Almost but not forever

Chapter 30 Pretending Everything Is Fine

The next morning felt strangely normal, which was the worst part. The sun still rose, people still went to class, life still continued like nothing had happened. But for Lily, something inside her had shifted completely.

She didn’t tell anyone about Ethan’s call. Not Sophie, not her friends, nobody. She smiled when she needed to smile, answered questions in class and acted like she was fine. It was easier that way, or at least it looked easier from the outside.

But inside, everything felt heavy.

Ethan texted her later that day.

Ethan: Hey, I hope you’re okay after yesterday

Lily stared at the message for a long time before replying.

Lily: I’m fine

Ethan: You sure? We can talk if you want

Lily: It’s okay, really

And that was it. She closed the chat.

For the next few days, she kept her distance slightly without fully admitting it. She replied slower. She didn’t stay up late waiting for calls. When Ethan tried to call, she sometimes missed it and said she was busy. She didn’t want to hear his voice too often anymore, because every time she did, it reminded her of what had changed.

Sophie noticed immediately when she came to visit.

“You’re different,” Sophie said one evening.

“I’m fine.”

“You keep saying that.”

Lily forced a small smile. “I am fine.”

Sophie didn’t believe her, but she didn’t push too hard either.

At night, Lily would lie awake scrolling through old messages between her and Ethan. Messages from when things were simple. When he used to call just to talk about nothing. When she didn’t have to wonder about Chloe. When she still believed maybe, just maybe, one day he would see her differently.

Now everything felt further away.

One night Ethan sent her a message again.

Ethan: You’ve been quiet lately

Lily read it twice before replying.

Lily: Just busy with school

Ethan: Okay… I miss talking properly though

Her heart tightened at that, but she didn’t respond immediately. She wanted to. She really did. But something inside her stopped her.

Instead, after a long pause, she simply typed:

Lily: I’ve just been tired

Ethan: Alright. Take care of yourself

That was the end of it.

After that message, Lily turned her phone face down and closed her eyes. But sleep didn’t come easily. Because pretending everything was fine didn’t mean she was healing.

It just meant she was breaking quietly, without anyone noticing.