The Promise Ring (Dear Jann Series 1)

Chapter 5: Blessed

For a while, I thought my weekend was a total disaster. From Markus' visit to Drake’s, I didn’t want to get any visitors anymore. It was tiring trying to explain yourself to closed-minded people. Especially people who pretend to care when they only want to know the gossip. Why did I need to explain myself anyway, I wasn’t the one who ended my relationship with Markus. I just hate how people see me when it comes to relationships like this.

I know I am not that “good girl” when it comes to relationships. I have been doing stuff that I am not proud of. These “adventures” of mine probably gave other people the impression that I am not the type of girl who will never be serious in a relationship. 

But everything changed when I met Markus. He became my everything and I know deep inside me that I am not the girl who I used to be. I know for sure that I am serious about our relationship because he was the only person who completed my day with just a smile. And now, I lost him, probably forever without knowing why and what I did to make him change his mind.

The impression people made to me probably was the same reason why people think that I will be hurting Marvin soon. I find it so unfair. People change and yet the impression stays as is. Ah humans, very complex being on this earth. I just wanted that weekend to end and I can’t wait to go back to school in the hope to forget everything again.

Just when I thought that everything was a mess, Marvin came that night and invited me to go to our usual rendezvous. He begged for me to go with him. I was trying to avoid going out but in the end, I agreed. 

Our rendezvous was an 11-storey building overlooking the mountains and our Alma Mater. We love to hang out on the balcony of the 11th floor of the building. It was a commonplace for everyone so anyone can go and do sightseeing or just unwind. 

The night was young but the sky was filled with too many stars. I even think that the stars are a bit closer that night. Just like what we did the previous nights that we stayed there, we did star constellations and made images out of the stars that we see. Connect the dots, only this time, it is connecting the stars. Doing that with him gave me some peaceful feeling from what had happened to me that weekend. 

I still haven't mentioned anything to him about Markus and Drake's visit. I don't want him to know because I feel like there will be more trouble if I do. I just enjoyed every moment that I was with him.

"Do you see the three stars there?" he asked pointing to the three aligned stars just close to the moon.

"Yes. I think that's the Orion's Belt if I remember my Astronomy well." I chuckled.

I've always loved our lessons in Astronomy. There was something about the celestial bodies that always enticed my interest.

"I don't care whose belt it is. I want you to look at it every night. Especially when we are not together." he said while holding my hand.

"Why is that?" I asked innocently.

He looked at me and kissed my hand. He touched my cheeks as if he was trying to remember every vein on my face. His touch was making my heart so warm. It was so calming.

"I want those stars to remind you that I am here always. Whenever we miss each other, let's just check on those stars then our hearts will be one again," he said lovingly while looking at me intently. 

I was speechless with what he said. It was the most beautiful thing that I heard that weekend. I felt warmth under my eyes and those tears are ready to roll whenever I allow it. Those were tears of joy, I am sure of it. My heart was overflowing with emotions. I am not sure which emotion it was. He searched for my eyes and he gave me the sweetest smile he can give me before kissing me on my lips.

I closed my eyes when he started caressing my lips with his. It was so soft and I could feel his hot breath on mine. He placed his hand on my cheeks and kissed me more. This time it was deeper and he invaded inside my mouth. I can feel his tongue moving within like searching and asking for me to respond. I did and I can feel how much it made him ask for more. He kissed me deeper and our tongues were rolling in each other's mouth. I felt his other hand crossed around my waist and pressed me closer to him. My hands went up and encircled his neck. He held me tighter like he never wanted to let me go. His kisses were making me tipsy and all I wanted was just to kiss him back. We both parted trying to grasp some air. Realizing what was happening, we both chuckled.

"I love you," he whispered.

His words suddenly sent some electric bolts to me. I didn't know what to tell him and didn't want to hurt him. I just smiled and gave him a small kiss on the lips and rested my head on his chest. I heard him sighed putting his head on top of mine. We just stood there like that for a few moments. I was just listening to his heartbeat and I can feel him kissing my hair now and then. I composed myself and looked at him.

