The Fall of Martin Orchard

Chapter 1: Egypt: February 2019

I pulled myself together and got up to a sitting position in my hospital bed. The exertion almost made me vomit, but I had made up my mind: I couldn’t stay in this filthy hospital any longer. It was the 3rd of February, and I had already been here for three days since my ill-fated excursion to the Cheops Pyramid. The two first days in the hospital had been alright. Those days I was unconscious and thus unaware of my surroundings. But on the third day, I woke up and I had realised what a filthy and depressing place I was in. I needed to get out, walk in a park and inhale some fresh air. It was February and winter in Egypt, so my goal was within reach, only a few hundred meters away.

As I got up, Dr Abdulrami, the same doctor who had dismissed my story the day before, approached me. “Mr Orchard. Why are you getting up?

 “I need to get out of here, this place is making me feel sick!” I replied

 “But you shouldn’t leave the hospital already. You were unconscious for two days.” Dr Abdulrami objected.

 “That might be. But that staying in this filthy hospital won’t do wonders for my health either. I will seek further medical attention when I reach Sweden. My flight departs tomorrow. “I said and held back some vomit.

 “Very well, Mr Orchard. I cannot hold you here against your will. Make sure to settle your bill before you move out!” Dr Abdulrami replied dismissively and walked off.

I walked up to the counter and settled my hospital bill. It was a substantial bill, but fortunately, I had travel insurance, courtesy of Elaine’s anxiety. Speaking of the devil, she must be worried sick about me. Because except for a short email on my first night, I hadn’t spoken to her for four days.

I turned on my phone, and as it turned out, I had 32 missed calls and messages from her. While I was happy that she worried it was also a bit draining. I was weak from my ordeal, and the last thing I wanted was to spend my mental energy reassuring her. I checked Google for a beautiful park in the neighbourhood, and I settled for the short walk to the Al-Azhar park.

***

An hour later, I was drinking plenty of water while enjoying the cool breeze in the shade under a tree. The view was beautiful, and I felt a deep sense of relief from not being in that filthy hospital any longer. I stared at the tattoo on my arm. It was full of alien symbols that made up a three-dimensional holographic map floating over my arm. I couldn’t understand why no-one else seemed to notice my tattoo.

I realised that my mind was playing tricks on me. I had experienced three-dimensional pictures from two-dimensional patterns in the past. This was when I ingested magic mushrooms and other psychoactive substances many years earlier. But this time, things were different. Everything looked normal, and it was only my tattoo that stood out.

I woke up from my thoughts when the phone called. It was Elaine:

“Martin?” Elaine said.

 “Yes, Elaine” I replied.

 “Why haven’t you picked up your phone? Your parents and I have been worried sick about you!” Elaine exclaimed.

 “I got severe food poisoning and ended up in a hospital. But I feel better now, and I will travel to Sweden tomorrow as planned.” I replied

 “Don’t lie to me, Martin!” Elaine replied.

I felt irritated but decided to defuse the situation. “Login to my net banking and check my credit card statement. “I replied with a tired voice.

 “Okay!” Elaine replied, and some silence occurred. Eventually, she spoke again. “A $12,000 hospital bill. What happened to you?”

 “I fell unconscious, and I couldn’t pick a cheaper option. Lucky, I got travel insurance this time.” I replied.

 “I told you Egypt was a bad place to go!” Elaine exclaimed.

 “Well, I guess you were right this time. But I got to go, I am starving, and this time I will go to a five-star restaurant to be safe.” I said.

 “Okay. Take care, Martin. I love you. “Elaine said.

 “I love you too, Boss.” I said and hung up the phone.

I looked at the phone and reflected on our conversation. I hadn’t told Elaine the truth. I hadn’t told her how I had travelled to another dimension and ended up having a lengthy discussion with extra-terrestrial deities. Or was the reality that I had a severe case of food poisoning, and I had imagined everything that happened in the pyramid? I wasn’t sure anymore. I checked my phone for nearby five-star hotels to choose my dinner place. Eventually I settled for Four Seasons.

***

An hour later, I was sitting at the fabulous restaurant in the Four Seasons hotel. Usually, I was too frugal to frequent places like this, but I was celebrating that my travel insurance would cover most of my hospital bill. At least my finances wouldn’t suffer as much as my mind and body did from this holiday. You got to celebrate the small wins in life. As I was trying to enjoy the Egyptian tasting platter, claimed to be the best in Cairo, I noticed something interesting. A gorgeous blonde woman accompanied by a plain-looking Jewish man. She looked like she was trying to hook-up with the man sitting at the next table, who was also there with his wife. Both partners seemed oblivious to what was going on.

