The Accidental Text

Chapter 2

Lila

It was lunchtime, so I walked into the cafeteria, and immediately you can tell that it was just a sea of social clicks hanging out.

You got the populars at one table. The art students at another and all the in between sub clicks scattered about the cafeteria.

I don’t belong to any click, so I usually just sit the furthest away in the corner of the cafeteria. Nina is sort of like me, she is invisible but she also stands out. That’s because she doesn’t care. Me? I care.

Why do I care? It’s hard to explain but did you ever just want people to just notice you? I guess that is what it is for me.

No matter how hard I try, I just never seem to fit in or be someone people want to hang out with. People only like me when they want something. When they get it, it’s like I’m just not good enough for them and I’m back to being invisible again.

I found my usual table, in the corner away from most of the clicks. I sat down and pulled out my lunch and took a nibble on it.

“Is that all you're going to eat?” Nina asked me as she sat down at the table, across from me.

I looked at the little bag of sun chips I had, I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I need to lose weight.”

Nine raised her eyebrow at me and said, “Sun chips isn’t a diet. What’s wrong?”

“I’m just not hungry, nothing is wrong.” I told her.

My eyes caught Shawn and David going to their table to sit down. They were laughing about something.

How I envied that table, they always seem to be having fun. Sometimes I wished I could be like that, just having fun. Maybe if I was more carefree, they would actually see me and I could sit with them.

Nina turned her head to see what I was looking at.

“Lila, you don’t need those assholes. You are a great girl. You just need confidence in yourself. That’s the only thing that keeps them from seeing that you are a great person.” Nina sighed as she turned back to her lunch.

I put my bag of chips down, “Well, that is easy to say. You know it isn’t easy.” I told her looking down at the chip bag.

“No, but little steps can help. Like maybe buying a bra that actually fits you for starters.” Nina said.

I blushed at that comment, and then I shrugged my shoulders and said. “My bra fits, it’s not like anyone notices anyway.”

“Lila, everyone notices. You need to hold the girls up, not keep them dropping. I know your mom might not care that you're dressing like a middle age woman, but girl you are a 17 year old female not a 57 year old one. Boobs should be perky at our age, not droopy.” Nina said as she bit into her sandwich.

I shook my head at her, “Easy for you, you got a perfect body that guys want. Me, I’m just a fat girl with big boobs. Trust me, no one wants my body.” I said to her.

Nina put her sandwich down and looked at me. “You are pathetic sometimes you know that? You want people to notice you. You hate being this“ she says and puts her fingers in air quotes, “ invisible girl”

Nina puts her hand down and continues. “in our class, but you do nothing about it. Ok, how is this, I challenge you to come with me today after school to the mall and get a real bra that actually fits. Wear it tomorrow with a t- shirt and just see if it made a difference. If you are still convinced it made no difference in your appearance and self worth, then I will give you the money it cost for the bra.” She said to me.

I just stared at Nina, debating on what she just said. Then I looked over at the popular table.

Dani was standing behind Shawn, reaching around him to get something off his tray. She had on just a shirt and jeans, like me. But her boobs were pushed up in the shirt, where mine are just there.

Maybe Nina has a point.

“Ok, maybe I do need help with a bra.” I whispered.

“Oh my god, did you just agree to go shopping with me? Oh my write the date down! Lila Monroe is actually going to go shopping for clothing with me.” Nina laughed.

“Shut up before I change my mind.” I said to her.

*

Nina drives to school, I don’t have my licence, my parents, well should say my mom, will not allow me to get one. So I always have to take the bus to school instead. If I want to go anywhere, one of them has to drive me if Nina can’t pick me up.

My mother can be overprotective so I sent a text to her saying I was with Nina to work on a school project. If she knew it was to get a bra, I would get a lecture.

My mother is strict on my clothing. Because I am a big girl and have a big chest, my mother thinks most clothing is indecent.

So Nina was right about me dressing like an old lady. That is why I don’t want to get that lecture from my mother on why I should not be wearing a kinky bra.

We were off in Nina’s car to the mall. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this, buying a bra without my mother’s approval.

We got to the mall, and right into a*****e that was all lingerie. This is definitely where I don’t get bras from normally.

“My mom will kill me if she knows I’m in here.” I told Nina.

“So, we make sure there are no tags on the bra, and no bags. Let’s stick with light pink or white too. Your mom would have a heart attack if you got a black bra.” Nina said.

My mom loves me. I know that. I feel like I am just a disappointment for her. Like I’m more of an inconvenience because I’m not popular.

My mom has her own beliefs. She doesn’t want me to cause attention. She is overprotective but yet she ignores me.

