The Night I Woke Up Beside You

[SEASON 1] Chapter 22.5: Regina's Demise

[REGINA's POV]

It's still very clear. That distant memory of that one special day that had led up to this whole messy present of my new past...

I can still remember it all though. That very sweet reminder of that one day in spring, only a few weeks before our junior year in high school was about to end. I was only sixteen.

Innocent. Naive. Dreamy.

In my mind, the scene still played on in a rose-colored memory of him: strikingly tall, popular, charming, and too handsome in all his glory football captain uniform. He had asked me to meet with him that day, telling me to wait on our usual spot after his field practice. That had been the busiest month for him too. They were about to enter another League coming next school year and he was preparing so many things for the school's football team.

I had always been a childhood friend. Although I had been nursing a huge crush on him for so many years since we were kids, I never tried to act on my feelings. I was fine anyway. I never desired to be more than just a friend. It was enough for me. 

I never expected anything from our friendship. I knew that despite having one-sided feelings for him the whole time, it was totally impossible for me to ever really make that mutual. But on that day... something felt different. He had told me to see him near the football field just by the huge garden beside the school building. I showed up there just after the last class I had on that day and waited patiently for him at one of those picnic tables near the bleachers. 

Initially, I really thought it only had something to do with a school paper that was due that week. I was clueless at that moment. Then there he was. Approaching from the distance with that boyish smile on his face, waving his hand at me as he rushed. It made my heart skip a beat just watching him from where I sat. I was totally mesmerized. I wasn't even going to lie, I was a goner.

Who knew this guy would even give me the time of his day? A lot of girls were already pissed at me for being just acquainted with him. Well, it was pretty expected, given that the most famous guy in school was associating himself with an average girl like me... and because I had been friends with him longer than anybody was. In addition to that, the growing frustration and pressure among everybody around him knowing that he was still single. 

Surely, anyone would want to be the one to snatch that trophy and make everyone else jealous. Even I, myself included, had actually attempted to confess to him too, in hopes that he would have felt the same. But it had only been a foolish dream though. I was overwhelmed by fear before I could even do anything about my infatuation and so, I conveniently stepped back because I knew I never stood a chance anyway.

I drew the line that ever since then. There was no way we could end up dating for real. But for some reason, things had suddenly taken a turn that very day. And before I realized it, Charles had taken the space right beside me at the picnic table. Too close. He was closer... than I would have ever imagined.

That totally startled me as I felt heat crept up to my face.

I tried to calm myself down. It was unusual for him to invade my personal bubble like this but I forcibly considered that as him just being unaware of our proximity. But then... it happened. Something that I had never quite expected to ever happen for real but it did. I could not breathe for a few seconds the moment it dropped on me.

I no longer remember what we had talked about first that day, the only thing that I could recall vividly now was him giving me that attractive smirk. He had leaned a little closer, staring intensely into my eyes, and tried his best to pretend that he was confident, when in fact, it was pretty obvious that he was really nervous and he kept fidgeting and shifting his weight over the seat beside me. 

Shortly after those few moments of just staring... he whispered to me.

I can never forget that. How I was just waiting right there, for whatever he was going to tell me that he told me was so important that time. We just sort of fell into that kind of conversation, and I guess it might have been also affected by other stuff since we had been surrounded by the cozy ambiance of that afternoon spring. The sunset, the wind blowing on our faces, the surreal calmness... and that sweet youthful feeling that you kind of get when you find yourself alone with your longtime crush. 

I mean me... A big nerd... being that close to someone like him. The school heartthrob.

But at that moment, all that I could ever think about as I stared back at him, this boyish smiling beau who looked so sure but also a bit shy as he failed to mask the blushing of his cheeks when he met my eyes, was "oh damn... I really like this boy."

I was just so in love with him.

"Regina... I really like you so much. Can you be my girlfriend?"

His voice had trembled yet it sounded so dreamy in my ears. After hearing him, I was just too afraid to open my mouth and say anything. My mind went blank as I mentally screamed at myself. All I could ever really think about as I gazed at his eyes that had never strayed off of mine for that long moment, was how to slap my face so hard until it hurt just so I could prove that I did not mishear anything. 

It was the very first time someone confessed to me... And I was extremely lucky that it even happened to me that way. What can I ever wish for? It was all there: A perfect guy... A sweet confession, and a romantic first kiss.

No hassle... it was purely innocent, cute, and heart-fluttering.

It was just what I would have always wanted it to be. Cause I was a simple girl, and all I ever wanted was to meet a simple nice guy who would love me... just as much as I was in love with him. But that fairytale was not more than just a lucid fantasy when that tragic day happened a few years after... That day when I found out that he was cheating on me. 

The prince charming... the one who had built my 'once upon a time', the man of my dreams, the person I was supposed to marry and love for the rest of my life... he turned out to be a complete bastard.

And I don't know what else to do... The pain left me conflicted about facing him again. I was too furious and disgusted. I regretted everything. As soon as the betrayal hit me right in the face, I just suddenly want to stop everything else. I wanted to take it all back.

And maybe that was why I had been given this big chance to return back in time. To this new past. Maybe, it was for the better too. Because ever since I went back to being the young sixteen-year-old version of myself after knowing about my tragic future with Charles, I came with the decision to change everything about myself.

I won't ever end up the way my old future self had ended up at that time. I will re-do my life and start anew. Even if it means I had to leave Charles and become a different person. I would do it... because this time, I am choosing myself. 

I AM DOING THIS FOR MYSELF.