Uncontrollably Falling For You

Chapter 12

School would be starting up again in about a week, and I wasn't happy about it. It was Sunday, and since we wouldn't be able to soon, we planned on going over to Brody's for the night. As far as I knew everybody would be there, kind of as a goodbye to summer vacation. The only ones not feeling that way were Felix and Brody... I was so jealous. I was also jealous of my sister and Rhett for going into twelveth grade.

I was nervous for how the night would go. I still hadn't broken up with Olive- and it was going to be the first party I'd been to with Evie and Felix at. I knew she would be on the look out for us talking to each other.. She was getting more pissed as the days went on. I'd told her we weren't seeing each other anymore, but she still insisted on me breaking up with Olive. I was going to... but I admit it, I was being a p***y. I didn't know how to let her go. I'd been friends with her since sixth grade- I wasn't ready to say goodbye..

I stared ahead at the light strings hung around my neighbor's deck railings. They were outside drinking, so I guessed they didn't have work the next day. I took a drag of my cigarette, glad it was cloudy out to shield me from the sun. Every day that passed I found myself getting more antsy for fall.. I only hoped it would come quicker than the year before.

Tatia, my neighbor's daughter who was about the same age as Brody, walked out into the yard. She had a cigarette between her fingers, her long hair up in a pony tail. She turned and spotted me, a smile spreading over her face as she waved. I waved back and took a final drag of my cigarette before flicking it into the fire pit. I didn't want them to think I was staring at them when I was just lost in space. I stood up and walked back inside. It was around six in the evening, and I wasn't sure what time we were leaving. My mom sat at our bar table, a salad made up on a plate in front of her.

"You off work tonight?" I asked her before opening the fridge to look for something quick to eat.

"Yup.. I go in tomorrow morning at eight. Gonna be hard falling asleep, but oh well," she sighed. "I have off the following day... don't have to back until Wednesday night!" I cast her a grin and pulled out some fruit smoothie type drink. "You guys going to Brody's tonight?" she asked, always seeming to overhear our conversations.

"Uh, yeah. Since school starts soon..," I explained with a shrug. She nodded, grinning back at me.

"Yes, it does! God, I can't believe Jay is gonna graduate...," she sighed, shaking her head. "Makes me feel old as f**k!" she laughed.

"You're not old, Mom!" I protested.

"Just wait til you reach my age, Li... you won't be saying that then!" She grinned, taking a bite of her salad.

"Maybe so.. but- not gonna get to that age for, what? Ten years?" I smirked at her. She rolled her eyes.

"Heey, now," she snorted. "You're not getting any points from me sayin' that bullshit!" I couldn't help but laugh before heading up the stairs. I glanced over to see the door to Jay's bedroom was open.

"Hey!" I heard her hiss. I narrowed my eyes and leaned against the door frame. She was sitting in an armchair she had in her room, staring in my direction.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Come in and shut the door, please," she ordered. My brow furrowed but I did as asked before taking a seat on the edge of her bed.

"What?" I repeated, twisting my drink open. She sighed and leaned back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling. She was being weird.

"I...," she began, dragging the word out. "Did something... stupid.. at the graduation party," she admitted. Well, you're not the only one. I snorted with laughter.

"Oh, yeah?" I asked. "Like what?" I took a sip of my drink. I was immediately intrigued.

"I slept with Brody...," she spat quickly. I widened my eyes, staring at her.

"I take it you don't mean the sleep where you close your eyes and dream?" I mused. She snorted, a sheepish smile falling on her face.

"No! Not that kind!" she laughed. "Like, the naughty kind of sleep."

"How did that happen?" I asked. "Hey, and didn't I f*****g tell you he liked you!" I growled.

"Yes, you did." She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. "But anyways.... Lexie is gonna be there tonight," she groaned.

"So he's still with Lexie?" I asked, a bit surprised. I couldn't really judge, due to some considerable circumstances...

