Garfield

Garfield

Garfield

When I woke up I thought I was in my bed. I thought I was at home again but I wasn't. I was naked and here was this grown man lying next to me. It scared me a little, that I could be so vulnerable next to another man. That I could let him see that special part of my body and let him get close to it even to touch it and then to touch my face and touch my lips and my chest like a f*****g b***h. Like his b***h. I had to go home, now. I couldn't believe it. How could I let myself be humiliated like that? I was so stupid!

He turned around and looked at me. He had just gotten up. Somehow I feel from the way he was looking at me that he didn't really know what was going on either. He looked shocked to see me in his bed and I felt a little frightened, but then I could see it all start coming back to him. "Hi Garfield" He said. He softened. "Good morning"

"Hi..."

"He sat up, scratched his head. I could feel his naked skin moving, touching my naked body. We were so close. Too close. "Do you want me to make you coffee, or?"

"Thanks" I said. So we freshened up and put back on our clothes. It was awkward seeing his p***s again and letting him see mine. But I couldn't turn around, because then he would just see my f*****g white ass. My ass had always been paler than the rest of my body and it sagged a little too. I didn't like my ass. I got dressed and drank like two sips off the coffee and then I headed for the door.

"Garfield" he said "Last night was great. Thank you"

I just looked him up and down, and then I left. Then I thought, as I was walking out the door and out into the street. Had I really let him have s*x with me? Could I have even stopped him if I wanted to? His hands over my body were so strong and firm as if he was holding me down. Like, like a b***h. But I didn't want to think of it as r**e; I'd rather have the trouble of taking it upon myself that I had just had s*x with a man. It would be easier than all the emotional stress of r**e. I'd just rather things were peaceful between me and Louis Parker from high-school. He pushed me around in high-school, and now he was just doing it one more time. If I wanted to...If I wanted to, I thought.

I lay down in my bed at home with my eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. I had just had s*x with a man. I thought. A man! I sighed and rolled over. You know, maybe I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that he wanted to use me, and maybe...maybe I wanted him to. I mean, at first I couldn't have held him off, but then. When he'd stopped and when he'd gone to suck me, I didn't have to let him, but I did. Oh but for a man his lips were so sweet! I would imagine a man's lips being hard on me but they were easy and smooth and soft. I gasped. And the way he looked at me when I was leaving. No one had ever looked at me like that. Could it be? He loves me? Oh someone loves me! My heart nearly fell out of my chest. Why not? It was so soft and melted. At last! I thought. Someone loves Garfield Dawson. My eyes closed as I fell into a daze. You know, I thought, I had never been touched like that. I had never been given an o****m by anyone, I had never had s*x and last night Louis Parker stole my virginity. Oh no, he didn't, I gave it to him, yes. I...I love Louis Parker. I wanted him to be the one to have it. I was so glad that he was the one that took it from me. I smiled. Maybe, just maybe, I belonged with men, and that was why I was never lucky.

I unzipped my pants slowly in my bedroom and then I sunk my hand down, deep down under my boat patterned boxers. I closed my eyes and I thought about Louis Parker. At dinner time my mom called me. "Garfield!" she said "Garfield!" It's time to eat. I was still in my room, m**********g, thinking about Louis Parker. "Coming ma" I said, finishing off. Cumming ma, I thought, after I finished and rolled my eyes at the ridiculous thought.

I sat down at the table.

"So, what did you and Louis talk about last night?" she asked

I blushed

"What? is something wrong?"

"Oh no ma" I smiled, "Could you just please pass the Louis...I mean, um, the salt?"

My mom laughed "Okay"

My mother was my best friend, I could tell her everything, but I didn't know If I could tell her this "Um, ma? I have something to, t...tell you"

"And what's that honey?"

"Uh..."

"Yes?"

I chuckled "I like Louis, a lot" I said with an embarrassed smile.

She looked at me with a little concern "You mean Louis Parker?"

