Neighborly

Middle School Confessions

I didn’t get home until close to nine. Jared and I left the office around six. We met his husband at PJ’s for a delicious steak dinner. I could always count on those two to lift my mood. They were probably two of the funniest people I’d ever met. After dinner, I said my goodbyes and headed to the grocery store. I didn’t want to go but I had already put it off for almost a week. My pantry was down to nothing but crackers and Ramen. I was unloading my groceries when I heard a garage door open. I looked over towards Grady’s house. His garage door was now open and I could hear a radio blasting nineties country music. George Strait will forever be a favorite of mine. That’s when I remembered that I had never opened his text message. Once I got the groceries put up, I pulled out my phone and opened my messages.

Grady Markham: I’m sorry again. There’s something about you that gets me carried away.

I stared at my phone, not knowing how I felt about his text. How was I supposed to respond to that? I had hated him for as long as I could remember. I always thought the feeling was mutual as well, so having him in my face flirting with me and putting his hands on me was really throwing me off. So, I did what I always do and deflected with sarcasm and humor. I quickly texted him back.

Me: I’m pretty sure you just can’t handle your alcohol.

I set my phone down on the counter. I was about to walk away to get the laundry started when my phone dinged to let me know there was a new message.

Grady Markham: I can handle my alcohol just fine. Care for a drink?

Me: Didn’t we agree that you would leave me alone unless it was wedding related?

Grady Markham: No. You got scared and lied to Marni.

Me: I was far from scared.

Grady Markham: Then why not tell her the truth?

Me: What was the truth?

Grady Markham: That you got upset because you wanted me just as bad as I wanted you and I called you on it.

Me: I got upset because you were drunk.

Grady Markham: Fine. Let me come over and talk. Without the alcohol.

Me: Why can’t you just leave me alone?

Grady Markham: I wish I could. But I can’t seem to get that image of you in your pj’s and your cute little cow slippers out of my head.

I didn’t respond. I put my phone down and headed to the laundry room. I had nothing else to say to him. This was bad. He was engaged. And what was the purpose of him telling me that anyway? Was he just trying to see how far he could get me to go? Was he purposely trying to get me to fall for him just for some sick fun? I was lost in thought sorting out clothes when I heard my doorbell ring. I sighed and contemplated just turning all my lights off and completely ignoring him. But I knew that he would just keep ringing the bell. I checked myself in the hallway mirror before I opened the door. I had my hair piled up on top of my head in a messy bun before I went to the grocery store. I still had my makeup on but my eyeliner was smudged around the corners of my eyes. I didn’t bother fixing it. I had changed clothes when I went in the laundry room, throwing on an old homecoming t-shirt from high school and a teal pair of velour pajama shorts. I don’t know why I did it but right before I opened the door, I slid off my flip flops and shoved my feet in my cow slippers. When I opened the door, Grady looked me over, smiling when he saw the slippers on my feet.

“I don’t believe I invited you over here. "

“Well, lucky for you, I’m not a vampire. I don’t have to wait to be invited in.” Grady pushed past me and walked into my living room, plopping himself down on my couch.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Hanging out. Talking. No alcohol involved.” He patted the seat next to him on the couch. I walked over to the chair next to the couch and sat down. Grady scowled at me but didn’t say anything.

“Let me ask you this one more time. What do you think you’re doing?”

He looked at me with a confused look on his face.

“Obviously, I’m missing something. What are you talking about?”

“This. You. That text. What are you doing? Are you just trying to see how far you can get me to go so you can tell everyone I did something stupid and tried to sleep with you?”

He was picking at a spot on his jeans instead of looking at me. I sat there watching him while he continued to pick a string. The black t-shirt he was wearing looked like it was a size too small for his muscles. My mouth was suddenly watering watching the fabric strain around his arm muscles as he moved.

“Does that mean you want to sleep with me?”

“No.” I rolled my eyes. He finally looked up and his green eyes met mine. I felt like I was completely naked under his gaze. It made me very uncomfortable. I cleared my throat as I shifted in the chair, trying to calm my speeding pulse.

“I don’t know why you think I would do something like that just to mess with you.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” I mumbled, more to myself than to him. I broke eye contact and started looking around the room trying to find anything else to focus on.

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, so you conveniently don’t remember?”

“Remember what, Molly?”

“The summer before ninth grade,” I sighed. That summer was one of the worst summers of my life. And it had been all his fault. Not only had he ruined my summer, but he also moved after school started, so he wasn’t even around to fix the damage he had done. “You cornered me one day when we were all fishing at Lem’s pond. You apologized for being so mean to me and asked if we could be friends. I told you I didn’t want to be your friend and you asked to take me for burgers at the diner to just sit and talk. You promised you’d be nice to me. I agreed to go. I was so excited, thinking that you’d finally decided to ease up on me and thought that maybe we really could go back to being friends. I fixed my hair and put on make-up. I don’t know why, but I wanted to look nice for you. When I got there, you were already sitting at a table. As I walked up to the table, Shelley walked up and sat down next to you, kissing you on the cheek. That’s when you both laughed at me and my dress. And humiliated me in front of everyone in the diner, because what was I thinking? Why would someone like you want to go out with someone like me?”

