That Four Letter Word

S is for Savior

We weaved our way through the hallways until I entered his old bedroom. Rock posters littered the walls, and the dark decor felt welcoming. The room was untouched other than the duffel bag in the corner and sheets messed up on the bed. I almost sat on his bed, forgetting my panties were still a bit wet from the pool and he just said it was fine. Scooting back until my back hit the wall, I watched as he sat at his desk chair swaying back and forth awkwardly.

"So..." I started fiddling with my fingers.

"So... uh... I'm sorry about being a d**k yesterday." He held his head down, peeking up at me before leaning onto his knees.

"Oh. It's okay. I'm used to you being a dick." I smiled a little seeing him do the same. "I-" I took a deep breath before scooting to the edge of the bed, ignoring the fact his shirt rode up and my thighs and panties were on full display. It didn't go unnoticed to him. "Is it true graduation night was your first?"

He seemed surprised. I asked that because his mouth was opened and eyebrows raised while straightening himself in the chair. He took a moment and deep breath before nodding.

"I always thought you hooked up with people... I didn't know..." I muttered to myself. I felt a hand grabbing mine.

"Does it really matter?"

I looked up, shaking my head and realizing how close we got. "I mean no, but also... you knew it was my first. It should have been special, but I mostly just remember us fighting."

"I know... I'm sorry." His voice sounded genuine, and I smiled, squeezing his hand. "Honestly, that night was amazing to me, I always push people away. I started feeling things Maeve and I don't really know... I was stupid."

I hummed. "Stupid kids." He chuckled at that before I felt a hand run up my other leg.

"But I wanted to talk about something else." I looked up and realized how close his face had gotten. "Was that phone call an accident or on purpose?"

I blushed and felt my hands reach back to create some space. "ACCIDENT!"

A slow grin made a way to his face as he lifted from the chair towering over me. "I believe you, but I'm so glad it happened. You have no idea how hard I was at that beach party hearing you moan into you pillow like a desperate little slut." I swallowed hard feeling my breath become ragged.

Oh god. I'm gonna get eaten.

"I loved hearing you listen to everything I was telling you. The noises you were making was addicting. I ended up going to my car and stroking my c**k to the sound. I could've gotten caught Caro. Public indecency all because you were f*****g horny." He teased as I licked my lips. He watched the action before raising his eyes to me. "I'm gonna kiss you now."

I nodded leaning toward him feeling his lips brush against mine. My body tingled in anticipation and my core burned with desire. He seemed so patient while I was the opposite. I huffed and grabbed the back his neck pressing his lips to mine. I could feel the smile on his lips as I moaned into his mouth hungry to finally have a taste. His tongue grazed mine and I felt my stomach flutter at the feeling. He gripped my legs and pushed me up the bed until he laid on top. His movements made my skin raise with bumps and I felt a shiver down my spine as his fingers ran up my thigh in slow meticulous movements. His fingers raised his shirt up my chest before slow circles around my n*****s caused me to release his lips and bury my face into his chest. His low chuckle had me burn with embarrassment as his mouth lower and kissed around my n****e in slow sloppy pecks.

A knock wrapped on the door and Tucker muttered something about the fire and I heard Oak groan. "Coming." He sat up looking at my flushed state. His fingers ruffled his hair in frustration before pointing to me, "Stay here." He commanded and left downstairs readjusting himself. A few seconds later Jo appeared in the room and ran over to me grinning. She stumbled with each step while leaving damp footsteps in the carpet.

"Yall gonna f**k?" I flicked her head trying to keep composed. Her late reaction confirmed she was in fact tore up from the floor up.

"No." I looked away and sighed. Honestly I thought I needed d**k tonight. I wanted to get laid and forget all about Oakley Kent and his dumb hot face. I knew the truth. I wasn't ready to kiss or even f**k Oakley. I needed to understand this confusing tension between us. He wanted to be friends, but here we are kissing in his bedroom like teens again. Probably my fault for but dialing him, but we have so much we really need to talk about.

"Well if not I'm ready to go home." Jo rubbed her cheek against mine affectionately.

"Just spend the night Jo," Oak said irritated from the doorway. I sighed and stood up placing Jo's arm around my neck. I could tell he was frustrated from being interrupted and cockblocked.

