CURSED 1

NOT GONNA BE EASY

***DEVIN’S P.O.V***

Ignoring her is just not an easy task, not even for a bit, and I know that I have seen it. It’s not easy to ignore her in any way, but I tried to do that.

I was just making my way to my class when Myra came in front of me. “Oh my god Devin, sorry, the great great Devin is here, by the way, can I know what you are doing here?”

She asked in a filthy way. I looked at her with a smirk and then said

“So what is the problem is no one giving tension so that the poor baby comes to me.”

“ attention from here that is name is something that I want. The only thing that I want is that you stay away from my sister. Okay, did you get that very well? I don’t want you to be around her in any of the ways she has already gotten to a lot of stuff because of you now no more.”

Still, every single thing that she is saying is absolutely a joke that she has gone through a lot of stuff because of me and I just, I also don’t want her to go to any of those things and I will make sure that I will stay away from her as much as possible. I am not going to be in her way of happiness.

“You don’t have to worry about that because I don’t have any interest in a sister and I don’t think that you should tell your sister what she is coming to me, and what you are going to do.”

“You know that is the benefit that we have right now and she just doesn’t remember anything and I don’t think that she does even know who you are and there is nothing to be worried about and one more thing. I don’t want her to know anything, that whatever you both had, a lover, whatever you both had that love and all, what you did definitely saved her life, but because of you she went through that.”

That is rude. She doesn’t remember anything and that’s a very very good thing, because I also wonder why you don’t remember anything and you don’t know me. It causes so much pain. This is what I want and I do have to stick to it, because if I lose myself in any of the way, then I am going to hurt her. I should not forget why I am here.

I am here just for my father and as soon as I know who their real first is, and hold at that I am going to go away from this place and never going to come back and her life and that is the best thing that I can do for her

“Don’t worry about that, Myra, do rest assured I am not gonna do that. I know that you are worried about her, but this time, don’t be. I don’t have time for her by any means.”

“I don’t know, Chris, but you have done the stuff in a way that no one would have done, but still just let it be. I am just telling you this because I want you not to come close to her.”

I looked at her with a smile and then said “ don’t worry, even if she also comes saying that she loves me and wants to be with me. I will not let that happen. I will just make sure that she will be away from me as much as possible and don’t worry because she is not gonna be in any trouble because of me.” I said that and as I was favouring going to go, going, she asked

“Devin, I just want to ask you something. I mean, I don’t care whether it is true or not, but by any means do you still love her feelings? Do you have any feelings for her?”

Any feelings for her? Yes, I know it and every single time whether I deny it or not. Even in my every breath she is with me, but I just cannot see that. I wish that I could just go in front of our understand that I can. I told her that I was very, very happy to see her again and I wanted her back in my life, to be used to being used to her life, but I just could not have my life again.

“No I don’t and one thing is for sure, that now I don’t want her in my life, I don’t want any more dramas because the I have had a lot of them since she came into my life. There have been thousands of times and this has happened to me and I am not prepared for any of them now. Now are you okay with it or do you have any more questions or any more and, then, assure you, if that is, then we can just go to a cafe or someplace where we can set up so that you can ask me whatever you want to do for them.”

I love you Penelope and I am gonna do that. I am going to love you for the rest of my life. I am just going to do that. I am sorry if by any means I hurt you, but in this thing it’s gonna happen.

Then, after talking to Myra, I made my way to class and sat in front of Penelope. After class, I immediately went to the car to leave when I heard my name.

“Devin listen.” I stopped on my way as I heard her voice. The hell is it? Why is she here? Myra said that she didn’t remember anything. If that’s the case, then what is she doing here and she should not be here?

Wait, what if someone sees her with me and just misconstrues that we are together again no no as soon as possible, I have to make her leave.

I looked at her as if I just didn’t have any emotions in me and even if I had, then it’s just not for her and it will never be for her.

“Thank you so much Devin. Thank you so much for being there for me. I mean, I never thought that it would be possible but you just did that. Thank you for saving me.”

Out of the blue she just hugged me and then made her way to me. She was hugging me tightly. I just don’t know what else to do and what else. Not to do so, I have to be calm and composed. I just can’t panic right now. I have to relax.

I didn’t hug her back as she said that she was extremely happy that I was back. It just made me feel like saying that yes, I am also happy that I am back in her life, but I just can’t do that. I just can’t by any of the means.

. Now I just know that it’s just not possible. I can’t let her come close to me.

