That Four Letter Word

I is for Innocent's Lost

This bar was honestly bigger than the outside made it seemed like. We were in some bar in the city over that Oaks concert would be held at. It had a classic rock vibe to it when the lights were on, but right now, lights were off other than the stage, and bar lit up for concert goers to enjoy the time before the show started. Jo and I made our way to the front toward the right side of the stage, which is where the drums were set up. Tech was checking the mics and lights while the band seemed to mingle behind the curtains.

Innocent's Lost.

The band name was written in white on a black banner hung from the ceiling. The name made me curious, but it was fitting for someone like Oakley. I was a bit nervous seeing him after our little phone call the night before. He seemed so sure of himself that he'd have me begging to sleep with him, but I felt quite the opposite. I was positive, though I'd get d**k tonight. One way or the other I'm finding some slightly attractive and forgettable guy to f**k and not have to worry about names or personalities.

"It's alot more packed than I expected", Jo talked closer to my ear over the chatter and rock music echoing around the bar. I nodded in agreement until I saw Connor and Abigails head weaving through the crowd toward us. Lewis trailed behind with beers in hand before passing it all out for each of us.

"Man Oak must know all kinds of people to have this place THIS packed." Lewis looked around at the crowd. I sipped my drink after wiping the top of the glass. My eyes landed on a patchwork sleeve before trailing up to a set of eyes staring right back at me.

Shit

I looked away before scanning the crowd for potential hookups. Jo noticed my behavior and wrapped her arms around my back, and laid her chin on my shoulder.

"Whatcha lookin for? Oakley is that way, ya know?" The tease of her voice making me huff out.

"f**k Kent. I need a d**k I can forget about."

"So his d**k is unforgettable, huh?" I blushed from her words so thankful that the dark room covered up my embarrassed facial expression.

Connor turned to us. "Who has an unforgettable d**k?" I glared back at Jo, and Connor was grinning toward me. Of course, they knew about graduation night and would tease about how Oakley and I had this tension brewing since high school.

"Yall talking about d**k?" Lewis chimed in and we all couldn't help laugh.

"I heard yall talking about d**k and poof just appeared like a genie rubbing a lamp. Caro, you trynna rub my lamp later?" I felt a tall shadow appear in my peripheral and turned to the voice. Oakley looked delicious in his sleeveless black tank and jeans. His hair was messier and rocking jewelry that just completed his look. If only his mouth was as great as his looks. I deadpanned before huffing. I wasn't ready to see him. I wasn't ready to face the embarrassment of last night. The gang got quiet, smiling and covering their expressions from the obvious flirting.

"Sorry, I have to decline," I closed my eyes, putting my hand up as I tried to show disinterest. I felt a breath close to my ear and peeked to see how close he was to me.

"I'd love to have you c*m for me again", he said just loud enough for me to hear. I bit my cheek, glaring at him, but he just stood up. I noticed Jo behind grinning like a mad woman and knew I'd never year the end of it. "The shows about to start. Thanks for coming, guys." He announced, grabbing his drumsticks from his back pocket. He glanced at me, winking before backing toward the stage.

"Did yall f**k?" Lewis asked getting close to my face. I pushed his forehead back before looking at the stage.

"No."

"Well, it seems like he wants to. Kent used to be so doom and gloom. It's weird seeing him all flirty and smiles," Connor said, wrapping an arm around Lewis.

"I just think he realizes what he missed out on after all this time," Jo stated confidently as she wrapped her arm around mine. I grabbed Abigail with my free hand as we inched closer to the stage. The lights dimmed a bit and the band members went out on stage.

Lyric looked amazing with her braids displaying purple and some charms. Her skirt was a skater style with fishnets covering her legs and arms. She rocked a purple corset top with her bright green bass guitar hanging loosely around her thick frame. Tucker scrawny bean self had his guitar, which was a typical cherry red and long blonde hair pulled in a ponytail and out of his face. It seemed Oakley and him dressed similar except Oakley looked down right delicious in his attire.

"How's it going tonight, everybody?" Tuckers voice had a draw to it. It seemed the crowd was excited for what was to come. "We are so f*****g ready to play for you guys. It's a bit different than our normal venues, but punk is for everyone, ain't that right?" The crowd went crazy and I found myself smiling at the engagement. My eyes looked at each bandmate; Kent being the last. He seemed so pumped, and his eyes landed on us. I loved watching him in his element even if I didn't get along with him. It felt like home for him.

"We are Innocent's Lost. Enjoy!" Oakley announced in the mic before hitting his drumsticks together three times. When they began playing, I felt my chest tighten, and goosebumps erupted down my skin. I didn't expect his playing to have improved to this level, but the crowd was insane singing along to the songs that were written by Lyric as what Connor had said. Tucker voice had range kind of nasaly like Billie Joe Armstrong. Song after song, it was extremely hyped, and Jo and I were enjoying ourselves. Even Lewis was jumping up and down even though he wasn't a huge rock fan. Jumping around, I found myself watching as Oaks arms slammed down at such a fast rate hitting each note. It was mesmerizing. His eyes met mine under his messy hair, and I found myself smiling, which he did in return.

