The Night I Woke Up Beside You

[SEASON 1] Chapter 11: Things We Don't Reveal... Yet

"You got something to tell me?"

The third period had been promptly dismissed in a rush, students scurrying into a thick line on their way out of the room, but Regina was stopped short when someone had suddenly stood in her way, startling her as she jerked a step back. And Daisy, who was just tailing close behind her, had also paused to gape. It was Eleanor Gomez.

"Do you?" Eleanor had continued, a brow curving up to her forehead, a well-defined arch, as she leaned down a little closer with those cat-like eyes that felt like they could read through Regina's inner thoughts in seconds.

Regina could not even speak back when she had been trapped this way. She felt stuck, caught off guard. And she tried so hard to get her voice out but failed miserably. She was at a total loss because she was never really ready to face Eleanor Gomez yet. The other woman. But no... She's not the other woman, at least, not in this time. 

She found her eyes meeting Eleanor's squinting ones and Regina's mouth just opened and closed repeatedly without even making any sound, halfway from ever really uttering something that she no longer knew what was. Her lips had been left parted through that attempt. And she eventually figured she was not really in the right state to have a confrontation with the very person who had caused her that nasty rotting agony she had forcefully pushed back in the very depths of her mind, denying that it ever existed. 

But there was no stopping it anymore. It had already burst open, a bomb exploding. And in a quick snap, all the ugly feelings had started flowing out. And Regina was beyond overwhelmed as the tearing sound of her unstable emotions resonated in her ears and ripped her heart open, shaking her inside.

And as she stood there, gawking like a deer caught in the headlight, the ugly feelings had begun spurting the hot-wrenching hatred all over her chest as it quickly made its way up to her throat, but she tried her very best to keep it all within her. And damn, did she really ever hold it in, almost barely at her limit. 

She wanted to curse at her, shame her, but Regina knew that this was not the future where all those anger and sick feelings had come from. This was the new past. And in this universe, Eleanor Gomez was not guilty of anything yet. At the very least.

"So are you going to answer or what?" Eleanor looked at her with snarky eyes. Regina felt intimidated but she knew better not to show any hint of inferiority so she tucked her chin out instead and matched Eleanor's stare with equal boldness. Well, Eleanor was taller but Regina was not going to let that make her feel smaller in terms of intimidation.

"I don't have anything to tell you," Regina answered as best as she could, though she chose to sound a little too nice, just because. Well, she did not really want to cause any more tension too. Eleanor Gomez in high school had been known to be quite a b***h and she had always pushed people away. No one understood her until Regina met her through Charles and Ryan. 

And then they became friends, eventually. But not that they were going to be on the same route as then this time. Clearly.  

"Huh," Eleanor rolled her eyes, scoffing in disbelief, "Then why were you staring at me?"

Regina blanched. Was she?

"The whole class?" Eleanor went on, tilting her head to an angle as if to make a point. Her voice had now gotten colder and tight with annoyance as it echoed through the empty room. Lunch was already starting. Things were getting a little tense here though. "You kept staring at me, and it's creepy, seriously. I don't think I've done anything to you at all. So, what? Do we have something we should talk about here? Do we have a problem?"

She was demanding and Regina was somehow feeling guilty. Perhaps, it was also because Eleanor's voice was getting a little louder now and she was trying to sound indignant so she could have the upper hand. And Regina knew, despite this unnecessary argument, she was not completely faultless too. If she had not been caught staring or had been staring at all in the very beginning, this would never have turned into an issue. And she mentally smacked herself on the head for being so dumb. She had been so obvious and she did not even realize it. What the hell was she thinking?

"No, I was..." Regina struggled to find the right words as she looked away and bit her lip, thinking fast, "I was staring into space. It wasn't you. That wasn't... Sorry."

And damn, it felt a little too ironic and ridiculous that she was the one saying sorry now. This was totally awkward.

"Sorry if that made you uncomfortable." Regina finished quickly, her voice turning smaller as she looked down.

"Well, it did. But that's beside the point now. Do you think I don't know what you're trying to do here?" Eleanor squinted harder, her voice gritting. Regina turned and looked back at her, her face turning pale.

