Lost in Love

The End

CHAPTER EIGHT

The next day Tony woke up early. He was determined to talk to Alex, she had chased him out of her hospital room the day before but he would not let their story end there. He wanted her to hear the rest of it, even though it would end badly for him.  She deserved closure and he was not giving up until she had it. He arrived at the hospital that morning and found her sitting in a chair by the window looking outside. She was so serene and beautiful. He knew she hated him right now but he was not leaving, not today.

“Hey amore,” he said, still standing in the doorway. As always he had brought her her favourite candy and flowers. She didn't turn to look at him so he walked over to the bedside table and put in the fresh flowers in the water and placed the candy beside them. He had not even gone to work today, he needed to do this and her ignoring him was not going to stop him. He walked over to her and kissed her chick, she still did not respond.

“Allow me to finish the story,” he said, taking a chair and sitting next to her. 

“Whatever you want,” Alex said, not looking at him. The only thing stopping her from throwing him out was the fact that she wanted to know what happened next.

After the night they had fought, Tony had left her loft and headed straight to the airport. He boarded his jet and flew to Paris. He needed to clear his head. He stayed in Paris for a whole month, and then another in Beijing and another in Rome. He told himself he was working but the truth was that he could not bring himself to come back to New York after what had happened. When he finally returned after the month was over he had gone to his mother’s house. 

“You look pale son,” his mother said when she saw him.  He gave her a kiss and went over to the small table in the lobby of their mansion and poured himself a glass of scotch.

“Hello mother,” he said after taking a sip.

“What is wrong Anthony?” she asked, concerned about her son. 

“I am alright mother,” he said, draining his drink. He was not okay. The last three months had been the worst. He had cried a lot. Right now he looked raggedy, his hair and beard were out of control and he was just tired.

“Where have you been Athnony?” she asked, not letting up.

“I went to Europe, then Asia,” he said dismissively, he just wanted her to drop it.

“Tell me what is going on,” she said firmly this time. Tony knew that tone. He knew that he had no choice but to tell her what was wrong with him.

“I messed up mother,” he said sitting down across from her.

“What did you do?” she asked patiently.

“I met a girl at my birthday party..” The flood gates opened and Tony told his mother everything that had happened between him and Alex.

“How could you tell her that Anthony?” his mother asked in the hard tone.

“I was afraid my mother. You remember Lana,” he said looking at her with pleading eyes.

“Yes but you need to move on from that. It's been five years,” she said standing up and walking to him. She sat next to him and hugged her son. He started crying. He had been in so much pain and now he just wanted to cry in his mother’s arms. He cried for what seemed like forever until the cries came in as sobs. 

“What should l do mum?” he asked desperately for help. He had no idea how to fix it.

“You need to tell her the truth, baby and hope she forgives you,” she said softly comforting her son.  

“All of it?”

“Yes, everything,” 

Tony nodded, kissed his mother and went up to his room. He was suddenly sleepy. He had a decision to make, could he tell Alex everything? Would she even want to talk to him? If she did liste, would she ever forgive him? He felt so lost.  He fell on his bed and fell asleep trying so hard not to panic.

***

Tony spent a week after that trying to reach Alex. She would not take his calls or see him. Nancy even refused to set up a meeting saying that he had really hurt her friend. He decided to go and wait for her at her house, yes it was stalkery but he would do anything. He got to her loft and waited by the door. She was not coming home. He stood there for two hours and she still didn't show. 

He sat down in front of her door, he was not going anywhere until she agreed to speak to him. Finally she arrived carrying groceries. At first she didn't see him but when she finally did she stopped dead in her tracks. She stood there and stared at him. She looked good in her work outfit and her hair in a messy bun.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, still standing there looking at him. He couldn't read her expression.

“You look good,” he managed to say.

“What do you want?” she was not budging, this was going to be hard.

“Can we talk please? I know you hate me right now but please hear me out,” he said pleading with her.

“No,” she said and finally moved to her door. He stepped aside and she unlocked her door and walked in. She closed her door behind her. She really did not want to talk to him. He was not leaving though, he was sleeping by her door if that would make her talk to him. He sat down by the door and waited.

