Renegade luna

new day.

ARLO POV.

" It would be suicide. If you die, I die". It was the truth, but still, she burst into tears and sobbed harder. I didn't understand. I had hoped taking her to Doctor Fell would give me more answers. She seemed to know something I didn't. As Nova sobbed uncontrollably onto a couch cushion, I gently held her arm, trying to reassure her, but not overwhelm her. But god it was hard. It ached to my core to see her this way, it was taking everything in me to restrain myself from just holding her, pulling her close and not letting go until she had calmed down.

I mind-linked Doctor fell.

"Care to fill me in, Doc?"

"Patient doctor confidentiality."

"Bull. She's my mate, I'm next of kin now. Let alone, I am the alpha!"

"How is she doing?"

"She's hysterically crying on my sofa. Come on, I need to know."

"She's telling the truth when she says she's not really a wolf because until now she has never experienced any parts of her wolf self. She never changed. She's having all the changes happen to her at once, and will be accelerated given her age."

"But why, Doc. how can that be?"

" There are substances that are dangerous that can delay the onset of the wolf if started young enough. I say they are dangerous because too much is fatal, too little can also be fatal as it doesn't entirely work."

" She's done this to herself?"

" That is my understanding, but she would have started as a child. She would have had help."

"This explains some of it, but not all of it. Thanks, doc."

"Arlo just... tread carefully. She's going to be in an incredibly heightened state until things balance out. Don't scare her and, especially, just restrain yourself. I know it's easier said than done with the mate bond."

"I'm trying, I truly am."

I let out a sigh. She had done this to herself. But how? Soon as the thought crossed my mind, I remembered; her bag. How annoyed she had been over some bottle breaking? Perhaps that was it. I left her on the couch and went to my room. I had put her bag in the wardrobe for her, with the full intention of taking her to retrieve any of her personal belongings wherever they may be when she was ready...

I grabbed it, it was sticky from whatever it was that had spilled through it. Carefully, I carried it and bought it back for her, sitting it at her feet before sitting down next to her.

She stopped crying and looked at her bag and at me, letting out small sniffs.

" Shall we talk?" I asked, looking at her bag.

NOVA POV.

"Shall we talk?" my stomach sank. I looked at my bag, sticky from the remains of the Exlir. Somehow, the doctor had filled him in, or he had figured it out.

" What's there to talk about?" I sniffed, wiping my eyes. He rolled his eyes holding up a sticky shard of glass.

" That's what stopped me from changing. That was the last of it. Without it, I would become a.." I couldn't finish the sentence. Arlo nodded in understanding.

" It's not easy.. even for those of us raised in packs," he mused, sinking back into the lounge. "the transition that is. Everything is heightened, and new. Then you change and you don't know what to expect, you hear stories. It happens, it's excruciating. But its like my mother told me. Birthing a child is excruciating, but you come out the other side a new person.. holding new life. The transition is the same, you make it through that first time, and it's a new start."

"I don't think it will be like that for me." I sniffed.

"Maybe, maybe not. But you won't go through it alone." He reached for my hand but I pulled back. It's not that I didn't want the comfort, something was pushing me towards him that was torturous to fight, I just couldn't. I just needed to get out of here, and back on the elixir, and things would be alright. If I was alive, he would be sad, but at least I wouldn't kill him. Still... I had to accept that if I couldn't find a way to get out and get some elixir, I would become a monster. I had only known what my mother told me, but she wasn't a wolf, so really she could only tell me from second-hand knowledge. Everything I knew was from her, and I knew nothing about what actually happened during the change.

" What's going to happen to me... really?" I asked, looking up at him. His eyes were soft, weary. I guess my arrival has been hard on him too.

"Well.. you will start having new senses and sensations." New sensations... like the intense pull I feel towards him? like the crazy smell that comes and I want to devour?

" Like the smell?"

" What smell?" he asked with a small smile.

My cheeks flushed. "I think it's you."

he chuckled. " Yes. Like that. That will continue to grow, it will be as natural for you as hearing. speaking of your hearing will improve, but you'll be moody and emotional. Then, after the change, when you join the pack. You'll be able to mind the link."

My brows furrowed. I didn't know about mind linking.

"You don't know that one? It's like, you and I, we can speak to each other in our minds or other members in the pack. It's a bit overwhelming at first."

We stayed silent as I let it sink in. That's probably how he found out about the elixir. He must have done the mind talk with the Doctor.

"Can I ask you something, Nova?"

I looked at him, unsure about what he was going to ask.

"What do I smell like to you?" He seemed genuinely interested. But I had to think, I breathed in, catching a wave of his scent as I did and thought...

"Oh um.. warm... like chai-spices, burning pine needles... waking up in the forest on a summer day..." I trailed off as my skin began to tingle, something about his scent stirred something inside. I knew for sure I did not want to delve into on because I knew there would be know coming back.

" You smell like forest wildflowers, blossoming on a spring morning," he responded quietly, his fingers tapping his knee.

"That sounds nice." I smiled instinctively. I couldn't help it.

He let out a low growl. " You have no idea how nice it is," he said, getting up from the couch, and walking to the door, just as a knock rapped, making me jump.

"relax Nova, it's just Lucas."

Lucas, the other wolf from last night. I got up, and moved to the back wall of the lounge, lingering by the door to the bedroom. If I needed to, I could duck behind, lock it, and go from there.

Arlo didn't seem to notice as he opened the door. I could hear the two of them arguing in hushed voices.