"She has work tomorrow Kent. I gotta get her home." I didn't really want to leave, but it felt about time. The realization of what was about to happen helped me come to my senses. I wasn't ready for him.

"Well... be careful and let me know when you both make it home." I was surprised by the request and noticed he seem a bit upset. Oakley wasn't upset about being cockblocked at all. He was frustrated instead of talking like he wanted to, he went straight to making out with her. He was just supposed to talk, but every time she made eye contact he wanted nothing more than to pin her to the bed and kiss her til the sun came up.

"I will." I smiled and began the walk to the car. I made sure to grab our stuff before saying bye to everyone. Getting her into the car was very difficult and I'm surprised I somehow managed.

After dropping Jo off I made my way home and felt a buzz.

The Asshole

Thank you for coming.

I smiled looking at the screen. He wasn't one to show gratitude. Was he thanking me for coming to the concert? Maybe for hanging out the beach house? The kiss? I figured it was the first seeing as I've always supported his music passion growing up.

Maeve

Thanks for having me

The Asshole

I wish you would've stayed longer. I was enjoying myself.

Maeve

I bet you were lol

The Asshole

Oh don't pretend I was the only one. Your legs were clenching around me I'm positive with one thrust I'd have you c*m.

I blushed down at the phone trying to hide my grin. I was thankful no one could see how worked up I was getting. Even if I wasn't ready for THAT with him... flirting wasn't a complete no.

Maeve

Goodnight Kent.

I plugged my phone up and changed into some comfy clothes before hopping into bed.

***

January 2013

"C-ro... Caro... CARO!" I was shaken awake by my classmate Penn. I looked up at her worried expression. "Are you okay?" Her hand shot to my forehead, and she immediately pulled her hand away. "You're burning up..."

Now I shuffled toward the nurses office but stopped in the middle of the cross section seeing Oak and Olivia pressed against a locker making out. His hands were down the front of her skirt as she began to grind on the flat of his palm. Out in the open. He's fingering her... out in the open. I didn't expect that at all. Definitely since Olivia was dating Connor. I just started considering maybe my fever was making this illusion up or maybe I'm dead.

"The f**k are you looking at Maeve?" Olivia snapped at her hair a mess and orange line of foundation smeared all over Oakley's black hoodie. She was completely out of breath but that thin drawn line she calls an eyebrow was raised at me as if I'M the pervert.

"A cheating bitch."

I was a bit surprised I said that so easily. I've been trying my hardest to make amends with Olivia but this was a whole new level of anger. How dare she hookup with Oakley when Connor has been nothing but loyal. He's so sweet to her even when she complains or has an attitude about literally everything.

And Oakley to just makeout with the girl his friend is dating is beyond betrayal. I glared at her before looking at him. He seemed a bit upset or disappointed in himself. Which he should.

I shook my head and began walking before I heard tiny flats slapping the ground toward me.

"You can't tell Connor." She said eyes focused on mine. Her hand gripped my upper arm making the spot burn up more from the contact. How dare she? I've known Connor much longer than her and he doesn't deserve this at all.

"Of course I'm telling him. You've been a shady b***h since day one Olivia. You aren't a real friend to anyone. You've been so self absorbed and looking down at everyone. You secretly would slut shame Jo for all the boys she crushed meanwhile you're sitting here letting Kent scissor f**k your holy v****a. I bet you think the loophole to being Christian and not a slut is having your ass f****d too. You ruined your friendship with Connor, Jo, and Me. All for Oakley f*****g Kent. There is nothing oh so special about him. You really have no f*****g clue do you? Connor is the most amazing, sweetest down to f*****g earth person in this world. He would do anything for you and you throw away that for a guy who will never have an ounce of feeling for anyone but himself? Wow that's real great of you. Shows your character for sure." I was livid. I felt myself getting lightheaded either from the fever or from the anger but I turned to Oakley who slowly walked toward us with the neutral face he had when he would get scolded by his parents or teachers. "And you Oakley. I'm so disappointed that you'd even do this to Connor. You said you never wanted some virgin Christian b***h that won't ever f**k or kiss you. Guess it was a surprise when she actually would huh? You're like every other guy. Stoop low just to get your d**k wet." I gulped when he grabbed the collar of my hoodie and raised me on my toes.

