Hey Stranger || Jerrie

Chapter 4

The morning of the first show of her tour, Jade was freaking out. It wasn’t that she thought her show wasn’t good, in fact she knew it was good. Early previews of the show were already getting crazy reviews. People were already calling it the “Madonna Tour”. As in, in twenty years people would be talking about the fact that they actually got to see Amelia’s AT Tour. So no, Jade wasn’t nervous for the tour. And she didn’t have stage fright. No, she was nervous for the fact that the first three nights of the tour were in Los Angeles, also known as the place she grew up.

She arrived at the venue several hours early and locked herself in her dressing room. She knew no one would bother her until at least an hour before the show began, as she didn’t even go on stage until two hours in to the show. She was still dressed in her sweats and was curled in a ball on the couch. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t cry, and she wasn’t. But she wasn’t as strong as she wanted to be.

After an hour of staring in to space, her phone dinged and she was pulled out of her stupor.

Perrie: I’m bored.

Jade felt a soft smile form on her face, pulling her briefly out of her depressed state.

Jade: Nice to meet you Bored. I’m Jade.

When Perrie didn’t respond immediately, Jade curled back in to herself, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. If she’d had it her way, she wouldn’t even be putting on a show in Los Angeles. But she hadn’t even brought that thought up to Karl, knowing she’d be laughed down. Of course she had to tour in LA, it was one of the most populous venues. She had three sold out shows in a row. She had, however, insisted they be the first shows. This way she got them over with and wasn’t dreading them for the whole four months of the tour.

Jade’s phone rang minutes later, or at least she believed it to be minutes later. She wasn’t sure. Time moved slowly when she was a funk, or it moved too quickly. She was never quite sure which. Too tired to bring the phone to her ear, she put it on speakerphone.

“Hello?” Jade answered, her voice sounding tired even to her.

“You sound just as bored as I feel,” Perrie laughed in return. “So how’s your Friday going? Excited for the weekend.”

“I guess,” Jade responded, pulling her legs in closer to herself after setting her phone on the table beside her. It was nice to hear Perrie’s voice.

“You don’t sound terribly excited.”

“I’m home for the weekend.”

“Like home as in New York, where you’ve been the past few weeks, or home as in somewhere else?” Perrie asked.

“California,” Jade returned, noncommittally. She didn’t specify where in California, not because she was worried that Perrie would figure out who she was, but rather because California was just easier to say.

“And I’m guessing you don’t like being home? Even though it’s California,” Perrie paused, “I’ve never been to California, but I’ve always wanted to go.”

“It’s not the state,” Jade sighed, resting her chin on top of her knees, “It’s just the fact that it’s where I grew up. And my mom. My mom and I don’t really get along very well.”

“I can relate to that.”

The only thing Jade had been thinking about for the past few hours had been her mom and the fact that she’d be face to face with her the moment the show ended. She’d made sure to have Karl bar her from entering her dressing room before the show. That would be just too much for her to handle. “Why don’t you and your mom get along?” Jade asked, hoping to distract herself, “If you don’t mind my asking.”

“She always wanted me to be a doctor like her,” the woman explained, “She always talked about how great it would be to have two Dr. Edwards in the family. I tried the whole medicine thing for a while, I was even an EMT my first two years of college. But organic chemistry kicked my ass and I loved art history so I changed majors. After my dad died when I was sixteen, medicine was all we had in common. And now that I don’t have that, we don’t really get along.”

Jade knew that Perrie wasn’t looking for pity. It was why she had so casually mentioned her father’s death. It was more a statement than anything else. The singer was, however, surprised at how much she could relate to Perrie, despite the grave differences in their lives. Neither had a father and both their mothers seemed to suck. The one thing Jade couldn’t relate to, however, was school. She’d had private tutors starting in middle school and took the GED at fifteen in order to get out of schooling and focus on her career. That had been her mother’s idea of course.

“Jade? Are you still there?”

Realizing she’d zoned out, Jade shook herself out of her trance, “Sorry, I zoned out a bit.”


“Are you okay?” Perrie asked, and Jade could hear the concern in her voice.

“Not really,” Jade surprised herself by admitting the truth, “But I’ll be fine. I just need to get through this weekend.”

“Okay, remember you can always talk to me about anything.”

