Lost in Love

The Ice

CHAPTER SEVEN

Alex pushed her cart through the aisles of the supermarket and yawned. She was so tired. She had overworked herself in the last ten weeks. After they had returned from Africa, Tony had sent a car to drop her off at her loft. He had not called or texted since then. She must have really annoyed him with all her baggage. She has come home and done what she did best. She had worked, she had taken on pro bono work and drilled down on that. She did not want to spare even a second. She would not think about him. She had to move on. He had made it clear that he did not want her. 

She  walked through the aisles and picked some groceries. After she paid for them she reluctantly pushed the cart to her car. She started offloading the groceries into the trunk.

“Alex? Alexandrea Sanchez?” a high pitched voice called out from behind her. She turned to look at who it was who had recognized her in a*****e parking lot.

“Oh Ashley, hie,” she said trying to hide her annoyance when she recognised the tall blonde. The woman was pushing a stroller and dressed like one of those rich house wives with  a yellow dress, silver shoes and a string of pearls around her neck. Her golden hair was cascading in waves down her back and her make up was just right.

“It has been a while,” Ashley said in that bubbly voice.

“Yes it has been what? eight years,”Alex replied, trying to smile.

“Yes, how have you been?”

“Great actually. Is this your child?” Alex said, taking a look into the stroller. There was a beautiful baby with ribbons in her hair fast asleep.

“Yes it is, I am married now,” Ashley said, showing Alex the diamond ring that looked like it could sink a man to the bottom of the ocean.

“Oh wow nice,” she said looking at the ring.

“Thank you. Are you married?'' Alex knew what she had to say but the next thing she said came out of nowhere. She blamed the history between her and Ashley.

“Yes I am. We got married a couple months ago in Africa,” she said smiling. The hell?! Where did that come from?

“Oh great. Bring him to the reunion next week, we can meet him then,” Ashley said, still smiling.

“The reunion?” Alex was genuinely confused.

“Yes, the high school reunion silly, you sent your RSVP,” she said looking a little confused now.

“Oh yes, see you then.” Alex said dismissively. She did not want to be here anymore. Ashley seemed to get the hint and she smiled and walked away with her child. Alex swore under her breath, what had she done. She needed Nancy, now. She finished packing her things and got into the car. She dialed Nancy’s number and Nancy picked up almost immediately. 

“Hey girl,” she shouted. She had missed her best friend. They had not talked since Africa. Nancy worked for Tony so Alex had basically avoided her. She did not want to talk to her about him or to know how many women he was bringing by the office or why he had not called or texted in ten weeks. Right now however she needed her friend. She needed to spill it all out. It was becoming overwhelming. Her boss had been impressed by her work at first but now he had told her to slow down. She was sleeping in the office most days and surviving on junk food and now she had just lied that she was married. She needed to vent to her best friend before she lost it completely.

“Nancy, I need you. Can you come over later? Spend the night?” Alex said, tears threatening to fall. She had too much going on.

“Yes baby, see you in a couple hours,” Nancy said softly. She seemed to know when something was wrong with Alex.

By the time Nancy came by, Alex had taken a hot shower and was sitting comfortably on her couch in her favorite pajamas while watching cartoons. Nancy always said it was weird that she still watched cartoons, but she loved them. 

“Nancy you are here,” she said, turning off the TV and standing up to hug her friend.

“I am here, I brought ice cream, a lot of it,” she said hugging her friend back, genuinely happy to see her. They were like sisters, growing together in the foster home had really bonded them.

“Go and change, I will get the spoons, it's going to be a long night,” Alex said, already heading to the kitchen.

A few moments later they were sitting on the couch in their pajamas eating choc chip ice cream. 

“So tell me everything,” Nancy jumped right into it, she was never the patient type. Alex laughed and started telling her friend everything. She told Nancy how Tony had come to court to get her, bought her really nice clothes and flew her to the Serengeti on his private jet.

“You went on  that trip?” Nancy was shocked.