Was the Four Seasons Hotel Cairo’s premier swingers’ venue, or was my head, not right? No matter what, I felt compelled to know how this would turn out. The gorgeous blonde got up and made her way to the toilet. Shortly afterwards her fling also got up heading the same way. This was it! I got up and observed the man. As I had anticipated, the two lovebirds met up outside the toilets. They looked around cautiously before the two of them entered the men’s room. I still got great intuition!

But I wanted more concrete evidence. Perhaps the couple were spies exchanging information? I headed to the neighbouring toilet, leaned my ear to the wall. From the noises, I could confirm that the two of them participated in a session of banging 101. I smiled. This would be a great scenario for my next book.

I got back to my table, paid my bill, and headed for my hotel. One more night in Cairo before I was bound for Sweden to visit my dear old parents for a couple of weeks.

***

The next day I was sitting at a bar at Cairo International Airport. My plane wasn’t due in several hours, and I reckoned that I might as well taste the two local Egyptian beer varieties: Stella and Saqqara. They tasted like any other beer, but at least I got the social media posts of me drinking the local beer varieties. This would be the highlight during this Egypt holiday.

A few beers in, I saw a familiar face. The gorgeous blonde woman I had seen at Four Seasons the previous evening. She looked at me and smiled seductively. Ouch, this was awkward. I panicked with a mix of fear and anticipation as she approached me. Without even knowing her name, I desired her more than I had ever wanted anyone.

“Are you feeling lonely?” The blonde woman said as she approached me.

 “I was, but not anymore, “I replied and tried to stop myself from blushing. I felt like I was close to a stroke, my blood pressure had risen to an extreme level around this blonde bombshell. I felt the urge to relieve the stress by f*****g her brains out!

 “Do you believe in destiny?” the woman asked.

 “I am not sure,” I replied.

 “I do. Destiny made us meet here. We are two wayward souls, whose paths crossed briefly never to meet again. “The woman said

 “So, what is happening next?” I asked.

 The woman turned her eyes to the cleaner’s closet and whispered into my ear. “I want you to f**k me. Hard, raw and furiously.”

I thought of objecting. It was madness. Who was this woman who I had witnessed f*****g another man yesterday behind her cuckolded husband’s back? I didn’t even know her name, and god knows what diseases she might be carrying. I thought of Elaine, she was a good woman, I shouldn’t do this towards her. A shock of pain struck my head, and I heard a faint dark voice. “You need to release, or you’ll die. Follow her. “It was madness. I needed medical attention, not s*x, yet I couldn’t withhold my desire anymore.

I followed the blonde woman to the closet. Inside the closet, we had a short stint of the most amazing furious s*x I have ever experienced. As I came, the immense pressure inside my head, disappeared, and I felt normal again.

“Well, that was fun!” The woman said and smirked at me.

 I didn’t have the energy to reply, as the s*x had drained me. I nodded and let out a pleasurable sigh.

“Last call for Mr John Himes and Mrs Ellen Himes to Cape Town. Please proceed to gate 18 immediately!” I heard the PA system announce.

“Well, that’s my flight. Thanks for the amazing s*x. Mr?” Ellen said.

 “Orchard. Martin Orchard” I replied, uncertain of why I used that old James Bond cliché.

 “Very well, Marvin, have a good flight,” Ellen said, smiled and rushed off.

I got out of the closet, and I followed Ellen from a distance. She met her husband outside gate 18, and they had a brief argument before they rushed onto their flight.

***

A few hours later, I was sitting on a flight to Sweden to meet my parents. What a strange holiday this had been. First travelling to another dimension and meeting up with ancient deities, telling me to find Keila Eisenstein. And then waking up in a hospital bed with a blue, glowing three-dimensional tattoo? And finally, I had finished off the holiday having a brief impromptu affair with this Ellen woman. How was it all connected?

Ellen’s face and our short tryst were etched into the back of my head. But I would keep quiet. After all, how would my life turn out if I admitted cheating on my wife and I brought up my meeting with the gods? I could see the scenario in my mind. I would end up being homeless and alone, screaming incoherent nonsense to people passing by.

I convinced myself that the events in Egypt were caused by the severe food poisoning that I was hospitalised for. I had never met up with any deities, and I hadn’t had s*x with Ellen? Surely, life would be better if that was the truth? I leaned back into my seat and fell asleep.