HER

BIRTH/AGONY DAY

He pulled my head closer to his crotch suddenly, I was in shock!! I tried to get up immediately since I knew his intent but he drew me closer to his body and pushed me back on the bed and was on top of me. I wanted to scream but it was as if he read my mind, he used his big hands to cover my mouth!! Even if I screamed , I guess the neighbors would have thought Mama T was as it again so it would have been fruitless anyways, I was trying to wriggle myself from him but he was just too strong, he was trying to take off my clothes but I struggled and he had difficulties doing that. I could smell alcohol on his breath, it seemed he was intoxicated, I started crying and still struggling and he was still battling with how to pull off my clothes, now I could confirm he was drunk and I really had something to be grateful for at that moment, drunk and intoxicated means weak and he wasn’t at his full strength.

I used all my last strength to wiggle myself from under him and push him off!!! I fled to the bathroom and locked the door from behind, I could hear him muttering different nonsense but all I was concerned about was how I’d be safe till Mama T comes back and for the first time ever , I was eagerly looking forward to Mama T being back home. I thought about how unlucky I was, about all what happened with Vincent, my parents, school, my life in general and just wept bitterly! Why is life so unfair to me??? It wasn’t long before I heard that Big for Nothing snoring, someone I actually thought was a responsible man!? He was nothing but an animal’ couldn’t believe I was almost r***d by my cousin!!!

The night went by and I couldn’t sleep nor come out of the bathroom until I heard Mama T come back from church in the morning, I quickly came out of the bathroom and tried to pretend as if I just woke up! She looked at me suspiciously but didn’t say a word and Lord knows I wasn’t ready to utter a word too, she peered into my room and saw her useless son laying down on my bed, she just looked at me and hissed then went to wake him to go to the guest room. I couldn’t believe my eyes but then what could I do or say ? All I was grateful for was that I wasn’t r***d, it’s all bad for me at the moment but at least one thing was perfect, I still had my virginity intact and that’s a big deal for me despite all I was going through and I planned to stay that way till I get married one day , hopefully. Till now, I still haven’t figured out what was on Mama T’s mind that morning, is it that she knew about her son’s reckless act and just decided to play dumb or she thought he was too drunk and slept at my room because he thought that was the guest room ??? It’s very confusing but then I just left everything to God. Who could I tell my story ??? Who would understand what I was going through ?? Who would I tell that my own cousin tried to force himself on me!?? It was just too much but then I had to let go.

Emma left, Life went on. It was almost my 17th birthday and I couldn’t say I was ecstatic about it. There’s nothing to celebrate and there’s nothing worth celebrating about my birthday, I’ve never celebrated a birthday. Only one good thing happens on my birthday, my parents would call to wish me. It happened like that every year till when my dad stopped calling so it was just my mom’s call and Mama T barely lets me talk to her so I just get a birthday wish and prayers with no gifts but I haven’t been able to explain what was going on with me over here to my mom. It was safe to say I wasn’t looking forward to my birthday.

It happened that my birthday was on a Saturday which was the Same day for the Extra tutoring Uncle Tolu told me about, he already gave everyone attending (or so I thought) his house address at school on Friday and it wasn’t hard to grasp since it was a popular estate that wasn’t far to school! Luckily or should I say unluckily for me, Mama T was attending a party that fateful Saturday so I figured at least I would be learning something new and my birthday won’t be as boring as it always was.

Saturday morning came by quickly and my mom called as usual to wish me and pray for me and Mama T even wished me a happy birthday and promised to get me a cake when coming back from the party, I was shocked but happy at the same time, seems my luck has started changing with my 17th birthday! I was 17 already and things were looking a little better and for the first time I was happy on my birthday. I did all my chores and I was set but I had to wait for Mama T to leave the house first and I left one hour after.

It wasn’t hard to locate Uncle Tolu’s house, the place was nice, just too silent. Seems that’s how all those estate apartment are. I think there were 3 apartments in the building, he already described how his own apartment was so it wasn’t difficult to go direct to his door , I knocked twice and I could hear him say he’d be at the door in a min .

He opened the door and he was dressed quite different from the teacher I knew at school , I almost didn’t know it was him! He is a student teacher so he’s obviously young but that day he was looking more boyish. I went in and he locked the door, I sat down on the chair in the living room and asked him where the rest where, he told me they were inside since it’s more spacious and everyone would be able to sit comfortably.

I followed him in stupidly, I was really in a good mood following the previous events of the day so I couldn’t really sense a foul play, like I was so stupid!! I didn’t even think about it!!! I got into his room and didn’t see anyone, I turned to ask him “Uncle Tolu, I thought you said everyone was in here, so where are they !?” He locked the door and just told me to sit down (the only sitting space was on the bed) and relax, that the rest were coming. He asked what I wanted to drink and I told him not to bother. He forced me to sit and I sat on the edge of the bed , he came to sit beside me, now I was nervous! I realized late that I had played myself, I started praying in my mind that the day started quite well for me and it shouldn’t become a day of agony for me, I was praying in my mind that it shouldn’t be that I led myself into the snare of the enemy with my ignorance!! I wished I wasn’t so stupid, I wished I didn’t leave home that day, I wished it wasn’t my birthday, I wished I wasn’t born, I wished the day didn’t dawn at all but then if wishes were horses, we’d all own one right ???!