"Nova?" Arlo called, looking to see me standing against the wall. "I have a friend here to meet you.." I stood where I was, as Lucas entered, followed by a woman, who seemed about my own age, with rich auburn hair and freckles kissed across her cheeks. She was carrying some flowers. I didn't move.

"Hello Nova, I'm Lucas, we didn't meet properly last night. I am the Beta, this is my Mate Holly." He spoke casually and calmly as he walked slowly to the dining area. Holly, at his side, gave me a gentle wave. Arlo slipped past him and came to stand just a couple of feet in front of me, perhaps to make me feel better.

" You helped kill the wolf that bit me."

"I did." He didn't deny it, he waited.

"Nova, Holly wanted to come to meet you, as she thought you might like a friend while you settle in."

"Are you a wolf too?" I looked at her, she seemed calm and innocent. petite in her frame, not unlike myself.

"Yes, I am." she smiled softly.

I slowly reached for the handle, debating if I had left or not, but Holly walked slowly towards me, holding out the flowers.

"We aren't like the other packs here... there's respect and support. We treat each other as equals, everyone member has a role and is important," she said with a smile as she closed the gap. She handed me the flowers and I took them. She looked at me and whispered, "Want to chat, girl to girl... I know your heads are probably a bit fuzzy with him around." I nodded and opened the bedroom door. Holly followed behind and shut the door, leaving Arlo and Lucas alone and confused.

I sat down on Arlo's bed and Holly sat on the ground in front of me.

"So, what do you need to know?" she got straight to the point.

"Has anyone here... hurt you?" her eyes widened.

"No, absolutely not. Lucas told me you were terrified of them last night. I'm guessing you've only heard bad things about wolves."

"Yeah, you could say that."

"I won't lie to you. There are packs out there that are... for lack of a better word, monstrous.-"

"like the high alpha?" I cut her off.

"how do you?... but yes. we aren't like them. We are a pack with values and morals and we stick to them."

I thought for a moment, trying to think of what else I should ask her. Thankfully, Holly took the lead.

" How much do you know about the mate bond?"

"that I'm now Arlos and..."

" Things are intense?" she smirked.

" It's not how I would describe it, but yeah."

" Whatever you're feeling, girl, trust me, he is too, although it would be less confusing and more torturous for him."

"I doubt it."

she laughed. " Look ordinarily, after a couple has found each other as a mate, they will be consumed by one another and we won't see them for at least a week... I mean s*x is good, but s*x with your mate is out of this world."

My cheeks burnt red and holly stopped laughing.

" Oh god, you're a virgin?" I couldn't answer. I just nodded.

" Right okay., explains a lot. Listen, as torturous as holding back for Arlo is, the only thing more torturous for him would be you... in pain, sad, scared, basically anything but filled with happiness. He will not harm you."

" But the other wolves?"

" God no, no one here will harm you. If anything, they will worship you"

My brows furrowed with confusion.

"Wait... you haven't realized it, have you?"

" Realized what?"

"You're mated to the Alpha of this pack... that makes you the Luna... you're kinda in charge around here." My jaw dropped.

I jumped off the bed and ran out the door to the main lounge. Arlo and Lucas were sitting at the dining table, drinks in hand.

"I'm the Luna?" I demanded of Arlo.

" Well, yes, since I am the alpha."

"NO!" I yelled and he seemed surprised.

"No what?"

"No, I don't want to be the Luna. I don't even want to be a wolf."

Arlo nodded at Lucas, who got Holly and silently left. When the front door shut, Arlo approached me. Quietly leaning over me.

"I am the Alpha. You are my mate. I didn't just see you and go, oh ill, mate her. We were bought together, fated to meet. I know you are absolutely terrified, and I am trying to understand, given my incredibly limited knowledge of you, but please... Just.. try to be open to fate." He brushed a stray curl behind my ear and I felt an incredible pull toward him. I couldn't help myself, I slipped my arms around him, and held him close, burying my face in his shirt, breathing it in. I felt him relax as he wrapped his arms around me.

"You felt it.. didn't you. the pull? the unyielding need to be close to me?" he mused into my hair. I nodded slightly.

" That's what it is for me, every second. Only I don't fear it. Do you understand?" I did, and it only made things worse. I let go of him, and took a few paces back, clearing my head. I grabbed my backpack from the lounge and went back to the bedroom. I went to his wardrobe and found a T-shirt and track pants. both were huge but I changed. A quiet knock told me Arlo was finally following. He looked me up and down.

"I'll, um, get you more clothes... or you could go shopping with Holly."

" Don't bother. These will do." he looked at me confused.

"Where do I sleep?" he pointed to the bed. And I went and climbed in.

"Nova, it's barely 1 pm..."

"I'm tired." I shrugged. He ran his fingers through his hair and growled before leaving the room. I pulled the doona up and cocooned myself. I didn't want to leave this spot. I didn't want to face reality. I was morning the impending death of my human life. Then my life entirely...

Eventually, I dozed off, only realizing when Arlo slipped into the bed next to me. I could sense his confliction..

"I don't know... how I can make you trust me. How can I fix this? I just need you to tell me" he whispered. I rolled over to face him.

"You can't fix it," I said softly.

"tell me why you were scared..."

I bit my lip and shook my head, rolling back over. I felt his pain. "Im sorry" I whispered. I felt him soften next to me.

I only had limited time until the next full moon. Somehow, id get free from here. somehow...