The Night I Woke Up Beside You

[SEASON 1] Chapter 5: Restart From Scratch

"I can't believe this," Maddy said out loud. 

They were now on their way out of the front door of their house and both immediately feeling relieved to finally escape from that very awkward breakfast conversation they just had with their dad this morning. That had been pretty intense. And Maddy let out a long wistful sigh as soon as the morning breeze hit her face because it felt nice and she breathed it in. Her words had sounded more like a mixture of dramatic disbelief and plain amusement as she turned around and gave Regina a sly smirk over her shoulder and added, "You just lied to dad. As in flat-out lied to him, and you didn't even flinch. At all. I can't really believe you."

Who would have thought, right?

Regina halted on her tracks and looked at the back of her sister's head, rolling her eyes, when Maddy started walking ahead of her. Her sister was exaggerating. She did not practically lie at all. She had been honest at the very least, even though it was not completely true. She just did not include everything else that she felt was unnecessary and would only make things even more complicated. And even when she had felt guilty for keeping something from her father, it was not that big of a lie for her to feel like a bad person right away. Everyone lies. And Regina had lied numerous times in her life before. Yet, of course, that's beyond the fact that she was now stuck in her sixteen-year-old self. And if this was her real sixteen-year-old self without her twenty-six-year-old brain inside, she would have never done this at all. 

Maddy could not even determine if she was impressed or bothered. And she shook her head at the thought of her younger sister lying so easily because she still could not believe something like this was even possible. 

"You just turned into a certified b***h overnight," Maddy said, "Breaking up with Charles, riding on a motorcycle with Townsend. And then lying to dad about Townsend--" Maddy scoffed, frowning as she twisted her head around to glance again at Regina, "I have no words. Really. Are you sure you're my sister? I can't even tell if you're real or not."

"Maybe, she just woke up and finally realized she needed to change," Regina said with a shrug, vaguely insinuating something more than what her words had simply meant even when she knew Maddy would never really get her point. And Maddy just gave her an odd look, squinting her eyes at her, while Regina just casually smiled.

"So a thrilling ride at the back of Townsend's motorcycle made you change into this?" Maddy commented in a teasing tone and started laughing as she stopped by the foot of the front steps in front of their house. Then she paused to smirk at Regina with a sparkling glint in her eyes. 

"Well, yeah. I guess, that had been quite something too," Regina admitted thoughtfully, her mind quickly drifting back to the memory of the Sandalwood surrounding her, the cold wind blowing on her face, the scent of masculinity, his hard-toned abs... and Ryan. Then she grimaced and shoved it all out of her head right away. Uh-oh, wrong move, she quickly warned herself. He's hot but you're not going to do this, stop it. She felt angry for even thinking about him this way. And as if to convince that she was not going to feel it again, she quickly clarified her words to Maddy after a short pause, "But this is about me. And I'm reinventing myself. I'm not doing this for anybody. And Townsend's not in it."

"Yeah, right. And I'm not blind, sis," Maddy said in a mocking tone, her eyes half-lidded as she blankly stared at her sister and crossed her arms over her chest, saying, "Just admit that you're really a bad b***h all this time. And that, contrary to everyone's belief, you're actually way worse than I am."

Regina snorted loudly, almost wanting to laugh at her sister while shaking her head. She did not really know what to say back to her. She was not even sure whether to take that as a joke or be fairly offended by that comment. But then again, Regina had been used to this since they were kids. Maddy had always been too frank and unapologetically assertive about things. She never really felt the need to think about her words first nor she even had any filter whenever she would say what she had in her mind. And as she looked down to her sister, who was staring back at her with a smug grin, Regina just gave Maddy a soft smile, more like in a forgiving way, because she was just that glad that she could talk to her like this again.

"I don't think I could even beat you if I wanted to, Maddy," Regina just replied, taking the last few steps of the front stairs until she stood side by side with her sister on the front driveway.

"Right," Maddy snorted, "I'm older and dumber. But seriously... I don't know what it is, but you've just completely changed, Reg," Maddy said, sounding a little serious than a while ago as she gazed at Regina, "Though I still don't know if this is actually a good version of you or the nasty one. Who knows? Maybe, it's about time."

"And I've always wanted to change. You already know that Mads," Regina said a little too defensively as she watched Maddy turned to head straight to their garage and get her car. 

Then Regina heard her sister loudly replying back to her over her shoulder as she walked away, "But not everyone would like the change, sis."

