Gifts of the Moon Goddess

Ch. 3

In the stories I read as a kid, characters would sometimes say that your life would flash before your eyes when you were dying. Perhaps that's what was happening to me. It was like a summarized version of all of my memories flitting through my head. Memories of my beautiful mother Amarant, with her white hair and blue eyes and freckles. I really was a shorter carbon copy of her. Then my father, Wright, with his dirty blonde hair long enough to braid, his facial hair that sometimes hurt against my face, and his broad shoulders. My parents seemed so amazing, so strong, so tall to the young me. I got to meet dad's wolf a few times too. He was large and had similar coloring as his hair. His name was Bane. Bane was always very protective of me, his pup. But the best thing in the world was when I was allowed to ride around on his back, or fall asleep for nap time snuggled up with him. My mother, on the other hand, told me that I would get to meet her wolf when I was old enough. I was always really upset that she'd hid that side of her from me, but then Bane would come out and cheer me up.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

They were the Alphas of their pack, though I can't seem to recall the name. They were constantly busy with pack duties but always made time for me, like when mom and dad took me to a flower field and we spent hours making flower crowns and braiding flowers into each other's hair. The whole day under the sun. The sweet sun. I loved being outside and in nature. Away from the busyness of our pack. Away from all the noise. But more than anything, I loved spending quality time like that with my parents. The field was half inside our pack border and half outside, so mom always told me not to stray too far when we were playing there together, and to never go out there alone, even when I'm older. I had made a pinky promise with her. The ultimate form of a promise to a child.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Another time, dad and I were at a pack barbecue. Mom had to deal with some business so she wasn't able to come right away, even though she was worried about leaving me with just dad. She was right to worry, I guess, because a little boy accidentally ripped my new floral dress and I was inconsolable. I couldn't stop crying. Dad tried everything to cheer me up and get the water works to stop. We ended up going back home and he tried to change me while I was still throwing my sobbing fit. He got so overwhelmed that he ended up just sitting on the floor and crying with me until I finally stopped. Then we both just sat in the kitchen eating cookies together. Mom teased him about it for weeks. But as an apology, the boy's mom fixed the dress for me. She sewed it back together and apologized profusely to me and my parents. Apparently, when my dad left the barbecue early with a crying me, the rest of the pack who had attended got really worried. Especially when we didn't return.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

As more memories flooded me, the memory of the day my parents died also came back. Dad had left the house early that morning, before I even woke up, to join the patrols. Mom looked so worried throughout the day and barely paid any attention to me. I kept catching her staring off with this strange expression on her face. At one point, I had tugged at her pant leg to get her attention. She gave me a strained smile and picked me up into her comforting arms.

"Yes, little flower?"

"Momma, is you and daddy okay?" I had asked.

I just automatically assumed maybe her and dad got into an argument. Sometimes she looked like this after they argued, but they always made up. Always. Though, I admittedly never really understood what they were ever arguing about.

Mom had smiled sadly at me, but didn't actually respond to my question. Instead, she offered me some juice and snacks and she set me in my playroom. She lingered nearby and checked on me every so often but it was clear that she needed some space, so I decided to be a good daughter and wait there.

It was later that day that the alarms started going off and I met Bryce for the first time.

Beep beep. Beep beep beep. Beep beep.

Then, many quick shifting memories of Bryce flooded my head. My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest, my throat felt constricted again, and my stomach churned. How many times would I have to relive this? How many more times would I have to suffer these memories of everything that happened?

Everything he did to me.

Everything he did to us. A voice, distorted by rage, echoed my thoughts.

Everything he put me through.

Everything he put us through. The rage grew the more memories I relived, thick enough to choke on.

All of the suffering I had to endure.

All of the suffering we endured. The voice growled. Demented. Savage.

Beep beep beep beep. Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep.

The anger wasn't a hot, burning rage like one might expect. No. It was cold. Cold as ice. Cold as death. Consuming me like frost creeping over every inch of my body, inside and out. A loud scream startled me awake. I didn't have time to fully comprehend the fact I wasn't actually dead before hundreds of scents assaulted my nose, making me want to tear it off. The brightness of the room felt like it was going to blind me, but my eyes quickly adjusted.

