Renegade luna

trust.

ARLO POV.

Once the shower was running, I stepped back to give her space. I made my bed, or should I now say our bed? Then I waited.

I know she thought the rushing water would muffle her, but I could still hear her sobs. Deep suffocating sobs. I could sense her mood, and it took everything for me to not break down too. She was in so much pain, I could feel her dying inside and the worst bit was it was my fault. I could see how she looked at me like I was a monster, the fear that radiated from her was soul-crushing. I am her mate. I am for her safety. I shouldn't be causing her all this. Still, I wondered... why is it? Why did she fear wolves so when she is one? Then again, she is in complete denial of her existence. Somehow, I had to find out, if only she could trust me enough to speak.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom, I sucked in a breath to contain myself. I thought she was beautiful last night when she was clearly trying not to draw attention to herself. But now, damp hair, fresh-faced, well freshish, the water couldn't stop the tears in her eyes making them puffy and red. With her tight black jeans and a delicate white blouse, she was perfect in every way I could imagine.

" Thank you for the clothes," she said softly, avoiding my gaze.

" You look beautiful" I whispered back. She kept her head down and waited. I hadn't thought about this. None of this had been how I thought finding my mate would go. Normally, you find your mate. It's this beautiful mutual completion of one another, followed by an intense phase of... getting to know each other. But not with Nova... I don't think she even felt the pull of the mate bond, perhaps it was just clouded by the intense fear of me? Maybe if I gave her some control over the situation, and let her know I'm not here to hurt her, she'd start to trust me? Even just a little?

" So what would you like to do now?" I asked her, with a gentle smile.

She looked up at me, seemingly surprised by my question. Her beautiful blue eyes, blue like the water that runs down the mountain creek that borders our estate, on first glance, you'd think of her being innocent, but seeing her now, I realized those blue eyes have seen some things no young lady should have to witness, they held a wiseness in them beyond her years.

"Could I have something to eat please?" She asked me nervously like she was a prisoner begging for food.

"Of course. Come with me", I motioned to the door to the living area, and I let her go first. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped as she stepped out into the main part of my suite. It wasn't exactly my style, but it was warm, homey, and classic. "Vintage revival" is what the designer called it. She said it would be perfect for a future Luna to come into.

"Do you like it?" I asked her, a little cautiously.

"it's... like a pottery barn catalog..." she mused, slowly walking through the lounge, delicately running her fingertips across the different surfaces and textures. Judging by that, I guess she liked it.

I made my way to the kitchen area. I liked that it was an open plan. I started the kettle and watched her, read the titles of the books on either side of the built-ins around the faux fireplace. There was no TV here. That was one thing I had insisted on. I wanted this place to be my solace, a place I could quiet my mind after being bombarded all day as an alpha.

Nova seemed to have found a book, she began to slide it from the shelf delicately.

"You're welcome to read any that grab your attention." she nodded, but I watched her slip the book back quickly. Maybe one day she will add her own to those shelves. That's if she likes reading, that is.

She made her way over to the kitchen and I motioned for her to sit at the breakfast bar.

"Coffee?" she nodded, looking down at the marble benchtop. I poured her a cup, a splash of milk, and slid it towards her before pouring myself a cup. She took the tiniest sip and sat it down.

" What would you like to eat?"

" Oh um, just cereal or something is fine" she shrugged. Yeah, no, I was not feeding her cereal.

"I'm all out. How about I just do a cook-up?" she nodded. She was nervous, and strangely enough, so was I. I'd never done this... had to win someone over. Being an alpha, I was used to getting things handed to me, including beautiful women. She sat quietly while I fried some eggs and bacon. The silence was deafening.

"here.. pick any music you like." I handed her my iPod. Cautiously she took it and started scrolling, and then a song came on. It was not what I expected at all. I looked at her, grinning. It was my favorite metal band.

"You like this?"

"ah-huh" She gave me a small smile if only a flash.

"You know...a person's taste in music can tell a lot about them." I mused.

"what does this say about me?" she asked, her voice was still quiet. Sad.

I got out two plates and started dishing up the eggs and bacon while I thought. I listened to the lyrics of the particular song and realized it was telling me so much about her.

" I say it's telling me, you are deeply angry, that... you've been wronged and hurt.. but also that you survive... you let that anger fuel you." her lips parted and she looked at me. And I mean properly looked at me. "Am I right?"

She grabbed one of the plates and pulled it towards her. I handed her a fork. She didn't answer me, but I caught a glimpse of a smirk.

I stayed standing opposite her on the bench. As much as I wanted to sit next to her, I didn't want to push her too much.

She all but licked her plate clean, she was hungry. I wonder when the last time she had eaten a properly cooked meal was. As I was clearing the plates, I noticed she hadn't had any more of her coffee.

"Sorry, did I make it wrong?" I asked, looking at her still full mug. Her cheeks flushed and she shook her head.

"actually... I don't drink coffee." her cheeks blazed.

"What do you drink?"

"tea."

I sighed and reached into the cupboard and pulled out my selection box of tea. I always kept some for guests, even though I hated the stuff. I slid the box to her and her eyes widened.

"You are welcome to anything in this suite, anything you want or need, it's no problem just ask, okay?" she nodded and then pointed to the earl grey. I boiled the kettle again and made her a fresh cup of tea. When she finally took a sip, I could sense the moment of happiness glow from inside her.