And she was right. Pondering over what Maddy had just said this time, Regina got stressed. Then she quickly realized her next dilemma: school. And now, she almost wanted to cry again. She had been so occupied thinking about her father, and Ryan, that she almost forgot that she was actually going to face an even much bigger problem soon. Oh, damn. She was going to enter high school again, as a tenth grader. And of course, she should no longer be that surprised to find that the news about her break-up with Charles had already been told to everyone at school. It was pretty obvious that at least one from the huge audience they got last night would eventually broadcast everything to everybody else. And Regina could not really blame the gossip. If Charles had only made it more discreet and kept it to themselves first, she would never really have to worry about this today.

Damn, Charles... that cheating bastard.

Turning around and frowning hard as Regina thought of a plan on how she would go through the entire day dealing with the rest of the consequences, she immediately noticed the big black bike that was still placed on their lawn and stopped. Seeing the bike had immediately made her think about Ryan again and she started wondering more about him. Was he going to show up at school today too?

Then a honk startled Regina, jolting her out of her thoughts, and she noticed the car stopping beside her on their driveway. The driver's window slowly slid down and Regina saw her sister smirking at her from the inside. Maddy even had worn her sunglasses on top of her head.

"Come on," Maddy told her with a smug grin when Regina did not even move from her spot, "Let's not waste more minutes. Attendance is a must. You better haul that ass in here, sis. Tick. Tock."

And since Regina had no other choice but to follow, she just did as she was told. With a dreadful look on her face, she got in the passenger seat and put the seatbelt over her, safely securing it. Maddy readjusted the rearview mirror and pressed the player on the console to play some rockband music that she loved as she started pulling out of their driveway and hit the road. Here they go, Regina found herself muttering quietly from her seat, as she took a deep breath and looked out of the window beside her. She was really going back to school. 

Again. 

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"Alright."

It did not take them long before they had finally reached the parking lot of their school. The view of the students walking their way to the front gates of the school and into the building had made Regina feeling more frightened to get out of the car. The thought of having to walk down the halls of Perry High and deal with the entire high school drama, with all the stares and then the rumors, sunk in her head right away. And Regina panicked.

"Lucky us," Maddy spoke from the driver's seat as she soon found a free space at the furthest end on the furthest row of cars parked in the huge lot and glanced at her sister sitting beside her with a beaming smile on her face. "It's a good omen, see? We found a spot and we still have a few minutes more before the first class. Brighten up, will ya?"

But it was still a good twenty-meter-long walk from the very entrance of the school building and Regina felt even worse. It only made this entire situation even more unbearable for her to go to class. But Maddy was still in high spirits as she clumsily and hastily parked the car in her chosen space, driving as if the steering wheel and the car wheels had minds of their own. It felt like it had been hours when she had finally managed to hit the right spot and turned the engine off. Then she turned to look at Regina.

"I will be a little late today, so you need to go home by yourself," She said to her sister in one breath. And Maddy already expected Regina to complain. But Regina had paused for a moment as she tried to absorb what she just said. And when she finally get the gist of it, her face slowly broke into a look of total distress.

"What?!" Regina whined back, "I don't want to go home alone. I need you to help me today. You know how rumors start to spread fast in school. Most of the kids had seen what happened to us at the party last night. I would be eaten alive today and I'm completely defenseless, Maddy."

"Well, it's not my fault that you just suddenly wanted to break up with Charles last night. You should have known everyone will eventually turn their back on you when you did that. So, what do you expect?" Maddy said in a matter-of-fact tone, sounding very reasonable and unbothered. Yet Regina scowled.

"I'm so glad you're trying to be on my side right now."

"Look," Maddy let out a sigh, twisting to her side to face her sister, "I'm still a busy person, and it's not my problem that you got love issues. It's yours and Charles'. Forget what people tell you, they're not the ones who went through it."

She got a point, but Regina was desperate. "I need you, Maddy. Please."

"You know I love you," Maddy tried to look sympathetic, her eyes turning soft as she gazed back to Regina, then added, "But I don't love you that much to throw myself right under the bus with you today. So sorry. You need to go out there and face the demons alone. You already got the sword and the armor right up in your sleeves. You can do this."

She was mocking her. And Regina felt so alone as she scowled at Maddy. Sighing loudly, she turned to her other side and looked out of the window beside her, and whimpered as she saw more students walking down the road. She can't do this at all. Regina felt dizzy.

"What if I just skip today?" she said out loud.

Maddy glowered at her, "Do you want to die?"

Regina turned to look at her sister helplessly and desperately said, "I can't go out there right now. I will see Charles. And I can't go to class."

