CHAPTER 2

1868 Words
KAEL I didn't sleep that night. I lay in the dark of my chambers, staring at the ceiling I couldn't see, and replayed those fragmented syllables until they blurred into abstraction. Appreciation. Alpha. Had she said 'the Alpha' or 'Alpha Thorne'? Had there been more words I'd missed because the connection was too weak, too new, like a radio signal cutting through static? I pressed my palms against my ears. Stupid. Useless. Like pressing harder on a lock would somehow change the shape of the key. By dawn, I'd convinced myself it meant nothing. By mid-morning, I'd unconviced myself. By noon, I'd rewritten the summons to the orphanage four times, each version more carefully worded than the last. The first had been a command: Send the representative who visited yesterday. Immediately. Too desperate. The second: I wish to discuss the supply provisions in person. Too vague. The third: The painting requires a formal presentation. Send the artist. Closer, but it revealed that I cared about the painting, and caring was a vulnerability I couldn't afford. I settled on the fourth: The Alpha requests a meeting with the Riverside Orphanage administrator regarding the ongoing supply agreement. Tomorrow. Midday. Neutral. Administrative. The kind of letter that suggested nothing except bureaucratic routine. I handed it to Mohan, who read it, looked at me, and signed: You've never requested a meeting with the orphanage before. "I'm reviewing all territorial expenditures," I said, the lie tasting flat on a tongue that couldn't hear itself speak. "The orphanage is a line item. I want to see what my money is buying." Mohan held my gaze a beat too long. Then he nodded, pocketed the letter, and left. I spent the rest of the day in my study, not working. The territorial reports sat untouched. The Council's summit invitation gathered dust. I stood at the window and watched the road that led from Blackthorn Manor toward the village and the Riverside Orphanage beyond it, as if staring hard enough could accelerate time. The painting still leaned against the wall in the vestibule, wrapped in its blue cloth. I hadn't opened it. Every time I passed it, my hand drifted toward the fabric, and every time, I pulled back. The painting was evidence. Evidence that someone from that orphanage had been here, had spoken within range of my ears, and had somehow, impossibly, inexplicably, been heard. If I opened the painting, I'd be acknowledging that something had happened. And if something had happened, then the Moon Goddess hadn't lied, and if she hadn't lied, then... No. I would wait. Confirm. Approach this like a tactical problem, not an emotional one. The next morning, I dressed with more care than I had in months. I noticed myself doing it and stopped, my hands frozen on the buttons of a shirt I'd chosen specifically because it was newer than my usual ones. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Dark hair. Hard jaw. Eyes that people described as cold. I'd read that in enough treaty proposals and intelligence reports to know it was consensus. A body kept sharp by discipline and training, broad-shouldered, deliberate. The kind of face and frame that made other Alphas instinctively measure themselves. What was I doing? I unbuttoned the shirt, threw it on the bed, and grabbed the one I'd worn yesterday. Wrinkled. Serviceable. Fine. Then I changed back into the newer one and hated myself for it. At a quarter to noon, I positioned myself in the study with the door open, casual, as if I happened to be working near the entrance and wasn't waiting like a dog at a gate. The territorial reports were spread across the desk. Props. A stage set. Mohan appeared in the doorway, signing, 'The orphanage administrator is here.' She brought an assistant. An assistant. The word did something strange to my pulse. I kept my face neutral. "Show them in." Mohan led them to the study. The administrator came first, a tall, severe woman in her fifties with iron-grey hair and the bearing of someone who managed chaos for a living. The matron, I assumed. She entered the room with a professional smile already fixed in place, her mouth moving in what I guessed were pleasantries I couldn't hear. Behind her came... Not the girl. A different woman. Mid-twenties, with sharp features and dark hair pulled into a tight bun. She wore a pressed uniform and carried a ledger, and her eyes swept the room with the particular hunger of someone calculating the value of everything they saw. Not her. The disappointment hit me like a closed fist, and I crushed it immediately. Disappointment implied expectation. Expectation implied hope. And hope was a disease I'd inoculated myself against years ago. I sat behind my desk and gestured for them to sit. The Matron settled into the chair across from me, still talking. The other woman, her assistant, apparently, sat slightly behind, the ledger open on her lap. Mohan stood to the side, ready to interpret. I held up a hand. The Matron stopped speaking. I could tell by the way her jaw closed mid-syllable. "I want to discuss the supply agreement," I said, and Mohan signed along for the Matron's benefit. I spoke carefully, modulating my volume by watching their reactions. Too soft and they'd lean forward. Too loud and they'd flinch. It was exhausting, this constant calibration. Like walking a tightrope in the dark. The meeting lasted forty minutes. The Matron talked about budgets, about the growing number of orphans in the Riverside district, about maintenance costs and educational