Almost but not forever

Chapter 4 The Small Things

It wasn’t anything big that changed between them. There was no single moment Lily could point to and say, this is where it started. It was the small things, the quiet ones, the ones that slipped in without asking for permission. By the second week, Ethan had become part of her routine in a way that felt both new and strangely familiar. He would walk into class and look for her first before sitting down, like it was already decided. Sometimes he would drop his bag on the chair beside her before even greeting anyone else, then turn to her with a casual “Morning” as if they had been doing this for years.

Lily noticed everything, even the things she pretended not to notice. The way he would tap his fingers lightly on the desk when he was bored, the way he leaned back in his chair when he was thinking, the way his voice softened when he spoke to her compared to everyone else. She told herself she was just observant. That was who she had always been. But this felt different. This felt like she was paying attention because she wanted to, not because she couldn’t help it.

One afternoon, she arrived earlier than usual and found him already there, sitting in her usual spot by the window. For a second, she stopped, unsure of what to do, but then he looked up and smiled. “You’re late,” he said. Lily frowned slightly as she walked over. “I’m not late. You’re early.” He shrugged. “Same thing.” She sat down beside him, placing her bag carefully on the floor. “Why are you here so early?” she asked. “Couldn’t sleep,” he replied. Then after a pause, he added, “Thought I’d come and sit here for a bit.” Lily glanced at him. “Here?” “Yeah,” he said simply. “It’s quieter.” She didn’t ask any more questions, but something about that stayed with her.

Later that day, during lunch, Sophie nudged her as they sat together in the cafeteria. “You two are getting very comfortable,” she said, watching Ethan across the room with Daniel. Lily kept her eyes on her food. “We’re just friends.” Sophie gave a small laugh. “That’s how it always starts.” Lily shook her head, but she didn’t argue further. She didn’t trust herself to.

That evening, Lily was lying on her bed scrolling absentmindedly through her phone when a notification popped up. Her heart skipped slightly when she saw his name. Ethan: Do you ever feel like days just repeat themselves. She stared at the message for a moment before replying. Lily: All the time. Ethan: Good. Thought I was the only one. Lily smiled to herself, then typed back. Lily: You’re not that special. He replied almost immediately. Ethan: That’s rude. She let out a quiet laugh, the sound filling her room softly. The conversation didn’t stop there. It moved from one topic to another without effort. School, music, random thoughts that didn’t seem important but somehow felt like they were. Time passed without her noticing, and before she knew it, it was past midnight.

From that day on, texting became part of their routine too. It wasn’t constant, but it was enough. A message in the morning, sometimes during class, often at night. It felt easy, like talking to him in person. Sometimes even easier. He would ask her questions no one had ever asked before, and he listened to her answers like they mattered. That was what affected her the most. Not the jokes or the laughter, but the attention. The way he noticed things about her that others didn’t.

A few days later, it rained heavily after school. Most students rushed out, trying to avoid getting soaked, but Lily stood near the entrance, waiting for it to slow down. She didn’t like crowds, and she didn’t like rushing. She preferred to wait. “You’re not going?” Ethan’s voice came from behind her. She turned slightly. “I will. Just waiting.” He stepped beside her, watching the rain fall. “You always wait,” he said. Lily glanced at him. “What do you mean?” “You don’t rush into things,” he replied. “You stand back and watch first.” She frowned slightly. “Is that a bad thing?” He shook his head. “No. Just means when you finally do something, you really mean it.”

They stood there a little longer, the sound of rain filling the silence between them. It wasn’t awkward. It never was. After a while, Ethan pulled his hood over his head and looked at her. “Come on,” he said. “We’ll be here forever if we wait.” Lily hesitated. “I don’t have an umbrella.” He smiled slightly. “Good thing I do.” Before she could protest, he stepped closer and held it over both of them. It was a small space, closer than they had ever stood before. Lily could feel her heartbeat quicken, but she said nothing. They started walking, side by side, the rain falling around them while they stayed just barely dry.

It was nothing. Just a short walk in the rain, shared under one umbrella. But for Lily, it felt like something she would remember for a long time. And that was the problem. Because the more moments like this happened, the harder it became to pretend they didn’t mean anything.