I felt a hand slip onto my upper arm and turned to this older guy. Not bad looking, but definitely a bit older than what I normally showed interest in. He said some compliment and offered to get me a drink. I looked back at the stage seeing Kent jaw clenched focused on the show, but he didn't seem as happy. I wanted to get laid to forget about Oak, but he was trying his hardest to make things up to me, which was definitely questionable. Maybe he's matured a bit. Maybe he wants to just sleep with me. Whatever it was, I didn't feel like jeopardizing that after years of holding a grudge. I turned back, declining his offer, and went back to Jo, who was surprised at me turning the guy down. Secretly, she has been shipping Kent and I since middle school.

The gig finally ended, and many people were leaving. We hung back, waiting for the band to finish packing up. I went to the bar closing my tab when I noticed Oak walk toward the group. I was near to still hearing the conversation now that the place was emptied of a large crowd.

"Dude, we didn't know you played like THAT!" Lewis shook Oakleys shoulders back and forth in excitement. "Look, I ain't no rock n roller, but that s**t had me hyped." He received a smile from that compliment.

"Thanks. I told you we were good." He seemed so confident in his bandmates that it was admiring. He was never fond of his friends. He always teased or said mean things when we were younger. I didn't hear many compliments come out of his mouth back then unless he wanted something in return.

***

November 2012

"You look so so pretty today," I looked up to meet with grey eyes filled with mischief.

"What do you want?" I questioned immediately. Kent doesn't compliment anyone. What is he playing at?

We were now juniors, and Oakley and I were stuck in the majority of the same classes. We both didn't like people, so we decided to sit with each other in most classes, so we didn't have to talk. "Okay, you have class with Claire Brennan next block, right?"

I knew it.

"And?" I glared at him.

"Give this to her for me? Please?" He had a piece of paper folded with Claire scribbled on the side facing up.

"Why would I do that?" I asked, taking the paper anyway. I pretended to unfold it, and his eyes widened before gripping my wrist.

"Caro, I'll kill you if you read that. Just please give it to her. I'll buy you something off campus all week." I closed the note back up and shook his hand off my wrist.

"Fine. I want Chinese for lunch." I slipped the note in my pocket. "Don't compliment people if you don't truly mean it, Kent. That's not cool." I looked straight ahead as I prepared for our AP Chemistry lesson.

"But you do look pretty..." He mumbled, trying not to be heard.

I heard, and I couldn't stop smiling.

***

I slipped my card back into its slot in my wallet as I felt a presence next to me.

"Ya ready?" Jo smiled at me before looking back at Oakley, who was making his way over. I sighed and nodded, moving from the bar up to him.

"So how'd you like it, Caro?" He seemed nervous asking, playing with the hair on the back of his neck.

"It was f*****g great. Honestly, I didn't expect that at all, but I never know what to expect when it comes to you, Kent." I smiled genuinely impressed. Jo nodded next to me in agreement.

"I never know what to expect with you too, Maeve. I'm glad you enjoyed the show, though. I'm probably gonna have a bonfire and drinks at the beach house if yall wanna join?" His eyes never left mine. I really wanted to decline and go home and forget him. This was becoming a lot harder with each interaction.

"I dun-"

"WE WOULD LOVE TO," Jo shouted glaring at me. I looked away at the floor in annoyance. When I glanced up I noticed Oakleys face go back to his stone cold neutral face he usually displays.

"Cool see ya then," he turned quickly glancing back at me before strutting off to his bandmates prepping to leave.

"Girl you can't just diss him. He's trying to make things cool between yall." I knew she was right but I still had this grudge against him. He was so hot and cold sometimes I didn't know how to feel. I always felt like we were similar magnets always resisting each other until he got into these moods that I completely feel drawn to him I never want to let go.

"Wanna go home and get bikinis?" I looked at her and glared. "Fine ill skinny dip in the pool if I have to. It's not like I haven't before." I giggled at the memory.

"I'm not swimming."

***

"CONNOR WHAT THE f**k?" I screamed as I surfaced from the deep end of Oakley's inground pool. The boys were laughing and I was doing my best to stay afloat but my Dr. Martens were weighing me down. Lewis swam over helping me get to the edge. I pulled myself up feeling my hair stick to my face and clothes cling to me. I was glaring at the group as I untied my shoes.

"Need a towel?" I laughed sarcastically before looking at the towel being offered. Tucker looked sympathetic as I immediately felt bad.

"Oh sorry... thanks." I wrapped myself and finished untying my boots placing them close to the fire to dry. I shivered a bit sitting by the fire in a chair and hoped I didn't look crazy.

"You look like a sad raccoon." I closed my eyes trying to keep my composure.

"Wow that's so sweet of you to say. You must be the trash then." I gave a smile.

"I mean explains why you want me so much," Oakley grinned in his chair man spreading watching my shocked expression. He always has to one up me in these situations. "Why so quiet Caro?"

"I'm cold." I muttered.