Alex walked into her house and placed down the bags of groceries on the counter. What the hell was he thinking coming back here after what he said. She felt a mixture of rage and sadness rise in her chest. She went over to the sink and drank some water. Who did he think he was coming back like that. She had suffered in the last three months trying to get over him and what he did. She had put in a lot of court hours and ice cream to get to this point. 

She had ignored him and refused to see hi in the last week and now he was here after three months of silence. She went over to her bathroom, she needed a shower. She got into the shower and stayed in there for a long time. When she finally walked out , she dried off and dressed in her pajamas. She felt better. She took her phone, she wanted to tell Nancy that her boss had come by. She noticed she had received a message from Tony. She was tempted to delete it without reading it but curiosity got the better of her.

“I am still here. Please allow me to explain. I am not leaving until you talk to me.”

She tossed her phone on the bed and went to make dinner. He could stay if he wanted. She made herself some pasta and meatballs and ate in front of the Tv. It had been two hours since she got home. Was he still out there? She decided  to look. When she opened her door, she saw him sitting on the floo with his back against the wall opposite her door, with his head bowed, was he sleeping?

“You should go home,” she said looking at him.

“No, I am not leaving until you talk to me,” he said standing up.

“Fine come on,” she hated that she could fold so easily. But what would it hurt to hear his explanation? He got into the house and closed the door behind him.

“Do you want anything?” she asked herself some water.

“No, thank you. I just want to talk,” he said, still standing there. He looked sad and lost and part of her wanted to feel sorry for him but after what he said to her she wouldn't.

“Talk,” she said walking to the living room and he followed behind her. They both sat down and he hesitated for a while before he started talking.

“I am sorry for what i said last time i was here. I did not mean any of that,”

“So what did you mean?” she asked looking at him.

“I was afraid,”

“Of what?”

“Well five years ago i was in a committed relationship with this girl Lana. We were really happy, at least I thought we were. We got engaged and we planned the wedding together and everything. I wanted it to last,” he paused for a minute and looked at her before he continued. 

“We got married and everything seemed fine at first. Six months later, Lana was pregnant,” he stopped again and took a deep breath. Alex could see the mental struggle reflecting on his face but she chose to keep quiet and let him speak.

“One day i came home early from work and found Lana in bed with my friend Paul. We grew up together so i never thought anything of it when he spent time in my house until that day. Lana and l had a big fight and she told me the child was not mine, it was Paul’s. I left the house and for months I lost it. I started partying all the time, spending money, and I wanted to die. My mother found me one day, drunk and sobbing on the floor of my house and she took me home. She took care of me until I was well enough to be myself again. Lana and l got divorced and she cashed in her ten million dollars from the divorce settlement and l saw never to let myself be blindsided like that again,” he finished and Alex could hear the bitterness and sadness in his voice.

“You thought I wanted to do that to you?” she asked softly.

“I did not understand the feelings I was having for you. They were strong and I was afraid that I would hurt you because of my pain. When you told me your life story when we were in Africa, all i wanted to do was hold you and tell you everything was going to be fine but i was afraid that even after all that pain you went through i would hurt you and i couldn't bear that. So i worked. All that time I thought about you and I worked trying to get you out of my mind but failed. When finally i gave up, i came to your office because i wanted one last date before i walked away. When you looked at me with so much need in your eyes that night I was here I knew I had no right to do that to you. So i told you all those things so that you walk away from from me,”

“So that was to protect me?” she could not help the sarcasm that dripped from her voice.

“Yes, to protect you from myself,” he was trying so hard to make her see his point of view.

“Are you kidding me?” she was angry now.

 “Those words you said hurt. You made me feel ugly and worthless,”

“I am sorry, i panicked but i didn't mean any of that,” he said looking at her, begging her to understand.

“So what changed Tony,” she asked, still feeling like hitting something.

“The last three month i went to Europe, convinced I had done the right thing and that I was done with you. But i have never felt so much pain in my life before. I missed you, I couldn't do it. I love you Alex. You mean everything to me, I am happiest when i'm with you.” 

“You love me?’ she asked, shocked and he just looked at her and nodded.

“What about Lana, clearly you still hung upon her,” she said, still trying to process what he had just said. She had wanted to hear this from him for the past eight months and now that he had said it she still couldn't believe it or know what to do.

