Nick Webster

We Are Family

             I was adopted in early October.  I had never attended school before, but Alyssa and Jeff wanted me to start at the local public school.  However, it was a little complicated.  I didn’t have any birth certificate or a social security, but they helped me apply for them.

            It was when we were applying for my identification that I decided I would talk about the name that I wanted.  They had continued to call me Louis up until then.  It’s not like months passed.  We applied for my identification after three days.  But I felt like I couldn’t bring it up right away.  They were both really nice, and I didn’t want to disappoint them.

            I told them I wanted to be called Nick.  But what would my last name be?  I felt like I shouldn’t adopt their last name. Nick Hamilton.  I felt like I would be living a lie and potentially putting them at risk.  While I knew I would grow to consider them family, they weren’t my real parents.  I’m sure I would grow to love and cherish them, but I wanted a unique identity.  I wanted an identity that was uniquely me.  But what would it be then?  Did it really matter that much?  Either way, I had to think about it ahead of time.  I think it would be weird if they thought I didn’t know my own last name… which I definitely didn’t know.

            I remember hearing different last names in one of the agencies I lived in.  Some kids had some trading cards of sports players.  I thought for a minute.  Hmm.  Some of their names were Anderson, Carter, Davis, McDaniel, Webster, Sanders, and… well, others.  I thought about which one I liked the most.  Nick Anderson.  Nick Carter.  Nick Davis.  Nick McDaniel.  Nick Webster.  Nick Sanders.  I like some of them, but I could eliminate some last names.  Nick McDaniel didn’t have a nice ring to it.  I had seen the first three last names several times, and I felt like they were too common.  Nick Webster.  That was both unique and had a nice ring to it.  That’s what I’m going with.

            Alyssa and Jeff wouldn’t know anyway.  They didn’t know who I was.  I didn’t even know who I was.  I was making my name up on the spot, so I guess it didn’t matter.  Like I said before, this was a new chapter in my life.  It felt great writing it rather than having it written for me.  I was in control of my own destiny now.

            After we applied for a social security card, both my new parents wanted to enroll me in school as soon possible.  They told me it would be good for me to interact with normal kids at a normal school.  I had never enrolled in school before, so I didn’t know what to expect. 

            Before I could start school, however, they had to figure out what grade I would enroll in.  I didn’t have a birth certificate, so they didn’t know when I was born.  I just told everyone I didn’t know how old I was.  I mean… I was actually only just over a year old, but I couldn’t tell them that!  I think I was about as big as a nine- or ten-year-old kid.  Since I had never had any schooling, the staff at the school suggested that I be tested to see my intellectual capabilities.  I assumed that if I scored higher, then I would be with older kids.  I wanted to fit in rather than be an anomaly, so I figured I should probably intentionally make some errors on it.  But how would a nine- or ten-year old score?  I don’t know.  I wasn’t going to do my best, but I would do good enough.

            One day in October, I went into the school and went into a big room with a lady I had never met before.  She said she was going to play some games and do some learning.  She was definitely coddling me.  I knew she was going to give me tests, but she avoided using that word or even describing them as tests.

            There were a lot of interesting puzzles to complete and tests.  Unfortunately, I was thrown off by a couple of the puzzles and tests.  They were way too easy, and I didn’t think they would end so soon.  The easiest were the puzzles with blocks and the ones with pictures.  I noticed that she timed a couple of tests.  I took advantage of that by taking my time, so my score wasn’t super great.  On a couple of the subtests, I made sure I randomly answered some questions wrong.  Even if I did, she gave me the whole test every time.

            All the tests took a total of about an hour and a half.  When we finished, she had a lot of positive things to say to me.  I worried that it was a little too positive, and I scored too well.  The last thing I need is to become some random kid without a birth certificate to pop up and be labeled as some sort of anomaly.

            Unfortunately, a couple of weeks later, I found out that’s exactly what I had become.  I scored very well.  The lady said she had never seen a higher score by anyone.  I now had to hope that I didn’t make national news and then figure out how to be viewed as normal again.  Well, I’m not sure I’ve ever been “normal.”

            Upon hearing this news, my mom was thrilled.  She couldn’t stop jumping up and down and doing a little dance for me.  I liked to see her happy, but she didn’t understand the gravity of my situation and not letting this information leak.

            After she finally calmed down, I told her how I felt.  “I just want to live a normal life.  I don’t want to be terrible or amazing.  I just want to be normal.  Can you make sure nobody knows about these results?”  I actually faked some tears to help out too.  I felt kind of bad doing it, but I needed Alyssa to listen.  Tears tended to do that job.

            I think it did the trick.  She didn’t understand right away.  She gave me a look that screamed, “I don’t know why you just said that.”  I could tell she wanted to question why I said that, but like I said, the tears I think did the trick.  After a few moments, her inner mother wanted to please me.  In a sympathetic voice, she said, “Aww, poor baby.  We- we won’t tell anyone.”  She hugged me afterwards.

            After a few moments, she overcame her motherly instincts.  “If I may ask, why don’t you want anyone to know?”

