Choosing paths

Stranger things

Classes had resumed full swing, I had little or no time for myself, the lecturers were brutal, if this was meant to be a dog fight, I would go back to my room in rags every day.

Needless to say, this week wasn’t my week, devils time of the month had caught up to me then add to it this stress, I was beyond livid, I smiled for a certain amount of time each day, I never exceeded it, sometimes I just didn’t you know… smile.

We were pushed to our limits every day, some days I didn't want to wake up, or think about the stress of the day, I felt I had no purpose in life when I did, I would dive straight into bed to wake up five minutes after.

The cruelty of the world was no joke, couldn’t time slow the f**k down?

I looked like a homeless person who got bitten by a zombie, my life held no spontaneous acts, I was  

trying to keep up with classes as it was, I couldn’t afford any distraction, not when I was a slow learner.

I buried my nose in my books for the next week, meeting up with Ray in the library just to read, my grades weren’t shitty but I needed to do better if I didn’t want to have a basket of failed courses trailing behind me.

I did my makeup tests, met up with voluntary tutors, separated myself from the world, by the third week I felt like Einstein, I needed a long break, I was never reading a book again.

I had enough knowledge for the future, Asher and I spent some time together, we had free periods together, so we had some bonding girl time or whatever it was called.

Cherry was nowhere to be seen, she had written a letter of absence to the college council, I felt it was just for courtesy, she said her family was going through a crisis, the Malnov’s in a crisis was enough to put everyone on edge.

She called from time to time, told me how much she missed me even said ‘I love you’ at the end of each call, I pushed my worries asides, I just prayed she wasn’t seriously sick with five days to live, she wasn’t this mushy.

I spent more time with Ray and Asher, since I was on a reading break, we just hung out, Ray still read when he thought I wasn’t looking, the traitor.

These guys were bad influences, in the three days of my break, I had drank alcohol, gone to numerous parties, been tempted to have a threesome and almost fell for it, missed three of my classes not like they were important anyway, made me do heinous acts yet here I was enjoying each and every aspect of it.

Asher was into b**m, she was a submissive, I watched her act with Raymond once and to say I wasn’t mesmerized was an understatement.

The act of letting go of everything, of trusting that particular person, with your body, soul and consent.

It scared and amazed me really, the thought of relinquishing my control to another human was enough to set my tail on fire and tell me not to run.

It was intriguing no doubt but If I was going to be anything, it wouldn’t be a sub.

I was painfully wrong.

**

I huffed hearing Ray and Asher’s snicker behind me, “Not a sub my foot” Ray snickered

“Just one phone call had you running like a b***h in heat-“

“A b***h indeed” Ray added as they chuckled behind me.

If I didn’t have dark skin, I knew I would be swimming red by now, the faint red from my neck to my cheeks were enough to send them into another round of laughter.

Have friends they said, It would be fun they said, I was going to commit murder soon, I knew exactly who to kill, craning my neck I glared at dumb and dumber.

“Yo! Where are we meeting your girlfriend or do you have an internal map for her” Asher chuckled softly under her breath, Ray just went on and on in reckless abandon, ogre!

I felt her before I saw her, turning to the direction where I could sense her, my smile faded – dropped – turned upside down.

What was Nate doing here?

Cherry looked at me cautiously, silently telling me to behave, I huffed, she couldn’t tell me what to do.

Thirty minutes later, with all of us bundled into a café nearby, my face glowed a bright pink, I could hear Ray coughing to contain his laughter, Asher wasn’t any better, she hid behind the menu as she laughed, Nate and cherry were too caught up in a conversation to notice.

Nate

What was he even doing here, laughing and joking with youthful exuberance, why wasn’t he ugly?

I glared at cherry, why was she even sitting way over there with him, I was itching to mark my territory, to show what was mine, to show she was mine, she avoided eye contact with me instead brushing her fingers with mine anytime she reached for her cup.

It sent pleasurable tingles down my spine, soon I was like pudding in her hands, I could never stay mad at her for long, I caught a ghost of a smile on cherry’s face but I was too giddy to care.

I caught Nate watching our interactions, I smirked at him but he only smiled at me softly, was that pity in his eyes? It was gone as soon as it came, I glanced at Ray but he was so engrossed in Asher’s see through blouse, men.

I filtered through the flowing conversation, pitching in here and there just enjoying the little contact I got from cherry.

Too little, so much time gone, the sun was setting, tomorrow was a weekend, we could stay out If we so wished but I wanted to sleep in tomorrow.

I needed the rest, the coming week was going to be the hell all over again.

We piled out of the café in twos, I was the only one unmatched, I frowned at that.

“Will you guys be available tomorrow?” Nate threw his beautiful smile right into my face.

“Tomorrow? What’s so special about it?” Ray asked.

“You didn’t tell them?” Nate turned to cherry with an arched brow.

“I’m sorry it skipped my memory, just be there tomorrow, the driver will pick you up, there will be a tux” she gestured towards Raymond “and two gowns, our families will be coming together for a reunion, I would be beyond happy to have you guys there” cherry and I made eye contact, if I didn’t have legs, I would have melted into the ground.

“Yes there’s a party tomorrow, then family get together, friends and all that” I rolled my eyes at the sound of Nate’s deep voice, cherry bit her lip to stop a giggle.

“Oh ok, we’ll be there” we hugged each other goodbye, I gave Nate a polite nod whilst squeezing cherry in an almost too intimate hug, she giggled snuggling into my chest.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you” she whispered

I leaned in to steal a kiss but caught myself just in time.

I watched them drive away, waved Ray and Asher goodbye.

Now alone laying on my bed I wondered why I didn’t kiss her.