Last Week's Festival

Homes, Closed/For the Day;

alas, my curse as a writer and an employee is that i don't have enough tools; i have just to tell just everyone; about how to draw; i have to tell everyone and guide them by the hand about drawing skills%

oh god, what a nightmare, when i realized that people are really asking me to teach them drawing%

........and so i sit by myself% in my upper room%

i sit by myself, and i write to an unseen audience% a desperate thirsty crowd% a dying society in the wilderness%

so i actually, reach for any of these things in my household% i reach for any of these things in the house% there's a bottle of rubbing ethyl alcohol% and i remember to make my writing quick and cool% like ice%

then i remember to make my writing clear and concise% like knives that are slow%

then i really need to% i really need to finish what i'm writing, just before everyone else in the house gets back home from work% or community volunteering%

then i really need to write many things detailing my life or everything that i've seen%

so i say, i get that bottle of rubbing alcohol and make my writing clear as ice.

then, i tell anything i'm thinking about.

i know that i'm going to suck it for not having enough writing skills. when it comes to writing, i finally don't have enough tools, so with anger% and not with grace%, it's my turn to have a challenge when reaching for those kinds of tools.

i know i don't have the right tools for writing ---------- i don't have the right tools%

i have the right tools for Fine Arts%

and i just let words flow% and i just follow the rules of there are any% and just fit in my words to the rules%

and the homes are closed% myself and maybe some crazy Lanky Types% are all locked inside%

and then, actually, i don't know what%

i actually really need to write everything i feel%

and that's how i made myself work% i'm just signing myself up on writing work% and then i'm always writing ccording to the rules%

and then i submit my own freedom + the rules for work%

then i submit this thing and complete my writing everyday%

i feel exasperated% and i just fling my hands in the air% and give up% and go to sleep%