"Yeah, unfortunately," she sighed. "Things have been rough between the two of them.. I don't even really know why. He won't tell me. He just keeps saying she's not herself lately. So I'm kinda surprised she's gonna be there tonight, but whatever." She looked at me, sadness in her eyes.

"s**t, man," I breathed. "Do you want him to leave her?" I asked.

"Well, duh, dude!" she snorted, staring at me incredulously. "I've wanted to fuckin' be with him for so long, you know that!" She shook her head. "It's just... I dunno.." She fiddled her hands together, and I noticed her biting onto the bar of her lip labret stud. "He says that he likes me so much or whatever.. yet he doesn't wanna leave her for me... I don't get it," she grumbled. "When we're alone- talkin' and s**t. He always makes me feel like maybe he will leave her. Call her after I leave or some s**t and just do it... He makes me feel special... like I'm something worth having... but then." She shook her head, her eye brows furrowing. "He's still with her." Listening to her speak, I was hit with the bitter realization that how Jayla felt was probably how Felix was feeling because of me. It caused my chest to ache, and guilt to flow through me.

"I'm sure things are complicated," I said carefully, trying not to let my unease show. "I-I mean, that doesn't make it okay for him to be with her... but, give it some time. I'm sure he'll decide to do it soon."

"Yeah, but what if he doesn't?" she snapped. "What if he makes his decision- but it's to stay with her?" she asked, scowling at me. I shrugged my shoulders. "God, that would make me feel just fuckin' great." She snorted with laughter. "If he chose to be with that f*****g cunt over me...," she trailed off, shaking her head again.

"Yeah.. that would definitely suck. I don't know, Jay.. Something tells me he's gonna leave her. I think it's just a matter of time," I tried to say brightly, but who was I to know that? She simply nodded and stood up.

"You ready to go?" she asked. "I need a drink." I laughed and nodded, taking another sip of my drink.

"Yeah, I just need to put pants on," I told her before standing as well. I was wearing some shitty old shorts I only wore around the house. I made my way into my room and searched through my clothing on the floor. Eventually I found a pair of black pants that I changed into. I decided that was fine and walked back to meet Jayla. We then swiftly made our exit and headed off to get drunk and forget about our problems.

>

I was correct with my assumption that everybody was there. Even Lexie was there. She looked like she was in a relatively good mood, which made it hard for me to feel angry with her. It wasn't her fault Brody wouldn't leave her..

"Mark, let's go get a drink!" Jayla instructed happily once we both had said hi to everyone downstairs. I nodded and followed my sister upstairs to the kitchen. We were greeted by Rhett and Lillian sitting at the kitchen table, smoking a cigarette. "Hey!" Jay greeted them happily.

"What's up guys?" Rhett asked, immediately smiling. Lillian had a pipe sitting in front of her, which she was packing fresh s**t in.

"Lookin' for some s**t to drink," I replied as I made my way over to the counter to see what liquor was available. I immediately spotted Kraken and couldn't help but smile to myself. I grabbed a cup and began pouring myself some.

"Can you believe we're gonna be seniors soon?" Lillian suddenly asked happily. I cast her a scowl and she shrugged. "Sorry, Mark!" she laughed.

"I'm so fuckin' glad!" Jayla breathed. She had settled with some vodka, of course. I took a sip of my drink and debated going back downstairs. Olive and Evie were down there... and I knew Evie's eyes would be on me like a f*****g hawk. "Can I get a hit of that?" Jayla asked as Lil took a hit from her pipe. She nodded, holding the smoke in her lungs for a while before blowing it out. She passed the pipe over to my sister, who set her cup down on the table. I glanced at the time to see it was seven thirty at night already. I wasn't sure where the time had gone.

I hesitantly began venturing back downstairs, fully aware of what was to greet me. I walked downstairs, feeling kind of tense, and turned the corner to make my way to the couch. Brody, Lexie, and Felix were all sitting together. I decided, though probably against my best interest, to sit next to Felix. He turned his head and smiled at me quickly before going back to attentively listening to Brody talk. They were talking about their plan to move out together again.