Grady stared at me with a blank look on his face. His hand was still working at the string on his face, but he was focused on me. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He waited a few more minutes before he broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, Molly.”

“Shelley never stopped. Even after you left. Every time she saw me talking to a guy she liked, she’d bring it up and accuse me of trying to steal another one of her boyfriends. All kinds of rumors were spread about me. Lots of guys only talked to me because they got the impression that I was easy. I was a f*****g virgin until college.” I glared at him, now pissed at the memories that were starting to bubble up.

“I never knew I -”

“No, you didn’t. And you wouldn’t have cared even if you had known. I don’t know what I ever did to you to make you treat me the way you did but you f*****g ruined me. I felt like s**t about myself for the longest time. And it was all because of you. Why couldn’t you just be nice to me?”

“Molly, I was nice to you.”

“If that’s what you call nice, I hate to see what your definition of mean is.”

“Molly,” he ran his hands down his face. “I did the s**t I did because I was flirting with you. You were so different from Shelley and those other girls. They really were easy. And I didn’t think my tricks with them would work with you because you were so much smarter than them. You intimidated the f**k out of me.”

“So you thought being an asshole would work?”

“I wasn’t trying to be an asshole. I just didn’t know how to handle you. It started with just harmless pranks. And then when you started fighting back, I don’t know how to explain it. I liked it. Like REALLY liked it. Especially your smart mouth. God. You remember when we would start arguing and I would just suddenly run off?”

“Yeah, because you were never really good at holding your own in an argument.”

“Wrong,” he chuckled to himself. “You would cut me down with your words and I would get so turned on I’d be hard as a f*****g rock. I was so scared that you would see that I would just jump up and run off to take care of it.”

My jaw dropped. I watched as a blush crept up his neck and his cheeks. He grinned but he wouldn’t look up and meet my eyes. What in the hell was happening? Had I bumped my head? Was I dreaming right now? Had I been sucked into a parallel universe? I started laughing and quickly covered my mouth with my hand to keep him from hearing.

“You’re laughing at me?”

“I would never.” I lied as I burst out into a fit of giggles.

Grady bit his bottom lip as his face turned even more red. Seeing his lip slip between his teeth made my stomach flip. It finally settled in my brain what he was actually telling me.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”“I was scared shitless of you.”

“Why?”

“Because you were so smart and seemed so much more mature than everyone else back then. I didn’t want you to laugh at me like you’re doing right now.”

It was my turn to bite my lip. I was trying so hard to stop giggling. The way he was looking at me and blushing was making that hard to do.

“I wouldn’t have laughed at you.”

“No?”

“Nope. But it’s a little late to be telling me all of this now.”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “I guess it is.”

“So why bother?”

“Because I tried to keep it to myself. I tried to just pretend that seeing you now didn’t give me those same feelings. And Marni saved us both for a little bit.”

“Marni? How?”

He met my eyes and grinned. Only this time the grin was more sinister. The look in his eyes was darker. He looked like he was about to devour me.

“I had every intention of coming in here, turning you over my knee, and spanking you for cutting that cord. But Marni was here so I gave you the receipt instead.”

He ran his hands down his thighs as he stared at me, waiting for my reaction. My brain was getting fuzzy. I couldn’t concentrate. I could feel myself getting wet hearing him talking about spanking me.

“Honestly, it was all I could do not to bend you over my knee today at lunch.”

I stared at him wide-eyed.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “I absolutely would have. If I knew that I would be able to keep you from killing me in my sleep later.”

I threw my head back and laughed.

“That’s a beautiful sound.” I looked up and saw him walking towards me. Before I could say anything, he was standing over me. He had one arm on either side of the chair and his face was inches from mine.

“Tell me to stop and I will.” He moved closer to me so that I could feel his breath against my lips. I licked my lips as I glanced down at his. His lips were full and pink between his mustache and his beard. I couldn’t make sentences form in my brain. All I could think about was wanting him to kiss me but knowing that I shouldn’t let him. He brushed past my face so that his lips were close to my ear. I felt a hand on my thigh. The sensation of his rough hand on my smooth thigh made my blood hum in my ears. I could feel my heart beating in my c**t again. “Molly, tell me you don’t want me to do this. Tell me you don’t want me to touch you.”

