That Four Letter Word

O is for Olivia

"You're the same as before Maeve. You really haven't changed that attitude, but at least you dress nice now," Oakley rolled his eyes before turning to his friends saying something about grabbing a drink.

I breathed in slowly before my glare landed on Jo. She looked at me before whistling and acting as if the roof was the most interesting thing she has ever seen even though she had a whole guy around her arm.

"I'm not gonna say anything... but a warning would have been nice", I whispered over to her before looking back at the muscular back whose satin shirt sat snug against his frame. He was smiling with his bandmates. He always had such a warm smile. God, he looked really good... he used to be so scrawny.

***

October 2010

"Maeve, you've been volunteering every weekend! Homecoming is literally next week, and you don't have a dress or a date." Jo hung to my arm, complaining. Olivia clung to my other arm as we shuffled down the hallway.

"We are freshmen... why does it matter?" I groaned, looking up at the freshly painted ceilings of our public school.

"Because! This isn't some winter formal middle school dance! IT IS HOMECOMING!" Jo squealed as we made our destination in front of my AP English class. "We are going to go dress shopping tomorrow! I'm texting your mom! Also, have fun in your nerd class." Olivia giggled following Jo as I stepped into class, staring at the bright pink decor that's supposed to brighten our day. I found my seat in the middle toward the window before slipping into the dual table. A loud thud with the feet of the chair scrapping caused my head to snap and stare at my annoying culprit.

Oakley was always a good-looking guy. During freshman year, he was skinny but towered over most of the kids in our grade. His hair was very Justin Bieber in the 'Baby' music video, and he wore a lot of skater-style merch. His face had a few acne spots, but he was still attractive atleast until he opened his mouth.

"Ew... my day is ruined." I stuck my tongue out before pulling my binder out.

"Yeah, mine was ruined the moment I saw that s**t bleach job of a mop in the courtyard," he snapped, leaning back in his chair and glaring at the desk.

OUCH. My mom wanted me to have a new look, hence my dark brown hair being pulled through a cap and bleached a honey color that looked absolutely atrocious, but supposedly it's what was trending...

"Someone's in a s**t mood," I whispered, peeking at him. "I should stab you with my pencil for that... but um.. are you okay?" I honestly had no idea why I was asking him this. Why should I be concerned about someone who is always mean to me?

"Like you care, Caro." He looked away at the doorway and clock that was bolted to the wall counting down each second we were stuck in this class together.

"I mean... we not might be friends or whatever, but if something is bothering you, Oak... I'm a good listener. "I looked down at my desk as I picked at the skin on my cuticles. My chipped nails seemed like the only thing I could look at when I felt a piercing gaze toward me.

"My dad said no to joining the drum line at band. He said it's a waste of time", He said lowly the disappointment obvious in his voice.

"Whaaat, you're so good at the drums, though!" I surprised myself with my outburst. " I mean... that's dumb. Parents are weird." I started playing with the fried ends of my hair before peaking up at an amused face.

"Yeah... parents are weird", his voice was soft as his eyes searched mine for something.

Ba-dump.

I breathed in sharply, looking forward. "Anyway... I'd join anyway. You don't need your parent's permission to join band. It's not a sport. What about your mom?"

"She agrees to anything my asshole of a dad says."

I actually might sympathize with Oakley Kent. I never had to worry about that. My mother was super supportive but strict in her own loving way like no boyfriends, and my dad may have worked a lot, but his family's happiness came first.

"Why not start it as a hobby then? Start a band", I said jokingly before getting shushed by our English teacher. What an idea.

***

"So Caro, rescuing baby dolphins and s**t yet?" I looked up to the grey eyes staring down at me. His frame towered over me and i watched as the tiny straw squished between his lips as he took a sip of the brown liquid in his cup. When the hell did he come back?

"Quite the opposite. She is the store manager at a cosmetic store, "Connor said, proud of my position. It wasn't my dream, but he knew I found a passion in what I do. I wasn't some big shot accountant or pharmacist, but finding something I show interest in was something Connor always envied. He followed his father's footsteps rather than being a comedian like he dreamed of in high school.

"Oh. Sounds lame. "I spit my drink into my cup and glared at Oakley's bored expression. He just always had to push me.

"I like my job, thank you very much!"

"Do you love it?"

I looked at him with a shocked expression. That damn four-letter word...