In a while, she pulled back from the hug and then looked at me with such emotion in her eyes that would say that she didn’t remember anything the same way she used to look at me. She is looking right now.

“What happened Devin, are you not happy to see me?” I have to be rude if I let it be like I am not rude and I am happy with her presence. Then the dynamics will change. I do have to act that way. I just have to do that. You can do this. Devin. It ’s for her good only.

“Why is it that I am supposed to be happy to see you? Is there something special in you that I don’t know?” I was rude. I was very rude. I just said that she is no one to me and not the one at whom I would smile while looking. I just want to slap myself for doing this, but I do have to do this.

“It’s okay. Maybe you are angry with me, but I am happy that you are back.” I could see the pain in her eyes that she didn’t think that anything like this would come and out of the blue it just happened. I am sorry Penelope, but I have to do this. I don't have any other option. I wish that I had any other option, but I just don’t have any other option.

I want to be with you, but being with you will kill you.

“Excuse me Penelope, let me be very clear to you that I just don’t care about anything at all. The only thing that I care about is just this, that we had nothing in between now, 8 months ago. It was all over.”

It hurts to hear that it was all over eight months ago what had happened that let that happen.

“But why is this so and what is the scene in this and what is just the cause of it? I mean you saved me and then you just left? Why.”

I asked him I didn’t. . I know why he is showing this cold behaviour to me because I just don’t get that, but I know one thing, that it hurts to have it all like that. I am standing here asking him questions and he is just acting like I am bothering him. I am not doing that. I want to know the truth.

“Why are you bothering me by telling me you didn't have any work 8 months ago? I clearly told you that I am not in love with you. After that, also what you want to know more about.”

“Devin, okay cool, I just accept that you don’t love me, but I do have a question for you. If you don’t love me and you don’t care about me, then why do you save me just because you would just let me die?”

I asked him because I just don’t believe that you don’t love me. Deep down in my heart it is not leaving that he can’t love me, because I am just keeping on thinking that it can’t just happen that you can’t love me. I can see that in his eyes and I just don’t know why, because I don’t remember anything, but I just have this feeling that whatever he is saying today it’s a lie.

“What is your problem? I know that you have lost your memory, so if you want pity for me, if you want that, then okay cool, I have pity for you. I have a very very am actually very sad for you, but that can not change the thing that I don’t love you and I can never change and go and have a life and leave myself alone.”

He told me in a harsh tone, I am not scared of it and I don’t care about that.

“What are you doing there in that freezing cold water and why did you put me inside? I just don’t understand that. How can I be a human being inside it if it was not possible for them?”

I said it because I just wanted to know the truth. I just know that there is definitely something that I don’t know. Maybe my family also don’t know about it. It is not That half of the truth.

“What is your problem? What do you want? Just tell me clearly, do you want something for me cause let me tell my thing that I don’t have anything to offer to you and I was not there I was at my home I just came here yesterday I am I supposed to be anywhere else?.”

Hi, don’t leave when I saw that I had his hand and then I told him in a very steady voice.

“ You know that I am not lying. It is you who is lying. You don’t have to think about it like how I am going to react or what is it that I’m going to think we had something eight months ago and if a person can die for that person eight months ago, then there is definitely something between them which has more than just a physical attraction and for that sake. I’m asking you what is it that you are hiding from me?”

Just say it. Just tell me why you did that. I know that there is something that you are not telling me, but please just do what I want you.

How the hell can this happen when I have just met a guy and I want to be with him so?

“Look just because you ask him continuously, then here’s the answer. Definitely we had something and we had that stuff for people called it. Then I realised that it was not for you. It’s not that I want you in my life, I want, I want you to be a part of my life. I know it might sound hard, but I have parted my ways from you. That’s why I didn’t even go to the hospital. What would you think if I had even a bit of love for you? I would not have come to see you even once after that happened to you, because I don’t care. I guess I saved you because I would have done that for everyone who would have been there.”

Tears started to flow from my eyes because just hearing about it that he didn’t love me gave me a heart attack. I don’t know how this happened, but it just happened by looking into his eyes. I just know that he loves me, but here he is doing this in denial of my devil.

“ but everyone but that you love me a lot. Then what is it I have like this? What you are saying if it is right and what everyone else is saying, bye, that’s not right, everyone else that you had love in your eyes for me have you denying it right now. What is the thing are you afraid of? That something might happen to me if I came close to you?”

I came close to her and then said it all, looking into her eyes without even blinking. That is just the trust I don’t want her. I have to make her believe this. The more she will believe, the more she is going to go away from me.