“What if I don’t want you to stop?” I bit my lip when his eyes met mine. I saw his eyes cut down to my lips and back up to mine. A low growl escaped him as he tightened his grip on my thigh. He stared at me for another half a second before his lips crashed into mine. It wasn’t a smooth kiss. It wasn’t sensual. It was hungry and needy. And it set my brain on fire. His hand slid up from my thigh to my waist. His thumb was rubbing under the hem of my shirt. Between the kiss and the feeling of his skin against mine, I was having a hard time catching my breath. He moved from my lips to my neck, kissing eagerly down to my collar bone.

“f**k, you taste so good.” He mumbled into my neck. My hands were on the back of his neck, sliding down to his shoulders. The combination of the feeling of his muscles bulging under my hands and his voice in my ear had me squirming in my chair. I could feel myself getting wetter.

“You haven’t even tasted the sweetest spot.” I gasped at myself and covered my face with my hands. I couldn’t believe that I’d said that out loud. I heard Grady chuckle as he pulled my hands away from my face.

“I can’t wait to find out,” he grinned. He slid down to his knees in front of me. In one swift move, he yanked my pajama shorts down and off. I heard him moan when he pulled me down toward the edge of the chair and spread my legs, exposing my purple lace panties to him. I watched him as he leaned in and bit one of my thighs. I sucked in air at the mixture of pleasure and pain I felt when his teeth sank into me. He gently rubbed his thumb across my c**t through my panties. I moaned as my body bucked under his hand. I felt him smile against my thigh as he was kissing his way up my leg. That’s when his phone rang. Grady paused for a second and then decided to ignore it, continuing to kiss his way towards my p***y. His mouth was so close to my c**t that I could feel his hot breath through my panties. Just as he was about to close that space, his phone rang again.

“Do you need to get that?”

He sighed and leaned back on his heels. The phone rang again. He picked it up off the table, looked at it, and frowned.

“Yeah, I probably should. It’s Heidi. Hello?” He answered as he walked out into the hallway. The heat left my body when I heard her name. I was quickly snapped back to reality. Of course it was Heidi. His fiance. Why wouldn’t she be calling him? I pulled my shorts back on and went back to the laundry room to start another load of clothes. I needed something to get my mind off of how sick I suddenly felt.

“Hey,” Grady slid his arm around my waist from behind. I recoiled from his touch and shoved him off of me.

“Go home, Grady.” I continued to throw clothes into my washer. Probably with more force than I needed to. I was pissed at myself and pissed at him. How could I have been so stupid? How did I let this man trick me yet again? I bit my lip thinking about how amazing his kisses had been. The feeling of his thumb pressed against me was still singing between my legs.

“Molly,” He turned me so that I was facing him, but I wouldn’t look him in the eye. I couldn’t because I knew I would start crying. “Look at me.”

I continued to look down at the floor. There was no way I was going to let this man see me crying. He grabbed me by the face and forced my head up so that I was looking directly into his eyes.

“I told you to tell me to stop.”

“I - I didn’t want you to stop. I still don’t.” I jerked my face away. I couldn’t stand to look at him right now. Especially after admitting that out loud. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted him to bend me over the table and f**k me until I begged for mercy. But I wouldn’t admit that part out loud.

Grady kissed the top of my head as he pulled me and wrapped his arms around me. I stood there with my hands by my side, scared that if I touched him that my body would betray me and push further.

“Have you cheated on Heidi before?” I felt him go stiff against me.

“No. I’ve never even been tempted to. Until you. And I don’t know what that means. And I know I shouldn’t have done it. I should have stopped whether you wanted me to or not. But I just couldn’t help myself once I was that close to you and you weren’t saying no.”

“So what now?” I leaned my head against his chest, relishing the feeling of having him wrapped around me. I was trying to soak in every second of this moment because I knew it was quickly about to end.

“I honestly don’t know. I probably shouldn’t come back over here for a while. I need to figure things out without you right in my face. I can’t seem to think straight around you.”

I smiled to myself and bit my lip to keep him from seeing it. I pushed away from him and made my way to the front door. Grady followed closely behind me but he didn’t touch me or say a word. I opened the door and held it open for him. It was becoming a ritual for us. Before he walked away, he turned and grabbed me by the hips, pulling me into him again. I was staring up into his eyes desperately searching for something, anything that would tell me what he was thinking.

“Kiss me one more time.”

I hesitated for a moment. I was about to turn around and shut the door but I changed my mind at the last minute. I may not ever get this chance again and I couldn’t resist feeling his soft lips against mine just one more time. I leaned up slowly and gently pressed my lips to his. He let out a low moan as he parted my lips with his tongue. His hands slid down to cup my ass as he deepened the kiss. I kept my hands on his face. I was scared to let them roam for fear that I might drag him back into my house. When he finally broke the kiss, he kissed my forehead one more time. Then he turned me and pushed me back into the house, popping me on my ass.

“Get some sleep. We’ll talk soon.” And with that he pulled my door shut and disappeared.