supplies. None of it mattered. I watched her mouth move and read Mohan's signed translations and processed absolutely nothing, because every fibre of my attention was focused on a single, burning question I couldn't ask without revealing myself: Where was the girl who came yesterday? Finally, when the Matron paused for breath, I spoke. "Yesterday's representative. The one who delivered the painting. Who was she?" The question fell into the room like a stone into still water. The Matron blinked. Glanced at her assistant. The assistant, the one with the sharp features and the hungry eyes, leaned forward slightly. Her mouth moved. Mohan signed: That was Seraphine. One of our older residents. She volunteers for errands. The Matron sends her because she's… manageable. I caught the hesitation. The slight curl of the assistant's lip when she said the name. "Manageable," I repeated. "What does that mean?" More lip movement. Mohan's hands: She's quiet. Obedient. Doesn't cause problems. And she knows sign language, which we thought would be… appropriate. Given your condition. Given my condition. A polite way of saying: We sent you the cripple because we figured you'd have something in common. The assistant's expression was carefully neutral, but something about it, a brightness in her eyes and a tilt to her chin, made the hair on the back of my neck rise. She wasn't just delivering information. She was curating it. Choosing what to include and what to leave out. "I'd like to speak with her," I said. "Seraphine. Send her tomorrow." The matron's eyebrows climbed. Her mouth moved rapidly. Mohan signed: The Matron asks if there was an issue with the painting.' She apologises if... "No issue. I'd like to discuss something with the artist directly." The assistant spoke again. Mohan: Calista, the assistant, says she can relay any message to Seraphine. There's no need for her to come in person. Calista. I filed the name. Looked at her carefully. She met my gaze with a confidence that bordered on challenge, and I recognised the expression instantly. I'd seen it on the faces of wolves who wanted something from me and were already calculating how to get it. "I wasn't making a request," I said, and let the Alpha authority settle into my words like weight into stone. The room went still. The Matron nodded quickly. Calista's confident expression flickered for just an instant into something harder. Resentment, maybe. Or jealousy. Interesting. They left. The study ended. Mohan lingered. You want to tell me what this is actually about? He signed. I looked at him. Mohan had been with me for twelve years. He'd followed me through six territory conquests, had stood beside me through the worst night of my life, had directly defied my most monstrous order and survived only because some buried part of me had known he was right. If there was anyone I could trust with the truth, it was him. But the truth was too fragile. Too strange. Too much like hope. "It's about the supply agreement," I said. Mohan's expression said he didn't believe a single syllable. But he nodded, turned, and left. I waited until his footsteps faded. Felt them through the floor, counted the intervals until they disappeared. Then I stood and walked to the vestibule. The painting was where I'd left it. Still wrapped. I reached for the blue cloth. Hesitated. My fingers brushed the fabric. Soft, old, worn down to a whisper of its original texture. The kind of fabric that had been held by many hands and clung to by small fingers. It smelled faintly of lavender and something else. Something warm. I unwrapped it. And for the second time in two days, the world tilted beneath my feet. It was me. But not the me I knew from mirrors or portraits or the cold reflections in treaty-room glass. This was a man standing at a window, this window, my study window, bathed in the amber light of late afternoon. His face was turned partially away, angled toward something beyond the glass, and in the set of his shoulders there lived a loneliness so precise, so carefully rendered, that looking at it felt like being flayed. She'd painted the silence. Not the curse. Not the deafness. The silence itself, that vast, pressing, inhabited emptiness that I'd never been able to describe to anyone, because how do you describe an absence to people who've never lost it? But she'd seen it. Somehow, from wherever she'd been standing – the courtyard, the gates, some vantage point I'd never know – she'd looked up at a window and seen a man drowning in quiet, and she'd put it on canvas with the kind of skill that made my hands shake. I held the painting at arm's length and studied it. The brushwork was extraordinary. Not decorative. Deliberate. Every stroke served the composition. The light wasn't just light; it was warmth he couldn't quite reach. The window wasn't just a window; it was a barrier between the man and the world he could see but not hear. She'd painted me like I was worth understanding. I set the canvas carefully against the wall and stepped back. My reflection stared back from the dark glass of the window, the same face, the same shoulders, but without the tenderness she'd given them. Without the vulnerability. Tomorrow, she would come. And I would hear her voice again, or I would discover that yesterday had been nothing but a cruel hallucination, and I would bury this hope alongside every other one I'd killed. Either way, I needed to know.
Free reading for new users
Scan code to download app
Facebookexpand_more
  • author-avatar
    Writer
  • chap_listContents
  • likeADD