Nick Webster

Land of the Free

            The next three days were the longest of my life.  Physical torture wasn’t as bad as this type of torture.  The plane ride was horrible.  I couldn’t stop thinking of Nikki.  What happened?  Why did it take so long for her to get back onto the plane?  Did she decide that she didn’t want to be with me anymore?  Was Paris where she wanted to stay from here on out?  Why didn’t she even tell me?  So many questions ran through my head throughout the entire trip.  I sat at the window, and I actually cried several times during the trip.  It was such a miserable feeling.

            I arrived at the airport in Chicago, United States, about at noon.  It was the weirdest thing ever because the plane ride took several hours.  I felt like it took the whole day, but only three hours had passed.  When I stepped off the plane, it was a different time of the day than what I was expecting.  It made me feel so stupid…  was ‘morning’ always considered to be six or seven in the morning?  Does six or seven in the morning then come at different times for different places?  I’m thinking too much.  I just need to calm down and get some sleep or something.

            Anyway.  I waited either inside or outside of the airport for three days.  I didn’t eat anything during that time, but there were water fountains for me to drink some water.  I was finally so hungry that I couldn’t stand it.  I didn’t know what to do, though.  I may have to break my own rules.  If I don’t steal food, I would die of hunger soon.

            I don’t know what happened to Nikki, but I had to start to get the feeling that I wasn’t going to be with her any time soon.  She was in another country, and I had no way of traveling there right now.  I would have to find a way to make money and figure out how to buy a ticket.  Nikki did all that, and I had no clue how to purchase a ticket.  To make matters worse, the language in Chicago is different from Russia or France.  I knew some English from those songs we sang, but I was very lost trying to read signs and understand what people might be saying.

            The grandma in Russia was super nice.  Why didn’t I just stay with her?  Maybe people in this country were also nice.  Nikki said they had some of the best foster care systems in the whole world.  People who adopt children must be nice, right?  Why else would they adopt kids?  There was only one way to find out.  Well, except I still had the problem that I didn’t know the language and have no clue how to find a foster care home.

            My sleep schedule had been thrown off.  I was tired in the afternoon and woke up in the middle of the night every night.  I guess I had to get used to that again.  I went back to wandering around the city at night and sleeping in alleys and trash cans in the day.

            After what I think was an entire week, someone discovered me while I was asleep in a trash can.  It wasn’t the first time I had ran into someone, but it was the most significant time.  The person was a lady was taking her trash out or something and saw me.  At first, I think she thought I was dead.  Her loud scream after seeing me woke me up.  She was much younger than the grandma in Russia.  She started talking to me, but I had absolutely no idea what she was saying.  I didn’t even really know where I was when she woke me up.  But I looked around and realized I was at some sort of daycare or elementary school.  There was a bunch of playground equipment for children.

            I decided not to fight whatever she was going to do.  If she called the police, she would call the police.  If she invited me into a building, then at least I’d be warm.  If she tried to kill me, well, my life was going downhill anyway.  What’s the point?  My life was living in and out of trash cans eating leftovers and garbage.  Nikki was out of my life.  The only time I’ve been hopeful or happy was when she was in my life.

            Anyway, the lady at the garbage finally stopped trying to talk directly to me after I hadn’t responded to her.  I decided to demonstrate that I wasn’t ignoring her, but I just couldn’t understand her.  I told her, “I speak Russian,” except it was in Russian.  She immediately gave me a weird look.  She pulled out a cell phone started calling someone.

            I didn’t know what to do.  I just sat there.  In the trash can.  Miserable.

            She signaled for me to come into the building.  I hesitated, but she signaled me in again.  I probably smelled terrible since I hadn’t bathed since I was in France.  Eventually, I went into the building.  What else did I have to do with my life right now?

            I went inside.  She signaled for me to wait in the entrance of the building.  Eventually, she brought me some food and a water bottle.  I didn’t do anything with it, though.  It’s like I had no desire to eat or even live at this point.  I just stared at it and then eventually stared down at the ground.

            I could sense that she was worried, but I didn’t care.  She set the plate down and then went on her phone again.

            Eventually, a police officer came and entered the building.  I made sure that I was on guard for what he was about to do.  What are the chances that police officers or governments communicated across the globe?  It’s very possible, so I remained on guard.  But I thought it might actually be worse for me if I created a controversy for no reason.

