Dear CEO

Chapter 5 - No way

I run. Smiling. Laughing. I run more, feeling tall grass weeds tickling my bare thighs. I run, the cold wind rushing past my ears.

“Stop!” Libo shouts making me break in my tracks and turn to look at his wide eyes.

“What?” I call back, eager to know what his problem is.

His little body starts to jump hysterically up and down as he points at a spot, a few feet in front of me.

“Snake!”

My whole mood shifted from happy to a nervous wreck. It felt as if I turned into a statue, completely rooted to the ground, my eyes the only thing on my body, moving.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should run, or trample the thing with my feet cause that’s the only weapon I have with me right now.

I hold my gaze at Libo, not wanting to see any kind of slithering snake.

“Just don’t move.” Libo says, holding his hands in the air.

I nod, swallowing all my gathered spit. Although I’ve heard about a lot of snakes being found around here, I’ve never been in this situation. I’ve never even seen a snake in real life and I'm not planning to see one, so I hope that this snake just goes away.

Libo starts to stalk, slowly and cautiously towards the area he pointed at. I bite my lips hoping that nothing serious will come out of this situation.

I feel scared and I wish I could just run away. But I can’t leave Libo, he’s trying to rescue me. And what if the snake comes after me. I shake in despair. I think snakes are my biggest fear, other than height.

“Got you!”

What?

He points his finger at me as laughter spills out of his mouth. He even has to hold his stomach to contain his suffocating laughter.

“You i***t!” I yell at him, feeling relieved but also angry.

He continues to snigger and point at me as I storm towards him.

“It’s not funny.” I scold him, putting my hands on my hips. I glare at him, hoping he feels bad.

“Your face.” He mocks me.

“I will get you back, just wait.”

“Yeah right,” He lifts his shoulders and rolls his eyes, “I’m not a scaredy cat like you.”

“You just wait.” I assure him. I have to come up with a plan that’ll get him to his knees.

When he’s finally done laughing at me, we head back home. He lived two houses from me and considering that our houses are so small we technically lived right next to each other.

“You smell that?” Libo asks, sniffing hard into his nose.

I catch whiffs of a delicious smell and I know it’s Mama Lotty’s work.

“That’s Mama Lotty. She always makes the best food.” I announced. Becoming older, I wanted her to teach me how to make delicious food, but she only let me do the chopping.

“Yeah, you lucky, I wish my mom made nicer food.”

“I’m sure she makes good food.” I say, trying to comfort him.

“Yeah, but not as good as yours.”

I smile, feeling my neck burnt and probably red. Mama Lotty isn’t going to be happy. I admire Libo’s dark skin, so much. I’ve never seen him getting burnt or any other african person.

“Well, okay, Libo, have a nice evening.” I say, standing in front of our small aluminum house.

Libo wraps his small arms around my body murmuring a soft ‘goodbye’.

I wipe the beads of sweat that formed on my forehead with the back of my before entering.

“Wow, it’s warm in here.” I call, switching on the fan standing in the corner of the living room. Everything is so dark in here, but given we have almost no windows and live in a shack. I sigh entering the kitchen, Mama Lotty’s back facing me as she stirs something in the pot.

“What smells so good.” I ask, sniffing hard so that she can hear me. She turns and looks at me with a small smile until her eyes glances down.

“Amelia!” She shouts, her expression turning angry, “Look at you.” Her hand gestures at the rest of my body.

I swallow and look down at my dirty clothes. The light pink T-shirt and gray shorts she recently just bought for me.

“It can just be washed.” I state the obvious, raising my shoulders.

“Amelia,” She points at me with stern eyes, “It’s not about that.”

I sigh, “Then what is it about?”

I actually know what is coming. Once again.

“You know what it's about, Amelia.” She viciously stirs the pot and eyes me with knitted eyebrows.

“No I don’t.” I lie, challenging her.

“Libo is nine, Amelia.” She yells, putting her hands on her hips.

“Yes, and?” I know exactly where this is going, but here I am pretending I’m stupid.

“You’re seventeen, you’re turning eighteen in two months, Amelia!”

“What is so wrong with running around with a nine year old. We are friends.” I sigh, feeling the small lump in my throat turning bigger and bigger.

“Soon you will have to be socializing with people your age.” She rubs her hands over her face as if she’s more frustrated than I am. If she just knew how over I am with this type of conversation. It feels like I want to pull all my hair out of my head or just hit it continuously against a wall.

“I know that.” I roll my eyes, wishing that this could be over.

“How are you even coping with no friends?” She swallows as if she regrets what she said.

“Really fine.” I inspect my nails, showing her that I really don’t care what she has to say.

“Amelia!” Her voice is like a warning sign flashing red in my head and that’s what mademe snap.