"Um, yeah that Louis"

"Oh, well that's nice honey"

I sighed; I didn't think she knew what I was getting at. Well so much for making a quick statement and getting it over with.

"So that's why you were up there so late huh?"

My whole face turned red

"Well, he seems like a nice guy"

"Ma...when I said...I liked him I meant, well, I really like him"

"Mmhm, is he gay?" she said, sipping her cup of tea, and then I smiled. She did know what I was getting at! Oh the way she was being so casual about it. Good old mom! I could see a little smile appearing on her face too as she knew I understood. "He, never really mentioned that ma but he asked me if I liked boys."

"And what did you say?"

"I didn't say anything" I smiled

"So, did you two have s*x?"

At that I almost spat out my tea "Ma!" We both laughed "You can't be casual about that!"

"And why not?" she giggled

"Ma I..." I blushed

"Oh come on, we both know the way you lit up after you left the house. I could see it, anyone could see it"

"Ma..." I bit my lip "I think I love him, and yes, he...I lost my virginity last night"

"Well, it's settled then, you're gay"

"No! I'm not gay ma"

"Oh don't be ridiculous Garfield no girl has ever liked you" she stifled a laugh

I rolled my eyes and then bit my lip "Ma, I really like him"

"Well...call him! Oh Garfield, I'm so happy for you!" Her face lit up as if she was really happy. I knew she wasn't disappointed and that she wasn't just pretending to understand. She was really genuinely happy for me! And that made me happy, proud of myself actually, for admitting to my mother that I liked Louis.

So the next day that's exactly what I did. I went to the outdoor mall a few miles away and I bought two movie tickets. Then I hurried home and got to the privacy of my room to make the phone call. I was so exited. I dialed his number I had saved on my phone and bit my lip and waited. I was in a thin white T and some light blue worn out jeans. My hair was a hot mess. Suddenly the ringing stopped and I could hear these noises on the other end, like, a woman screaming and heavy, labored breathing. "Don't stop. Don't stop!" she yelled. I figured he must have been having an argument with someone. "Hang on, someone's on the phone" He said. "Hello?"

I smiled "Um, hi, it's me, Garfield."

"Uh...huh"

"Listen um, I thought last night was really great and well...this isn't really about last night, actually. Well it sorta is, but...well the point is. I really like you and I don't know if you like me or...Um hey, I found these tickets lying around in my drawer, movie tickets...and I was just wondering if..."

"Garfield..." he sighed. "I, I'm actually kind of busy right now I'm in the middle of a meeting" I heard giggling as soon as he said that. "I can't come; you know maybe you should call later?"

"Oh...Oh..."

"I don't, mean it like that I mean I really would have come"

"Oh, no it's okay, I totally understand, um, yeah, you go do that thing, I had this thing I was supposed to do anyway you know, um, homework...for college"

"Um, okay, well, bye"

"Bye"

I was distraught, I felt destroyed inside. Here I was, a 28 year old man and, I had been lonely for so long but never really felt it until I felt how beautiful it feels to be so close to love but now I knew how it felt to have that love just, slip through your fingers. He said he cared, and, well, maybe he was just another one of those girls who just, had better things to do than be with silly old Garfield.

At least that's what I thought, until in the afternoon something really unexpected happened. He called me back around four! I picked up right away. I tried not to sound too enthusiastic...but I couldn't help it! I loved him. Oh I loved Louis so, so much! I was hung up on him! "Hello?" I said, as if I had just gotten a call saying I'd won a million bucks. He laughed at my enthusiasm "Hello Garfield" he said. "Listen, hey, you still up for that..."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"

"Meet me up at The Falls. I'm there"

"You're there?" I grinned

"I'm there"

I gasped

"Oh, and Garfield, don't be late" he hung up. At that I scrambled to my closet and picked out my best casual outfit: A dark-blue jeans, my new converse sneakers, a heap of cologne, my chain, my watch and my new hoodie jacket with a white T inside. Oh, and of course that huge awkward smile I wore on my face so that even a blind man could tell I was in love.