“No, I am scared that if I contact my name with you, then you will to my name because I let my heart give to an good orphanage partner. I can say that you are not an orphanage girl. Not if you are a whale of a family, then I don’t think that you need me because you’re all such a selfish bitch.”

I just said something to her which I will never say, Penelope. I am sorry for hurting you so much, but I just have this way to take you away from me, because the love that you have for you will never go away from me and you will never leave me alone if I say this to you.

I have to choose to take another way to take you away from me. I am sorry for doing this, but I am also helpless.

“ How could you call me because you know this very well, that I am not like that, but you are still saying this. I just don’t get it and what is the problem with me? I just ask you a very simple question and this is how you are insulting me.”

I laughed at it as she said that I do love her and I do feel for her and I am lying. She knows me very well. She does that.

Who will say that she doesn’t remember anything? She can still read my eyes. She knows this very well, that I am still in love with her and that I am always going to be in love with her?

But the thing that’s not gonna change is this, that it. It’s not fare at all. Not at all. This is just not fair at all. I know one thing, that whatever happened or what happened was not in the right way. It should not have happened in that way by any of the means.

“A simple question, maybe I have been saying this to you for so long that I am not in love with you. What we heard is gone now and I don’t have anything for you, but here you are standing and making me see you a lot of cute stuff because you are someone who wanted to know a lot of things. Don’t put all the blame on me and don’t start this thing with your tears. I’m playing this victim card when he talks to me like this and that edit that I’m not afraid of tears. I’m not afraid of showing my latest advice to you. Just stay away from me, you’ll be very, very happy. The more you will come close to me. Most will cry.”

She said the truth. She is right. That I am the one who is going to go to her with tears in my eyes that I did this or this happened or that happened. Yes, I am the one and I do accept that, but at the same time, the only thing that is in my head now is that her love can cause an amount of pain to her that she can never even imagine for a time.

I was looking into her eyes. I know it, Penelope, that now you are blaming yourself for it all, but don’t do that. You have a. Pure heart, whatever you do or what you do is just perfect, you just need to relax a bit and then things will be sorted by just being away from me.

“Cool, if you want it this way, then let us just have it this way. We will only do it this way. Only if you want it like this to look like I am not scared of you nor anything, but now I am telling you that, Mr.Devin, even if you come to me, I will accept it.”

She wiped her tears as I laughed, and knew that people wanted a better version of herself who doesn’t need me at all, who doesn’t need this thing. That should happen or this should not.

I want you to just move on, even if it is with someone else. I just want that for you. I don’t care about any of the stuff, I just don’t care. I just want to know who did that. That’s it.

Going away from you is the best that I can, just do for you, even if you are not able to realise it right now, but that’s the best.

“Like I do care about it, right I don’t care about it, in any way, or the way you got it. Let me tell you one thing: that I will never go to a bimbo like you, which is just like the other one that is not to my taste.”

She was still crying when, in anger, she wiped her tears and then said," I am sorry, Penelope, for causing so much pain. You don’t deserve that at all. You are just very strong and I do want that for you from the bottom of my heart.

“So you are saying that you were just close to me or the love that you have for me was just because I was an orphanage for you, seriously great. Then I am sorry that I disappointed you. I am extremely sorry. Then, for sure, I can’t be. You should go for someone else who needs your charity love because I don’t need that.”

I just took a dig at a thing that had been very close to her heart, her being an orphanage. I don’t know whether she remembers this or not, but these things are surely gonna affect her and surely gonna pull her away from me. This is the best I could have said I love her. We just have this love. It is not enough. We do need more stuff.

And that is protecting. I can’t protect her from my world. My enemies will kill her the moment they learn about it; not just my enemies, but also the ones whom I belong to. They will also kill her, as this is just not how nature should be balanced.

Without saying that she had just made her way out of the parking car, I was just standing there, vulnerable got Myra to her sister. She looked at me with anger and then said “What the hell do you think that you were doing? You think that you were doing the right thing. She just left crying, said what did you said say?”

“That should not be your concern, as I said that we will not be together and I will make sure that it happens. I am doing that. I only know that maybe you must be feeling that I am wrong in some way around, but I feel not important to her. She kept saying" I Love her.”

Yes, it is true that I love her, but this thing is just in my heart and this thing can just never come out. This thing is never going to be. That is just absolutely clear and I know that pretty well.

“So, because of that, you are gonna use this way of hurting her so much, are you for real?”