“Yes, you didn't know? You are his executive assistant, how dont you know?'' Alex asked laughing.

“And you didn't tell me?” Nancy basically screamed loudly with her hand over her heart.

“You will understand why when I finish telling you the story,” so Alex continued and told her how when they got there she almost drowned in the bathtub and he saved her. 

“And then…” she could not continue. She was already blushing at the thought of what happened next.

“What?!” Nancy did not like waiting.

“We made love,” she said smiling.

“What?!” Nancy shouted the word with surprise mixed with pride in her voice.

“Yes we did and it was amazing Nanc,”

“You had s*x for the first time and you didnt think to tell me right away?” 

“I'm sorry a lot happened after that,” Alex proceeded to tell Nancy of the tour of the safari in the helicopter. Nancy just sat there eyes wide open eating her ice cream. Then Alex told her about the lunch and how she had told Tony everything about her past.

“You told him everything? Including the…”

“Yes everything, including the murders,” Alex said, her face falling. She took a spoonful of ice cream and put it in her mouth remembering how everything had gone wrong after that.

“I shouldn't have though,”

“What do you mean?”

“Everything went south after that. He became distant. He worked  for the rest of the weekend. I cried myself to sleep, Nanc. The next morning we flew back early and he didn't even drive me home. He sent me home with the driver,” she said about crying.

“Oh, honey,” Nancy said scooching over to cuddle her friend. The tears just started falling.

“He hasn't called or texted since,” Alex said between sobbs.

“I am sorry honey,” that's all Nancy could say.

“Have you seen him lately?” Alex asked looking up at her friend.

“He has been in and out a lot. He has been working between Africa and Asia in the last weeks,” she said, trying not to sound like she was excusing his behavior.

“Guess who I saw today,'' Alex said, desperate to change the subject. She could not think about him right now.

“Who?” Nancy said with excitement.

“Ashley Grant,” Alex said laughing.

“The blonde b***h cheerleader from high school?” Nancy said, laughing.

“Yes and she reminded me that there is a reunion next week, did you know?”

“Yes we RSVPd,”

“She is married now with a baby,” Alex said, eating more ice cream.

“Really now, good for her,” Nancy said sarcastically. They really did not like that girl. She had made their life horrible in high school because they were foster kids and her father was rich. She had constantly belittled them and made then feel worthless.

“I told her i got married two months ago,”

“You did what?!” Nancy almost choked on her ice cream.

“It was just the heat of the moment you know how i don't want her to win,” Alex said innocently.

“Now she expects me to bring my husband to the reunion,”

“What are you going to do?” Nancy asked laughing now.

“Don't laugh. I need a plan,” Alex said trying to think of the best way to dig herself out of the whole she had recklessly tossed herself into.

“Find a husband girl,”

“Where ? I will just tell her he died or we got divorced,” they both burst out laughing. The rest of the evening went well. They caught up and ate the rest of the ice cream. Alex went to bed that night feeling like a load had been lifted off of her shoulders.

***

It was Wednesday and two more days left before the class reunion and Alex still did not have any idea where she would get a man to pose as her husband just so Ashley would not win. She could take someone from her workplace but none of them would do. Lawyers were weirdly uptight and boring. It was almost home time and she was finishing up on a file before she left when there was a knock at her door.

“Come in,” she said without even looking up.

“So this is where the magic happens?” she looked up so fast her ears rang. What was he doing here?

“Anthony,” she said with all the cool she could master. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She was both excited and angry to see him. Who did he think he was? Just waltzing into her life whenever it suited him. She looked up at him with a blank expression on her face.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you, we haven't talked much since Africa,”

“Much?”

“Well at all, and that is my fault. I am here to apologize,” he said sitting down across from her.

“No need. You had no obligation,” she really wanted to scream at him but decided to put on a brave front.

“Spoken like a true lawyer. I know i have no obligation but still, i felt l needed to,” he said smiling. She was not falling for that today.

“Alright then, apology accepted,” she said and made a show of getting back to work.