"I don't think a job at McDonalds is gonna be enough to move into your own apartment," Lexie said glumly. Brody shrugged his shoulder.

"Yeah, I know.. That's why we were gonna move out together, though," he reminded her. She nodded, taking a small sip of her drink. She seemed more subdued than usual- almost like she was on some kind of sedative. As long as she was content and not being a b***h, I didn't care.

"Where did you guys wanna move?" I asked, taking a sip of my rum. I'd never really asked before.

"Oh, you know.. Ann Street," Felix snickered like the smart ass he was. Brody burst out laughing and I shook my head.

"That where you grew up?" I retorted. "With your people?"

"My people?" he snorted. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know...," I mocked.

"Mark is offending me!" he whined, though there was a small smirk on his face.

"Come on, Mark, stop upsetting our token friend!" Brody chimed in.

"Oh my god, you guys are awful," Lexie laughed, shaking her head. I smiled over at Felix, fully aware of the fluttering feeling I got in my stomach. His wavy hair was falling forward in his face slightly, and he'd recently dyed it green. I thought the green complimented his skin tone, as strange as that sounded. I could have never pulled it off. Red was definitely my color. I wanted to tell him I liked it, but I didn't want to risk the chance of sounding a bit too cozy with him.

"I know, aren't they so mean to me?" he continued to play with it. I glanced down as I felt his knee touch mine, my heart nearly skipping a beat. I cleared my throat and fluently, as to not make it look obvious, I scooted a little farther away. He didn't act like he took notice, but I'm sure he did.

After a little while of sitting there, chatting, the couple decided to go up for a refill of their drinks. Once they were gone, Felix glanced over at Olive and Evie. They were still sitting in the corner, playing some sort of card game with each other. His eyes then focused back on me and he leaned closer.

"Lexie is on something...," he murmured under his breath. My eyes narrowed, recollecting what I'd thought earlier.

"Really? How do you know?" I asked.

"Um, hello!" He held his arms out, exposing his scars. "I know how people look when they're shooting smack. Not to say she's high on it now, but she definitely has been doing it.. Not to mention, she's wearing a long sleeved shirt in the middle of August...," he explained, taking a sip of his drink. I nodded, feeling lost in thought. He was right. "I dunno, maybe she's in recovery or something.." He shrugged a shoulder.

"Yeah... Jayla said they've been having some trouble lately that Brody won't tell her about," I muttered. He nodded.

"Yeah, won't tell me either." A vacant look went over his eyes as he shook his head slowly. "Sucks. But what can you do?" He took another sip of his drink.

"Nothing..," I sighed.

"Exactly!" He stood up. "Gonna go get more to drink. You need any?" He asked. I glanced down at my cup, hesitating, before nodding and handing it up to him. "Be right back." He cast me a sly smile before walking towards the stairs. I watched him go and sighed, realizing my wandering eyes were becoming worse the more I drank.

I suddenly felt weight beside me and looked to see Evie sitting there, Olive heading for the stairs as well. What the hell was everybody doing up there, anyways? She stared at me, her hazel eyes cold.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked, her voice just as cold as her eyes. I shook my head, my brow furrowing.

"Nothing," I retorted defensively. "What does that even mean?"

"I thought you weren't seeing him anymore," she hissed.

"I'm not," I growled quietly. "I'm f*****g friends with him!" I rolled my eyes, annoyed with the situation. But then again, it was all my fault.

"Something tells me, by the way you keep looking at him, that you're not telling me the truth," she spat before standing. "You better watch yourself."

"Yeah, thanks for the advice, mom," I snorted bitterly, watching as she walked upstairs. I groaned to myself before pulling out a cigarette from my pack. I didn't understand why she had to be such a b***h. I regretted ever telling her the truth. I heard footsteps coming from the stairway, and when I looked, Jayla was rushing down them, a cup in her hand.

"Hey!" She smiled and plopped down next to me. "What's up?" I raised an eye brow.

