His To Possess

After

The morning is peaceful. Quiet. Gentle light seeps through the floor-to-ceiling windows, warming a patch of wooden floors. In the center of the room stands a big bed, holding two people sleeping in it. At first glance, you could think the pair is in love. The blonde man's arm is wrapped around his little mate, securing her to his chest, sleeping soundly, their legs entwined together.

But if you looked closer, your opinion would change. There's blood on the sheets, now brown from drying up. The woman herself is laying uncomfortably, her eyes open, not blinking, big and red from a restless night. Her lips shape one two three over and over again, her palms gently trembling. Broken, you would think.

The man finally shifts, waking from his deep slumber, drawing his mate even closer. The woman's hands stop shaking. She doesn't chant her mantra anymore, too. She tenses even more, though she desperately tries to look like she's asleep.

The man nuzzles his nose to the said woman's shoulder, caressing her body with his arm, finally placing it under her breasts, holding her in place.

The man wasn't happy to find out last night that he wasn't first to his mate. He got angry. He got rough. He drew blood. He swore to his mate that he will find that miserable male that touched his property. He promised her he will kill him.

Finally, he got up. He took some clothes from the wardrobe and went to the shower, cleaned himself, got dressed, and, glancing at his mate once, left the bedroom, letting her face the morning alone.

Eira

I lay in the bed, not being able to move. Everything hurt. I wanted to get up, but what if he will come back? What if he'll do it again? But what will happen if he'll find you still in bed naked?  That thought scared me even more, so I tried to get up, to make my legs move. Pain shot through my core, making me wince, bringing the memories of last night to the surface again. Slowly, so very slowly, I managed to throw my legs over the bed and stand up. Something sticky trailed down my legs. I kept my mind shut down, concentrating on my breathing. In and out. With effort, I made it to the wardrobe, grabbed some clothes, and managed to get in the shower.

Once again, warm water didn't help. I was shaking, violently. As I started to clean myself with some shower gel, desperately wanting to get the smell of him off of me, I felt a sharp pain on my hips. I looked down and whimpered. Four crescent wounds on each side traveled down my waist. The mark of his claws. Hickeys covered my belly, purple against the white skin. My wrists were read where he held me immobile. Black bruises shaped like his fingertips marked my breasts. He branded me in every way possible.

I scrambled out of the shower, abruptly trying to dry myself with the towel. My mind was screaming at me, threatening to shut down completely. I tried convincing myself to stay sane, to focus on putting my sweatpants on, then a sweater. 

Then, one step by step, I made it to the bedroom door, always focusing on one step at a time, not letting any other thought distract me. Put a hand on the handle. Press it. Push the door. Exit. Close the door. Walk.

I reached the kitchen. Everyone was already there but still not seated. As they saw me, the room got quiet for a second, then filled with chatter again. He was already sitting, watching my every move. I was only thinking about my next step, how I place my feet. 

I made to the table, sitting on the monster's left. Everyone was sitting down now, starting to eat. Once in a while, they dared to take a peek at me, their eyes fixed on my neck. Most likely there were some bruises too.

I stared at my empty plate, counting to ten and then back. I couldn't eat, couldn't lift my eyes from the plate, couldn't interrupt my counting. Numbers would mess up, I would have to start again. So I counted, back and forth, again and again.

I felt a hand on my thigh again and I froze. I think my heart stopped for a second. But I stayed still, not daring to even move a muscle. I just counted, screaming those numbers in my head, again and again, and again.

''EIRA''. My name. Someone was calling me. He was calling me. I lifted my head, staring blankly at his forehead, trying not to lost my count. ''You're not eating. Eat''. I have to eat something. If I won't, he will drag me to that bedroom again. I grabbed the first thing I saw on a table - an orange. I started pealing it, counting little pieces of skin. Then, I counted slices. I ate one, counted how many left, then ate another one.

Too quickly, people began to stand up, ready to start their day. I was not. My hands started to shake again. Thankfully, Hanna saved me. ''Hey, I have a ton of stuff to do and I would really use some help. Would like to join me?'' I was ready to go wherever this girl wanted me to if that meant I didn't have to be with him. But I knew I must ask for permission. I knew he was expecting me to. So I turned around, glancing over him. To my relief, he nodded his head. I was free.

''Great,'' Hanna smiled, grabbed my hand, and dragged me through the back door outside. As I took a deep breath of the morning breeze, I felt a little lighter, less crushed. I can survive this.

''Okay, so, where are we going?'' I asked, wanting to fill the silence. Hanna smiled at me again ''We need some fresh herbs in the kitchen, you wouldn't find them in a store.'' I found this a little strange but still agreed to join her. 