"Watch it Caro. You're really pissing me off," his teeth were clench and I swore I thought he was going to punch me. Olivia grabbed his arm thinking he was possibly taking it to far, but he shrugged her off and continued to pull me closer til our nose touched.

"Good. Then that means what I'm saying is true. All I see when I look at you Kent, is wasted potential." Our eyes didn't separate until he pushed me down. I stumbled back trying to catch my footing and picked up my bag that somehow fell from my arm through the argument.

I turned and made my way to the nurses office and when I was in the clear pulled my phone out.

Mae-caroni

Connor. I'm sorry, but I saw Olivia and Oakley in the hallway together. I think you should talk with them about what I saw. I love you and I'm here if you need anything. <3

The Con-man

Doing what exactly? You're making me nervous Mae Mae. I'm sure it was nothing. They are alway hanging out.

Mae-caroni

Just talk to Olivia first.

I went home after getting picked up from my dad. He never took days off unless needed, but he could tell I wasn't feeling well. He set me up in the living room with ABC soup and crackers and turned on the Lifetime channel to watch some cheesy thrillers with me. His fingers ran through my hair as we laughed about how obvious the killer was.

When my mom got home she took over taking care and finally I told them both about what they saw. They said I was brave to stand up for my friend. Connor didn't deserve that kind of betrayal. Jo ended up calling explaining that Connor dumped Olivia and got into a huge fight with Oakley. I was surprised Connor would get physical but I knew how much he liked Olivia and understood sometimes you get caught up in the moment. Oakley and I have bickered and said mean things that resulted in us ignoring each other for a few days. This felt like something more. I just knew going back to school was going to result in a lot of tension in the four classes we had together.

***

Fever gone and feeling refreshed I was packing my bag getting ready to leave the house when I felt a buzz.

The Con-man

I'm outside my beautiful loving amazing scrumdillyumptious Mae Mae

I rolled my eyes and peeked out the front door seeing Connors bright red Jeep parked in the driveway. I locked up and headed toward the vehicle before my face dropped seeing who was in the passenger seat. I looked straight to Connor who gave an awkward smile and tried to decide if the long ass walk to school seemed like a better decision. I began walking to my bike before Connor stood up out the roof and yelled to me.

"It's okay Maeve. We made up! Cmooon this is way faster. You can even sit in my lap or honk the horn!" I gave him the finger as I struggled to get my bike unchained. I groaned and kicked it taking deep breaths. "You can kick me too if it will make you feel better." I stormed over to the car and pulled myself into the backseat and buckled glaring at the back of Oakley's head.

"I'm kicking you in the face."

"Deal."

The car ride was so awkward. I was sick for a week and he's already made up with him? Guys are so weird, but I guess Olivia was the major problem. No one ever holds Oakley accountable though. They always say 'He's going through something' or 'You know how he is'. Which is exactly what Connor is explaining to me as we are walking to our bench. Kent was falling behind glaring at the back of my head while I complain about how much of a shitty person he is. Connor just kissed my forehead before going get some breakfast from the cafeteria.

I awkwardly sat down while he did the same across taking out his phone.

I hear a cough and turn to see a very tall senior I've seen in the hallways. "You're Maeve Caro, right?" I looked around and noticed Kent looking up at the dude uninterested before going back to his phone.

"Yeah, why?" I muttered pushing my hair back consciously. He was really cute with dark brown hair and some thing framed glasses. Jo used to call him Korean Hottie because his family own a Korean restaurant not far from my place and he got first place on the robotics team 3 years in a row. Ji-ho I think is his name.

"U-uh I'm Ji-ho. I know I'm like a year older than you, but I think you're like really pretty and we actually have AP Chemistry together. I was wondering if I could take you out on a date?" He rushed that all out so fast that it took me a minute to comprehend what he said. That seemed to make him think I was rejecting him because he seemed to deflate. I heard a snort and glared back at Kent who seemed ready to fight the guy.

"I'd love that Ji-ho. I'm free this weekend." I shocked myself with how confident I acted. I've been asked one dates, but I always declined because of anxiety.

"Absolutely, uh here, can I get your number?" He started pulling out his phone from the front pocket of his jeans. I unlocked mine and handed it to him while typing my info into his phone. "I'll shoot a text later, yeah?" I nodded a blush painting my cheeks as he smiled walking away.