            My answer came very naturally.  It came from the heart and was honest, but I, of course, didn’t mention anything about the Russian government.  “I have never known normal.  My whole life has been moving from place to place with no stability.  I don’t know how to interact with kids my own age.  I’ve been involved with the police, been involved with more things than almost every kid my age, and many other things that you two don’t know about.”  I paused for an intentional dramatic effect.  For the first time, I pulled the “mom” card.  “Mom, there will be a time and a place for me to excel in the future.  I know there will be.  I know my own capabilities, but I have not known what it’s like to be in a family.  I have not known what it’s like to go to school.  I have not known what it’s like to be… normal.  I hope it’s not too much to ask.”  As bad as it might sound, I think I picked up some of these skills in manipulation from Nikki.  I thought about it for a second.  This is the type of thing that Nikki would do to me.

            Alyssa put her arms on both my shoulders and said, “No, that’s not too much to ask.”  She started crying and gave me another hug.  Jeff came closer to us and then also gave us both a hug.

            Later, my mom talked to the lady who tested me.  The lady who tested me said to my mom that with further testing, I could possibly start middle school high school.  I likely had the intellectual capability to handle strong abstract concepts.  Although she was excited about my intellect, she had a couple of reservations about moving up some grades anyway.  I had never had formally schooling, so just because I had the capabilities, I was still probably not socially ready for higher grades.  I should be able to accelerate through the material at a much faster rate than normal children.  The second reservation she had was about my social skills.  There aren’t very many kids out there who jump several grades, but they tend to not be ready on a social and developmental level.

            After hearing what she had stated, Alyssa told her a shorthand version of what I told her and Jeff.  The lady said she understood.  She recommended one of a couple of options.  One option was to jump into fifth grade and see how quickly I moved through some of the material and again decide at the end of the year where to go next.  The second option was simply to homeschool and find out how quickly I could move through academic material.

            I just wanted to go to school right away.  Learn how to be a kid.  Be normal.  So that’s what we did.  I didn’t need to be in a hurry to grow up right now.  I would soon start the fifth grade.

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             My first official day at school was a couple of weeks later on Monday, October 15, 2006.  It was nice to finally have a reference of the date.  When I was on my own, I had no clue what year it was.  I had a decent sense of what month it was, though.  Well, rather what season it was although I was only alone during the summer months.

            I was apprehensive on the first day of school.  What would it be like?  Would I see more Kevin’s out there? or would there be nice kids?

            My teacher was really welcoming and nice.  She introduced me on the first day.  Everyone chanted “hello” in unison back at me.  My parents were excited to see how and what I would learn in school.  I was excited as well.

            The first day of school was so much different from what I was used to.  The day was organized into eight different class periods.  We learned a different subject every class period.  These subjects included reading, language arts, math, science, history, physical education, and then a “special” that different based on the day.  On day “A,” we went to art class.  On day “B,” we went to music class.

            I didn’t make many friends in the first couple of days of school.  I mostly just waited for people to talk to me.  A few kids talked to me here and there, but I didn’t know who I was going to be friends with or even how to make friends.

            It took a couple of weeks, but I eventually fit in with a group of kids who liked sports and running around.  At first, I didn’t try in P.E. class.  However, I decided to put a little more effort in that class just to see what would happen.  I impressed several kids and even the P.E. teacher with my athletic abilities during a game of football.  There were four boys in their group.  All four boys were crazy about football, so I guess I decided to start trying during the right activity.  We had recess twice per day, and they played football during both recesses.  They wanted to get in as much football as they could.  They said it would get really cold as we moved further into November.  There would eventually be snow on the ground, and it would be much harder to play football with snow everywhere.

            The main leader of the group was a kid named Aaron.  He had really dark eyes and he played the quarterback position during recess.  That meant he was the person that threw the football to everyone else on our team.  He was the most social person in the group, and he seemed to be well-liked by almost everyone in our class, including the teacher.  He was nice, funny, and a likeable kid.

            Jamaal could be mean at times, but I could sense that he was okay with me.  He had much darker skin than everyone else in the group.  I had seen a couple of people with darker skin in France and several in Chicago.  I don’t know why there were people who had different skin colors.  I wanted to learn one day, but I didn’t want to ask Jamaal.  I felt like that could be weird or rude.  Jamaal was the fastest out of everyone.  He was barely faster than Aaron, but Aaron was more skilled at a lot of things.  That’s one of the reasons why Aaron was the quarterback when we played football at recess.  That was a position that required skill.  Jamaal was by far the funniest in the group.  He was what some people called a “class clown.” 

            Erik was taller than everyone else in the group.  Aaron threw it to either Jamaal or Erik almost every time because Jamaal was so much faster than everyone else and Erik was taller.  One of the first things I learned about Erik was that his dad owned the local construction company: Sandvig Construction, Inc.  Because of that, Erik was really good with his hands and could catch the ball really well too.

            Nate was the shortest one in the group.  He was definitely the “follower.”  He was much quieter than the other three kids, but he was well-liked and was a nice kid.  I related to him the most because he was quiet like me.  It’s not that I didn’t want to talk and socialize, but I just didn’t know what to say.