"I don't know what's up with you, but let me tell you something," Eleanor said, pinning Regina with her scrutinizing eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"I know that you went home with Ryan the other night..." Eleanor went on, intoning each word as she whispered it in a harsh yet slow drawl of her voice, eyes glaring at Regina, feet stepping forward until she could almost see Regina's pupils dilating out of guilt, "Last night, you came running to him again. You might think Ryan's an easy target now just because you've gotten your fair share of Charles. But that wouldn't ever work, Regina. You're not cut out to be with him. Ryan can have any girl he wanted. But you... You're just always going to be the foolish girl who chased Charles around and left him the moment you realized it wasn't enough."

Her words dug deep. Regina could hear it echoing, ringing her ears with its clear sound and there was that horrid criticism that cut through her defensive walls as it all sunk in her mind. Eleanor made her point. And Regina felt stripped. She was trying to avoid the future but it was turning her into the very person who hurt her. She was turning into Eleanor of that future... Jumping between Charles and Ryan. 

"That's not what it is."

'Yeah?" Eleanor said with a haughty tone, scoffing again, "Well, I don't care, and there's no reason for you to explain it all to me now, don't you? After all, I'm just nobody. Ain't I?"

And with that, she turned around and left the room. Regina could not even say anything back. She was baffled, cowering, and shocked. The truth felt extremely terrible that she lost her balance for a second as she stumbled back.

"Regina...?" She heard Daisy asked her in a worried voice, her friend was now coming to her aid as she put a comforting arm around Regina's shoulder and looked at her with a concerned frown. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Regina barely got her voice out, almost choking. And she cleared her throat, shaking her head as she turned to look at Daisy, trying to smile but failed, "It... It was nothing. Let's just go."

And she was scurrying away, a little too shocked that it got to her. The words got to her. But she tried to ignore it all, tried to deny that somehow, it meant real. Then they started walking out of the room and as they hit the hallways, the sound of the students chattering drowned out everything else. Out from the distance, Regina could see Eleanor walking through a throng of students as she raised an arm and waved at someone aggressively.

"Ryan!" Eleanor shouted out loud. And it suddenly took everyone's attention as heads turned towards the direction of the noise. Eleanor was now running fast towards the image of Ryan who was staring back at her with an unreadable expression. Her bag was bouncing behind her and her ponytail swinging sideways until she stopped, right where everyone was watching, including Regina and Daisy, and the entire Perry High's lunch break crowd.

She was suddenly kissing Ryan... On the lips. Passionately. Arms wrapped around him, eyes closed and smiling. It was not just a simple, sweet, youthful ridiculous peck... It was what Regina could only take as a statement. She was trying to make a claim. And it was pretty clear. Ryan and Eleanor...

They were actually an item. And Regina should have known that already. They were together... Until Ryan died a few years after high school. And that was the reason why Charles had gotten closer to Eleanor after college. The reason why Regina had never suspected Eleanor and Charles. It was because she knew...

Ryan and Eleanor were in love with each other. But why did that hurt a bit more than it should when she already knew that?

"Wow..." Daisy said behind Regina. And Regina was just about to say the same thing, but she still could not find her voice. It seemed like it had gotten blocked together with the rest of her guilt and mixed feelings inside her chest. Everyone was gawking at the sudden public display of immense affection, as it appeared so, "That was some kiss."

Regina did not even know what to feel about it, but for some reason, she knew she had been scowling. She tried to mask it right away, tried to compose herself, as she put on a fake smile across her lips. That should not happen, she should not be affected. And trying to remind herself that she had nothing to do with it, she nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders and walked in the opposite direction. And thank goodness that the cafeteria was in the other way, she did not have to pass by the two in the hall, still attached, after what she just saw with her own eyes now.

"They're together," Daisy muttered out loud, chasing after Regina as she hurried and fell into step beside her on their way to the cafeteria. They were walking faster now since lunch break had already started minutes ago and they were hoping they could still get a vacant table.

"Yeah," Regina found herself replying in a clipped voice, but she was nowhere in the conversation to think anything else. She was still replaying the very words that Eleanor had told her a while ago... You're just always going to be the foolish girl who chased Charles around and left him the moment you realized it wasn't enough.

