The First Time

Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

 They had stopped midway at a junction and that was undeniably going to be their parting point.

     Kelvin was stopped on his track by her genuine hurt outburst. He took time to look into her deep passionate eyes. It struck him with a great shock at his bereaved memory. The reality dawned on him. He began to recollect his memory back to that first Monday morning when he had sat by Chidera, about seven months ago. She was the same girl whom he had noticed burrowing through him with those helpless dovely-misty-starry eyes, “Oh my God!” he exclaimed within him. How she had changed rather an astonishing beauty. He could still remember; she was bright in complexion but now only glitters like a precious gem. No wonder, she could be able to peer through him keenly.

     Kelvin felt her pains. From the bottom of his heart, these had been the situations and moments he had been trying to avoid but surprisingly they kept coming back to him, making him helpless and weak.

     “Oh my dear,” he began. “Sincerely speaking, I had not the slightest knowledge that someone like you had been pining away in silence because of me. I had never meant to hurt you or any other person. I knew quite well how it hurts for one to be lovesick for his or her ideal character especially when the object of attention isn’t aware of it. I just wish... I mean... I wish I could also let you know…though you are right in your candid observations. You know it would be Herculean to please the fleet of females scouring for attention. This is not possible without hurting them all. In the end, I could end up hurting also myself. So I had felt that it would be better and quite sensible not to get committed to or with any one of them. Moreover, most of these girls are lustfully inclined and that is dangerous and conflicts much with my moral views. It is undeniable that there are good ones among them. I do enjoy their companies but I can’t bite more than I can chew,” he tried to be passionate in his plea for an understanding.

     “Well, it’s good to know how one’s object of attraction feels. I feel rather relieved now and I’m glad to have talked to you and heard you out. Some time ago, I had been quite shy to approach you. I was of the feeling that I would make a mess of an impression but now I feel warmed up,”

     “Good to know how you feel too. It takes dare courage to come to the open with your feelings at least it gives you more space in your heart and kisses away your pains,”

     “Thanks a lot…see you next to other time,” 

     “Excuse me please. May I know your name?” 

     “Oh, it’s Yvonne….Yvonne Iwuala,”

     “Your department again please?” 

     “Business Administration,”

     “Really? Where are you residing so that I can pay you a visit on a beautiful good day,” he knew he wouldn't fulfill this part of the conversation.

     “Well, I know you wouldn’t come but I’ll tell you anyway. Hollywood lodge, after the other first two by the right,” she said smiling and always smiling.

     “Well, I live at British lodge just behind the campus,” 

     “I already knew that,”

     “You already knew what? What else about me do you not know? And how come….?

    “Because I had cared to know and the rest saved for another moment,” she smiled once more.

     “That’s alright….enngh, you hadn’t told me why you should thank me in my stead,”

     “Oh no. Just forget about it. It doesn't really matter now," giggled softly covering her mouth with her palms.

     "Well, I don't think so because it matters to me,"

     "Ok, if you insist,"

     "I do,"

     "It’s about the artistic drawing you did for me,” she said with an air of excitement.

     “By Jove! When was that…I mean?”

     “Well, do you still remember about one naughty female student who grabbed at your book one certain time? She had to hide it under her dress and made you promise to help her with her drawing when you had vehemently refused to bid her wish?”

     “Oh my God, that wild girl…so that isn’t her work but yours?”

     “Yeah, she isn’t a wild girl at that but you made her act naughty by your rebuff; you probably hadn’t noticed the tears in her eyes then,”

     “But why didn’t you approach me in the first place,” he knew the question wasn’t necessary.

     “I was lovesick for you and scared stiff to let you know how I felt in my heart. But after you had done the drawings I felt encouraged to take an initiative,”

     The encounter was a revelation to Kelvin and the last he conversed with Yvonne. Kelvin never got to see much of her for the rest of the period nearing the end of the session. Whether she had continued with the pre-degree program or not, was what he could not fathom. A good number of students in the pre-degree program for one reason or the other discontinued the program with the rest. She was one among them. He wished he had seen her again.

     Kelvin had become a household name especially among the female folks as well as the male folks on campus. With these sudden sparks of interest on him, it took a bravery Chidera to accommodate. She could not stand the sight of him conversing gleefully and cheerfully with any other girl. The sight makes her sick with jealousy even though she put up a gallant effort not to betray her feelings. She was more hurt when his continued lack of interest in her persisted.

