Almost but not forever

Chapter 12 The Conversation That Changed Everything

That night Lily could not stop thinking about Ethan.

Not about Ava anymore.

About him.

About the way he followed her to the library. The way he looked at her while teasing her. The way he said she was still his favourite person there like it was the most normal thing in the world.

It was almost midnight and Lily was still awake staring at her ceiling with her phone in her hand.

She told herself to sleep.

Instead she opened their chat again.

Before she could even type anything, a message appeared.

Ethan: You still angry at me

Lily stared at the message for a few seconds before smiling without meaning to.

Lily: I was never angry

Ethan: That sounds fake

Lily: Maybe because it is

Ethan: So you admit you were jealous

Lily rolled her eyes while typing.

Lily: You’re annoying

Ethan: But you like me anyway

The moment she read that message her heart started beating faster.

He probably meant it jokingly.

Probably.

Lily: You’re very confident

Ethan: Only around you

That one hit differently.

Lily sat up slowly on her bed now fully awake.

For the next few minutes they kept texting about random things again. School. Sophie. Daniel being stupid. Music. Movies. Everything felt easy with Ethan. That was what scared her the most.

Talking to him never felt forced.

At some point Ethan suddenly sent another message.

Ethan: Can I ask you something serious

Lily frowned slightly.

Lily: Depends

Ethan: Why do you always act like you’re scared of people

Her fingers paused over the keyboard.

That question felt too personal.

Too honest.

Lily stared at the screen for almost one full minute before replying.

Lily: I’m not scared of people

Ethan: Lily

She sighed quietly.

Lily: Okay maybe a little

Ethan: Why

Lily looked down at her hands for a second.

Nobody usually asked her things like this.

Nobody noticed enough to ask.

Lily: I don’t know

I just don’t trust people easily

A few seconds passed before Ethan replied.

Ethan: Did someone hurt you before

Lily swallowed slightly.

Lily: Not really

I just learned that people leave eventually

After sending that message she immediately regretted it. It sounded too emotional. Too honest.

But Ethan didn’t joke this time.

Ethan: Who left

Lily stared at the screen quietly.

Her dad traveled a lot when she was younger. Her parents barely spoke anymore. Most friendships she had growing up faded away. People always seemed temporary in her life somehow.

Lily: Everyone eventually

This time Ethan took longer to reply.

Then finally another message came.

Ethan: I think that’s why you overthink everything

Lily: Probably

Ethan: You expect people to disappear

Her chest tightened reading that because somehow he understood her too well.

Lily: Maybe

Another pause.

Then Ethan sent something that made her stop breathing for a second.

Ethan: I don’t think I could disappear from you even if I tried

Lily read the message again.

And again.

Her heart was beating so loudly now.

She didn’t know what to say.

Because what exactly were you supposed to reply to something like that

Before she could think properly another message came.

Ethan: That sounded less dramatic in my head

Lily laughed softly to herself despite everything.

Lily: You’re accidentally emotional sometimes

Ethan: Only late at night

Lily smiled while biting lightly on her lip.

The conversation became quieter after that. Slower. Softer.

At some point Ethan asked her what she was really afraid of.

This time Lily answered honestly.

Lily: Being important to someone and then suddenly becoming nothing to them

The reply came almost immediately.

Ethan: I don’t think you could ever be nothing to me

That sentence did something dangerous to her heart.

Because Ethan said things so naturally. Like he had no idea how deeply they affected her.

Lily looked at the time.

1:47am.

She had school tomorrow.

She should sleep.

But she didn’t want the conversation to end.

Neither did Ethan apparently.

Ethan: Can I tell you something without you making fun of me

Lily smiled slightly.

Lily: Depends on what it is

Ethan: Sometimes you’re the best part of my day

Lily froze completely.

Everything around her suddenly felt quiet.

Too quiet.

Her hands felt cold holding the phone.

Because no one had ever said something like that to her before.

Not in this way.

Not like they truly meant it.

She stared at the message for so long that Ethan sent another one.

Ethan: Okay now I regret saying that

Finally Lily typed back.

Lily: Don’t regret it

Three dots appeared instantly.

Then disappeared.

Then appeared again.

Lily could almost imagine him overthinking on the other side too.

Then finally another message came.

Ethan: Good

For some reason that simple word felt more intimate than anything else they had ever said to each other.

Lily slowly laid back on her pillow staring at their chat.

Her chest felt full in a way she couldn’t explain.

Happy.

Terrified.

Hopeful.

All at once.

Then another message appeared.

Ethan: You know what’s funny

Lily: What

Ethan: I don’t even think you realize how special you are

Lily’s breath caught slightly.

And for the first time since meeting Ethan Blake

She started wondering if maybe

Just maybe

This wasn’t one sided anymore.