“Oh don't be like that Alex, go out with me, let me show you how sorry I am,” he said, lowering his voice an octave.

“No thank you, I believe you,” she said, still not looking at him.

“Alex please, i will do anything,” he said leaning in close to her. She could smell him, the scent of him mixed with his cologne was intoxicating.

“Anything?” she said looking up, smiling deviously.

“I feel like I am going to regret this,” he said, leaning back narrowing his eyes at her.

“If you don't want to take the risk it is fine,” she said looking down at her work again.

“No no, what do you want me to do?” he asked with a hint of doubt in his voice. She looked up and smiled at him.

“I want you to be my fake husband, for a high school reunion,” she said, maintaining eye contact. She knew this was a bad idea but she would be damned if she let that b***h Ashley win.

“I'm sorry what?” he asked quietly.

“You said anything, that's what I want, take it or leave it,” she said without breaking eye contact.

“If you want to marry me just propose Alex,” he said relaxing in his chair, with that smile on his face again. No she would not let him take this away from her.

“I want a fake husband for a night Tony, take it or leave it. Either way I go with a fake husband to that party, the question is will it be you or someone else?” she said her lawyer, negotiating instincts kicking in. She needed him to say yes, she had no one else. Besides he would be perfect for the job. He was handsome, charismatic and charming.

“Fine fine i will go with you. When is it?”

“Saturday night,” she said, feeling relieved for the first time since he sat down.

“Dress code?”

“Tuxedo obviously. Bring me your A game and you will have that dinner,” she said smiling at him. She was really enjoying having the upper hand this time.

“Alright, I will pick you up at eight,” he said getting up. He leaned in and without warning kissed her softly on the lips. For a moment she could not breathe, all the emotions she had tried to bury over the last few months came right back to the surface. She closed her eyes and kissed him back. He pulled away almost too quickly and smiled at her again before he walked out.

Saturday night came by finally. Alex had been unseasy since that kiss with Tony in her office. She wanted to see him again, to touch him, to kiss him again. She finished showering and started getting ready. She wore a long high-low, rose gold dress with a high sparkly waistline. It was sleeveless and had a low back that curved at the base of her spine. She decided to wear high silver heels that made her legs look long. 

She did not wear any jewelry except for a simple white gold necklace with a diamond pendant that she got from her mother before she died. Her hair was styled in a simple side fringe style that defined her cheekbones. She did not apply too much makeup, but decided to go for more natural tones. She looked at herself in the mirror, she was ready. She wished Nancy was here to help her calm down her nerves. Nancy was riding with her husband Jeff and they were going to meet at the school. She looked at the time, it was almost eight. 

She needed to calm down. She started to take in calming breaths but suddenly the doorbell rang. He was here. She went down stairs to open the door for him. He was wearing a black designer tux, with a white shirt and black bowtie. She always knew he was handsome but today he looked dashing. He was standing there with a bunch of long stemmed red roses smiling like a teenager.

“You look beautiful amore,” he said, offering her the flowers. She smiled back and took the flowers from him.

“Thank you, roses are my favorites,” she said and walked over to the kitchen and put the flowers in water.  

“Ready to go?” he asked, offering her his arm. She nodded and took the arm and they headed to the limousine he had come with.

“Going all out l see,” she said laughing and stepping into the luxurious car.

“I take dates seriously,” he said faking seriousness. They sat and soon were on their way. He poured her a glass of champagne and she took a sip of the smooth liquid.

“So husband, tell me a little about yourself,” she said looking at him.

“Well i was born and raised here in New York. I am an only child and my father died when I was twenty three, seven years ago. I am the CEO of my own company, Kathrine Anne Confessions, I like candy and I live alone,” he said smiling and taking a sip from his drink. 

They spent the rest of the drive talking about small things like childhood memories  and favorite primary school teachers. He made it easy for her to relax. She knew he was hiding something but she was not going to pry, not tonight. Tonight she would enjoy her borrowed husband and drink wine and pretend like she had all things figured it out. They finally arrived at her old high school and the driver opened the door for them.

