepwalked again, and your condition hasn’t improved at all since the last time we talked.”

“It’s okay. I’m just sad that I can’t be like every normal person.” I lied through gritted teeth and avoided the doctor’s gaze. I looked around the small room and understood that wasn’t the same room in which I left my things and felt chill coming down my spine. “When can I leave?”

“If you are feeling alright, then today in the evening. Your foster parents have been waiting since yesterday.

“Where are my things? This is not the same room in which I slept.

“Medical equipment didn’t fit in the other room, so we needed to transfer you, but I will ask someone to bring your backpack. After you get up, we will have one more conversation and then I will let you go home.” I nodded and turned to the window. The sun was shining brightly and for a moment everything felt normal, but reality was stronger than my wants and I sighed heavily.

I tried to convince myself that in the end everything would be okay. That everything will change when I am legally an adult. They won’t be able to make me come here, and they won’t keep me unconscious for a week without my consent. At the same time, something in my mind whispered that it wasn’t the end and adulthood wouldn’t save me from all this mess.

When one of the orphanage workers came into my room, I smiled gratefully and remembered a middle-aged woman from my childhood.

“Sweety, you are here!” she exclaimed, putting my backpack near my feet.

“Yes. I came here a few days ago for a check-up as always.”

I examined soft Mrs. Deriano's face and wrinkles around it. She was the one who was always gentle with me and my psychosis. She held me when I cried and gave me sweets when no one saw. Her eyes looked more tired than I remember but her smile was the same; sweet and loving.

“Mrs. Deriano, maybe you know the blonde woman who was in my room a few days ago? I was seeing her for the first time and I’m sure Dr. Camden won’t let anyone go near me if she’s not working here,” I shuddered, remembering her sinful smile and looked pleadingly at my former nanny.

“No one knows who she is, sweety. She communicated only with the doctor and left right after checking your room,” Mrs. Deriano shook her head unapprovingly, “I tried to ask Dr. Camden about it, but he dismissed my question and left in a hurry.”

I was disappointed with the answer, but it was still better than obscurity. I thanked Mrs. Deriano and she left me to change. When I managed to get up from the bed, my legs were wobbly, and I needed to grasp the bed frame for support. I felt weak and hungry, but my anger was burning higher with every passing second.

I have to have one more conversation with Dr. Camden and I will be free to go home or wherever Ruth and Arthur want. Just one step at a time.

When we finally pulled into the driveway my sigh was full of relief. For three hours, Ruth looked through the rear-view mirror and reacted to my every movement. Now I feel more tired than when I woke up after five days in an orphanage bed. Today was already Thursday and I missed four days of school and five days of my life. Wonderfully great.

I climbed out of the car and limped to the front door. My legs were still a little shaky, and I needed to lay in bed for the rest of the day if I wanted to go to school tomorrow. I gazed anxiously at the stairs to the second floor and felt Arthur’s presence nearby.

“Need some help climbing those stairs?” he asked softly.

“I can manage.”

Fifteen minutes went by climbing those stupid stairs, but I needed to prove to myself that I could do it alone. When I leave my childhood in the past, I will be alone, and I should learn how to provide for myself no matter how I’m feeling.

When I was lying in my bed while trying to catch my breath, a soft knocking sound frightened me, and I yelled way too loud.

“Everything is okay?” Ruth looked around and smiled when she found me in the bed, “I brought some snacks and drinks for you.” She showed me a plastic bag with sweets and soda inside, “I wasn’t sure what you liked, so I bought a few different kinds for you to try.”

Ruth sat on my bed and smiled gently. It was the first time I saw her looking at me like that and it clenched my heart. It was a comforting feeling, and I took the bag eagerly.

“Thank you,” I said while looking inside the bag and taking the skittles out of it.

“By the way, a few days ago, your friend came here,” Ruth said suspiciously, “he asked about your whereabouts, but I wasn’t sure how much he knew, so I told him you were gone for a week and when you come back you will tell him yourself.”

“A friend?” I asked, confused, “how did he look?”

Ruth looked at me with raised eyebrows but managed to speak.

“Tall, short black hair. I didn’t ask his name.”

“Oh!” it was all I could muster and thought about my last words to Ace’s brother. I still didn’t know his name, but he was brave enough to come to my house and ask about my disappearance. This guy didn’t feel boundaries and tomorrow I will have to warn him again if the last time wasn’t enough.