"Nothing, what do you mean?" I questioned, hoping my emotions weren't so open on my face. She shook her head, smiling, before taking a large sip of her drink. "You trying to get f****d up?" I snickered. She nodded quickly.

"Hell, yeah, dude! This s**t is almost too much," she complained. I lit my cigarette and nodded, completely understanding how she felt. It didn't take long for Felix to return with drinks for both of us. He'd gotten himself a beer and refilled my cup a bit.

"Awww!" Jayla cooed as he handed me my cup and took a seat on the other side of me. "How cute!" she snorted before laughing.

"I know, right?" he snickered and I was thankful Evie hadn't been around for the joke. I took a large sip of my rum, feeling on the same page as Jayla about getting f****d up. The sooner the better. Unfortunately it didn't take long for Evie and Olive to return. They made their way back to the table in the corner to play their game.

"Hey, guys!" Jayla barked. "Aren't we good enough for you?" she laughed, though they didn't look amused. I scowled in their direction, unsure of what the issue was. I took a sip of my drink, peering over at Felix briefly to see he was staring at the floor, an amused grin on his face. "Why is Evie being such a b***h?" she asked me quietly.

"I can hear you, Jayla!" she snapped. The three of us exchanged glances, confused by her annoyance.

"You know what, Evie!" Jayla growled, and my heart sunk. "I don't give a s**t that you can hear me! Quit being a f*****g cunt!" she snapped over her shoulder.

"I'm fine, Jayla!" Evie growled back. "We're just playing a f*****g game over here!" I was unsure if anything had been said upstairs or not to start the quarrel, but I was taken aback. Of course I knew why Evie was annoyed... but Olive was giving me the cold shoulder as well, which was making me suspicious.

"Yeah, anti-social dickheads!" Jayla huffed. Felix stifled laughter on the back of his hand.

"Hey!" Olive spoke up. "I didn't do anything to you! What's your problem?" she asked. With that, Jayla turned in her seat to face them. I found myself practically chugging my drink, beginning to feel f****d up already. "Mark, can you tell your sister to leave me alone?" My eyes widened at that.

"What's my problem?" she echoed. "Hm, jee, well when you come upstairs and immediately start talking s**t on my brother for some dumb ass reason, that doesn't really sit well with me! Are you really surprised, though?" she snarled. I was taken aback by the hostility. Felix and I exchanged glances, though he looked totally amused.

"Talking s**t?" I interrupted before anybody could speak. "Wait, what?" I glanced over at Olive, whose eyes shifted to the floor.

"We weren't talking s**t!" Evie laughed. "We were telling the truth! Mark's been f*****g weird lately!" she snapped, her eyes darting to glance at Felix for a split second as she spoke. I glared at both of them, shaking my head.

"Can everybody just shut the f**k up?" Felix suddenly rose his voice, turning his head to scowl at Olive and Evie as well. Evie's cold eyes fell on him once more, and I was taken aback by the fury behind them.

"No!" Jayla snapped. "I'll shut up when they stop being fuckin' petty bitches! The f**k outta here!" She turned in her seat. I faced forward as well, though I could hear them muttering stuff to each other.

"It's fine, Jay...," I said quietly.

"Li, I thought she was your best friend..." She stared at me, annoyance clear on her face. I nodded with a sigh. "As much as I hate to admit it.." She nodded to Felix. "He's been a better friend to you lately than that cunt." If only she knew...

Since I'd told Evie the truth, her attitude towards me had definitely gotten bad. It's like she forgot about how we'd been friends since second grade, and decided to take sides with somebody she's only really known since high school. It irritated me, but I couldn't say much about it since I didn't want her to tell everybody my secret. I was beginning to wonder if she was hinting towards something to Olive, though.

I looked over to see everybody else filing down the stairs and relief washed over me. Brody glanced around, and I immediately knew he could feel the tension. Lillian took a seat next to my raging sister, passing her pipe to her, while the others sat on the remainder of the sectional. I took a sip of my drink, wondering why my girlfriend and supposed best friend were even there...