“Wait, I have to give you something,” he said holding her back before she could leave the car.

“What?” she asked surprised.

“This,” he said, pulling out a ring from his pocket. It was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. It was princess cut, white gold, with diamonds everywhere. The bigger, centerpiece diamond was at least twenty carats.

“What is this,” she asked looking at it still surprised.

“You are my wife, you should wear a ring to show it,” he said, putting it on her finger. It fit perfectly. She smiled admiring the ring on her finger, he really did go all out.

“Lets go, Mrs. Mallon,” he said extending his hand. They left the car and walked to the gym where the party was. 

She walked into the gym feeling like she was floating on a cloud. The room was decorated and everyone was all dressed up. She recognised some people and smiled and waved.

“Alex you are here,” she turned to look at Ashley who had just snuck up on her again. 

“Hey Ashley, yes we are here,” Tony was still by her side holdin her hand.

“Is this your husband?”

“Yes this is Anthony Mallon, my husband, Tony, this is Ashley Grant, we attended high school together,” she said moving closer to Tony.

“Nice to meet you, Miss Grant,” he said, extending his hand to her, charming as always.

“Nice to meet you too and please call me Ashley. Are to the Anthoney Mallon of the Katherine Anne Confessions? The candy company?”

“That is  me,” he smiled again.

“Okay we have to mingle, nice to see you again Ashley,” Alex said, taking Tony with her. Ashley was giving him these weird looks, and she did not appreciate that. They mingled and talked to different groups of people, everyone seemed to be buying into the whole couple idea.

“Hey, Mr and Mrs Mallon, welcome,” Nancy said, walking up to them with Jeff. They all laughed. Alex had told Nancy about the whole Tony fake husband plan and she had obviously told her husband, since she found the idea enticing.

“Hello Nancy,”  Tony said with a smug smile.

“Hello boss,” she said smiling back.

“I need a drink, honey do you need anything,” Tony said looking at Alex. He was really getting into character.

“Yes , wine please,” she said smiling at him. She liked using him like this. He nodded and kissed her on the cheek before he left. 

The rest of the night went by without any drama. Ashley was hanging around them  more which was weird for everyone. Tony really went deep into the husband role. He touched her lightly, here and there, kissed  her and paid so much attention to her. When the slow music came on he even slow danced with her. She had the perfect night. He made it so hard to hate him.

“Ready to go,” Tony whispered in her ear about four hours later.

“Yes , I am so tired,” she whispered back at him. People were already starting to leave. Nancy had already left with Jeff to relieve the babysitter. Tony guided her through the crowd towards the door. They walked quietly to their car with his hand still on the small of her nacked back. She got into the car and he got in after her. 

“So what do you want to do for the rest of the night?” he asked, leaning in towards her.

“I don't know, maybe sleep?” she said pretending not to notice the heavy air that was suddenly around them. They drove in silence and finally arrived at her loft.

“Let me take you up the stairs, he said, leaving the car. They walked together in silence until they reached the elevators. It was past midnight so the elevator arrived quickly. They both walked in, still silent.

“I had fun tonight,” she said trying to break the ice that was building.

“As did l,” he said back in a low rugged voice. 

She turned to look at him and he was looking at her. The fire in his eyes was unmistakable. He wanted her and  she wanted him. Suddenly the distance between them seemed to disappear. He reached for her and their lips slammed together. She knew she shouldn't be doing this but all caution left the building the moment she asked him to be her fake husband. She wanted this, to feel him again. To hear him whisper her name while driving into her. She kissed him with such passion she could not believe it and he kissed her back just as hard. The elevator stopped and they walked out without letting go of each other. 

The urgency was obvious and neither wanted to waste any time. She quickly separated from him long enough for her to get her keys and unlock the door. He was still kissing her neck and her back. They stumbled into the house and she threw her bag on the ground. Clothes started to come off as they made their way to her bedroom. She could feel him roam all over her body and she wanted more. 