"It's like 80 degrees and you're by a fire. Just say "you win oakley" rather than lie." I glared now standing up and throwing a middle finger. I slipped inside going to the bathroom looking at my reflexion.

I did look like a raccoon. f**k me.

I fixed myself up and felt confined in my wet clothing. I hated the feeling of wet clothes clinging to my skin. It felt gross like washing dishes and feeling wet food at the bottom.

I opened the door to see a chest and looked up.

"Want some fresh clothes?"

"Huh?" I looked down to see dry clothes in Oakleys hands. How did he know?

"Jo said you hate wet clothes and I remember the last time we threw you in the pool you threw a huge fit about wet clothes being like a snake in old skin or something." His cheeks pinked a bit at the memory and I blushed aswell.

"Thank you." I took the clothes and closed the door to change.

The f**k? Why is he being so different?

***

November 2012

"What's up with him?" Lewis walked over to our spot, glancing at 6 had his hood on laying face down on the table.

"He got rejected by Claire Brennan." Connor snickered, wrapping his arm around Olivia, who he was dating at the time.

"Damn. She's like super hot man. I'm surprised she didn't want your emo ass," Lewis teased. Oak glared at him before laying his head down, watching Jo and I near the table with our trays. He grabbed my juice, and my jaw dropped.

"Hey! I was gonna drink that," I pouted, and he just chugged it all. Jo snickered and handed me hers, which I smiled before watching his hand reach for that one as well.

"I'm depressed lemme have it," he said as we fought over the juice.

"Boohoo, you got rejected. You'll live. Now me? I won't live without this juice. It'll be a death by no juice." I dramatically said, hopping to his bench fighting for the drink.

"I'll bring juice to your funeral," he smirked as he opened and licked the rim of the drink. My face reddened seeing the action. My mind got hazy, and I just sat there watching him drink the entire bottle. I mean he was just drinking a drink so why was I thinking about how it would feel if his tongue was on me? "Here ya go." He handed me an empty bottle before standing up and patting my head. "Thanks for the juice, Caro. I think it cured my heartbreak."

"YOU HAVE NO HEART KENT!" I screamed, throwing the empty bottle at his head.

***

I walked out in the t-shirt, deciding against the shorts and staying in my wet panties. We were all adults, and I just didn't care if anyone saw my ass since we were all close except his bandmates.

"I see cheeks," Jo screamed from the pool giggling as I gave her the middle finger. I sat at the edge, dipping my feet in while she came over to me. "You look good in his clothes." I blushed, looking away. "Cmoooon Mae Mae, you know you're attracted to him. I mean, he's hot. He is so into you, too. He's staring you down like his next meal right now. Why not just have some summer fun?" I looked down at her actually considering her.

"I dunno. Things ended weird. He wants to be friends again. s*x will ruin that." I muttered, keeping my voice low.

"Well, yeah, it could. Honestly, that's impressive he wants to mend the friendship, though. He's definitely changed a whole lot since high school." Jo swam back before paddling over to Tucker. She began flirting, and I felt myself smiling. Tucker seemed like the socially awkward type, which was polar opposite of Jo. They liked really good together, though.

A figure dipped her light pink toenails into the water and smiled at me. Lyric was gorgeous. Any black alt-girls dream model. She was curvy and always looked good when I saw her. I felt like she would be a good friend.

"I've heard such great things about you, Maeve."

"I doubt that..." I glanced up at Oak, who was laughing with Connor about something.

"He said you're the reason he even started a band." My eyes widened as I met her genuine smile. I felt a bit of a loss of words before looking down at my feet swaying.

"I mean, I just said it as a joke. His parents were really unsupportive back then. I just didn't understand why anyone wouldn't support someone else's dream. My parents were supportive all the time, even if it was something they didn't agree with. They'd question until they realized what I loved about it and respected that. His parents didn't give him a chance. He's happiest when he's playing the drums. I've seen him improve over the years, and tonight was the moment I realized this was definitely it for him."

Lyric hummed in agreement as she followed the rhythm my feet swirled in. "He cares about you guys a lot. He is always talking about memories from back in the day, but your name always pops up. Did you guys date?"

"No, no, noooo. Kent and I? Absolutely not. We were more like sworn enemies than anything. He was always teasing the s**t out of me." I found myself peeking from Lyric to Oakley.

"Enemies? So enemies to lovers is y'all's story," She giggled, wiggling her pierced eyebrows.

"Wha-" I widened my eyes.

"I know you guys slept together graduation night. Oak told me when he was really drunk. Said he lost his virginity to you," She stated, looking over at him.

"Wait... what?" That came to a shock for me. Nine years, and I'm just finding out that we both lost our virginity that night. That horrible night was everything to me until he said such hateful things. "He didn't tell me that was his first." It came out as a whisper, and I saw her bite her lip.

"Don't worry. I'm not into guys. I just think you might be good for him. And if not, I'm always free." She winked, and I giggled, pushing her softly.

"Caro?" I tilted my head back to see Oakley squatted down behind me. I hummed in response. "Can we talk?"

I turned around, slipping legs out the water as he helped me up.

"I think we should."