When The Church Bells Toll

Tia Getrudes

      “Leo, how come you’re not married yet?” Rogelio asked him one evening while they strolled at the town plaza. He continued, “You have been around the globe, earned decent money, met beautiful girls… ooh, Mama Mia! And yet, still…”

    They turned around the corner and went inside Restorante Burritos Amigos. They settled on a table near the piano bar. Leoncio’s head turned and gazed at a distance, and searched for the right words to say. He smiled broadly, but his fingers fidgeted on top of the table. He looked at Rogelio and said,

     Yo quiero un café. Por favor.

    Rogelio laughed.  Claro, he replied. Rogelio waved his hands to the waiter and ordered two cups of coffee and a plate of empanadas y tacos.

    “It’s okay Leo, you don’t have to answer it.”

    Leo’s lips formed a big smile. He started to talk. “There was … one woman, I have known her since last year. I have met many women, of different nationalities even, they chased me with their dear lives, and given me everything,… but nothing compared to the one who made me realized I wasn’t as charming as I thought myself to be. That was a big punch on my face, you know. As if, I was knocked out by Pepe Duran.”

    Rogelio laughed his heart out once again which made the other customers turned their heads. He wondered what his good-looking cousin Leo would have looked like if he was punched by the great Spanish boxer, Duran. He loved his cousin to bit, but that was an interesting thought. 

   “So, what happened?

    “She told me I was full of myself. She hated me. But she was different. I even asked myself so many times. Why would I waste my time with somebody like her when I can have the woman I want, without even lifting a finger? “

    Rogelio raised his left eyebrow and stared at Leoncio for a long time.

    “I am younger than you, and didn’t have much experience when it comes to women, but I have known better. Lo Siento primo Leo, but that is not the way to treat a woman, mother used to tell me…

     Hijo, debes respetar las mujeres. (Son, you should always respect women).

    Leoncio fell silent. Rogelio was right. Tia Gertrudes was a woman who can put a man in his proper place. Whenever she opened her mouth, her words turned ballistic, people need to get out of her way, or else be caught in a crossfire.

    Leoncio recalled…

     The first time I saw Tia Gertrudes, she scared the hell out of me. She was standing in front of her doorstep, hands-on akimbo, with a kind of look that says, ‘I am warning you, do not mess with me, kid’. Her black hair - with streaks of grey - was tied up so tightly in a bun, so tight I could see both of her chinky eyes stretched up to her temples. She was a tall woman with wider hips and a lovely tan. She was the kind of woman whom men called, ‘Mujer de Sustancia’ – something I never really did understand. She didn’t smile at me on the day we arrived in Frias. I was not able to sleep in the first week. Father had told me to ignore it because, behind the stern exterior was a woman with a good heart, just like mama. An idea that was hard to accept at first. Mother was the kindest of them all. Yes, I haven’t met her, but in my soul, I have known. She carried me in her womb for nine months, remember? Whenever my father leaves for work, it was difficult for me. She was always busy with the household chores and taking care of Rogelio, who was barely eight months old at that time. One day, I was punished for leaving the house without permission and for coming home late. I was told to stay in my room, with no dinner, until she told me so. Life was hard for a 12-year-old without a mother, with a father who was far away and most of all, living with a strict relative. The ordeal lasted for two days. If only humans have nine lives, I would have lost it all without mercy. I used to think that she was a male soldier in her past life. I was glad I survived. One day, things had changed for the better when I offered my help to look after Rogelio so she can do her chores. She smiled at me for the first time and said the words, ‘muchas gracias’, Leoncio. That moment I realized, my life was not as bad as I perceived it to be. God must have loved me after all.

    He concluded, if a man has a problem with a strong woman, the advice of a much stronger woman was desperately needed to rescue him from this predicament.  

     One evening, Leoncio made two cups of tea for him and Tia Gertrudes.

    “Tia?” Leoncio started.

    “Si, Leoncio?” Tia Gertrudes replied but didn’t look at him. She continued with her sewing.

    “How can I tame a woman?”

   “Tame?” What word is that Leoncio? Tame is only used for animals.”

    “What I mean is, when a woman is angry, too hard to approach or simply being mean, how can a man make her laugh or even smile, and not be angry anymore? And another thing, why would men be the first one to talk and apologize all the time?”

    “Leoncio, the way you talk about women, made me angry.”

    Tia Gertrudes rolled her eyes and looked at me like she was a widow of an Italian mob boss, in a black dress, carrying a baby Armalite and just waiting for the right moment to revenge her husband’s death. That’s how intense she was. Scary was an understatement.

   “The problem with men was their ego. Without it, all problems with relationships are solved. Forget about ego and talk to her. “ Tia Gertrudes responded.

    “But, Tia, I tried already, but every time, either she ignored me, not talk to me at all, or act as if I don’t exist.”

     “Por Dios por santo, Leoncio! Eres una mariquita? ( Good Lord, Leoncio! Are you a sissy?) You haven’t tried hard enough then. “How long have you known each other?”

    “About a year now.”

    “Just because a woman would not talk to you it doesn’t mean she hated you. Women are bipolar sometimes. Sometimes, hot, sometimes cold. They don’t know what they want, so fickle-minded. If I am a man, I would be mad too.”

     “That’s why I am confused, Tia.”  

    “As I have said, remove the ego. It will answer everything. If at first, they say no, try again and don’t give up.”

   “But for how long?”

    “Depends on who you are dealing with. Do I know this woman, Leoncio?”

    “Uhmm.. t-the girl who works at the library.”

    “Que horror! Quien? Celia…no, C-Celina de Almeda? Tia Gertrudes sat back and said. “That girl is okay, not so pretty, but she’s way too unconventional. She's a book lady but It’s hard to read her.”

   “Yes, I know. That’s why I am confiding in you.”

   “What did you see in her?”

   “I am not sure, Tia…”

    “Women are not made of stones. Remember this, if you are sincere. Apologize. Say thank you. Listen. Listen. I said listen, it’s very important. Entiende?( Do you understand?). If you don't know how to listen and read between the lines, you fail her. Are you listening?"

   "Yes, Tia."

   "Also, hug and kiss her. Do something good for her. Make her laugh. Be thoughtful. Be kind. Be gentle. Be yourself. Women have strong intuition. They know if a man is fake. Are you a fake, Hijo?” queried Tia Gertrudes.

   Leoncio shook his head. “I understand, but I am not a saint.”

   “A woman doesn’t want a saint. She wants someone real.”

    Muchas gracias, Tia. “I’ll think about it.”

   De nada. Now, go to bed. Thank you for the tea. Buenas Noches.”

   “Buenas Noches.”

     That night, Leo couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned in bed till the break of dawn. Confused and wondered, what kind of potion did he have to concoct to make her change her mind.