     Kelvin had become more and more inaccessible unlike before. It was these that hurt her feeling much more. When lectures are not on, he spends most of the day in the library. He hardly spends some time with her. It aches Kelvin’s heart to see her writhe in pain over his lack of attention, but he could not do anything else to help save the situation. Though he had sometimes tried to make himself available for her, they were not enough to satisfy her longings. She was expecting a gesture from him: that she belongs to him. He tried, however, his possible best to explain to her though indirectly of his total unavailability with time. He had repeatedly told her he was not primed for any emotional ties with anyone of the opposite s*x no matter what. Yet she could not understand why.

     In an effort to make him notice her more, it became a trend for her to come into the library. This was a rare sight for her. She comes to the library either to inform him where he could easily find her in case he decided to come looking for her; which he never did. On other occasions, she would come in only to lay her books on his reading desk for keeps and immediately took off to her friend’s hostel.

     She also made it a point of duty to tell him, whom she intends to visit and why. It does not matter if the visitor was a male student or a female one. He also gets privy on how many times an individual had paid her a visit; at what time and the reason why such had come. He had never solicited for all these. He never bothered to ask to stop or why.

     All these developments were only efforts on her part to win his heart over again. It was obvious to Kelvin she was feeling guilty about her past actions. She must have felt too bad by the way she had handled his first unscheduled visit to her lodge despite the rainy weather that evening. It was obvious too she had not been sincere by what she told him. She must have noted that the fallout of that visit had discouraged him. No doubt it possibly leads to the seeming lackluster of interest in her that had followed. This situation has made things uneasy for both of them.

     Now she wished she could turn back the hands of time.

She knew Kelvin too well. He never believed her over her earlier impression that she neither encourage male visitors nor be their host. He treated that with a pinch of salt even though he had no tangible reason to doubt her.

     On one certain day, it was on a Thursday, in a bid to wipe away that earlier poor impression, she implored him to take her to his lodge that afternoon. They were waiting for the biology practical lecture to commence in the laboratory. She had left her seat with Amanda and other friends and walked up to where he was sitting with his friends. Kelvin created a space for her to sit beside him. He always gives her special preference each time she wanted to sit with him. She had insisted on sitting by his right hand her favorite position. She picked up one of his books and was going through it aimlessly. She brought to his attention one of his drawings. It was a portrait he made of himself from the first passport picture he took for the first time on the campus. 

     "This looks like you," she pulled that piece of paper from the pages of the book she was holding.

     "Yes, that's me,"

     "You really captured yourself very well with pencil," she paid quite an attention to the penciled portrait, glancing from him to the image. 

     "Thanks" he brought out the passport photo from his wallet. "That's the picture I made it from,"

She collected it from him and spend another moment with both examing them in comparison. Then she later inserted the portraits back into the page of his books while handing him the passport picture back him. 

     "What are you guys arguing about?" she changed the discussion to what was trending. 

     "It is about rhesus factor blood group compatibility. We are arguing about the effects it has on men. Am a positive rhesus factor," he updated her. kelvin made effort to explain to her why the rhesus factor blood group compatibility is important especially during pregnancy. They had a few discussions bothering on blood grouping. However, it appeared a boring topic to her as she didn't quite understand it or was it the reason she had come to see him.

     He gave her his attention in spite of the heated debate going on among his friends. He did not see it coming and was not expecting it. He was in disbelieve and never took her seriously. He had thought that she was only trying to tease him up. The looks in her eyes betrayed no iota of doubt that she was not bluffing. That was when she made her request with those pleading eyes.

     "Take me to your house," was the word.

     "Was it not Chidera that was damned serious about her intolerance of male visitors vis-a-vis?" was the raging question in his mind. Who would have thought he would be thinking in that direction. Why cast doubt on her sincerity? Was he mocking her now with her words against her? That would be unfair, right?

     She must have felt hurt at the doubtful reaction her request had elicited from him. It would have been an opportunity that could have mended the rift between them. She has always wanted to know his place. Every male that wanted her had devised every means to make her pay them a visit but not Kelvin. Sadly, her earlier assertion that she does not visit or allow male visitors was her Achilles hill.

     Getting to know his place of residence would have created an air of greater opportunity. It would have eased off her fears and doubts. It was among other things the first step in the right direction. She must have wondered why every male student wanted her presence in their houses but Kelvin. Every other male student would give everything to see her in his lodge but Kelvin. She was if not the most beautiful girl on campus.

     Kelvin did not get to see it that way for some reason. First, he was still bitter with her for rejecting him when he visited her. Secondly, this is coming from someone who doesn't like unsolicited male visitors nor reciprocate the same. Though, it looks reasonable that she had informed him about it unlike what he did on the day of his visitation. Yet what difference does it make? She made her request at the wrong time, the same way he was wrong not informing her about his intended visit.