Shifting Destiny

Chapter Nine

The stone floor is cold against my back. Levi holds one forearm across my upper chest, keeping me from sitting up. I can see the open door past his shoulder, but I don't remember falling from where I stood beside the bed.

"Stay still for a moment," Levi says. His voice is firm, though he isn't pressing down any harder. "You scratched me. I need to know you can see me before I let go."

"I can see you." My breath comes too fast, and I turn my head to look at the arm holding me down. There are four bloody lines across his skin but the cuts are already drawing closed.

He follows my gaze. "Can you tell me what happened?" Levi asks, keeping his other hand braced on the floor beside my shoulder.

"I was standing there. You told me to open my fingers." I try to remember what came after, but all I have is his voice and then the floor. "I don't remember scratching you."

Something wet touches my palm. My fingers are curled against the stone, and when I lift them, I see blood on the long, dark claws where my nails should be. I pull my hand close to my chest. Levi shifts his weight back but keeps his forearm in place until I stop moving.

"Those are mine?" I ask, though I can see where they come out of my fingers. The claws look longer than the nails I watched change on the bed.

"They came out when you lunged at me," Levi answers. His eyes move from my hand to my face. "Keep your hands where I can see them. Take a breath, then another."

I want him off me, but I also want the claws gone before I touch anyone again. I draw air in through my nose and let it out slowly. My chest pushes against his arm on the next breath, but he holds steady. I watch the scratches on his forearm fade until only thin pink lines remain.

"Again." Levi watches my hands and gives me enough room to draw a deeper breath. I breathe in and unclench my fingers. The tightness under my nails eases a little. The claws shorten, then draw back until my hands look almost as they did before. There is still blood on my fingertips. I turn them over, checking both sides, afraid they will change again if I look away.

Levi takes his arm off my chest and gets to his feet. He moves back a few paces instead of reaching for me. I sit up slowly, keeping my hands away from him.

"Did I hurt you anywhere else?" I ask. He is watching me from beside the bed, and I can't see every part of him from the floor.

"No. Those scratches are healing." Levi shows me his forearm, then lowers it. "But losing that time matters. I need to tell Alis what happened so she can check you."

I bend my knees and rest my wrists on them. The blood on my hands is starting to dry. "You keep saying I need to control this. How am I supposed to do that if I don't even know when it starts?" I look up at him, waiting for something I can actually use.

"Before you moved, your shoulders went tight and your claws came out," Levi says. He stays where he is while I glance down at my hands. "You may notice your pulse changing, or a pressure in your fingers. The first thing is to recognize it. After that, we can work on stopping it."

I think back to the tight skin around my nails and the sharp points against my palms. I felt both while I was still talking to him. I was so angry at the answers he kept withholding that I ignored them. "I felt my hands change," I tell him. "I didn't think I'd move without remembering it."

"Neither did I," Levi admits. He looks at the fading lines on his arm. "I should have given you more room and brought Alis in before I kept answering questions."

His admission makes it easier to look at him, but it doesn't fix the blank space in my memory. "The wolf who bit me should be teaching me this, shouldn't he?" I ask. "You said someone who's been through a turning usually helps."

Levi crouches several feet away, bringing his face closer to mine without coming within reach. "Kael would normally have a responsibility to help you through the change," he says. "A person who's been through it can recognize some of the signs. He also knows what his bite did. None of that means you have to trust him or obey him."

"I couldn't trust him near me right now anyway." I rub one thumb against the side of my knee, stopping before the dried blood touches my clothes. "You said he's feral. Does he know he bit me?"

"I don't know what he understood in the woods," Levi answers. His gaze drops to the floor between us. "He has been in a feral state for more than a year. Most wolves in his condition don't recover enough to return to their lives. I haven't given up on him, but I can't promise he'll be able to guide you."

I remember the black wolf standing over me in the woods, and the way his injured leg had twitched under my hands at the sanctuary. Knowing his name doesn't tell me what he meant to do. "Then we plan for him not to help," I say. "I need someone who can answer my questions without deciding for me."

"That's fair." Levi rests his forearms on his knees. "Alis handles your care. I can show you what I know about the changes if you want me there. She should decide when you're well enough to practice."

I look at his healing arm. He could have held me down and told me I was dangerous, then left me alone with that. Instead, he has stayed to explain what he saw. I still don't like how easily I ended up on the floor. "If we practice, I want to know what you're going to ask me to do before we start," I tell him. "And I want to be able to stop."

"You can set a stop signal with Alis present," Levi answers. He rises, careful not to step toward me while I sit there. "I'll ask her to be there if you're ready to try."

Heat starts in my chest again. I can choose whether to practice, but I hate needing an assessment before I can start learning to control what is happening to me. My pulse picks up, and the skin at the ends of my fingers pulls tight.

I stop rubbing my knee and open both hands where I can see them. My nails sharpen a little. I'm angry, but the sudden urge to rush at him feels separate from the words I want to say. I don't know what to make of that. Levi sees the change, but he doesn't move closer or tell me to calm down. I put my palms flat against my knees, breathe slowly, and wait. The points ease back before they break the skin.

"I felt it that time," I say. I keep watching my fingers until I'm sure they've stopped changing.

"You did," Levi answers. He looks from my hands to my face. "Tell Alis exactly what you felt when she comes in. That will help us know what to watch for next time."

I push myself to my feet with one hand against the bedframe. My legs shake, but they hold. "And please ask her to bring me something to clean my hands with," I tell him, showing him the dried blood. "Then I still need to contact Kayla."

"I'll get Alis." Levi walks to the open door and stops with one hand against the frame. "If she clears you, we can begin working on control tomorrow."

He leaves the door open as he goes. I sit on the edge of the bed rather than risk another walk across the cold floor. My hands are human again, but they still feel strange, and the time I lost won't come back because the scratches on Levi's arm healed. When Alis arrives, I'll tell her what I remember. Tomorrow, if I can stand steadily enough to practice, I want to learn how to catch the change in me before I lose another moment.