"I take that as a no."

FUCKING SMART ASS!

"Ya know what Oakley? You haven't changed either. You're still this self-righteous prick who thinks he knows every little thing about-" I stopped feeling my head spin slightly. Oh no... Not the spins. I'm drunk.

"Ooooh no!" I felt Connor grab one of my arms as Abigail grabbed the other.

"FuUUCK yooOOoou Oakley!" I slurred sticking my tongue out at him.

"I already have and it was mediocre", he tilted his head to the side smirking. My eyes widened, and I shrugged them off me stumbling toward him and poked a finger to his big sexy chest.

"I HATE you with a passion Kent!" I turned around stumbling toward the exit with Connor following behind.

"I'm gonna grab her an Uber."

"Connor... why? I just don't get why he is always so SO mean!" I turned to him my throat tightening as my eyes bounced back and forth from the door and Connor's freckled face.

"I honestly have no idea, Mae Mae. Y'all have always bickered after Senior Prom... just things seem weird. I mean it's been almost 10 years since you've last seen him. I thought things would be different since graduation." His voice was low and concerned as he pet the side of my hair.

"Well he's a prick now and back then. I don't wanna see him anymore", I looked at the silver Altima pulling up to the curb with the Uber sticker on the back window.

"Yeah... about that. He's down for the whole summer apparently", Connor backed away slowly as I paused with my fingers around the door.

"Oh f**k me..." I looked up at the night starry sky cursing whatever higher being wanted to make my day a living hell.

Home. I don't love home. It's relaxing and I have my cat Jinx who I think secretly hates me. Home feels like a temporary space I take up until I die or decide to move on. Regardless of my black and emerald green decor and many favorite decorations and books... it never feels complete. Jinx well, I adopted her from the Humane Society after she was put on the kill list. She's a bit older and very cranky, but she was a gorgeous Maine Coon that loves to leave hair on all of my clothes, furniture, and carpet.

"Jinx... you like me right?" I asked as I plopped on my bed next to her. Her head turned to me before standing up and jumping down from my bed.

At least I didn't ask if she loved me.

My eyes closed after minutes of the room spinning.

***

Homecoming 2010

I walked into the horribly decorated gymnasium made to look like something from Great Gatsby looking around for the crew before making my way through the double doors toward the bathrooms. Giggling subsided as the older students looked at me making my way to the sink before continuing.

I looked at my silver bedazzled dress with a flowing skirt. It was a hand-me-down from my cousin who had a lot more boobs than I did. I looked awkward and honestly, the dress wasn't cute at all.

"OH! Mae we were looking for you!" I turned to see Jo and Olivia entering the bathroom giggling amongst themselves. "You look... good. Yeah good."

"So good", Olivia added giving a reassuring smile even though her thinly plucked eyebrows gave the obvious expression she was lying. I didn't mind Olivia. Jo and she have been friends since middle school, but I feel she puts up with me. Olivia is much more conservative and always feels out of place with my blunt and foul language. She seems like a good friend even though I catch the stares she sends Jo every time Jo finds a new boy to crush over. Lewis is her victim this week.

"Thanks."

We walked out heading back into the gym and hearing a Flo Rida song play. The table we headed toward had Connor bouncing up and down with a bright red tie wrapped around his forehead. Lewis wore a classic black and white tux, and he was very fit. He played on our baseball team and Jo had a thing for athletes since we started here. Then there was Oakley in a black button-up with his sleeves rolled up his scrawny arms and black jeans to match.

"Hey guys!" Olivia announced our present before she made her way to sit next to Oakley. "Hey Oak..." She twirled her ash brown hair around her finger biting her lip in a way to seem innocent yet flirty. My face showed obvious disgust because Olivia gave me a face to say 'go away'.

I moved to Connor and put my hand out. "Shall we show everyone how to Bunny Hop my lord?"

"We shall!" He smiled taking my hand as we started strutting our way to the group of students on the dance floor. Lewis and Jo followed behind as we all started dancing in sync.

"Oh my god! Connor and Maeve are dancing MACHINES!" Lewis laughed as we headed to the table. Olivia sat with her back and turned away from Oakley as he looked annoyed and ready to escape. "Olivia you wanna go dance?"

"No." She looked over at us with this rude look on her face before getting up and leaving the gym.