“She hurt me, yes, but i don't feel anything for her. I want you, only you,” he said with a little hope in his voice.

“I can't, if you hurt me again, I won't make it,” she said looking away. He came up behind her and hugged her waist.

“I will never hurt you amore, I love you, I will protect you, I will tell you how beautiful you are everyday, how intelligent and funny you are,” he said, kissing her neck and somehow she felt all her insecurities fall away. All the pain she had felt in the past months, in her life just seemed to wash away. She Turned and kissed him deeply. 

“I love you too Anthony,” she said, trying to stop herself  from crying. She saw his eyes brighten and he smiled and picked her up. He kissed her while swirling her around the room. He finally stopped and put her down. He reached into his pocket and went down on one knee. She gasped when she saw the ring he had given her that night of the reunion.

“Will you marry me for real Alexandrea Sanchez, and make me the happiest man on the planet?”

“Yes yes yes,” she fell on her knees in front of him and kissed him and cried. He put the ring on her finger and for the first time in a long tie she knew what happiness felt like. That night he made love to her with all the passion and love that was in him and she responded with the same amount of pasion. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, oblivious of the storm that was brewing, and how drastically things were about to change.

***

The next month that followed was filled with planning and decisions about the wedding. Alex had met Tony’s mom and to her surprise they had hit it off. They had gone dress shopping, tasted cake and picked out so many decorations. Tony had gone back to Africa to finalise the opening of the branch in Tanzania. When he returned they had done press conferences, since Tony was a socialite and such appearances were expected. Alex had been overwhelmed by it all but Tony had helped so much through it all. She had seen a side to him that she had no idea existed. They had finalized everything and the wedding was finally here.

As can be expected, Alex woke up feeling jittery. She was excited to start her new life with her husband but she also felt uneasy. She wanted so badly to be happy for the rest of her life and she knew Tony was going to make her happy. Nancy helped her put on her dress. It was a white princess dress with a lot of lace. It had flowers embroidered into it and beads and sparkly things. It had a round neckline and long sleeves. She looked in the mirror and she looked beautiful, she almost cried.

“Don't cry, your makeup will be ruined,” Nancy said hugging her friend. She laughed and took in deep breathes. It was time. Nancy was going to give her away since her parents were gone. The music was played and the people rose. She looked at the altar and saw Tony standing there in his tux, looking more handsome than ever. He was smiling so hard, she wanted to laugh. Nancy took her arm and they started walking down the aisle. Nancy kissed her cheek and gave her away to Tony.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the union of Alexandrea and Anthony…” the priest began. He read a few verses and then turned to the young couple.

“Have you two prepared your vows?”

“Yes,” the both said. Tony went first.

“Alexandrea, I know I will not always be what you want me to be. I might forget to listen or forget to share. I might not always agree. I might be stubborn and I might be wrongheaded, but I will always love you. I will always strive to be the man you believe I can be. I love you Alex, you melted the snow in my heart that made me so afraid to love and now I am here and I want nothing else than to be with you forever,” he said smiling at her. She wanted to cry but she stopped herselt and focused on saying her vows.

“Athony, You are the first person I want to see in the morning and the last at night. I look forward to loving the smallest moments, like your eyes while you toss your hair. Spin a coin into a fountain and make a wish for us. You are my wish come true.” she smiled at him and she could see him fighting off tears as well.

“Before we proceed, does anyone here have a tangible reason why these two should not get married?” the priest said looking out at the crowd. There was silence.

“Do you Athony take…”

“I have something to say,” a voice said from the entrance. Everyone turned to see who had crushed the wedding. Alex did not know the woman who was coming into the church holding what looked like a baby. As she drew closer she realised she had seen her somewhere before, then it hit her, she was the tall blonde from Tony’s birthday party. Alex turned at looked at tony confused. Tony’s eyes wided, it was Amilia, why was she here?

“Amilia, what do you want,” Tony said clearly annoyed but with a hint of fear in his voice.

“I am here to  give you your child Anthony. I gave birth to him last week, I am not cut out to be a mother so here you go,” she said handing the baby over to Tony who just took the sleeping child and looked down at him with an expression Alex could not read.