            When he came into the building, his hand was on his gun.  But he otherwise didn’t come in suggesting he was going to be aggressive.  It looked more routine or defensive.  The officer looked me up and down.  He and the lady started talking to each other.  They talked for about three or four minutes.  He finally came over to me and bent down, so he was at my level.  I didn’t make eye contact at first.  He said a few things to me that I couldn’t understand.

            When he paused, I looked at him square in the eyes.  He looked at me curiously, and I tried to give a ‘I’m harmless’ look.  I didn’t really believe he was harmless, but again, I didn’t cause a scene without due reason.  I didn’t say anything right away.  He paused but eventually said something else.  In Russian, I said, “I don’t know English.”

            He raised his eyebrow and then gave up realizing that he couldn’t communicate with me.  He started talking to the lady again, and then he used the radio that was on his belt.  I looked at the clock.  It was around 9:30 at night.  At least numbers are a universal language.

            The officer eventually came back to me.  He started speaking to me again, but this time, he incorporated hand signals.  He pointed to the door and signaled his hands in a fist while shaking them up and down.  He was probably suggesting that I go with him in his car.  I looked at him skeptically but didn’t move.

            He crouched down again and reached his hand out to offer for me to grab his hand.  Before this situation escalated, I decided to follow along as long as he didn’t touch me or place anything on me.  I’ve been in captive too many times, and I wasn’t about to be held captive anymore.

            I shook my head at his extended hand, and I stood up.  I would follow him, but I would have an escape plan if possible.  He stood back up as well.  The officer said a few things to the lady, and then we both went outside.  I was following him but I kept my distance from him, so I would have enough time to escape if he tried anything on me.

            He opened the front passenger door to his police car.  I slowly stepped into the vehicle, examining as much of it as I could.  I checked for anything that could be used against me or anything that could be used against him if needed.  There weren’t any noticeable traps for me.  It was different from every other car I had been in, but that wasn’t saying much.  There were bars that separated the backseat from the front seats.

            We drove for over half an hour.  As was typical in these situations, I looked out the window at potential resources I could use in the future.  I still had to keep an eye on the police officer, though.  He didn’t say anything to me, but he played some music in the car while we drove.  I didn’t know what the future would hold for me at this point.  I could end up dead within the next few minutes, or I could find the family I’ve always dreamed of being a part of.  I guess part of that will depend on what the people around me decide to do, starting with this police officer.

            I kept thinking about Nikki throughout the car ride.  I wondered if she was okay.  Even if she had decided that she didn’t want to come to Chicago with me, I hoped she was happy and healthy.  I couldn’t help but thinking that I held her back anyway.  She could do anything – sneak into buildings without getting caught, figure out the internet, talk to people, and heck, she could probably make a career out of singing too.  I wasn’t good at any of those things.  The only thing I was good at was helping trouble find the two of us.

            I also thought about strategy from here on out.  I felt like I should keep my Russian origin a secret.  Someone will probably find out along the way.  But if I could keep it a secret as long as I can, I’m sure it would help me rather than hurt me.  I’ll try to pretend I’m French from here on out – it’s not like I could hide that I was from another country anyway.  I should be careful about what I was, though.  If someone knows Russian, they’ll figure out that I’m probably from Russia.  I know it’s not the only country that speaks Russian, but who knows how easy it would be to figure it out?  The less others knew around me knew, the better for me.

            A few days ago, I had thrown my passport in a fire that was in a metal trash can.  I now think it was a mistake.  I don’t know what I was thinking, but I just felt so hopeless at the time.  One night, I just thought, “What’s the point of keeping this?  I didn’t know how to travel, and even if I did, I would have no clue how to find Nikki.”  I threw it into a trash can out of frustration and hopelessness.  It also would others a way to figure out who I really was.  Only about five minutes later did I realize that was probably a bad decision.  I think it was a good learning experience for me, though.  I threw it in the trash can out of anger.  I knew I needed to avoid making stupid decisions like that in the future, especially if my life was at risk.  That’s one thing I had been good at up until that point.  Before that moment, I felt like I rarely let my emotions get the best of me.

            Now, I only had the clothes on my back.  I didn’t have any money, weapons, or useful tools.  I at least had shoes, socks, a shirt, and pants.  I guess it could be worse.