"What's wrong with her?" Jo said concerned.

I turned to Oakley glaring, "What the hell did you do?"

He looked at me and stood up getting in my face. "I didn't do s**t, but tell her I don't wanna date some boring little Christian who thinks kissing let alone f*****g is a sin." My eyes widened at his words before they shifted to the doors she escaped.

"The f**k is wrong with you?" I whispered harshly to him before grabbing Jo and heading to Olivia.

We entered the girl's bathroom hearing a sniffle from the handicapped stall.

"Olive? You in there?" Jo asked sweetly knocking on the stall door.

"Go away..." She muffled out through a wad of toilet paper.

"Look Oakley is a d**k. You can do so much better." I grabbed the top of the stall door and pulled myself until I was looking down at her. "Date me. I'll treat you good!"

She let out a weak laugh looking up at me. "You're gonna break the door."

"You calling me fat?" I glared at her playfully. "Come on out please?"

"Okay..." I slid down the door my feet landing with a slap since I discarded the ugly bedazzled heels at the group table. I stepped back hearing the door unlock and a mess of hair come out. "He was mean. I've had a huge crush since we started this year, and I just thought... maybe I had a chance."

"Look Oli... Oakley has a lot going on okay? I think dating is the last thing he needs. Also he's annoying and a d**k", I stated fixing her straight hair and looking at her. Jo came over wiping the smeared mascara.

"Yeah, he's a mess. You're a mess. Mess plus mess equals BP Oil spill mess." I glared at her and she smiled awkwardly. "Too soon?"

"Wait, Mae, how do you know he has stuff going on?" Olivia looked at me eyes suspicious.

"He let some stuff slip up, but I can't tell anyone. It's not my place to", I stated stepping back and fixing my hair in the mirror. I noticed how Olivia's eyes stayed on my face with a set glare. "I don't like him. Quite the opposite."

"Yeah if you don't like him then why does he talk to you and not anyone else about personal stuff?" She pointed her finger accusingly. My head whipped back in shock as I stared at her.

"He could've told Connor or Lewis. It just slipped. Why does it matter so much?" I snapped back folding my arms.

"Never mind... you are hiding stuff. Right Jo?" She looked at Jo and the air got tense. My head couldn't wrap around this childish accusation.

"I mean Maeve... it's weird", Jo said, looking at me shyly.

My lips parted in shock before I stormed out of the bathroom and headed into the gym. I found the table going under the skirt, finding my heels and purse before reappearing. They still didn't come back, and Connor and Lewis were back on the floor dancing. I looked back at the table, feeling tears burning my eyes.

"Mae... you good?" I looked up and met with Oakley's concerned face. I don't think I've ever seen that expression on him before. His thumb grazed my arm while looking down and my eyes looked at the place of contact. I sniffled feeling my lips wobble shaking my head. "Shit... uh... how about we wait outside and you call your mom?"

I nodded walking with him out of the gym to the entrance doors. Olivia and Jo passed by watching and most likely judging. We pushed the heavy doors open before sitting on the curb. My fingers pressed the contact labeled 'Mother Dearest <3' and I sent a quick text saying I was ready to go.

"So... what happened?" I looked up seeing Oakley leaning back with his hands behind him as his head fell back. Somehow in that weird position, he was peering at me.

"The girls think you like me."

"Ew... gross. Olivia is just mad I don't want her virgin princess ass." I glared over at him and he scoffed. "Look Olivia seems okay to date, but I don't wanna do that. Girls are frustrating and I have other things I need to worry about." His voice got quiet toward the end of his sentence and I remembered everything going on with his family.

"You're a virgin too Oakley." I rolled my eyes looking at the empty parking lot.

"Am I?" I could hear the smirk in his voice. He leaned closer toward me and I could see him in my peripheral smiling toward me.

"Yeah you are", I said confidently turning my head to stare him in the face. His smirk pulled into a full grin. It was cute.

I mean... cute like puppy cute not as in a 'you're kinda attractive' way.

"Okay I'm a virgin, but if I was talking to anybody else they'd most likely believe me. I sadly can't lie to you", he hung his head forward as his eyes started to have that sad angsty look he sports so well.

"Why is that?" I asked softly pulling my knees to my chest and my feet pressed against the pavement. The chill in the night had me scooting closer for warmth.

"I dunno, Mae."