When she doesn’t ignore me she criticizes me, especially when it comes to my weight. She hates that I’m a big girl. I sometimes think my mother is bipolar when it comes to me.

My younger sister by about a year is the opposite of me. She is the fun one. Everyone loves her. She is daring and does what she wants. She is also my mother’s favourite.

What’s funny is, me and my sister are not close, even though we are only a year apart, it’s like we are two strangers. We don’t hang out. We don’t do anything together. We really don’t even talk to each other.

What makes matters worse is that our parents don’t encourage us to do stuff together either. It’s like I live in a house full of strangers because of how we do nothing. I guess we are the definition of a dysfunctional family.

“Hi, is there something I can help you with?” A middle aged woman asks me and Nina as we were looking at the wall of bras.

Nina turned to speak with the woman, “Actually yes, my friend needs a bra that actually fits her. But, she never was properly measured. Can you measure her so we can get the right fit?” Nina asked the sales lady.

“Oh of course. The right measurements are very important. Not wearing the correct size can affect you. Like now, what size are you wearing dear?” The sales lady asked.

“Um, 38B.” I told her.

“Hmm, I can tell, you are definitely not a B cup. Here come with me, we will figure this out.” She said to me.

I’m glad she didn’t ask why I was wearing that size. Honestly, how I got this size was from my mom. She came home one day with a bra and told me I had to start wearing it. So I did, when it was wearing out, she just brought me another one home.

I never realised you had to go get measured. I just assumed you tried one on and if it fits it fits. Just like pants and shirts.

“Ok, if you go in that room, I can tell that the bra you are wearing is very ill-fitting. Just take it off, but keep your shirt on, this way I can get a better measurement for you.” The woman instructed me.

I did what she asked, she ran a tape measure over me and said, “You are actually a 44D. Your other one was a bit small for you. Stay here, let me get one in your actual size so you can feel how different it feels on you.” She smiled at me.

I nodded my head and looked down. This was embarrassing.

She returned with a lacy white bra. She handed it to me and instructed me to go into the little room and put it on.

I did. I was in shock. It wasn’t tight, it actually felt comfortable. I turned to the side and saw I actually looked a bit leaner in the mirror.

I pulled my phone out of my purse and took a quick photo of my body. My head was cut off in the photo, but I didn’t care. It was my body I wanted more in that photo anyway.

I hurried up and put the photo into a text to Nina. I just typed her number in the to field instead going through my contacts to send to her. I didn’t want to be too long in this dressing room.

L: I look better in this bra, don’t I? I look much better, right?

I hit send and put my phone back into my purse, and threw my shirt back on and stepped back out.

“Oh my, much better. What do you think dear?” The woman asked.

“I have to admit, I do look better. I look skinnier.” I said to her.

“Well, that’s the secret of the right fitting bra. When the girls are lifted up like this. It gives your torso a much longer look.” She said to me.

Nina came around and smiled.

“Lila, you look so much better. Please tell me you see the difference.” Nina said.

“Ok, you were right. Plus, this one doesn’t hurt.” I said.

“Well, your bra should never hurt. If it does, you have the wrong size.” The woman explained.

“How much is the bra?” I asked her.

“Well normally it is $65, but on sale for $30.” She said.

“$30?” I gasped. I don’t think I have ever bought clothing that expensive before.

“Can I say something? I get it, I was raised by my father, who had no clue what it’s like to be a young girl. And it can be hard. I know $30 sounds like a lot, but think of it this way, it’s actually an investment in yourself.” The woman said to me.

I sighed and Nina said, “Lila you do look much better.”

“Ok, I will take it.” I said.

“Let me just get the tag, and you can wear it out. I can dispose of your old one too if you like.” The woman said to me.

“Yes, please.” I said to her.

The woman took the tag and my old bra and we went up to the register. I paid for my new bra.

We decided to have a quick snack there in the mall before we left. I was sitting in the food court with Nina.

“You never said anything about my text. Do I look thinner to you in the bra?” I asked her,

“What text?” Nina said.

“I sent you a text when I was in the dressing room.” I said to her.

Nina pulled her phone out and showed me. She never got a text from me.

“Maybe it didn’t go through.” I said pulling my phone out to see.

Only it did go through, and there was a reply to it.

?: Looks good to me, wow, you have a beautiful body. Who are you?

“Oh my god, who did I send this text to?” I gasped.

“Let me see?” Nina said, grabbing my phone.

“Well, good thing it was just your body in a bra and jeans. Hopefully he is cute.” Nina laughed.

“This isn’t funny! I sent a bra photo to some strange guy!” I said to her.