“What is she  talking about Tony?”

“Oh Tony, you did not tell your bride about your son?” Amilia said in a cynic tone and laughed so hard it went on for a couple minutes.

“Alex I can explain,” Toney tried to salvage the already bad situation.

“Let me enlighten you of your love. Nine months ago, your husband to be here took me to his house after his birthday party and we made love, multiple times and  this is the result,” she said looking at Alex who was now almost as white as the dress she wore.

“Baby? Toney did you know?” Alex asked, confused and feeling betrayed. He had kept a child from her? He had slept with this woman the night they had met. I guess it made sense, she was tall, blond and thin. It made sense that he would want her.

“Knew? Oh yes he did, I called him when he was on some trip in Africa and told him. I wanted to get rid of the baby but he convinced me to keep it. Now look at how much it wrecked my body,” Amilea continued with disgust.

“Alex, please let me explain,” Tony tried to explain but Alex just needed some air. 

The trip they had had together, Tony received the weird phone call during lunch and now it turns out he had found out and not told her. He had come back into her life, declared his undying love but still had not told her about his son. He had planned this wedding with her and gone on TV shows and claimed that she was his world but not told her this? How had he thought this would end? Did he really believe he could hide a child forever?

 Alex did not want to be here right now. She lifted her dress and ran out. She needed to think. She ran to her car that was packed outside and got in and started driving. She did not know where she was going but she just needed to get away from here. Their whole relationship was built on a lie. How could she even trust him after this? She kept driving and the tears kept on falling. Suddenly it started raining. The rain came down pouring and soon she could not see where she was going. All of a sudden she heard a loud bang and everything went dark.

***

“So I ran away from our wedding and ended up in an accident and a coma for a month?” Alex asked, looking at him. She did not know how to react to the fact that he was a father, to a child he had with another woman and had lied about it.

“Yes, i tried to follow you but i couldn't find you. They called me and told me you were here . I was  so afraid of losing you,” he said taking  her hand in his.

“Is this why everyone was all weird about telling me the memories i lost?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him. He just looked down at their hands and nodded.

“Why did you lie? About the child?” she asked, she needed to know.

“I felt if I told you I would lose you. We had already one through much and the thought of not having you in my life scared me. I wanted to tell you so many times but i couldn’t,” he said with a voice full of desperation. He knew he might lose her today by telling her but he would not repeat the same mistake twice. Secrets had gotten them here and he was done with all of them.

“Where is he now?”she asked, still unsure about whether or not she could forgive him for lying.

“He stays with me, although for the last month he has been staying with my mother because I spent all my time here. She brought him back yesterday,” he said with a glim in his eye, you could tell he loved his son.

“What is his name?”

“Alexander,” he said smiling at her and she just smiled at him. He had named him after her.

“Look Alex, I am sorry I lied and it will never happen again. Also, we are not really married yet, and i understand if this is not what you want. I will understand if you want to walk away. He is my son and you have no obligation,” he said looking at her with mixed emotions. 

She could tell he wanted her to stay but also did not want to pressure her. Suddenly she felt her chest tightening and her head pounding. She clutched at her chest and screamed in pain.

“Alex what's going on? Nurse!” Tony shouted trying to help her but did not know how.  The nurse rushed in and Alex was already on the floor seizing.

“She is seizing, page doctor Brown. Sir, step aside please,” the said shouted orders. The room was suddenly filled with people and he was ushered out. He looked through the window and watched the doctors try to save her life, again. He stood there and cried. What would he do if he lost her?

EPILOGUE

Alexander ran into his father’s arms and hugged him tightly. Kids do grow very fast. He was already one and he was all over the place. Tony smiled as he looked at his son’s little face. He spun his son around and laughed along with him. The last year had been hectic  but he had made it. He had put all his focus on work and his family and tried not to think about Alex and the past.

That day at the hospital Alex had suffered a massive seizure and the doctors had declared her brain dead. She was never coming back. Tony had waited for a miracle, but after three months of sitting by her bedside, he had let her go. He had removed her from life support and mourned her death. 

He would never forgive himself for the pain he had caused her. He would never forget the things he had put her through. But he was a father now and his son needed him. He had been lost in love and had lost his greatest love.

THE END.