I grip my thumbs tightly in both my hands holding the urge to start screaming like a maniac, “Mama,” I say cautiously, breathing heavily through my nostrils, “you are not walking in my shoes.”

We stay in a bubble of complete silence for a while before she starts speaking again.

“Then tell me what’s it like?” I can see that she tries to stay calm just like me.

“It doesn’t matter,” I raise my hands high in the air, “You don’t know,so you can’t say things-”

“I can not what?” She chirps, giving a small swat at a fly irritating the both of us, “I can not tell you what’s best for you as a guardian, who cared for you since you were little. I don't have anything to say?”

I grit my teeth and lower my head, feeling like the wrong one, once again. Maybe I am the wrong one. Maybe I have too many issues. But I know for a fact that Mama Lotty always brings up the fact that she took me in and I could've been in a whole different, worse situation, growing up. Still I didn’t ask her to take me in.

“It’s hard, okay.” I say, wiping the tears brimming my eyes. I sigh. Why is it always the waterworks? I need to learn how to stand strong.

“What is hard, Ameilia.” All her attention is focused on me, knowing that she wishes to get more words out of me.

“It’s hard to make friends.” I look down feeling ashamed. I really didn’t want to admit it.

“Why is it hard, Amelia?” She asks, biting her lips.

I wipe the fat angry tears from my cheeks and look at her through a blurry view.

“I don’t know, no one seems to like me.”

She frowns at me not saying anything as she starts to stir in the pot again.

Now I’m standing like a loser, waiting for her to say whatever she wants to say.

“I know it’s hard.” She says softly, accepting the fact that she was a bit too harsh.

I hold my breath as she continues talking.

“I know the world is sometimes ugly, my dear.” Finally with the dear. I hate it when she calls me by my name because then I know something is up, just like now.

I nod, trying to push away my falling tears. I know I must look like a total i***t right now with tears and snot running down my face like I’ve been holding it in for weeks.

“But you worry too much.” Her words softly pinch at my heart. I thought from now forth she was going to say more soothing words to calm me.

“I don’t.” I state, sniffing.

“You do. You worry too much about what other people think of you.” And that’s the truth.

I swallow, desperately wanting to fall into her arms for her to comfort me, but she doesn’t deserve it. I need to stay mad.

“It’s hard not to.”

She clicks her tongue, turns around and disappears for a seconds, coming back with her black and white hand mirror. She shoves it in front of my face and makes me jerk backwards out of reaction. Why does she have to be so violent?

I bite my lips and look in the mirror as she ushers me too. I swallow and look back at her, raising my eyebrows. I feel confusion invading my thoughts. Why does she want me to look in a mirror, right in the middle of our argument?

“Look.” She yells impatiently, gripping the mirror hard in her hands.

“Yes, I’m looking.” I say, still unsure of what her meaning is behind this.

“Don’t you see.” Her voice is gaspy and her eyes become two big circles. The eyes of pity. Now she’s not angry anymore. Now she pities me.

I bite my lips as she starts to smooth my hair with her fingertips.

“Don’t you see the beauty you hold.”

I briefly close my eyes, a flash of memories racing in my head.

“Your hair reminds me of those hairs you get on corn.”

“Wow, your eyes don't even fit on your face.”

It’s always the pretty popular girls stayin stuff like that too. They even go out of their way to mess food on me, or humiliate me in front of the whole school. That’s why I can’t wait to just finish school and not eat lunch in the bathroom anymore. Just have freedom.

“I don’t see any beauty.” I say, through gritted teeth. I fumble with my hands hoping that she’ll just end the conversation.

“Are you crazy?” She yells, clicking her tongue numerous times.

“No I’m not.” I ruffle my hair, letting irritating strands out of my face.

“Why do you think that?” She challenge me,

“Because I’m not. Everyone at school thinks I’m ugly, it’s hard to make friends, so stop lying.”

“Who in the world would think you’re ugly?” She eyes me with concern.

“Everyone that matters.” I look down, tring to hold tears from brimming my eyes.

She starts to chuckle, “They’re jealous.” She says as if stating the obvious.

I sniff and shake my head before she continues talking.

“Look at this thick beautiful blonde hair. Look at your big green eyes. Look at yourself.”

This time I do. I look in the mirror and notice beauty. I always did, but how most people treated me, I made sure I always saw someone ugly in the mirror.

“They’re just jealous of you Amelia.”

Somehow I knew it. It isn’t normal to be mean to anyone. I know they’re just jealous. I always knew it. But because they made me feel small, it made me act small. It became the most vulnerable part of me.

I lay my head on her chest letting her caress my head.”

“It’s time for you to show them that you are more than just beauty. It’s time to show your power.” Her voice is powerful and I wonder if she ever stood up to bullies when she was younger.

I grit my teeth,knowing that she’s right. It’s time. Even if Ionly have a few months left of school. It’s time I show them.

.