            I liked my new friends.  I didn’t know what was going to happen in the future, though.  Would I grow up with these kids as my friends?  I started to worry about that.  Next year, we would be going to a different building called the middle school.  Several adults would say that we would likely find different friend groups in middle school.  Everybody’s bodies would change, some kids would become more athletic, some would become smarter, and a lot of your friends in elementary are not the same as your friends in middle school.  I was worried that I wouldn’t fit in anywhere.  What was I going to do?  If I showed off my athleticism or intelligence, I don’t know what would change.  Sometimes kids were picked on for being smarter than all the other kids.  They were called, “nerds.”  I didn’t want to be a nerd or a loser.  My best bet was to just show off my athleticism.  It was the athletic kids who were considered “cool.”  Was I ready for that, though?  That could bring unwanted attention to me like from when I tested.

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             Spring break lasted five days.  My parents had been acting strangely for a few weeks.  They kept insisting that I spend the night at a friend’s house for a portion of spring break.  They weren’t normally pushy about these things.  I didn’t think much of it at the time, especially because I really enjoyed spending time with the friends that I have made this past year.

            I ended up spending the night at Aaron’s house that weekend.  Aaron lived in a big house and had a lot of siblings.  He was fun to be around, but honestly, I didn’t actually like staying at their house for the whole weekend.  After spending my whole life wandering around the streets of Russia, France, and the United States, I just wanted to stay in my home.  Being gone for too long upset me.

            Aaron was really into sports, and we played sports-based video games for much of the night on Friday night.  I have spent much of this past year pretending to be less capable than what I was.  This was no different.

            I would barely win sometimes and barely lose other times.  I could have easily beat him in any game, but that wasn’t what was best for our friendship.  I went into this year just wanting to be normal, and I knew I had to make sacrifices to be normal.  I knew I wasn’t normal, and I knew I would never be normal.

            Aaron really liked playing Madden 2006 for his Play Station 2.  His favorite team was the Saint Louis Rams.  They were apparently really good several seasons ago when they had players like Kurt Warner and Marshall Fault, but they weren’t as good now.  I didn’t really pay much attention to football, but I had to have a “favorite” team just to fit in.  My favorite team ended up being the Tennessee Titans.  They had a good quarterback and running back, but the Titans didn’t have that great of a season.

            I remembered almost everything that Aaron and our friends talked about.  I never really sought out the information, but remembering what they said was enough to fit in.  All my friends had different favorite teams.  They were all really competitive about it too.

            That’s what I liked about them.  They were all competitive.  While I couldn’t show off my true talent yet, I liked being around them because they were fun.  They played a lot of sports like football and basketball, but I tended to avoid playing sports.  Sometimes it made some of them upset, so occasionally, I would join out of peer pressure.  I never tried my hardest, but I always made it look like I tried.

            Aaron had three younger sisters.  Every Saturday, their family had a tradition of playing games together as a family.  Aaron wasn’t much of a board game player, so he complained about playing, especially when he had friend over.  I didn’t mind, though.  It was nice to learn new things and games.  Aaron’s biggest complaint was that they always chose games he didn’t like.  It wasn’t his turn to pick what was played this weekend either.

            It was Aaron’s sister’s, Sami, turn to choose.  She chose a game called UNO.  Aaron was okay with that, and I think Sami only chose UNO because I was here.  Nonetheless, it was an entertaining game.  It was a game that was almost entirely based on luck.  You had to lay down a card from your hand that matched the previously laid down card.  We played four games.  Aaron won the first game, then his other sister, Sydney, won the next game.  Finally, Aaron’s dad won the next two games.

            My dad picked me up shortly after the fourth game.  I didn’t know when they were coming back exactly, but I wondered why they didn’t both pick me up.  They are usually together even for simple things like picking me up.  Aaron and his family said goodbye, and I was on my way home.  It was probably around 6:00 or so at night.

            When we arrived back at home, I found out why they had been acting weird and why my dad came alone.  I couldn’t believe my ears.  I thought I was living in a dream for a moment.  I almost had to pinch myself to bring myself back to reality.  There was no explanation could adequately describe how it happened.

            I walked into the door and immediately was greeted with, “Hi, stranger!  Long time no see!”  The sound of her voice preceded my sight of her, but I knew the voice without hesitation.

            Nikki came over to give me a big hug.  My eyes were wide open, and I was completely speechless.  She hugged me for probably like five seconds or so, but it seemed like an eternity.

            When she was done hugging me, the only thing I could say was, “Wh- wha- wh-.”

            Nikki jumped in and said, “It’s good to see you too!”

            “How- how did you…?” I started to ask.

            “You’re really having trouble asking questions,” she observed.

            Yes.  Yes, I certainly am.  How on this godforsaken planet did Nikki manage to find me and manage to arrive home with my adoptive parents?

            It took me a few moments, but I eventually broke down and hugged her with a tear rolling down the side of my face.  “I missed you,” I whispered to her.

            “I missed you too,” she said.

            I guess an entirely new chapter in my life was going to start.  This chapter made my old and new worlds merge.  I hadn’t truly felt happy here until now.  I felt like I could once again fully live my life.  What new adventures would follow?  Soon we’ll find out.