Teardrops on a Sketch Pad [COMPLETED]

Confidence

[Xylandria's POV]

[FLASHBACK - 8 years ago in year 2008]

"Go for it! Alam kong matatanggap ka." Belle tried to cheer me up, but it's not enough to take the nervousness away.

"You can't watch," I said to Belle that made her frown.

"I wanna!" Umiling ako at napabuga siya ng hangin.

"I don't want pressure. Letting you or anyone watch is too much pressure for me... so please?" I gave a puppy-eye look and she rolled her eyes. Victory!

"I'll just wait you in the car then. Good luck."

"Thank you!"

I breathe in and out and went inside the gymnasium. I saw five teenage girls sitting on the bleachers separately. The audition haven't started yet.

"Xylandria, please have a sit." Coach Savannah said and I was shock to see her standing beside me.

"T-thank you, Coach." Nakayuko na akong tumungo at umupo sa pinakagilid ng bleacher. Nakita kong naka-focus sa akin ang atensyon ng iba... it's hard to become the center of attention because of your freaking face.

"Ladies, shall we get started?" We all nodded and paid attention to Coach Savannah, the cheerleading coach.

"So last week we have sent you a short clip video of a dance cover and now it is the time you'll perform it. If you get a 90 percent and above rating, you're in. So shall we? Let us watch Selena perform first."

Coach Savannah also announced the sequence and I am the last to perform.

The first performer is amazing that I couldn't help but to question my dancing skills. Every move is smooth like she's owning the entire gymnasium.

I looked at the other auditionees and they seem not impressed. Am I the only one who's feeling this insane pressure?

After her performance ended, I excused myself to go to the comfort room. I was palpitating, my hands couldn't stop shaking. My fingertips is not used to the pressure and nervousness.

I'm a model... but I never felt discomfort on the runway. Feel ko kasi kung nasa runway ako, i'm just showcasing my beauty pero sa cheerleading ay hindi mukha mo ang titingnan kundi ang talent mo. Even if you're the most beautiful when you can't dance, you're out.

"S-sorry," natatarantang paghingi ko ng dispensa nung nasagi ko ang braso nang kung sino dahil sa pagmamadali ko.

"It's okay." Hindi ko maiwasang matigilan dahil sa lalaking kaharap ko. He must be Coach Savannah's nephew. Sikat siya at nakita ko na noon ang mukha niya sa mga magazines and articles. Ang dinig ko ay nanalo na siya ng gold sa Asian's Cup sa skateboarding. I never thought na ganito siya kagwapo sa personal.

Matangos ang ilong at sobrang dami ng nunal niya sa mukha at leeg. Medyo kulot ang kanyang buhok at manipis ang pink niyang labi.

"You're here to audition?" Tanong niya na agad kong ikinatango.

"You're shaking," he chuckled when he noticed the non-stop shaking of my hand.

"Relax, you will soon forget the pressure when you enjoy dancing. Talent, beauty, knowledge... all of it is useless if you don't have the confidence to execute it." Agad akong namula nung bigla niyang kinuha ang magkabilang kamay ko. His hands are soft and warm.

"Ah!" Daing ko nung bigla niyang hinampas ang mga kamay ko.

"Still nervous?" My nervousness is gone, napalitan iyun ng sakit. I don't know if i'll be mad or thankful for what he's done.

"Yun ang ginagawa ko kapag kinakabahan ako." Natatawang kinamot niya ang ulo. His smile reached his eyes and I found him... mesmerizing. Siya lang ang lalaking hindi na-intimidate o kinukuhanan ng advantage ang gandang meron ako.

"Well, see you around? Just remember, even in the smallest thing, you need confidence. Good luck," he gently pat my shoulder and started walking. Parang hindi ako makahinga. Something inside my chest feels warm that my organs and mind forgot the pressure.

Tumakbo ako para sundan siya at nung makalapit na ako ay hinila ko ang mangas ng leather jacket niya.

"Forgot something?" Inosenteng tanong niya at mukhang naguguluhan.

"I-i just wanna say... thanks a lot." A wide smile immediately draw on his face.

"Anytime, kid."

[END OF FLASHBACK]

Hindi ako na-accept sa cheerleading team... but it's okay. I learned a lot from 'him'.

Nung nag-college ako ay naging cheerleading captain ako at yun din ang itinuturo ko sa mga baguhan...

Confidence is everything. Confidence is power. Confidence is a proof that you have faith in yourself.

Nilagay ko na ang sketch pad sa loob ng bag ko at sinimulan nang magligpit bago ni-lock ang opisina.

.

Agad akong nakaramdam ng kaba nung makita siya mula sa labas ng Sky Autumn. Gabi na at nandito pa rin siya. Kita ko ang pagkunot ng kanyang noo habang ine-erase ang kung ano sa sketch pad niya.

Pumasok ako at dire-diretsong naglakad papunta sa kinauupuan niya. I ignored the frightening feeling and forced myself to not overthink.

"G-good evening, Sir." Tumigil siya sa kanyang ginagawa at napaayos siya ng upo. Hindi siya tumitingin sa akin pero alam kong hinihintay niya ang kasunod kong sasabihin.

"Y-you left this yesterday at gusto ko lang sanang isauli." Nilapag ko ang sketch pad sa mesa at tiningnan niya iyun. Binasa ko ang labi ko nung hindi pa rin siya nagsasalita.

"Can I?" I asked habang nakaturo sa upuang kaharap niya.

"You can't. You have brought my sketch pad back and that's enough socializing for me." Hindi ako makapaniwala sa sinasabi niya.

"So wala man lang thank you?"

"You already got my thank you after looking into my sketch pad. Can you now please leave? I'm currently busy and I don't need distraction." Hindi ko maiwasang mapahanga nung makita ang dino-drawing niya ngayon. He's drawing a portrait of himself. Every detail is precise... especially the huge scar on his left cheek.

"Hindi mo ba ako narinig?"

"I promise, I won't distract you," sabi ko matapos umupo sa harapan niya. Kita kong umigting ang kanyang panga at kitang-kita ang iritasyon sa mukha niya ngunit bumuntong-hininga lamang siya at pinagpatuloy na ang ginagawa.