His To Possess

A Cup of Tea

I have never been a light sleeper. Back at home, Keenan could scream at the other side of my bedroom door and I wouldn't notice. Keenan could bang my door and I wouldn't notice. Keenan could shake my shoulder and I would still stay asleep.

But this is no home. This is the enemy's land. And it's not Keenan who is touching my shoulder. This is the monster himself. In a blink of an eye, I'm up and standing, almost falling to the ground from the unwanted touch. My body is ready to shift.

It's dark outside already, drowning everything in shadows. But I don't need the light to know who's standing in front of me, grabbing my waist to steady me so I wouldn't fall. Even though my sweater, I can feel his fingers, the sickening warmth seeping to my skin. It is enough to make me relive the horrors of last night over and over again.

His icy stare pierces my eyes, but he wouldn't find me looking back at him. My eyes are looking nowhere in particular, blank and empty. I refuse to show him any emotion, I refuse to show him my true self. He has already taken my body physically, but he will never take my soul.

The monster grips my chin. I clench my fists, nails digging in my palms so hard I puncture the skin and draw blood. ''Why are you here? You are not allowed to sleep anywhere but in our bedroom for the night. I'm not in the mood to go and look for you every evening. Understood?''

He's angry. I could tell him I came here in the afternoon and slept since then, but I don't bother. I won't try to explain myself to him. I won't give him more than it has to be said to get me through the day. So I just nod my head, a blank look still on my face. I count once again, making my mind focus on numbers and not on his touch.

He pushes me out of the study and into his bedroom. It will never be ours. I'm ready to go to bed with my clothes still on but I doubt he would approve. So I take my sweater off, leaving a t-shirt underneath it. I turn to the bed, but the monster stops me. ''I filled a bath for you, you're probably still sore after that little stunt you did yesterday. Tomorrow we'll go hunting, I need you well-rested,'' he says, taking his shirt off. Again, I don't say a word, only go to the wardrobe, pick some shorts and a tank top, and head to the bathroom.

The bath, steaming from hot water, actually looks nice, the soft scent of lavender calms my nerves a little. I strip, not really caring if he can see me, and sit in a tub. Hot water burns my skin, but I find peace in the pain. I close my eyes and lean my head back, enjoying the serenity.

Sadly, the door opens and the monster comes in. I force myself not to move, still keeping my eyes shut. He comes to me, kisses my forehead, and turns the shower on. A shiver runs through my skin.

I take a little peep. I can see his back through the shower glass, tight muscles clearly visible. He has tattoos all over both of his arms, they enhance his pale skin and hair. I can't deny the fact that he is a handsome man.

It doesn't change anything, though. This man stole me away from my home, he beat me, he r***d me. And now he dares to fill me a bath, to kiss my forehead like a loving mate. I've been here for only a few days but it's already too much for me to handle.

And the hardest part of all of this, of course, was s*x. I couldn't believe how great it felt, even though I hated every second of it. It was just like it had to be with the mate - it felt like honey, like fireworks, it felt like you were slightly drunk. It was nothing like I've experienced before - a few minutes of passion, heated kisses, and a quick release. That was just plain s*x. This was... euphoric.

And the fact that it made me feel this way made it so much worse. I felt so ashamed that I enjoyed it. I know that it's the mating bond that makes me feel like this, but still, seeing my body betraying me like this... I didn't choose this, I didn't love this man. I hate him and all it was, no matter how good it felt, r**e.

The monster, of course, did not think like that. He thought that he only took what's rightfully his. He thought I belong to him, that he owns me, my body, my soul. And that I don't have any right to even think differently.

I force myself to relax again. I can't change what happened to me, but I still can change the future. The monster didn't lock me up, he let me freely roam the territory. I can still use this. I can still escape.

However, I know I will have to flee the country. Ronan would find my family, our village is just too close. Maybe I'll take both Keenan and my mother and we'll go to some big city. Keenan's dream would come true. And the monster would never find us. We all could find some jobs, start a new life...

I was woken from my thoughts as he exited the shower and stood beside the bath, with the towel in hand. ''Come on, get up, water's already cooling.'' He held a towel, wanting me to stand and wrap me. He was testing me again, checking how obedient I was. I can't f**k up again. I have to do it if I ever want to escape. Make him trust you. So I pulled out a plug, water quickly draining, and stood up. His eyes slowly trailed down my body, then up again. It felt disgusting.

''You are a beautiful woman, Eira, and all mine to enjoy" he murmured to himself. Oh god, will he do this to me again tonight? He wrapped the towel around me, picked me up, and lifted me out of the bath, still holding his hands tightly around me, his naked chest pressed against mine. His touch burned me. My skin felt like fire, tiny needles poking me again. My head started to become so light, like I was underwater... Darkness blurred my vision. I was going to pass out.