"HOLY s**t! Did you just accept a date with Korean Hottie?" Jo ran over wide eyed and jaw open. "This is so exciting. I'm coming over to doll you up. Maybe finally you can get your first kiss!" I glared at her for screaming that so loud before pinching her arm.

"OW!"

"Damn Caro you still haven't kissed someone? You're a junior. That's pretty f*****g sad." Now his phone laid face down on the table fully intrigued in this new fact.

"I'm not just putting my lips on anybody. Too many germs. Plus I want my first kiss to be romantic," I pouted looking away from them to wear Ji-Ho was talking to his friends. He glanced over with a small smile before laughing at something.

"It's just a kiss." I glared at Kent. He was insufferable sometimes.

"Trust me. I know it is to you since you had your tongue down Olivia's throat."

"And fingers deeeeep in her p***y," He said with a smirk causing my face to bloom red. I stood up shaking my head and walked in the direction of class that didn't start for another fifteen minutes.

***

"This seems like... a lot," I muttered looking at my now straight hair and pale blue dress that clung to my figure. It was really pretty, but it didn't feel like me.

"You look great! You'll definitely kiss after your amazing date!" Jo was so excited slowly brushing a pretty blush on my cheeks. I looked pretty which was rare for me. I was pretty insecure about my looks even though every constantly told me how gorgeous I really was.

"Okay then. I'm ready for my date!" I said as I stood up. I slipped sandals on that had a small chunky heel and looked at my reflection. It was giving soft girl which was not what I would describe myself as. I walked down the steps hearing the doorbell ring. Ji-Ho stood there conversing with my parents before smiling at me.

"You look amazing," His voice was soft and I believed him.

He took me to this nice pizzeria and ice cream shop that was high up for you to see the ocean. It was calming hearing the waves because that's how his voice sounded. Soft and steady but powerful behind is words. He was passionate about robots and wanted to work for NASA and create new technology to discover other things out in space. It was cool to hear about. He honestly didn't ask much about me though. I figured it was because he was nervous.

We decided to park at the beach and walk a little. The sun set and we were walking hand in hand. I was nervous thinking he'd kiss me soon, but instead he sat me down in the sand and we enjoyed the quiet chilly night. That was until I felt a hand glide under my dress. I looked down and looked at him in shock. He leaned down and began kissing and nibbling my neck; his hand inched higher pressing against my panties. My eyes pricked with tears before pushing him away. He seemed irritated now, "What's the problem? Don't you want to make this date wonderful? We are having some fun, Maeve." I shook my head fast backing up. "Olivia said you'd be fun. The hell?" He stood up marching to his car leaving me there in the dark on the beach.

The f**k do I do now? I can't call Jo she'd feel so upset. Not my parents. Connor was on a date himself. Lewis... wasn't too dependable with this type of s**t. I looked at my phone glaring at one number I never thought I'd wanna call. Oakley b***h.

The tone dialed once, twice, and I thought it would go to voicemail until I heard, "What the f**k do you want?" I don't even know why, but I couldn't help sniffling and breaking down on the phone. "Woah woah Caro calm down. What the f**k happened? Where are you?" He seemed to realize how upset I was. I somehow told him where I was at and noticed his dad's GMC pull up. Oakley hopped out the passenger side to where I sat crying on the bench and pulled me into the backseat. His dad looked sympathetically toward me in the back. His dad always seemed to like me. Probably because I put his son in his place a lot, but the feeling was never mutual. They pulled up to their beach house and I was brought in straight to Oakley's room.

"Wanna explain what happened?" I bit the side of my cheek gripping my dress. I could still feel his hands and lips and the memory caused me to shake. "Hey... you're safe now, but what happened, Maeve. I gotta know. Do I need to beat that prick up or what?" I looked up at him with tears slowly streaking down my face. He turned and grabbed a tissue box and let me dab my face and nose.

"After dinner we... we went to the beach and it was like super romantic," I saw his eyes roll but he nodded for me to continue. "We sat in the sand and he started.. h-he started trying to touch me and bite my... my neck," his eyes shifted down seeing he red marks. I've seen Oakley pissed off plenty of times, but he seemed so calm while his eyes darkened.

"Touch you where Maeve?"