            When we finally stopped, the police officer signaled for me to follow me.  It looked like what was probably the police headquarters.  There were several other police cars parked on the side of the building.  This was a big moment for me.  If I go into the police building, I could be willingly walking into my own captivity.  There would be a lot more police officers waiting for me, and I wouldn’t be able to fight them all off.  I felt confident that I could quickly and quietly slip away before we went into the building.  It was dark and this was a big city.  I felt like it would be easy to run and hide if I could find the right opportunity.  I might not have another opportunity to escape.

            I reluctantly decided I would see what the police would do.  I didn’t actually have any reason to distrust this individual or any police in this country.  At least not yet.

            We went into the building.  I looked around.  This building looked a lot nicer than the prisons I had previously been in.  There was a person who was partially in another room but had glass between us and her.  She was just sitting at a desk.

            The police officer started talking to her through the glass.  I stood in the middle of the room looking around.  I was looking for escape routes, potential dangers, and potential weapons.  The feeling of this room was not of danger, but you can never be too careful.

            After a few minutes, the officer signaled for me to follow him into the building.  My heart started racing.  What was back there?  Would I have to fight my way through?  I didn’t want to hurt or kill anybody.

            I slowly followed him while staring at the lady behind the desk.  She just smiled at me trying to look happy and harmless.  I followed him through a door.  We went down a hallway and then went to another door.  He grabbed keys from his belt and unlocked the door.  The building was mostly empty at least around us.  I could hear another person in a room down the hallway.  I kept on my guard for potential dangers, but it didn’t look like anything was going to happen.

            We both went into the room.  It was just a regular looking room.  There was a desk with a computer on it, a small refrigerator, a couch, filing cabinets, and a lot of other things.  He signaled for me to sit on the couch.  The police officer went onto his computer.  After a few minutes, he picked up the phone that was on his desk and made a call.

            After he hung up, I decided to try to communicate with him.  I think if he was going to hurt or capture me, he would have done it by now.  What do I have to lose?  I had a better chance of survival if I was closer to his weapon anyway.

            I got his attention by slowly waving at him.  I pointed to myself and then pointed to and looked at his computer.  He looked at his computer and then signaled for me to come over.  Nikki had told me about a website that could translate words into different languages for you.  The only problem was that I didn’t know what to type on the computer to find this website.  This was actually the first time I was actually starting at a computer too.

            The officer went to a mostly blank page.  It had some things at the top of the screen and then there was an empty long rectangle with some words around it in the center of the screen.  I still skeptically gave myself some distance from the police officer just in case he tried to do anything to me.  I looked at the keyboard and started typing in the French word for ‘translate’ which was ‘traduire.’  He hit a button and then the screen started moving.  It felt good to be searching on the internet just like Nikki did.  I watched her do it a few times, but I had no clue what she was doing.  Most of the time, she used computers at night when she snuck into buildings when no one was around.

            He started scrolling down the webpage, and I think he figured out what I was trying to do.  He clicked on a website that had two boxes.  At the top of one of the boxes, I could see the word “French” written in French.  I excitedly pointed to that word!  He clicked on a few other things, but he gave me the keyboard to start typing a message.  What was I going to say?

            Well, I didn’t know where else to start, so I decided to ask an obvious question, “Do you speak French?”

            The officer shook his head as I silently read the question in English.  It would be helpful to learn some of this language along the way.  Before I could ask another question, he started typing in the box.  He asked me a question which translated to, “What is your name?”

            I hesitated.  What would I tell him?  I didn’t want to give him my actual name or a Russian name.  I wanted to give him a French name, so I thought for a moment.  I learned several French names from the encyclopedia I read back at the library in Paris.  I’ll just go with Louis.  That was a king in France’s past.

            He responded with another question, “Where are you parents?”

            This was a good question to fast forward us to the point of why I am even talking to this police officer.  I answered, “I don’t have any.  I am looking for foster care.”

            He was confused by my response.  I hope I don’t mess this up.  He asked me another question, “How did you get to the United States with no parents?”

            Oh boy.  How was I going to answer that question?  I need to make up a believable story.  I’m going to put off my morals for a little bit.  At least until I found a family to live with.  I’ll be better after that.  I hesitated before typing, but I couldn’t hesitate too much.  The officer might start to get suspicious if I was taking too long to answer.  A kid who wasn’t lying wouldn’t have to think about the answers to these questions.  I started typing, “My parents told me this country was the land of opportunity before they died.”