I could tell I was in a hospital by the white walls, the machines hooked up to me with their incessant beeping, the uncomfortable bed, and the terrified nurse whose arm I was gripping.

The sight sort of horrified me. My once short and clean nails had become black claws and were piercing through the flesh of her arm. Blood ran over my hand and arm, as well as hers, and dripped into a red puddle on the floor. She was trembling, tears staining her cheeks, her lips quivering with whimpers of pain. I could clearly smell her fear and she kept her neck bared to me in submission in what I'm assuming was an attempt to show she wasn't a threat.

What a useless woman. I heard in my head. The same voice that was echoing my pain earlier.

I tried to release her arm in a panic. I didn't mean to hurt her, but my hand wouldn't let go. In fact, it felt like I wasn't even there in the forefront, controlling my body. It felt like I was just a passenger in my own head, watching someone else steer.

The nurse begged quietly for me to release her, but a vicious growl rumbled up from my chest, threateningly, and the nurse quivered. Then another scent assaulted my apparently really sensitive nose right now. Urine. Her pant legs became quickly soaked. I was really scaring this poor woman. Was this what I looked like and smelled like when I trembled in fear of Bryce?

A handful of shifters filed into the room, all rather large looking, warriors probably. But each of them stopped short when they caught sight of me. Another growl erupted from my chest, and my hand tightened around the nurse's arm. I could feel my claws hit the bone as they dug deeper at her. She cried out in pain. Guilt wrenched inside of me. I didn't want this.

One of the warriors leaned back to whisper something to one of the others. I could sort of make out the words 'contact Alpha'. Alpha? Goddess, I hope whatever's going on the Alpha can sort it out.

To be honest, I was just as terrified of this situation as the nurse was. What in the world was going on? Try as I might, I couldn't regain control of my body. It was like I was smacking into a thick wall. I couldn't force myself to let the woman go. I couldn't speak through my own mouth and beg for forgiveness nor help. I was panicking. My wolf should still be dormant from the wolfsbane, right? But what else could this be? Was this really my wolf?

Then another pushed into the room and I thought my heart might stop. The machine at the side of the bed started beeping even faster. Doctor Layre became pale at the sight of me and I couldn't tell if it was because I was here instead of being locked up like I should be or if it was because of the sight of me hurting another person. An innocent person.

Another angry growl came from my chest and Layre put her hands up defensively.

"Okay, let's try to calm down a bit. Can Kyssemi come back out, please?" She asked sheepishly, and I could tell she was struggling to keep her voice steady.

She started making small, slow movements towards the nurse, but that only angered my wolf even more. Throwing the nurse aside, my wolf, controlling my body, ripped herself free from the machines, and stormed towards Layre, baring her - or I guess our - fangs.

"YOU!" My wolf yelled in pure anger at the doctor.

Layre quickly backed up, wrapping a protective arm around her stomach just before my wolf grabbed her by the throat, yanking her down to her knees in front of us. The smell of fear from multiple people in this room, including a couple of warriors, seemed to please my wolf. But I wasn't pleased at all. I wished this would stop. I prayed someone would intervene before this got even worse.

I struggled against my wolf, trying to take the reins back.

A few warriors stepped forward, ready to intervene if they had to, but it seemed like something was holding them back. Why the f**k weren't they defending Layre or the nurse? What the f**k were they standing around for? Why were they just watching this?

My anger at the warriors for not doing anything seemed to fuel my wolf even further. She gripped tighter around Layre's neck, snarling at her.

"Please..." Layre choked out, tears welling up in her eyes.

I could smell it on her. She was pregnant. I could see the mark on her neck peeking out from between my fingers choking her. I guess I was always too drugged up to notice she was a mated woman, but somehow that helped my urgency in fighting harder against my wolf's control. Layre may not have saved us, but she did help us. She didn't deserve this. Her mate didn't deserve to lose his mate and his baby.