“Yes I am and this is my way. If you have some other way, then just go and do that. I won’t mind, but this is how I am going to do the stuff that I like to do if you get that.”

“Cool, I get that, but for how long will you be able to do that? I mean you can’t act like this forever. You do need to have something that’s just more pleasing and more convincing which will make her give on with someone else.”

Just thinking about how she is with someone else just makes me feel like it is going to happen. It is important the sooner she moves on with someone else. It’s better.

Her memories can’t come back, because if that happens, then everything is just gonna get destroyed. Her life, her happiness, everything is just gonna get destroyed and that is not what I would let happen.

She saw her own death with her own eyes. It was so close to her, they were so close to killing her that at any moment they would have killed her if they had gotten the chance.

“Hey mister, what are you thinking look I know that you don’t want to hurt her, but you don’t have any way and I do accept it, but it’s not just something that’s gonna last forever, so I think that you should think about dating someone else, someone that would make her jealous like her did you get that.”

Dating someone else really and she thinks that by doing that she is gonna hate me and is going to go away from me. It’s Penelope. She knows very well that I am hiding something and is not gonna let it go too easily.

“Are you insane? You are telling me this high school thing which I just completely don’t believe at all. This is not gonna work. We are not kids.”

“Stupid, it’s not a lot being a kid. It's about sharing. Would you like to share her with someone else? No, you were right to do that to make her feel that you meant what you said. She is dead to you.”

She can never die for me, just never, but Myra is right. If I prove this to her, then she can’t deny that I have changed and I am not the one she thinks that I am. I don’t have any other option at all, not even a bit.

I just know one thing pretty well, that things are just gonna be good and things are going to change. They are gonna get fixed. I know that I just don’t know anything else, but just this.

“Look, I am telling you that this is the best idea. Just do this acting for a while and, in the mean while, I will make sure that she will hate you as much as possible. I will make sure that it happens, but your only job is to make sure that she is in pain and she is jealous if you got that.”

“Cool, I will do that, but not for long. I want her to move on as soon as possible and, as you said, do that, make sure that it just happens at any cost if you get that.”

I said it, I just have no way or no idea how it is gonna be or how it’s gonna supposed to be, but now we are just doing this at all the cost that I can do. I have to do this. I know how delicate she is, but this is very important.

“Cool, so the deal is made so that our goal is to make sure that she will choose someone who is actually worth it to her and who is going to take care of her and, just not the one who is gonna be like you, a scumbag.”

I looked at her fiercely. “OK cool, not a scum bag, but you are still ditching. You had that relationship with her and now you are just like there was nothing, so just because I said this, that you are a douche.”

“Cool, I don’t want to fight with you over the words, as you said. I do agree with you, so I accept it and I agree with you and one more thing, I want to let you know that I don’t want this cry baby stuff and then you change your head.”

She smirked and then folded her hands close to her chest.

“You don’t have to worry about that stuff that’s not gonna happen, okay, so just relax and one more thing that I wanted to say is that it’s not something that I also want. I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to stick to someone who wants to push her away”.

It hits, but it is true. That is what I am doing and I should

Not doing this, but I am also unfortunate about this. The more close I bring her, the more pain she will get from lots of people.

“You are right. She doesn’t deserve someone like me, not even a bit. She just doesn’t deserve that at all by any of the means. She doesn’t deserve that.”

She said and then I looked at her. I know that I need her right now. I want this. Myra is now gonna be the one who is gonna make sure that she will stay away from me.

“By the way, Devin, why are you doing this? I mean you both used to love each other, then what happened and even after saving her you never came to see her? Why was it so?”

I wanted to go to see her. I wanted to know how she is but I just couldn’t understand that curse. I was bound by that curse, but now I am freed from that curse. Now nothing is there. That’s all the cause of her r.

“Cause I just realise that it’s good for her and me both that we will stay away because people attacked her because she was close to me, so it’s just gonna be better if she stays away from me. It’s gonna be the best.”

I said it and then I made my way to the car. I had a big day, a lot of drama and just a lot of stuff, but the only stuff that’s not gonna change is just this, only that it is all like that.

Everything is just gonna be how it should be and that is, that’s clear, that’s just absolutely clear.

She is important to me and, because of that, her safety is important. I want to see you happy Penelope, even if it is with someone else. I am ready to do that. I just don’t have any problem with that. I don’t want you to die because you loved me.

And then the one whom I trusted had just broken it and just took you from me. I will take my revenge on her for what she did To you.

TO BE CONTINUED...