Coffee & Cream

Reflections

DARCELLE

We lay on the grass, backs pressed against the cool earth, staring up at the sun, our eyes squinting through its blinding rays. Nathan was on one of his philosophical tangents again, his voice laced with the calm of someone who's spent too much time thinking about life and not enough actually living it. “Freedom is like oxygen for the soul, but it’s a shame because in the world we live in, freedom isn’t free,” he mused, sounding like some poet lost in the 60s.

I nodded, agreeing as I always did when Nathan went off on one of his rants. “Having freedom is better than having power. You can unlock so much with freedom—things you never even imagined. Power? That’s just control. And what happens when there’s nothing left to control?” I responded, my voice lazy, but with a subtle weight behind it.

“Word!” Nathan snapped his fingers, like I’d just dropped some profound truth, which in his state, maybe I had. Then, out of nowhere, he asked about my aviation practice, saying it was about time I started learning to fly. It felt random, but that’s Nathan for you—his thoughts always jumping between stars and grounded realities.

“I think I start next semester,” I replied absentmindedly as he pulled out some shrooms from a little ziplock bag. I followed his lead. We ate them like popcorn, laughing at how ridiculous it was to down shrooms that way, like it was the most normal thing. Pretty soon, colors were swirling, merging into shapes, looping in and out, and everything just felt so... right.

The woods sounded alive, like the earth was breathing with us. It was the kind of peace that made me think, Maybe I could live out here. Or maybe at Emrys’ glass mansion by the ocean, with the waves and the breeze, far away from the chaos. Speaking of Emrys... I missed a couple of his texts earlier, and his calls too. He’d been giving me the cold shoulder since. We’d seen each other in school but walked right by without so much as a glance, pretending we didn’t exist to each other—our usual game.

Earlier today, I watched him and Isabelle have one of their infamous arguments. This one was particularly loud—the kind of scene that makes people stop and stare. Isabelle was pissed because he missed something important to her. He told her he didn’t want to be there. She blew up, asking him why he’d been so distant lately. His response? Dismissive. “Because I didn’t want to go to your stupid show,” he snapped. The word stupid hit her like slap, and before long, they were in full-blown drama mode. A crowd gathered because, well, it’s Emrys and Isabelle—people live for their theatrics.

Emrys just grabbed his jacket, snatched up his keys, and walked out, saying he didn’t have time for her bullshit. I heard he didn’t even come back to school after that.

As if reading my thoughts, Nathan interrupted. “What do you think that was about this morning with Emrys and Isabelle?” he asked, his face turned towards mine, his lollipop rolling between his lips.

I turned to face him too, the grass prickling my cheek. “Dunno,” I answered, feigning indifference. “I don’t keep up with that world. They’re just... rich, popular, and loud. Ridiculous.”

Nathan didn’t buy it. “Hmm... I mean, rich and popular, yeah. But loud? Not really. Emrys has that low-key vibe, you know? Private parties, close circle. Isabelle? Yeah, she’s the loud one, always in some s**t. Maybe Emrys is tired of her. Or maybe she cheated. Or maybe he cheated.”

I rolled my eyes, a smile tugging at my lips. Nathan and his conspiracy theories. “Couples fight, Nathan. It’s not that deep. Maybe he just didn’t like the show. Maybe it wasn’t his thing, or maybe he just had a bad day.” Inside, though, I thought to myself, He’s cheating... with me.

Nathan grinned, still pushing. “Look at you, defending Emrys like some kind of encyclopedia. Not a single defense for Isabelle.”

I shrugged, unable to hide my smirk. “I don’t like Isabelle. And besides, your theory shots were mostly at Emrys. I couldn’t give all the points to Isabelle.”

Nathan’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “Oh, so you like Emrys then?”

"Oh, please,” I scoffed, rolling my eyes again. “f**k Emrys. Emrys who?” In my head, though, the truth was louder than my words. I f**k Emrys. I miss Emrys. I wondered what he was doing right then. Probably high as hell, sitting on his terrace, staring out at the ocean. The thought of him doing just that made something twist in my chest.

Nathan, blissfully unaware of my inner chaos, started singing some offbeat song about the sky and a lover’s fight. The lyrics were a mess, but his voice carried an odd melody that somehow fit. It was one of those songs that sounded so bad, but for some reason, still good. I laughed, slurring my words, “You’re high as fuck.”

“We should leave, though. It’s getting dark,” I added, feeling the shrooms starting to mellow.

Nathan sighed, a slow exhale, “I wish every day was your off day.”

I let out a small laugh. “Well, unfortunately, I’m not privileged. No mommy and daddy to put me through college, send me pocket money, take care of bills, or put food on the table.” The words came out sharper than I intended.

Nathan’s expression softened, and he apologized quickly. “s**t, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”

I leaned over, pressing a light kiss to the tip of his nose, easing the tension. “I know you didn’t. I’m not mad.” I wasn’t at Nathan. But my mind was somewhere else entirely, circling the one person I wasn’t ready to admit I cared about.