He threw her on the bed and was on top of her, ready to rock her world once again when suddenly logic dawned on her. What was she doing? This is the same guy who had made love to her and left her soon as things got real. She could not do this again. She needed to be with someone who would stay, who would commit and she was not sure he was it.

“Stop stop stop,” she said in a weak voice. Even as she said it she knew it was not going to end well. 

“What is it,” he asked, lifting his head from her body and looking at her with a confused expression on his face. 

“I can't do this, Tony. I'm not the type of girl to sleep around. I need romance, love commitment,” she said looking at him still on top of her. She could see his expression darken and when he moved from her she knew she had lost him. She got up and went and took her robe to cover herself. He took his pants and put them on.

“Alex, you are great but relationships are not my thing, i thought you understood this was just s*x” he said finally looking at her.

“Why? Am i so damaged that you want nothing to do with me?” she could feel the tears already building up.

“I just don't want a relationship, Alex,” he was getting emotional too.

“Tell me why!” she basically shouted.

“You are not my type, okay. I date blondes, models, beautiful women, this was just s*x Alex nothing more. Grow up and get over it” he shouted back at her. 

She felt her heart shatter into  a million pieces, it was finally out there in the open. He had said it, she had been just a warm body to him. He did not like her, he was just like the rest of the men who had broken her and humiliated her and told her she would never be good enough. Suddenly the party started to make sense. He had left her for that tall blonde and now she knew why. She let go of the tears and they came pouring like a flood. 

“Get out,’ she managed to say between sobs. She wanted to be alone.

“Alex..” he said calmly.

“Stop,” Alex said, turning away from Tony, who had been standing by the hospital window telling her this part of the story. Tony blinked a few times and looked at her, sitting in her  hospital bed with her face turned away from him.

“Alex… let me finish the story,” he almost pleaded.

“No , I think l have heard enough for today, you should go,” she said, still not looking at him. She was so hurt. This had happened a long time ago but it explained why he drew away from their kiss earlier. He did not think that she was beautiful enough for him, he didn't love her and did not want to commit. So how on earth had they gotten married? What had happened? If only she could remember. She wanted to know what happened after the night of the reunion but she couldn't stand it right now. She wanted to be alone. 

“Alex please listen to me,” Tony said, coming to stand next to the bed.

“No, just go, please,” she wanted to cry but she would not show it. Tony stood there quietly for a while before he finally left. Alex broke down and cried. How can loving someone you don't even remember hurt this badly? How can she be this lost in love?

***

Tony poured herself another glass of scotch and went to stand by the window. He looked outside at the view that usually gave him pleasure and found none. The clouds were rolling in and Tony looked at them and smiled humorlessly. He knew his doom was close. The next time he saw Alex the truth would come out and Alex would want nothing to do with him. 

He remembered the kiss at the hospital earlier. He had wanted her so badly. He had wanted to feel her skin against his, the soft touch of her hands on his body, but he could not do it. It was wrong to even touch her when she didn't remember, especially when she didn't know the truth. It broke his heart but he had had to pull away from her. The look on her face, the look of loss and betrayal had made him want to hug her and hold her and tell her everything was going to be fine but he could not, not yet. He had taken her to see the kids and it had cheered her up like he knew it would. 

It suddenly started to rain. They say rain happens to signify bad things and this was true for Tony right now. When he had left the hospital earlier he could feel the pain he had caused Alex. That night all those months ago when he had said all those things to her in her loft, he had almost seen her heart break but it had had to be done. He wasn't the marrying and love type, he had been hurt way too much. He also had a secret he did not know how to explain to her. He did not know how she would take it or if it was worth the risk.

Now Tony looked outside and wondered why ten months ago he had made all those decisions that had landed him here. He wondered if things would have been different if he had just told Alex the truth that night. He drank the rest of his drink in one go and turned to look at him. He was sleeping peacefully in his crib, close to the warm fire.