3:19amDon’t Tell Me What To DoNoted.Card #847291Page 48
812 Words
3:15am.
Jungkook isn’t sitting. Standing makes him feel less pathetic about watching the door. It doesn’t work.
The book is on the desk. _The Bell Jar_. Returned at 3:47am last night, checked out at 3:19am, returned again at 3:47am. She kept it 28 minutes. Long enough to find his note. Long enough to answer.
_Don’t tell me what to do._
He’s read it 20 times. The pencil is faint. He’s afraid to touch it. Afraid he’ll smudge her out.
3:16am.
He has another sticky note. Green this time. Taehyung’s pad is running out. Taehyung is going to kill him.
He shouldn’t write. He knows this. The circulation manual is taped to the desk: _Do not deface library property. Do not interact with patrons outside of service transactions._
He also knows he’s already fired if anyone checks the cameras.
He writes anyway. Handwriting still bad.
_Then tell me what to._
He peels it. Hovers over page 47. Her smudge is there. Her words are there. _Don’t tell me what to do._
Putting his note next to hers feels like stepping into her house without knocking.
He does it.
_Don’t tell me what to do._
_Then tell me what to._
It looks like a conversation. It isn’t. It’s him talking to himself on top of her.
He closes the book. Puts it on the reshelving cart. Takes it off. Puts it under the desk. Takes it out. Puts it back on the cart.
3:17am.
The radiators clank. The door doesn’t shush.
No one comes in.
3:18am.
He’s still staring at the door. The glass reflects the library back at him. Fluorescents. Empty tables. Him, looking like a dog someone forgot to let inside.
3:19am.
She’s late. She’s never late. 47 nights, 3:17am on the dot. He has the data.
3:25am.
He checks the computer. _The Bell Jar_ – Status: On cart. Last checked out by: Y/N. Due: 3 weeks.
No new checkouts.
3:47am.
The time she returned it last night. The slot is silent.
He walks to the front door. Looks out. Campus is dead. Snow coming down sideways. No footprints. No navy hoodie.
4:15am.
Taehyung texts: _You buy those noodles or you dying for real_
He doesn’t answer.
5:00am.
He should reshelve the book. That’s his job. Put books back. Don’t write in them. Don’t wait for ghosts.
He doesn’t.
6:22am.
Sunrise. The morning guy, Minho, shows up. Stomps snow off his boots. “You look like shit.”
Jungkook shoves _The Bell Jar_ into Minho’s hands. “Put this back.”
Minho frowns. “You don’t shelve?”
“Just do it.”
Minho shrugs. Takes it. Pauses. “Hey. Some girl was asking for you.”
Jungkook’s heart does something stupid. “When?”
“Dunno. Like, 8pm? Before my shift. Said she’d come back.”
8pm. Not 3:17am. Not her.
“Oh.”
Minho leaves with the book.
Jungkook clocks out. Doesn’t sleep.
He comes back at 2:00pm for his next shift. First thing he does is check the shelf.
813.54 PLA.
_The Bell Jar_ is there. He pulls it.
Page 47.
His green note is gone.
No new note.
Just her smudge. And under it, fainter than before, like she tried to erase it and gave up:
_Don’t._
That’s it. Not _Don’t tell me what to do._ Just _Don’t._
Don’t what. Don’t write? Don’t wait? Don’t breathe?
He closes the book. His hands aren’t shaking. They’re still. Too still.
He puts it back on the shelf.
3:15am rolls around again. Night 2.
He doesn’t stand. He sits. Doesn’t look at the door. Looks at the circulation log.
No Y/N.
3:17am.
Nothing.
3:47am.
Nothing.
He makes it to 6:22am. Minho comes in.
“She come back?” Jungkook asks before he can stop himself.
Minho blinks. “Who?”
“The girl.”
“Oh. No.”
Jungkook nods. Goes home.
Night 3. Same.
Night 4. Same.
Night 5, Taehyung shows up at 3:00am with two cup noodles and a look.
“You’re logging her again.”
“I’m not.”
“You’re sitting in her chair, dumbass.”
Jungkook is. He didn’t notice. The chair by the radiator. Where he can see the door and the slot.
Taehyung sets a noodle cup in front of him. “She’s not a stray cat. You don’t get her to come back by leaving food out.”
“I’m not—”
“You paid her fines.”
Jungkook shuts up.
Taehyung rips the lid off his noodles. “You know what’s worse than a guy who stalks a girl? A guy who thinks he’s rescuing her while he does it.”
3:17am.
The door doesn’t open.
Taehyung watches him not look at it.
“s**t,” Taehyung says. Quiet.
Jungkook doesn’t answer.
He waits until 6:22am. Again.
She doesn’t come.
The book stays on the shelf.
Page 47 stays empty.
***************
- Writer