My eyes widened as he held eye contact. I looked down, but felt a hand grip my face in order for my eyes to meet his. "Touch. You. Where. Maeve."

"My underwear..." I whispered and he stood up quickly grabbing his jacket. I stood quickly grabbing his shoulder. "Oak wait..."

He glared back at me before taking in my vulnerable state. "Shower all that crap off you and I'll get you clothes. Sleep here tonight. I'll handle Ji-Ho another day." I slid my hand from his shoulder down to his hand and gripped it.

"He said Olivia told him... I was fun..." My voice cracked and I tried to hold back any more tears. I hated crying in front of people, but crying in front of him... I hated him seeing me weak.

"I'll handle her too," his voice was so sure and I felt the squeeze of his hand. "Mae Mae... let's get you cleaned up." He slid his jacket onto the chair and walked to find some fresh clothes and towels.

It didn't take me long to get freshened up and I did cry a bit more in the shower. I sent a text to my mom saying I'd spend the night at a friends. I pushed his door open seeing him sit on his bed with a laptop in hand; his eyes met mine. He patted his bed and I closed the door sitting next to him. He was trying to find a movie to watch. I smiled pointing at The Conjuring and we settled. He had drinks and turned the lights off laying together. Halfway through the movie I felt his hand reach to hold mind and I let him. I hated Oakley Kent, but I decided his comfort was okay for now.

I somehow fell asleep through the movie and woke up to a pitch black room. The laptop was now on the desk and I noticed Kent asleep on the floor on a pillow with a thin blanket. I slipped down shaking him awake. "Wake up.... Sleep in the bed." He grumbled awake slipping in next to me and I was happy that he didn't give much of an attitude about it.

I closed my eyes as we faced each other. "Hey, Caro..." I hummed listening to his sleepy voice. "Did you get your first kiss?" I opened my eyes seeing his staring back.

"No." His hand raised up and fingers pushed my hair behind my ears.

"Do you still want it?" He whispered as his breath fanned my lips. I found myself nodding as I inched closer as well. "Okay..."

He leaned forward pressing his lips softly against mine as he breathed in deeply. My breath hitched at the unfamiliar feeling, but my hands found its way to his chest gripping his shirt. He pulled away looking at my face for a reaction. I couldn't help to laugh softly into his chest which he did the same in return. "Thanks, Oakley..."

"Anything for you, Maeve," he whispered softly into my hair. We fell asleep.

***

"f**k JI-HO! He is not Korean Hottie. More like Korean Thottie!" Jo was ready to start a war after hearing what happened. Oak ended up finding him and his friends the next day after school and beating the s**t out of Ji-ho. He was sporting a black eye and swollen jaw now. As for Olivia she got a good talking to from Oak as well. I was surprised he was being this way, but Connor had said Oak wanted to prove to you that he wasn't some disappointment like I said during the hallway incident.

"He's a douche," Oak said tossing a fry in his mouth.

"And that's coming from you," snickered Lewis before getting a fry thrown at his face. "Damn man not my face. It's too pretty for grease. Anyway... Prom is around the corner. Y'all got dates?" I groaned slamming my head on the table. The word date was horrible. Jo smiled at Lewis. " I'm gonna take our very own miss Jo." I popped my head up.

"Like as friends?" They both nodded and I smiled. "You can do that?" They laughed before nodding again. I started thinking of who I could ask. Maybe Connor...

Oak cleared his throat and glanced at me. "What?" I asked before thinking of our kiss. "I-uh..." I stood up and went to dump my fully plated tray.

"What's her problem?" Lewis muttered and Jo shrugged. Oakley just grinned staring at my retreating figure. "What did you do now, Kent?"

"Nothing..." He muttered and noticed Jo's eyes. She whispered something to Lewis making him run to the vending machine.

"Spill it." He sighed and shook his head. "NOW." Jo could be scary sometimes.

"We kissed." He stated as nonchalantly as he could, but he was nervous to hear what she might have had to say.

"WHAT? She didn't tell me at all. She doesn't even like you, but I'm a bit surprised. Did you take advantage of her while she was vulnerable?" She glared at him.

"No. I asked and she said yes. I mean I thought maybe something good could come out of that shitty day she had." His cheeks reddened before standing with his tray. Jo smiled knowing damn well her ship might possibly be sailing after all this time.