Iceni

Chapter 5-1

Chapter 5

Insula MonaThe Goddess’ influence diminished, leaving Boudicca without the sense of personal invasion but still with the benefit of divine sagacity. Lovernios, she noticed, was holding her as if he would never let her go, tight, like some fragile, precious thing. As if he had lost her once too often before.

‘You’re back,’ he sighed in relief. Boudicca looked at him in surprise and recognition on some deeper level. ‘You were gone a long while,’ he explained, rapidly covering himself. ‘Nearly three days, you must be exhausted.’

Boudicca nodded. She was tired, and hungry, and started looking covetously over to the wood pigeon Lovernios had plucked and slowly roasted over his fire.

‘It’s for you. Help yourself.’

Unable to control herself, she grabbed the skewered bird, lifted it to her mouth and gnawed off chunks of flesh, chewing voraciously as if she had never eaten before. The pigeon was consumed in moments, leaving Boudicca with grease around her still full mouth and a wariness akin to any scavenging animal. Lovernios set a leather flask of water beside her. She drained the flask then turned and faced him, crouching down upon her haunches as if anticipating an attack.

Lovernios nodded to himself as if trying to sort his thoughts out before he committed them to words. ‘Your eating habits always were quite despicable.’ He looked at her sternly. ‘You’re not a raven, nor a wolverine. You’re a Queen. A little more dignity is called for, madam. You really will have to learn to control Her.’

He sat cross-legged in the teaching position, across the fire from her. The huge bear shuffled to its feet and docilely lumbered over to fall with a lollop by his knees, positioned so Lovernios could absent-mindedly tickle its ears with the minimum of exertion whilst he talked.

‘Madam, you know, as well as I, who Andraste is: The Mother in Her Darkest aspect — the slayer, the destroyer, the keeper of secrets. You know the c*****e She brings and the price She demands. But She promises victory and triumph and it has been a long while since the Iceni, or any of the Celtoi, have seen Her Manifest. You know we need Her presence for what’s to unfold and you’ve seen She was willing to be a part of it. Look how readily She has come to you, how easily She sits upon your psyche.

‘But Her nature is such that Her desires are often relentless in their pursuit. That is part of Her appeal for those who worship Her. It’s the appeal a woman has when she displays impetuosity and flightiness, pushing a man’s desire to its limits as he realises her untamed mystery. Often it’s a frivolity, occasionally an unrelenting driving force. In its purest form, it is never controlled by logic or reason. But, Manifest in you, She can be tempered, persuaded to wait, cautioned even. She’s wild and uncontainable but you’re strong willed enough to master Her by insisting She works through you, rather than you through Her.’

Boudicca shifted position, making herself more comfortable and assuming a less defensive stance.

‘She’s quiet now, but when She erupts again, let Her know She stays as a guest, not by right. All things Divine are of the One and acknowledge Celtoi freewill. Our peoples are loved for our fierce pride and enjoyment of all life can offer, without choice our exuberance would not provoke such delight in the One.’

Lovernios softened his voice. ‘There’s a part of me that loves you as much for Her presence as for yourself. That part of me has learned to be tempered, for it’s Her consort, and I’ve lived with the God within for many years. So I, too, know the things which you’re now experiencing, and I know them well.’ Boudicca gasped. ‘Together we’ve awaited Her return and I’ve had to teach the God patience or be torn in two by the pain of His desire. Those years have been long and we’ve come to such integration I can no more imagine life without His presence than He can bear to contemplate the loss of purpose without me.’

Lovernios reached out to touch her hand. ‘I can teach you the path to integration, for it is smooth and easy once it’s been discovered. Once more it’s the Finding of the route wherein the difficulty lies, once Found it can never be lost.’

Boudicca watched him, wide-eyed in wonderment. ‘Show me,’ she whispered urgently. ‘I can’t continue so fragmented, never knowing when I’ll know what my left hand might do, and when I will not.’

Softly he taught her: ‘See your mind. See the barriers which distinguish you from Her.’ Boudicca closed her eyes to concentrate. ‘See them as fences, as lines, as impassable defences. See them clearly, they divide you from each other, they keep you distinct so you squabble over your resources rather than share. The road doesn’t lie along those boundaries. I myself have travelled for days in my mind following the line of those defences to see if they ever ended or weakened. I’ve travelled in both directions, there’s no change either way. I’ve climbed and I’ve tunnelled. The way through the defences is to invite the Divine to dissolve the boundaries.’

Boudicca blanched and pulled away from him, staring in disbelief. He stroked her hand. ‘I know,’ he reassured her. ‘I understand how frightening it must be. But only She has the power to destroy the lines which keep you apart. They were put there, I know, for good reason, to preserve your sanity and identity, but they’re a false security. Without them She’ll have no need to erupt and smother you, it’ll be like it is now, in the lull between Visitations. Yet you’ll have constant access to the Divine, continual communication, and She’ll have no need to use force to make Herself known. Hence, through a gentle coexistence, you’ll maintain control without either of you needing to compromise.

‘Trust me,’ he whispered. ‘With the benefit of hindsight, it is the better way.’

‘Trust you. Again?’

‘When have I ever been wrong?’