But then Ronan's lips pressed on the mark he gave me and I was suddenly pulled out, my body on flames once again, but this time it didn't burn, it set me alive. He kissed me slowly, taking his time, his arms wandering my body, giving me unwanted pleasure. God, I hate this stupid mark... My wolf was dancing inside me, ecstatic, enjoying every second of it. And, as always, she wanted more.

I tried to push Ronan away, but he didn't even notice my struggles. His hands now were gripping the back of my thighs, his lips caressing my neck, my collarbones, the top of my breasts... I almost moaned. I had to stop this.

''Ronan, Ronan please, stop, nhhhh'' I gasped as he nipped at my skin, sweet ache pooling low in my abdomen. I could feel him smiling against my skin. He knew that my body actually enjoyed this.

But I knew what will happen next if I didn't stop him now. And I didn't drink that special tea... I froze, a shiver running down my body, completely waking me from this strange bliss Ronan's touch put me in. I shoved him harder this time, making him lift his head. His eyes were darkened now, annoyed I interrupted his fun. A low growl erupted in his throat. s**t, I need to find the right words...

''Please, Ronan, I'm still so very sore from yesterday, it will hurt really bad if we...'' I looked down, making myself look embarrassed. ''Please, you said tomorrow we'll go hunting. I don't want to make a fool of myself by not having enough energy and making myself look weak. Can we not do this tonight?'' I lifted my eyes at him, making myself look pleading. Come on, fool...

He stared at me for a while, then smiled. ''Eira, darling, I'm not that stupid. And I'm used to getting what I want. And now, all I want is you.'' He grinned wickedly at me and I couldn't stop my tears from falling. He brushed them away with his thumb, caressing my face. ''Don't cry, love, I'll make this feel very nice for you.''

And he did.

*****

I couldn't sleep. With every passing second, my anxiety grew bigger and bigger. Finally, sometime around midnight, I couldn't take it anymore. As gently as I could, I tried to move Ronan's hand away from my chest and belly, but he was holding me tightly against his chest, his other arm draped under my head. He was deep in sleep.

I tried again, lightly wiggling my body. Finally, inch by inch, I was able to move away from him. I quietly stepped out of the bed, grabbed one of his shirts, and quickly put it on. It was long enough to cover me.

I tiptoed to the door and gently tried the handle. Actually, it was a pleasant surprise that the door was unlocked. I turned over my shoulder to check, but he was still sleeping. I took a deep breath and stepped out of the room and went to the kitchen.

I found the herb stash between other spices, took a little bit of it, and made myself a cup of tea. I mixed some camomile too. I must not raise any suspicion. I placed my mug on the little bar area and sat on the stool, and, not waiting for the tea to cool, started sipping. It wasn't tasty, but I was expecting so much worse.

My body hurt badly. The monster wasn't gentle with me. And was he ever gentle? No. So why do I expect him to be? I should know better... I couldn't even sit without wincing. I hated this so much. I felt disgusting, dirty. And his smell, lingering on my body... Gag. I'll have to scrub myself for hours to wash away this stench. I hope that stupid b***h will die a slow and painful death. I hope I will be the one who kills him.

When I was almost done with my tea, my ears caught the sound of quick footsteps coming down the stairs. I didn't need to see who it was. It seems that the monster can't keep himself away from me even for a second. I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes.

Ronan looked relieved to see me sitting here. He probably thought I ran away. Well sadly, I'm still here, you p*****t. He brushed his hair away from his face, tousling it even more than it was before, and took a deep breath. ''Eira, what are you doing here? You should be in bed.'' Oh, f**k you and your bed, you f*****g r****t.

I looked at him, holding a mug near my lips, trying not to growl ''I found it hard to sleep. So I made myself some tea.'' Yeah, and I wanted to be alone at least for a second so that I wouldn't get yet another panic attack, but a girl can only hope, huh.

He came behind me, wrapping his hands around me. The patterns of the tattoos, I must say, were beautiful. He leaned to kiss my exposed shoulder, but stopped, smelling the air. s**t, does he suspect? My muscles tensed.

''How can you drink this? It smells disgusting''. No, my dear mate, you are disgusting, not my tea. ''Don't like camomiles?'' I asked instead, with no emotion in my voice, relaxing a little. I must filter the things I say. Any slip and I'll never be able to get out of here.

''No, I guess I don't... Come on, let's get you back to bed.'' He started to nuzzle my neck and all of that s**t again. I sighed, not wanting to go. I would much rather stay in this cold kitchen drinking this insipid tea than go anywhere with him. Still, I gently unwrapped his stupid arms, stood up, cleaned my mug, and headed back to the bedroom. I let him walk in front of me, not wanting him to see me from behind. He could get some ideas and it was the last thing I wanted.

As soon as I climbed into the bed, the monster reached grabbed my waist and pulled me to his chest, his head pressed to the spot he bit me. Gentle, soothing waves consumed my body from that unwanted touch and finally, I was able to fall asleep.