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Engagement

You would have gathered that as highly introverted as I am, I've got a bad temper. Two things just got me annoyed: the fact that Tony would always be absent-minded and also that he'd even consider proposing to me.

My lips trembled for some seconds, my finger scratched on the counter, and my body stiffened. My heart rose as I watched Tony pick up my chin, make me open my mouth, and pour into it saying "Babe, do you think you swallowed it. . . I. . . You didn't swallow anything hard, did you?"

If my eyes could murder a human being, my eyes would have murdered Tony. I watched him pace around, he took off his jacket and kept scratching his head, he went into his room and I turned around on my chair. I started thinking of every excuse I could give to leave his house. Should I tell him I have got to pee and can't use his restroom? Or maybe tell him my mom's sick? Shoot! My mom is in Milan. Yes! I got it, my cat died!

"Tony I. " I turned to his room, ready to start an act that would make me rush out of his apartment, but found him kneeling behind me, his eyes were filled with excitement, and the ringcase was poised on his palm when he slowly opened it. He cleaned his sweat and then picked up the ring case holding it out, Tony seemed to notice some smear on the ring he took it out of its case and rubbed it clean with his shirt. I rolled my eyes, assuring myself that I wasn't going to say yes. We have only dated for barely six months and he wants to propose to me.

I know I shouldn't be with a man I don't have feelings for but I like how gentle, kind, and responsible he is, I didn't want to fall under heartbreakers hands, I've been in shitty relationships and it didn't work out because I couldn't match up with their extravagant lifestyle. I need to feel loved rather than having a one-sided love have. I thought that I'd grow to fall in love with Tony as time went on.

I have been honest with him, and I'd explain myself to him, telling him I needed to take things slowly. He said the three precious words to me when we had a moment at my place while we were watching Bridgerton. I was dumbfounded, and my whole world went to a halt. I wasn't going to say back, but it looked like he didn't need a response. He kissed me hard and long and then kissed my forehead. He then turned back to watch the movie.

I haven't said it back since then and it's been three months now, how does he not get that we are still new couples growing?, hate me all you want but I just don't understand what love is. I'm trying to be in a relationship to understand it. Why do humans become stupid when it comes to love?

I broke from my thoughts when Tony started rambling what he'd believed were beautiful words, hate me as much as you want but as selfish as I am, I can summon little compassion for an honest soul.

"Babe. . . I. . . I know this is all too fast and you. . . You told me to take things slow but I was at an event and I. . . I don't know, I just kept thinking I might be going off to Corinberg and the distance could just be bad for us, but uhm. . . Even if I don't go. . . This is good for us babe, I love you and I wanna wake up to your face every day, your kind words and support just keep me going and living, Nadia I don't wanna lose you, and we don't even have to o get married right away, will you please marry me?".

Tony was my type with his looks, even if he used his glasses once in a while, he had a handsome face that every woman dreams about, but his height, not so much. He wasn't tall nor short but had a fitted body, why exactly am I describing his looks now? Well if I was gonna say yes I should have some reasons for saying yes. Tony looks are to die for, but I just can't say yes, he gets very emotional at times and I don't wanna hurt him. I sighed and let out my hands slowly trying to adjust myself and summon the courage to speak.

"Is that a yes?. . . " He said, reaching out for my hands, probably thinking I was letting out my hands to him.

"No!" I said.

"No?"

"Yes"

"Oh my God thank you. . ." He said, fixing the ring inside my ring finger and rushing over to hug me. My eyes are now bulged out, I said no, what is wrong with Tony?

"Tony. . . " I said trying to be calm, "Tony I.. " I was about to tell him I said no but then he grabbed my face and kissed me then released his lips after saying"I love you too Nadia".

I was numb, Tony continued talking distinctively, but I couldn't fathom the words cause I wasn't concentrating, I fiddled with my dress, now noticing it had gotten old, my head started spinning and it looked like I was having a severe migraine. I watched Tony ramble on and I just couldn't help the tears that formed in my eyes. I didn't want this, I didn't want to deceive him, nor did I want to hurt him. He's very fragile and I might be an introvert but I'm not at all fragile or sentimental.

"Hey. . . Babe, are you okay?" Tony said, kneeling in front of me again. He placed his palm on my cheeks and caressed it.

"Yeah. . . " I managed to choke out "Yea I'm fine Tony. . . I'm happy"

"Yeah, you are?. . . I'm happy to babe"

I stood up and he did the same too. I grabbed my bag and looked up at him. He smiled at me, cleaning the tears on my cheeks with the back of his fingers.

"I wanted to tell you Chase got sick, Ana told me I gotta take him to the vet, I'm sorry babe. . . I. . . I don't wanna leave like this but I gotta go" Ana is my neighbor and he knows she's a nursing mother, she wouldn't want to take the cat to the vet herself so there's no way he'd stop me from going.

"Oh ah. . ."

"Yeah bye," I said, cutting him off whilst kissing him on his lips as I hastened out of his apartment.