An unexpected twist of fate

Keeping my promise

I waited a few seconds when I heard some footsteps approaching, the door opened slowly and a grey miserable face appeared. She was looking down then she slowly lifted her head, when she saw it was me standing there her eyes almost lit up, until she realized once again what has just happened. She looked at me with such sad eyes as I opened my mouth to start speaking she just grabbed me into a hug and started sobbing. In That moment I knew there was nothing I could say to make any of this easier, but instead I just held her and stroked her back while she collapsed into my embrace. We stood there for quite a few minutes before she stood up straight wiped her tears and gestured for me to come in. We walked over to her sitting room and she sat forcefully onto her couch. 

“Ms Green I am so sorry, I know that anything I say won’t make this any easier but I just want you to know that Marcey was the closest person to me and I will miss her more than anything.” I was calm but soothing when I spoke, I hadn’t shed a tear which I was proud about.

She just stared at me, “Cindy” she calmly said to me.

“Pardon?” I asked

“Please Ang call me Cindy, we have known each other for far too long and you being formal is making this weird.” I let out a little giggle, I’m not sure why I kept doing that. It was like all my emotions had gotten mixed up.

“Cindy” I said with a smile, “I really am sorry and my whole family sends there condolences to you.”

She was very still, just staring at me, it wasn’t terribly uncomfortable but it was a little awkward as I didn’t know whether to keep looking at her or kind of dart my eyes around. I think she saw my eyes trying to decide and then she just started crying again. I knew the whole house because in high school I would just about live in this house. I ran to go get the tissues as the ones she had next to her were all finished. When I came back I sat right next to her and gave her the box. She took them and used about 3 to try and get all the tears off her stained face. 

“I’m really glad you are here Angelica” she tried to smile but I could tell she was doing it voluntarily 

“Me too Cindy, I just wish it wasn’t for this reason.”

We both stared at each other and for about the next half an hour we just sat in silence enjoying each other’s company as a piece of us had just been ripped out of our chests. She often got a tissue to wipe away the tears that kept coming down her checks. It was actually really nice not having to talk to anyone or explain what happened or be asked how I’m feeling or doing and I’m sure Cindy felt exactly the same. 

She finally spoke and asked me very softly, if anyone else was in the room with us they would not be able to hear her, “will you say something at her funeral?” 

Her funeral... I, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to. I’m barely a public speaker at best and now at my worst you want me to speak in front of all of Marceys close friends and family? I mean I couldn’t right out say no to the woman who had taken care of me when my parents weren’t home and I didn’t have food in my fridge. 

“I would really like that.” I said sweetly, “when is the funeral Cindy?”

At the mention of her name she looked at me almost stunned, her face changed to the sad distraught one she had on when she opened the door for me. “It’s on Wednesday, at 10am.” I smiled back at her not a big smile just a small one acknowledging her statement. 

“Before I leave I’d like to put these flowers in a vase my mom picked them from her garden and I know how much you and Marcey liked the smell of bougainvilleas” 

She nodded and I headed to the kitchen and looked in the cupboard where she usually kept her vases I chose one that would fit the amount of flowers I had, filled it with water and placed the flowers inside. I carried the vase into the dinning room and placed them on a table that she usually had flowers on but it was bare. I know it not the best thing to bring someone when their daughter has just died but I thought that maybe the smell of them would send her a little peace knowing that her daughter will forever be a part of us and she is still here with us in spirit. 

I gave her a really big hug and told her I’d see her on Wednesday. She sat on the couch staring out the window as I let myself out the house. 

I let out a deep breathe that I had felt I’d been holding the whole time I was there. I was glad I had done that but it made none of this any better and I felt a little worse that now I had to say a speech at her funeral. What was I going to say, How was I going to be able to stand up there looking at all those people who had probably wished it was me lying in that coffin instead of her. I felt sick to my stomach, literally, I ran behind the bushes and threw up what very little I had in my stomach. At least I kept my promise and stayed strong, for Marcey.