When she finished her tea, she slipped off the stool and walked around, carefully putting her mug in the dishwasher. She was right next to me, I could smell her, the scent that reminded me of spring, a fresh beautiful sun-filled afternoon. I wanted to grab her, to stroke my fingers through her now soft dried curls. The blonde glistened with strains of gold in the mid-morning light from the window.

"What now?" she asked me. I could hear her heart racing.

I reached for her, but not the way I wanted. Carefully, I grabbed her right hand. She jumped a little but she didn't cringe away. I turned it over, checking the bite on her forearm. It still hadn't healed.

"I think we should get this looked at."

" What about this one?" she pointed to her neck. My bite mark was there, it was healing better than the one on her arm, but that was likely aided by my venom and the mate bond.

" That one is okay. Promise." I gave her hand a gentle squeeze and then dropped it, leading the way out the door of my suite. I hope Nova could at least trust Doctor Fell to explain why she wasn't healing.

NOVA POV.

He lead the way from his apartment. His stunningly beautiful apartment. It wasn't what I had expected a wolf to live in. I assumed it would have been some cesspit of all manner of horror. Instead, it was like walking into the coziest home. I stayed close to him once we were in the hall. I didn't want to get lost here. My mom had always told me they lived in packs. I was beginning to think Arlo meant that he wouldn't hurt me, but I didn't know what the others would do.

The hallways were confusing, with so many doors, but Arlo seemed to know where he was going. We made it to the end of the hall, which brought us to a huge staircase. As we made our way down, was when I saw them. Other wolves. My heart began to race, and I'm sure Arlo sensed it because he stopped.

" No wolf here will harm you. They will face me if they do." his tone was serious. I nodded, but still, I panicked internally. None of the other wolves spoke as we entered the floor, they hurried away when Arlo glared at them. Which made me more nervous. Across the hall on the second floor, as he told me as we walked, was a doctor's office. He didn't knock when we approached, merely opened the door open for me to walk in, shutting it and locking it behind him. To my surprise, the doctor's office was just like a usual GP clinic. The doctor was a tall older woman, with graying amber hair and kind eyes. She smiled at me warmly and motioned for me to sit on the bed. I climbed up and waited while Arlo filled her in on the night's events and my arm. I zoned out not wanting to relive them.

"Perhaps we should get Nova's side of the story?" the Doctor prompted Arlo. I had a feeling the Doctor was the only authority Arlo would listen to. He pulled a chair over and sat down next to me, as I held my arm out for the doctor. She peered at it thoughtfully, carefully poking around the edges.

"Nova, I'm Doctor Fell, the resident Doctor here. It's a pleasure to meet you, though it would have been nice to meet on different circumstances." I nodded, she was genuine in her words, her warmth was radiating, and I felt somewhat calmer.

"Arlo tells me, you claim to not be a wolf and have never changed. Is this true?"

" Yes," I said, my voice trembling.

"But you've maintained other wolf traits...scent, hearing, needs?" I shook my head. Until last night, I'd experienced nothing. So long as I had kept up with my elixer. It kept it all at bay.

"Nova, so I can help you... I need to know more about your history..."

"Until last night, I had never experienced any parts of what comes with being a wolf. That is the truth." I clenched my jaw, on edge, they cannot know who I really am. Doctor fell nodded, seemingly understanding.

"All this then must be very... overwhelming." I nodded, biting my lip. Arlo reached for my hand, but I didn't fight it. "I don't believe this wound is anything to be concerned about, it appears to be healing just slowly."

"But why," Arlo asked, narrowly restraining his frustration in his tone.

"I think.. Nova knows the answer to that." she smiled at me, and my stomach dropped. She knew she knew I had the elixir.

"I do."

"I am guessing then, that you are aware of what's going to happen."

Tears welled up in my eyes and I nodded.

"I don't understand". Arlo looked to the doctor for an explanation.

"From now until the next full moon... Nova is going to become a full werewolf. She will change for the first time on the next moon"

"Please not. I don't want to. Please can you just... fix it?" Teared slipped down my cheeks, as I begged the doctor.

"I cannot change who you really are, Nova."

"I don't want to be a monster", I sobbed.

"If what I believe is the cause behind your delay in becoming a wolf is accurate, then, you must know it was never going to last. Eventually, it would no longer work." The doctor said plainly, handing me a box of tissues. I wiped my eyes.

"Is she going to be okay?"

" Yes, with a lot of understanding and support that I am sure you will be able to give her." Arlo nodded, then lifted me from the table, setting me back down on my feet. I sobbed silently all the way back to his suite. Thankfully, we didn't see any other wolves on the way. When we returned, I didn't know what to do. I just stood in the middle of the suite, unsure what to do and where to go. Arlo gave me some grace and let me be, but I heard the flick of the kettle. I knew it wouldn't be long, and sure enough, he approached me, holding a mug of tea. He lightly pressed the small of my back, to guide me to the plump lounge. I sat there, sobbing and sipping my tea. Arlo took it from me and sat it on the coffee table when it was empty, before turning to me.

"What can I do Nova?"

"kill me?" I sobbed.

"I can't do that."

"why not?" I pouted, sniffing. As he wiped away a tear.

"because it would be suicide. You die. I die." I burst into tears and sobbed harder. Little did he know that mating me would mean that.