Jasmine petal fallen on cigarette ash

Chapter 4

Two months flew by in a hurry. It didn’t allow anybody to sit down and reflect. Within those two months, I worked like a horse, learning English, British manners and how to make a typical British meal. My dedicated teacher, Lady Anna, Mr. Truong, and Mrs. Bach Cuc were overly satisfied with my hard work. My dowry trunks went up from three to five. That was honestly wonderful. My life was shining!!!!

On the wedding day, the maids woke me up when King Sun was still enjoying his beautiful sleep. The street over the window was dark and silent.

I niddled-noddled when they busied preparing me to be the most beautiful bride in Albionne, trying to sleep as much as possible. Oi patted my shoulder, signalling me that it’s time. Over these months, she had not trusted me yet, but we had been somewhat closer. I started as I saw myself in the mirror. I wore a blood-red Nhật Bình, clouds and waves winding on the dress’s square collar and sleeves. My, actually Cam Van’s, already perfect skin was covered with a thin layer of phấn nụ, smooth and shiny like Bat Trang porcelain. My blossom-pink lips gave off a sweet scent like the smell of a fresh lotus petal bathed in morning fog. Sometimes when I put on makeup, I am simply excited at the beauty that I could never discover in myself before. It’s a pure, beautiful joy, not for the applause, not for the attention, just for myself.

Oi put a red veil over the big blue mấn on my head. The veil felt like a brick, pulling my head down and down. I could hear a c***k in my neck. Every colour turned red the moment the veil covered my face. It felt like I was trapped in an iron cage with nowhere to escape. I could not see anything except the tiny oval patterns on the veil.

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On our way to church, I could not sense a single thing but the heat and the weight of the veil. It dragged my head up and down along the bumpy road. I wondered if it could jerk my head out of my neck if we spent longer on the road. I could see a thin layer on the head of my nose through the corner of my eyes. Luckily, the car stopped not long after that.

Through the veil, I could see the blurry, imposing shape of the Soul Blessing church. As I heard from the locals, the church was the town's most ancient and magnificent architecture. It had witnessed the attachment of thousands of passionate couples, and not really passionate ones, from generation to generation. I swung my hand around, reaching for Mr. Truong’s arm. I almost reached the point of complete blindness. I had to depend on Mr. Truong for direction and movement. He told me when to stop, continue, and where the steps were. I appreciated him for that a lot. He hadn’t been so gentle with me like that since the first time I came to this world. But if you ask me whether I had feelings for him like a Dad, I can confidently say “No”. I looked at him like my boss, with the accommodation offered in the job description, and I had put all my effort into becoming the most excellent employee.

As I walked down the aisle, in the lilting music and the rose petals flying, my mind was a blank. The cold air became an ice snake, wiggling freely along my neck and back. I bit my lips, trying not to shiver. The two lines of people along the hallway appeared as the two fuzzy black shapes, looking like the armies of the Death, ready to pull me to hell by their chains. Sweat from my right palm formed a little pond on the sleeves of Mr. Truong’s luxurious ngũ thân tay thụng. The amount of sweat secreted on my left palm was enough to kill the little pretty bouquet. Their death could be reported as: died of sodium shock.

Benedict's earnest gesture, along with the small shape of the priest behind him, came closer and closer. The closer the distance, the faster my heart pounded. I could hear its powerful thumb in my ear. But I reminded myself that this was not my real life. I was suffering this as an exchanged price for my real life. Think of it, I became braver.

Mr. Truong handed my hand to Benedict’s. I quickly curled my fingers into a fist. I was scared that my sweat would make him feel disgusted and disrespected. I could feel his body still. But just for a while. He gripped my little fist, and we both turned to the priest. The ceremony went over like a dream, in which everything was a blur. People at that wedding were like the shadows that I could never reach my hand to touch. And of course, the part of the groom kissing his bride was removed entirely, to no surprise.