"So, about Ryan..."

Regina closed her eyes, stopping short as she heard Daisy's inquisitive remark. And she knew she had to tell her about it now. She won't ever stop asking about it if Regina didn't.

"Alright. But we better go to the cafeteria first," Regina told her, barely glancing her way, and Daisy beamed as they hurried. Regina was still thinking... But instead of thinking about her own problems, she was beginning to think more about Ryan and Eleanor.

Are you jealous? Jealous after seeing them kiss? 

No, Regina aggressively brushed that annoying voice off of her mind. What the hell? She's never jealous! 

But for some reason, despite trying so hard to deny that, she can't really tell if she was trying too hard. Then she realized that it only made things worse now because she was thinking about that. 

The kiss. But why was she thinking about it? Why was she feeling a little too angry? She could not be possibly jealous of Ryan and Eleanor, right?

She shouldn't.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay..." His eyes were barely even open before he spoke at her in an awkward tone, utterly confused, "What was that?"

Ryan was frowning, his dark eyes squinting down as soon as he pulled away and gently pushed Eleanor off of him to a safer distance. He had never even seen that coming. He was totally unprepared that before he knew it, her lips were already there, grazing over his, seeking and wanting. Desperate. And he felt her body fully pressed against his body until he could no longer hear anything and all of his senses were so focused on Eleanor's warmth and scent surrounding him.

"What?" Her eyes were still half-glazed and dreamy as she blinked slowly and stared up at him with a smile on her face. Her hands rested on his arms, still trying to keep close. She was doing something that was not supposed to happen, but he could not just aggressively push her and dismissed her right there. Eyes were still looking at them and Ryan felt like he had been blindsided.

"What are you doing?" He asked without halting, trying to make things sense. He was not yet sure what was the purpose of kissing. And he was trying to be as nice as he could even though deep inside, he did not really like it at all. 

"Can't I kiss you?" Eleanor whispered back, leaning closer, "Isn't that a part of the deal? I told you we had to do it."

Right. They had agreed to fake a relationship just last week. It had been a mutual decision. And it was because he wanted to help her make all the people who were trying to bully her at school go away. At the time, Ryan thought it was a good offer and he had gone with it because she was his friend, after all. She needed his protection because she got no one to turn to. But it seemed like it had all backfired at him now. And for some reason, he was feeling a bit regretful... and unsure.

"Yeah, I know," he said, venturing, "But you should tell me if you're going to do it in front of all these people."

He looked around them, and pretty much, everyone had seen it. They were officially going to be thought of as a couple now. Well, it was not really that bad since that had been their very aim in the beginning.

"Ryan, they won't ever believe it if we don't put out a display right here," he heard Eleanor saying as he returned his eyes at her again, "You know that it's bound to happen."

Ryan sighed out loud. He knew that, but he didn't realize he was not going to be happy about it now. But he kept that to himself as he just said, "Well, maybe next time, a warning would suffice."

Eleanor let out a dry chuckle, merely musing as she already saw it in his eyes. He was never going to be into it. He was there just to help her. He was so cold and icy and completely detached that it made her want to change him. Make him softer. Make him notice her. But Eleanor knew she won't have the courage to do it on her own. She was still a coward, after all.

"Yeah, whatever," she just said after a slight pause, stepping back, her arms dropping down to her sides. She gazed into those dark eyes, the ones that had always made her heart skip a beat, and added, "Just so you know, it would also be better if you stop hanging around Regina Harding now."

Ryan gave her a frown, his face trying to conceal his very thought, but Eleanor knew him. She could read him. She was not an i***t.

"What? Regina? Why?"

"You know why, Ryan," she said, bitterly smiling as she reached out to touch him softly on the cheek, "Don't act too dumb," she told him, "It's so not like you at all."

And then she was walking away. His eyes followed her, looking confused, anxious, and nervous. He had been caught. And maybe he never really realized it until Eleanor said it with her own eyes... He was changing. And he had been bothered more by the thought of not talking to Regina Harding again.

And that... was strangely so close to the very truth that he had been hiding all this time.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------next chapter