After a difficult struggle, I managed to get my wolf to drop Layre, even if I wasn't able to get full control back. She seemed to be much stronger than me but I couldn't just let her kill someone. I couldn't let her do this.

Please, for the love of the Goddess, stop this! I begged in our head, hoping my wolf would see reason. Hoping my wolf would calm down.

My wolf whipped around on our heels and punched a fist through the screen of the heart rate monitor before just throwing the whole entire thing to the floor with an enraged scream.

Something sickly and dangerous, a feeling I've never had before, began to creep up within us. It alarmed me. All of my instincts were screaming at me not to let that feeling loose. Not to lose control. So, once again, I began my frantic struggle to take my body back from this wolf. My wolf. My terrifying wolf. It was like trying to break through several thick barriers in your own mind. Each barrier I got through left me more tired than the last and she wasn't happy about me trying to take back control. The struggle brought us to our knees. That dangerous feeling was crawling over our skin.

Do you want to stay weak and wind up back in that place? My wolf growled in my mind. Because if you do not let me handle this b***h here and now, that is exactly what will happen and that bastard will only hurt us more.

She forced those memories to the surface again. Making us both relive them. Bryce beating me. Again and again. Whipping me. Raping me. Nearly killing me. Injecting me over and over again with wolfsbane making me feel like my whole body was burning from the inside out.

While she was flooding me with those memories, I managed to take control of my body, but my chest was tight and my throat felt constricted. I was trembling from the trauma of reliving those horrific moments. I crumpled over on the floor and a sob escaped my throat.

A hand grabbed my shoulder and at this moment I feared it was Bryce. I yanked myself back out of their grip and grabbed their wrist when their hand came towards me again. A feeling of power burst from my skin, making my hair stand on end, and I could feel a sort of pulling sensation happening between us, like I was dragging out some sort of energy from the person and feeding on it myself. I could feel it seep into my own skin, like it was rejuvenating me a bit.

My wide eyes stared in horror at the nurse whose wrist I was grabbing. She must have tried to comfort me after I regained control. I watched her color turn a sickly gray, her skin shriveling up, and life vanish from her eyes before she just dropped down to the floor.

Dead.

She was probably just trying to comfort me. But now she'd never be able to comfort another person ever again. Did she have a family? Friends? A lover? I may not see a mate mark on her neck, but that didn't mean she didn't have a special person in her life.

I was frozen in place, my head reeling. I no longer felt the presence of that power, thankfully, but now there was a dead woman in front of me. I couldn't bring myself to move. To breathe.

Oh Goddess, what have I done? I'd never heard of wolves being able to do things like this before, and as I tried to feel for my wolf I realized she was asleep. She just left me to deal with the aftermath of this all by myself. Was this why the rogues wanted me, why my parents had to die, why Bryce kept me drugged?

What have I done? What has my wolf made me do?

I cupped my hands over my mouth to stifle the horrified gasp and the sob that wracked my body after.

"Kyssemi?"

A voice I didn't recognize pulled me from my panicked thoughts, but I didn't look away from the body. I couldn't look away from the body. A hand reached towards me but I flinched back and moved away in a panic, not wanting anyone else to suffer the same fate as that nurse.

"Don't!" I sobbed.

When I moved away, one of the warriors came over and gently lifted up the corpse, shooting me a hateful glare before he simply left the room with her. My eyes trailed after them, staring at her body until it was no longer in sight.

Hesitantly, I looked around at the rest of the faces, surprised to only find Layre's worried and scared face and a man whose appearance made my heart leap into my throat.

"Dad?" I whispered, but immediately knew that was wrong.

He smelled similar to my dad, looked similar to my dad, but different. His voice wasn't the same as my dad's either. He had the same dirty blonde hair, the same green eyes, but his hair was shorter and his figure more lean.

"No." He says gently. "My name is Alistair. I'm your dad's younger brother, and the alpha of White River. I'm your uncle."