Once we were deeper in the woods, Hanna's light mood changed. She turned to me, tears filling her eyes as her eyes caught the sight of my neck. ''Oh, you poor thing... Can I hug you?'' First, I almost laughed at her question. But then, my eyes filled with tears too and I started sobbing, nodding my head to her. Her body crashed to mine, her hand gently drawing circles on my back, hushing lightly to my ear. After a minute, I contained myself and she let me go. I smiled weakly at Hanna, not knowing what to say.

''Oh, baby girl, this must be terrible to you...'' Yeah, Hanna, it is. I nodded my head, wiping my tears with my sleeve. ''I just...'' I started, ''I never felt so weak''. She looked at me with sorrow in her eyes, her lower lip trembling. ''Look, Eira, I can't ease your pain, but I can help you with something else''. 

She bent down, picked some herb from the ground, and showed it to me. ''You need to take a few of these. I'm sure you don't really want a pup at this moment, yes?'' I froze, remembering something thick running down my legs this morning. I whimpered, my eyes filling with tears again.

I took an herb from her hands, wanting to thank her. But what if she's just testing me? What if she's only spying on me for him? ''I don't think that he...Ronan... He wouldn't be happy.'' Hanna seriously looked heartbroken. ''Eira... I'm not playing with you. I didn't want Theo's pup at first. Actually, I'm not even sure I want it now, too. I don't think I'm ready for this step. We girls understand each other. This herb is no secret to us. The boys, on the other hand... Don't talk about it with them. Every single one of them wants pups. They would kill us if they knew.'' 

I look at her beautiful face and I know she's genuine with me. I nod to her again, not able to speak. I am grateful for her, so very grateful. I won't bear that monster's spawn in my belly. I won't. 

''Okay, let's find more of it, yes? Some girls asked me for it, it uses up quickly.'' I nod at her again and we walk for a while, searching for this herb. When Hanna says that's enough, I dare to ask her some questions. ''Hanna, how do I use these?'' 

''It's easy. We dry these up, then make a tea out of them. Remember, put some other herbs too, the tea is kinda disgusting and it smells bad. Alpha Ronan can suspect something. You should drink it every morning, just to be sure. Oh, and don't worry, I'll give you some of the already dried ones.'' Hanna winks at me and I feel a little better. I have one person here who I can trust.

As we walk out of the woods, I turn to the girl. ''Hanna, I want to thank you, I...'' I don't finish, Hanna stopping me ''Baby girl, we are here for each other. Besides... I think it was so cool the way you attacked the Alpha...'' She laughs, making me smile too. 

We then go to the empty kitchen where she puts the herbs with other fresh ones. ''Ladies will dry them later. Come on, I'll show you around a little''.

For the next few hours, we walk around, chatting about the pack life. Apparently, this pack is huge, about three hundred people. Only the high-ranking ones live in the main packhouse. Others live in separate houses, though the whole pack meets every day, staying well organized and keeping relations tight. I am extremely thankful to Hanna for distracting me from my thoughts, making me forget about last night's horrors at least for a while.

The place itself, I have to admit, is beautiful. There's even a lake nearby. The forest is lush, welcoming. In different circumstances, I would love this place. Hanna shows me around the houses, all nice and compact, then she leads me to the weapons room, where my eyes catch a bow. I make a note in my head to later go and check it out. ''And this is where we train'' Hanna points to the big one-storey building farther from other ones. ''We should get going, though. I promised Mari to help her with the laundry.''

I try to convince Hanna to let me help her, but she shakes her head, demanding me to go and rest. She says I look as I can pass out any time. I can't object. I didn't sleep last night at all.

She accompanies me to the packhouse, giving me a smile and waving goodbye, telling me to rest. I promise her that I will try. As soon as she leaves, everything comes back, crushing me. I gasp, physically feeling the pain, and rush up the stairs. I don't want anyone to see me like that. But I can't go to that room, I can't look at that bed.

Where should I go? I walk from door to door, mindlessly checking out every room, counting to ten and back in my mind. Finally, I walk into some kind of a study. It's small and cozy, with floor-to-ceiling windows covering one wall. Warm afternoon light drowns everything in gold. There's a big bookshelf on the far wall, a writing desk in front of it. In a corner, to my joy, stands a small plush sofa, with a blanket neatly folded on top. This is perfect.

I sigh, stepping inside. I go straight to the bookshelf, grab the first book I see, and lay on the sofa, covering my bare feet with a knitted blanket. I actually feel cozy here. I don't even open the book - I simply close my eyes, enjoying the peace. I don't feel the exact moment I drift to sleep.