Boudicca closed her eyes and called upon the Goddess to dissolve the barriers, adding the proviso that the invitation to share her mind was as a guest. Her own voice sounded weak and wavering in her head, like a thin child’s speech echoing around the halls of her mind as it uttered the invocation. It was a leap of faith for her, so she asked, as an afterthought, for the Goddess to be gentle.

The sturdy boundaries shimmered and undulated. They thinned to insubstantial wisps and dissipated like a spider’s web in a summer’s downpour. Boudicca expected some sort of onslaught from across the line where her defences had been. There was none, just a wash of warmth and gratitude. She wondered whether this was intended to lure her into a false sense of security.

‘Don’t you trust anyone, girl?’ A giggling question, quite sardonic in tone, then: ‘I’m not surprised; you’ve had a rough ride of it recently. Still, it’s not for Me to cosset you — I’m here to put it all right.’

It was a surprisingly comforting voice now. One which no longer needed to overexert itself to get what it wanted or to demand attention. It seemed more relaxed, more willing to consult her and work in harmonious partnership.

She looked at Lovernios in quiet thankfulness for finally providing the means to still the persistent voice inside her. She saw him in a fresh light, through the Goddess’ eyes, which softened his features and let her see his character emerge through his looks. He was not Prasutagus, he was different from that, but Prasutagus hadn’t been the only attractive man she’d ever met. She realised how very handsome Lovernios was. He chuckled as she appraised him a little longer than was possible for her to be able to get away with and still pretend she’d not been assessing him. Then he offered her his profile, sweeping back his long dark hair and holding his head up proudly.

Then it was her turn to laugh at his pretence at vanity. She reached up and pulled his head back down towards her and kissed him quite intensely. There was a raging passion within her now, like a torrent, driving her towards loving him. It might have been the Goddess at work; perhaps there were no longer two separate people here at all, just two Divine Beings. She didn’t care. She had mourned too long. It was all right to live now, not just to survive.

‘Tell me everything that’s happened since I’ve been gone,’ she demanded excitedly.

‘Everything? Well now,’ Lovernios had an evil twinkle in his eye. ‘Sucellus broke a hammer this morning. Goewin’s child fell in the river yesterday and has caught cold. Fionn failed to...’

He was stopped by a blow from Boudicca which knocked him off balance. He nursed his arm with exaggerated tenderness. ‘Grania used to do that to me. You know what I meant, Lovernios.’

‘First let me reassure you I never once left this clearing during your meditation in the barrow. I didn’t desert you, rather the Druids brought me news as they went about their business and I feel I’ve been kept well informed. I’m telling you this because the trust between us is still a fragile thing and although I’d antagonise you for fun, I’d never seek to have you question my loyalty again.

‘Now, let me tell you about how things have gone at Camulodunum to begin with. All of the tricks and terrors we devised to haunt the Romani veterans have worked a treat. They’re scared out of their wits. The Romani are a superstitious lot, their faith in their pantheon of deities is so weak that curses, fear and state ceremony are all they really have left of their religion. That, madam, is why I have no fear of destroying their Victory statue. Symbols have power only by their associations in peoples minds. For the Romani, their Victory statue has no connection with Andraste. For some of our peoples it will, but together we can reframe their mental meanings and no offence will be caused to the Goddess.’

Boudicca nodded, still not entirely convinced by his logic, but there seemed to be no objection from Andraste Herself, so she let it pass.

‘Maeve’s been an essential asset in all of this, without her the other things we’ve done wouldn’t have made such an impact upon the Romani.’ Boudicca sat up at the mention of her daughter. ‘For two nights now, some of the Sisters have led her to the shores of the estuary. They travel fast by using the Finding routes opened within the forest, and the shores lap against wooded land so they emerge from the forests in an ideal place to perform their Workings. The waters are calm enough for the images which Maeve projects upon their surface to be identified as the pillars and columns of Camulodunum. They work from just before dawn so that, as the sun rises, the images are quite strong and well defined. The dawn is red, as we calculated it would be, so the images appear as if tinged in blood. Fortunately, the moon has just passed its last quarter and its waning to new has produced a powerful ebb tide. During the stillness, before sunrise, we heaped earth and shaped logs so, as the tide retreats, it appears to a casual eye that bodies of men and women are revealed.’

Boudicca widened her eyes, revealing how impressed she was.

‘Of course, on close inspection, they’re shown to be no such thing, but the fisher folk who creep down at dawn are Trinovantes; their screaming and panic brings the Romani running to come see and also prevents the Romani from too near a look. The images fade soon after dawn as Maeve is brought back to camp quite exhausted...’

Boudicca frowned at that last comment. ‘She’s fine? As you promised?’

‘She sleeps a lot, but I don’t sense any distress. Of course, as her mother you may pick up nuances in her that I’ve missed. You’ve the last word in this matter, but we plan only one more day’s Work, and she doesn’t seem to be at all coerced by our scheming.

‘Anyway, on the second day, that is this morning, more Romani came to see the awful marvel which confirms their greatest fears. When the images faded, the Romani townsfolk departed and returned to their Colonia but the Trinovantes continued to stir up their fear. They gossip constantly about the dreadful images, so hopefully tomorrow morning the whole town should be there to see what we make! The Romani are so rigid with fear now that they’ve no will left to build defences. When suggestions were made, apparently for a moat and rampart, our Trinovantes conspirators persuaded them it was totally unnecessary by using fine words and exemplary behaviour.’