            My heart was starting to race again.  I hoped he wouldn’t notice that I was starting to get nervous.  I didn’t really directly answer his question, but I hoped he wouldn’t want to ask a child about the death of his parents.  I could always try to cry myself out of this situation if all else failed.  Adults don’t like to make kids cry, or so I understand.

            He looked concerned.  He paused for a couple of moments, but he started typing again.  “When did you arrive in this country?”

            I didn’t want to give him an exact answer, but I felt like he could try to investigate my answer, which means I couldn’t completely make something up.  “I think a few weeks ago,” is the answer I went with.

            He quickly asked me the next question.  “What have you been eating?”

            This was another quick bath to sympathy.  “Food from trash cans,” I typed.

            He just stared at the screen after I typed that for a few moments.  I think it did the trick because he looked at me with a lot of sympathy in his eyes.  He made some sort of move toward me.  I jerked back in defense.  I think he was about to hug me or something.  I didn’t mind making it known that he needed to stay away from me either out of fear or in this case sympathy.  If I could distance myself from this man because he thought I was kicked down and afraid of people, I wouldn’t have to worry about him thinking I’m aggressive or dangerous.

            He looked somewhat heartbroken that I jerked away, and he looked at me for a couple of moments.  He went back to his computer and started typing one more message.  It was rather long, but it was what I was looking for.  “I’m going to take you to a shelter for homeless young people.  They will help take care of you and give you food.  They are nice, and you can trust them.”

            I read the message and simply responded, “Okay.”  The quicker we get there, the better it will be for me.

            He signaled for me to sit back down on his couch.  He did a few more things on his computer and made another phone call.  I patiently waited for him to finish.

            Eventually, we left his office and went back to his police car.  We went into the car again and drove for another 30 minutes or so.  I somewhat remained aware of any potential dangers, but I was tired and just wanting to rest.

            We eventually arrived in the parking lot of a brick building.  It was quiet around this area of the city.  The officer stepped out of his car and led the way as we both walked into the brick building.  On the inside, there was a person behind a desk similar to the police building.  She also gave me a smile and said something I couldn’t understand.  I now recognized the word “you” from before.  But I couldn’t really understand anything else she said.  She did say my name at the end of her sentence or question.  Well, it was my fake name, “Louis.”

            I just slowly nodded my head, indicating that I didn’t really understand what she was saying.  The police officer and this lady also started talking for a while.  I again waited patiently for them to be ready.  After a while, the lady came around the front desk and indicated that I follow her through the building.  The police officer left, so I was without a ride from here on out if I needed to leave.  I guess I was going to stay here for a while.

            I followed the lady down several hallways.  The bad thing was that all the doors required a special card to unlock them.  This meant I could be in trouble if I needed to quickly escape.  We eventually arrived at a large bathroom.  She grabbed some clothes and a towel from a closet.  There were showers, so I think she was expecting me to clean myself.  I really needed it, though.  I had stunk so bad that I could smell myself.

            She started the shower and made sure the water was a good temperature.  Well, I guess this place was going to be my new home for now.  Like it or not, I think this was the next step toward finding a family.

            The shower was warm and felt so good.  There was shampoo and body wash available.  I made sure that I read everything on the label to continue to try to pick up the language.

            I showered for about five minutes.  I dried off and dressed myself in the clothes the lady had left.  I don’t think she was expecting me to be done so quick with my shower.  When I finished, I waited for a few minutes.  Nobody came into the large bathroom, so I decided to walk back toward the front of the building.

            The doors didn’t need that special card to leave.  I went through these doors and wander back to where I came from within the building.  The lady was back at the front where she originally was, and she was surprised to see me.  She now walked me around to another large room with a lot of beds in them.  She put her finger in front of her mouth as if to tell me to make sure I was quiet.  I looked around.  There were several people already asleep in several different beds.  I wasn’t going to be part of a family yet, but at least I had a bed now.

            She walked me over to a bed.  The bed looked old and the blanket on top of it was thin.  I honestly think I would probably be warmer in a large trash bin.  Oh well.  This would hopefully be more comfortable than that would be.  We’ll see.

            I jumped into bed, and she put the blanket around me.  I had already slept several hours before that one lady had found me in the trash bin.  I was still tired and new that I would fall asleep, but I knew I was going to wake up in the middle of the night.  For now, I’ll take a bed.