"Yes, you would," Maddy argued, grumbling her words, "You're not that b***h enough to skip classes like Townsend. This is just a challenge. You'll get out of this car right now and hold your head high. It's not so bad, sis--" Maddy tried to sound optimistic, but she knew it was not enough even when she was smiling so hard at her sister--"Just live through it. Maybe you could even take advantage of this while you're at it. Look on the bright side, you lure the vultures to you so they would come begging for the juicy gossip and then live on by telling the tale about how you actually left the school's golden boy hanging out to dry. It's like Gossip Girl, but only with less budget and more cheap talk."

She tried to humor but Regina looked like she was going to vomit. Her face went pale and grim.

"You're cruel," was all that Regina could say as she took a deep breath, reaching for the door handle. Then she muttered in a pained voice, "This is torture. And I hate my life."

And Maddy was there, smiling at her encouragingly as she responded back, "No, you love it," then she watched Regina opened the door from her side as she added, "Good luck, sis."

Regina winced, consciously aware of the stares she immediately received as soon as she got out of the car and gently closed the door behind her. Good luck, her ass. And the day finally began.

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"Don't say anything."

Regina was just that glad and too relieved to manage her way into the school building and to her locker as soon as she left the safer premises of her sister's car at the parking lot. And when she opened her locker door, she was so quick to pick out the heavy attention she had been getting from everyone around her. And when her best friend, Daisy, came up beside her with that whole excitement and anticipation drew on her face, Regina closed her eyes and inhaled sharply as she cut her off before Daisy could even say anything.

"Why?" Daisy complained, frowning at Regina as her shoulders sagged from disappointment, "I had been calling you since last night right after the news started spreading. Can you even believe it? The only time my best friend was finally allowed to go and attend a party and I wasn't even there to witness it all. And now, I missed a big moment too. I'm so bummed."

"You didn't miss anything that much," Regina brushed her off as she closed her locker and pulled Daisy's arm as they started walking. "I was barely there."

"What are you saying?" Daisy eagerly retorted, her voice getting higher every time she gets too excited about something, "You just broke up with your first love... On the same night, he even proclaimed his undying love for you right in front of everyone else here. Are you nuts? Of course, I missed something big."

"No, what you missed was me acting like a villain, antagonizing the most popular guy in school. It's what it is," Regina stated briefly, not even showing any hint of heartache as she rushed her way through the narrowed space in the hallway that was now filled with more students. "But I'm not regretting what I did. I have decided that I needed to focus on myself first. It's about time I do."

"You're kidding, right? What's all this mature talk? You're sixteen," Daisy replied with a withering look, and Regina almost wanted to laugh at what she just said. Then with a much-lowered voice, Daisy leaned closer to her and curiously whispered to Regina, "What about your virginity? It's still safe, right?"

"It's gone."

Daisy went cold and immediately stopped walking as soon as she heard what Regina answered her. Goodness. Her abrupt halt had sent Regina stumbling back on her feet and she immediately turned and glared at her friend who was now staring at her as if she had grown two heads.

"I can't believe this. You still did it?" Daisy said in a hollowed voice, her eyes looking past Regina's shoulder, as she stared at something so far away, "You broke up with him and still did it."

"No," Regina corrected her, rolling an eye, and said, "We did it first, and then I broke up with him."

Daisy's eyes moved and she focused on her friend with widened eyes as she slowly shook her head. Her face void of any expression, "Still not much of a difference. It's so sad."

"It's not a big deal."

"I feel like my heart is aching," Daisy revealed. Regina paused and frowned at her friend.

"I should be the one saying that," she told Daisy, almost scoffing, "And stop romanticizing everything about relationships. We're not in the movies. And it's not like we would last forever."

"You sound so mean," Daisy's face scrunched up, and the look she gave her got Regina feeling a little bit guilty as she heard say, "It's so unfair because I know that you two love each other so much."

"You don't know that," Regina said, a little too defiant, pulling Daisy's arm again so they can walk to their first class before they missed the bell. More people were already trying to eavesdrop on them as they talked and Regina was feeling a little bit antsy.

"I know you love him," She heard Daisy muttering behind her, after a moment, as they walked in a haste. And Daisy felt bitter inside.

"I loved him," Regina clarified, sighing out loud, "But this time, I am choosing to love myself more."

And Daisy was already about to say something but they suddenly stopped when they reached their room. Regina quickly freed her arm to walk through the doorway with not much of a glance at her again. Daisy paused to watch her friend ignore the meaningful looks everyone was giving her as soon as she walked inside. She felt really bad. And she could just tell it... That there was something more to this. 

Something much even sadder than the fact that Regina had let go of the first man she ever truly loved.

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