"Take a shot with me!" Jayla demanded, her voice sounding ten times happier than a minute earlier. I raised an eyebrow, grinning over at her, and nodding. We tapped our cups together and took large swigs. My stomach warmed from the alcohol, and my world was already spinning. I could already tell I was heading towards being wrecked.

>

I opened my eyes and blinked against the light of day. I could immediately recognize the feeling of my head pounding with my pulse and I groaned, running my hands over my sweaty face. I felt terrible, and I hadn't even sat up yet. As I continued to get a grip on my surroundings, I realized I wasn't asleep in Brody's extra bedroom... I was at home in my own bed. When had that happened?

"You were a f*****g mess last night." I jumped slightly at Felix's voice. He was here? I lifted my head, a rush of dizziness hitting me, to look over at him. He was laying beside me on his back, an arm resting behind his head. It didn't take me much longer to realize neither of us were dressed.

"Felix?" I croaked, my voice extremely hoarse. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"You really don't remember?" He smirked and let out a small laugh. I shook my head, immediately regretting my decision as it made my world spin even worse. Nausea soon followed. I let my heavy head rest back down and took a deep breath in. "Mark, you were shitfaced. So I drove you home."

"Why didn't Jayla drive me?" I asked.

"She stayed at Brody's," he explained. "She wasn't comfortable driving, but I was only a little buzzed, so I took you." There was a smile seemingly stuck on his face, and I was beginning to feel embarrassed. I paused and thought about what to say next. Before I had a chance to say anything, a wave of nausea hit me like a truck. I shakily got out of bed and made my way to the door. I was going to vomit; I didn't have time to put clothes on. I fell into my door as I opened it and stumbled into the hallway. I held my hand over my d**k in case somebody was home, and rushed into the bathroom. I leaned over the toilet and vomited violently into it. Not much came out, so I was guessing I had been sick the night before as well.

After a few heaves and some vile, brown liquid coming up, I flushed the toilet. I rinsed my mouth out and walked quickly back to my room, realizing I'd left my door wide open. I shut it behind me and stumbled back to bed. I laid down, covering my junk despite the sweat forming on my skin and sighed. "f**k," I breathed. Felix looked quite amused by all of it. "Um.. so... did weeee..."

"What?" he asked, raising his eye brows.

"You know..." I didn't want to say it, but it looked like he was going to make me.

"Did we what? Knit?" he asked, c*****g his head to the side before continuing. "Bake a cake? Put a puzzle together? Play tag?" He had a sly smile on his face, and if I weren't feeling so sick I would have been amused.

"Did we fuck...?" I whispered reluctantly. He began snickering and shook his head.

"No," he replied. Relief immediately washed over me.

"Oh," I breathed. "Why are we both naked, then?" I pressed on, suspicious.

"Oh, trust me, dude. You wanted me to f**k you. But- I have morals. And the first time we do it isn't going to be when you're blacked out." There was a glint in his eye that I couldn't quite put my finger on. "You sure were insistent, though." He grinned. "It would have been cute if you had been coherent." Jesus Christ...

"I'm so sorry." I turned my head, placing a hand over my flushing cheek. How humiliating! I hardly ever got f****d up to the point of blacking out!

"It's fine. I'm just happy I'm the one who ended up with you at the end of the night." he snickered again and rolled over so he was facing me. I looked to see he was still grinning, clearly quite pleased with himself. "It's pretty obvious who you prefer to spend your time with," he whispered, and I knew he was referring to himself over Olive. It was true, though, especially last night. I couldn't deny it. I rolled my eyes slightly.

"You should have known you would end up with me from the moment she started being a f*****g b***h," I muttered. "so... did I do anything stupid last night?" I dared to ask. He shrugged and then shook his head.

"No, not really. Other than you begging me for my quote unquote 'big ol d**k inside your tiny little ass.' You were saying all sorts of interesting things." I stifled a gasp as he continued. "'Oh, Felix, please f**k me. I want you so bad! I want to know what it feels like to have you inside of me.'"