“I know.” Jade took a deep breath and looked at the clock. The show was starting in less than an hour now. She was surprised Karl hadn’t come to check on her yet. The thought had just crossed her mind when she heard the familiar knock on her door. “I should probably go,” she sighed in to the phone, “Family and all.”

“Good luck,” Perrie returned, “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye Perrie.”

Jade hung up the phone and slowly stood up, unlocking her dressing room door to let her cousin in.

“How are you doing?” the man asked. Jade could tell by the look of concern on his face as he glanced over Jade’s outfit that Karl was speaking not only as her manager, but also as her cousin and the closest thing she had to a brother.

“I just need a Red Bull and as soon as that kicks in I’ll be in full concert mode and ready to go,” Jade offered back a smile. It was fake, of course, but she had twenty-five years of perfecting it. No one ever questioned it, not even Karl.

Karl sighed, visibly relieved that Jade was okay. Or at least, that she seemed okay. “That’s great,” she grinned, “Because we need you in hair and makeup like five minutes ago.”

Simon arrived moments later with several cans of Red Bull. Jade knew they were horrible for her, but when she was on tour, she lived off of them, often replacing meals with the energy drink. Tours were exhausting, but Red Bull helped her stay energized for each show.

The show went off without a hitch and when Jade took out her ear piece to listen to the crowd cheering at the end of the show, the smile on her face was genuine. Thousands of people had showed up for one reason and one reason only – to see her perform. And Jade was there for one reason as well. Because more than anything else, she loved to perform. Sure, she may have been pressured in to stardom, but that didn’t change the fact that she loved music more than anything else in the world.

“That was amazing!” Cher exclaimed as soon as Jade stepped off stage. She let the young girl hug her and Jade managed to even hug her back. She had a bit of a soft spot for the young girl. The girl was optimistic; she wasn’t yet jaded by her impending stardom.

“And your set was incredible!” Jade enthused in return. She’d managed to catch the last few songs on Cher’s set, knowing that the girl was nervous about performing in front of so many people.

“Amelia!” exclaimed the voice of Jade’s nightmares. She couldn’t hold back the flinch that came when she heard it, but she knew she had to keep up appearances.

Jade turned around and with a tight lipped smile responded, “Mom.”

The woman took Jade’s face in her hands and kissed each of her cheeks as if she was one of her foreign compatriots and not her own daughter. “The show was amazing,” Jade’s mother smiled, and for a moment the natural brunette who didn’t bleach her hair thought that her mom would actually be complimenting her for once. The thought was short lived, however, as the next words out of Norma Thirlwall’s mouth were thinly disguised criticism. “If I were still your manager though, it would have been done completely different. I understand that the leather and grunge look is part of your new image, but it’s not sexy enough. If I were still in charge, you’d be showing much more skin. And your set would highlight your pop songs over the others.” When Norma was her manager, she may have wanted Jade to expose more skin, but that also meant she needed strategically placed straps and concealer in places other than her face.

“And that is why you are no longer my manager Mom,” Jade responded tersely. She knew she was supposed to keep up appearances, and that there were likely reporters backstage with her, but with her mother it was difficult. “Karl is my manager now, and he’s f*****g fantastic at it. I’d go so far to even dedicate my Grammys and VMAs to him.” She smirked knowing she’d hit her mark. She hadn’t outright spoken ill of her mother, so Norma couldn’t actually say that she did, but Jade’s words did their job nevertheless.

Jade could tell that her mother was seething under the surface, but in such a public place there was nothing she could do about it. There was a reason Jade refused to be alone with her mother anywhere anymore. It may have taken her until she was twenty-two, but firing her mother as her manager and hiring her cousin Karl was the best decision she ever made. It may have put her in the media spotlight for several weeks, but it had been worth it.

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” Jade pushed past her mom, “Myself, Cher and Fifth Harmony are going to celebrate opening night together before getting a goodnight’s sleep, as we have a long tour ahead of us.”

Jade didn’t turn around. She couldn’t. She knew that if she turned around her mom would see the fear just barely hidden behind her eyes, eyes she’d been told betrayed her every emotion. She’d worked hard to control her emotions because love was a flaw. But so was fear. And that was why she couldn’t show it.

She made it to her dressing room, barely even having time to lock the door behind her, before the panic attack hit her full on.