20. Ben
1783 Words
20. Ben
Carline’s POV
After Malakai’s visit we fell back into our routine with our pack duties. Me and Ella are heavily pregnant so we had to stop training fighters but kept our morning meditation classes and evening martial arts.
My second pregnancy has nothing to do with my first one. If it wasn’t for my swollen belly and feeling my pup moving inside I would’ve forgotten I was expecting. I had no morning sickness period, no mood swings or feeling too tired, maybe meditation helped a lot but I think it also has to do with the strong bond between me and Nate and also having Ella and Danny back.
Zane loved playing with my tummy and talking to his baby sister. He saw Nate do it once and he started doing it too. I feel so blissful that sometimes I even forget that a war is coming our way.
I am currently with Ella and we are leading our morning meditation class. Our class consisted mostly of she-wolves but we also had a few warriors who showed signs of aggression. Some of them were sent here against their will but some volunteered to participate because they wanted help to sync better with their wolves. Most aggression issues were caused because the human part couldn’t understand the wolf or the other way around and meditation helped them.
The two people who had no progress at all were Ben and Rob. Ella’s tormentors.
“We should just kick them out of the pack” I mindlinked her. This is not the first time I suggested this, even Nate and Danny wanted to but Ella was against it.
“I don’t know why but I feel that we will need them. There is something about them I don’t know how to explain. I used to hate them but my hatred is now replaced with care?” It sounded more like a question.
“If they don’t improve we will have to do something, though” I replied. Ella was observing them. I looked their way. Ben was grumpy as always and Rob was following his lead but his eyes didn’t hold the same anger.
“Maybe Lory could help us with her gift” Ella suggested
“Lory, come here, baby” Ella called her pup over
“He is a good wolf, mommy, he is just lost. He is scared.” Lory whispered to us
“Who are you talking about, baby?”
“About Ben. He is angry with the Goddess, he thinks she messed up his mating match. Rob pretends he doesn’t feel the bond. Ben felt it once but he was drunk and the next morning he didn’t remember. His anger doesn’t let him feel the bond. He is afraid the other warriors won’t take him seriously. He thinks that will make him less strong but the bond will make him stronger. Only you can help him, mommy” Lory said and I noticed her dark eyes were sparkling while she spoke.
“I don’t think he would accept my help, Lory. He hates me” Ella tried to explain to her pup
“He doesn't really hate you, but if you don’t help him he will be lost forever. Talk to him now” Lorelei said and ran away to play.
“Alright class, this is all for today, thank you for joining us. We will meet you tomorrow at the same time.” I said and stood up to leave
“Ben, you will stay for extra training,” Ella said, surprising me. “I will be fine, don’t worry. Leave us alone” she said, turning to me. I hesitated but what Lorelei said got me thinking. Maybe Ella will be able to help him.
Gabriella’s POV
Ben was shooting daggers at me and Rob was standing beside him protectively.
“Rob, you are dismissed” I told him without sparing him a glance
“NO” he growled at me and moved closer, standing almost nose to nose with me. I didn’t budge.
“Are you challenging my authority, Rob?” I asked calmly raising an eyebrow
“You will leave us alone or I will kill you and the pup you’re caring” he said growling lowly
“And why would I do that? No, the question is why would YOU do that? Why would you harm me and my unborn pup?”
“To protect Ben. We bullied you when you were smaller, now you are bullying us. You are humiliating us, warriors going to meditate. We are never going to be taken seriously after this. You ruined our lives” Rob said angrily but his eyes held another emotion I couldn’t quite decipher.
“You never wanted to be a warrior, Rob. I saw your files. You joined every training session but you never applied for a warrior. Ben did though. Are you doing this for Ben?” I asked and saw Ben’s eyes widen with my peripheral sight.
“It doesn’t matter. I would do anything for Ben, he has always had my back and I will have his”
“But if you hurt me you will be executed” I said matter-of-factly
“It doesn’t matter” Rob said confidently
“Leave” I said calmly but with command in my voice.
Rob tried to fight my command, his wolf was force shifting and it was obvious he was in a lot of pain. For a second I saw worry in Ben’s eyes but he covered it quickly. He came closer to us and put his hand on Rob’s shoulder. That immediately calmed his wolf and he retreated back in Rob’s mind.
“She’s not worth it Rob. Leave me with the bitch.” Ben told his friend and looked at me with the same hatred he always held for me.
Rob left us reluctantly.
“Sit” I told Ben and he did without saying anything. I took a deep breath in and sighed
“Ben, you have such great potential to be a lead warrior, why are you doing this? Why do you refuse to accept meditation and free yourself from this anger?” I asked him
“Correction. I HAD a good chance to be a lead warrior before you came. After you humiliated me no one will take me seriously”
“Ben, this is only the way you’re thinking. Not many look at this situation the way you do”
“Just say what you want. I don’t want to be friends with you”
“If you want to be a warrior you have to accept who you are. The reason meditation isn’t helping you is because you can’t allow yourself to be free. You are afraid of who you are.”
“Are you a shrink now?” he tried to sound irritated but his voice held sadness
“Ben,” I sighed. “There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. I know you might feel different but I promise you, a lot of people will support you”
“What the f**k are you talking about? I am a warrior, I am not different except being stronger than some” He stood up, and hit the wall leaving a hole in it.
“Please calm down and sit” I said calmly
“No, I am done talking” he said and turned to leave
“But I am not. SIT” I ordered
“Okay” I sigh. “Let’s make a blood oath that whatever is said between us in this conversation stays between us until you decide to share it. It is your choice but we are not leaving this room until I decide that this conversation is over and that you’re honest with me. I can command you all day long. It’s up to you”
“I don’t need your blood oath, I don’t want your blood mixing with mine. Talk, and let’s get this over with”
“Alright, I won’t beat around the bush anymore.” I took a deep breath in. “Ben, you are gay and it’s time to man up and accept who you are. Accept your mate and be the warrior you dream to be.”
“Are you f*****g insane? Who the f**k do you think you are?”
“Still denying?”
“I am not gay”
“Have you ever been with a she-wolf, Ben?”
“Why? Are you offering?” he smirked and licked his lips
“Stop playing games, we both know you can’t get hard for me”
“Yeah, because you are ugly. I can have any woman I want. I just have other priorities.” he crossed his arms in front of his chest
“Like denying your mate?” I shot back
“I don’t have a mate” this time I saw confusion in his eyes
“You do but your denial prevents you from feeling the bond. What does your wolf say? Ask him”
“I…” he stuttered and sighed “I can’t talk to my wolf, he isn’t talking to me” he looked down
“Since when?”
“A little after I turned 18. I basically don’t know him, we don’t talk even when we are shifted I am in control” he hung his head defeated
“Listen, Ben, your mate is Rob. He knows it but he is staying close to you as your friend because he knows he would lose you if he tells you the truth.”
“What do you mean? Rob has always been my friend”
“Just think about it, has he ever initiated any of the s**t you have done? And how many times did he take the blame to save your ass?”
“That's what friends do, It’s a guy's thing. You wouldn’t understand”
“Have you ever done the same for him? Has any of your other friends done that for you?” He was deep in thought and was about to answer but couldn't form the words. “What do you think of his reaction when I told you to stay?”
“I.. uh… Ok so Rob has feelings for me, that doesn’t make ME gay”
“No, but are you? If you don’t want to accept him then reject him. It isn’t fair to keep him near you like this.”
“I can’t reject a mate that isn’t mine”
He was about to reply but we heard screams outside in the woods.
- Writer