"Did I really say that?" I asked, mortified. He laughed loudly and nodded.

"Yeah, well.. you did, but it was a little less audible. You were slurring a lot. But no, really. You just said stupid s**t. You didn't do anything. We didn't f**k or fool around. We kissed a little, and you took off your clothes. You wanted me to do the same, very insistent let me tell you... so who was I to crush your little wishes?" He pinched my cheek playfully as he spoke and laughed.

I shook my head and sighed deeply once more. He suddenly scooted a little closer and let his cool hand rest on my back. His fingers lightly traced over my skin. How did things get so out of hand last night? I couldn't remember a thing past having a shot with Jayla and Brody...

"Oh!" he suddenly exclaimed. "That's right... your neighbor, the one our age, was out last night when we got back. She saw us together, but it's no big deal." He waved his hand dismissively. My eyes widened.

"What?" I groaned. "God dammit..." I rubbed my eyes.

"She really didn't care... She's a pretty cool girl, though." He shrugged with a smile. Now I was going to feel awkward every time I saw her. It was bad enough being that drunk, but being caught with my secret lover was even worse! "So...," Felix suddenly began. My eyes flickered to rest on his handsome face. My stomach twisted and I wasn't sure it it was from being nervous or from the sickening hangover I had. "My offer from last night still stands...," he whispered somewhat seductively. My eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"God, you don't remember anything?" he groaned. "What a bummer."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I grumbled, giving into temptation enough to allow my forehead to rest on his bare chest. "You're gonna stay here for a while, right?" I asked.

"Yeah... especially if you want me to," he replied softly. I nodded slowly, trying not to move my head too much. I swallowed and let out a small burp that left me feeling like I could have vomited again. I moved away from him and laid on my back.

"God dammit, I feel so f*****g terrible...," I murmured, rubbing my eyes.

"Did you want me to go get you some water?" he asked. "Jay isn't back yet. It's only ten, so I doubt she'll be back anytime soon."

"Would you?" I asked. My mouth was so dry, and the thought of water sounded great. He nodded before carefully moving over me to get out of bed. I tried not to look at his exposed lower end as he got dressed into his boxers and a shirt, but my eyes couldn't help but wander a bit. Once he was gone, I attempted to sit up. My stomach felt ridiculously uneasy, especially with sitting up. I swallowed, aware of the feeling of nausea quickly returning. I rolled my eyes to myself and slowly stood, putting my boxers on this time, and heading to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and locked it. I then went and took a seat on the floor in front of the toilet. It was so hot... f**k summer for being so hot!

I was in there for what felt like forever before I finally vomited what I was hoping were the last contents in my stomach. I stood up and took a step over to the sink to rinse my mouth out again. My stomach felt empty and tight, but the nausea had ceased for the time being. I knew there was a thin window of time that you had to go back to sleep before it came again. I slowly walked back towards my room. When I entered, Felix was sitting on the edge of my bed, staring out my window. His head turned to look in my direction and he cast me a sympathetic smile.

I sat down beside him and grabbed the glass of water he'd placed on my nightstand. I tried not to drink too much at once, but I was so thirsty. I settled for half the cup before setting it back down.

"I think I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette," he told me. I nodded, forcing a small grin.

"Alright. I'm gonna lay down some more." I sighed. He snickered, scooting over to kiss the top of my head. It caused my stomach to warm. "Are you not tired anymore?" I asked.

"No, I am..," he said. "I just need to smoke."

"Alright.. I was gonna say, if you can't sleep, you can play one of my games or something.. or go home." I shrugged.

"I don't wanna go home yet," he sighed before standing. "So maybe I will take you up on the offer to play if I don't fall back to sleep." He moved to put his pants on. I nodded before laying down, this time closer to the wall. Once he was out of the room I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I couldn't deny I was glad he was there with me. He seemed to care about me.. and the way Olive had been acting the night before, I wondered why the hell I was even holding on anymore.