"Marvin, sorry if I can't tell you those words yet. I know you know why but after tonight, I promise you that I will do everything I can to make our relationship work." I told him with certainty in my voice.

He smiled while touching my lips. It was like he was teasing me to kiss him some more. I wanted to but I want him to know what I truly felt. I don't want to disappoint him.

"I am willing to wait until you tell me you love me too," he said and kissed me again.

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December came and the air was filled with festivities. It was the time of the year that most people spend time with their loved ones, shopping, and decorating the house and Christmas trees. It was like everything was joyous for this celebration. Every home was filled with Christmas decor and everyone was so excited talking about plans for the celebration. I am just one of those excited people to come home for the holidays. 

Aside from being with my family again, this year is extra special. Because I will be celebrating the holidays with Marvin. It was the first time that I am celebrating Christmas with my boyfriend. I've had boyfriends before but for some reason, I never really got to spend the holidays with them. So this year was different because I know and I am sure that I will be celebrating it with Marvin.

During the Christmas holidays, we have this tradition of attending the mass which was held at midnight on December 24th. It was called "Simbang Gabi" or Midnight Mass. I always made sure that I attend this mass. It was more like a blessing mass before the celebration. But this Simbang Gabi was more special today because I was with Marvin. 

“You look so excited for today’s mass. I wonder why?” asked my mom.

I didn’t notice she was looking at me while I was preparing for the mass. I just smiled at her and I know that she already knows the reason behind my excitement. Mom can always read what is on my head so there is no point in denying anything to her.

“Ma, Marvin will pick me up today for the mass. And we are planning to go to our friends’ houses after the midnight meal.” I told her. 

“Okay. Just make sure you guys go home first after the mass and spend the first hour with your families,” she said.

I know there were more in those words that she said. You just have to read between the lines. Mom is not fond of me going out late but I guess she felt relief knowing that I will be with Marvin that night.

Marvin picked me up from home and we went to the mass together with our friends.  Since the mass was going to be attended by hundreds if not thousands of devotees in our community, the parish church celebrated the mass in a covered basketball court to accommodate everyone. 

As usual, the mass was crowded with devotees and I can see families, lovers, and friends everywhere excited to listen to the words of God. We arrived 10 minutes before the start of the mass. As expected, the crowd was overwhelming. We found our space at the back of the court. We can still see the officiating priest and the altar from our place so it was fine. All chairs were occupied so we needed to stand the whole time.

"Are you okay?" he asked smiling.

I nodded and smiled back at him. He held my hand and touched my cheeks. He was about to kiss me when the mass started. He sighed which made me chuckle. I saw the disappointment on his face but managed to smile when he heard me chuckled. He pouted his lips showing that he was not happy about it which made me chuckle more. He gave me a stern look and squeezed my hand. Stern yet loving look as we joined the crowd in the opening of the mass.

Throughout the mass, Marvin was either holding my hands or having his arms around me. People beside us were looking our way, but he doesn't seem to care. I saw that he was proud of what he was doing. I can see how proud he was having me near him. I wanted to freeze the moment and be there longer. I don't remember how many times we looked at each other throughout the mass. Our eyes are talking and sending sweet messages on their own. It sent a tingling feeling to my tummy as well as to my heart. I think I am finally falling for him. I honestly don’t remember what the homily was because my mind was so occupied with him and all the things that we are planning. 

"Are you okay? Are you tired standing?" he asked me again with concern in his eyes.

"I am fine. Don't worry." I told him and held his face.

He then moved around me and hugged me from behind. It felt so good being wrapped around his arms especially that the wind started blowing. It was a bit chilly and having him hug me like that gave some warmth. It felt so warm and I can feel my heart pounding so loud it was almost deafening to me. 

During the giving of peace, we nodded and said "Peace be with you" with the people around us. Finally, when I got the chance to look at him and to tell him "Peace be with you", he kissed me instead.  

"I love you," he said.

I was stunned by what I heard. It was not the first time he told me those words and yet it was so sincere. I can see it in his eyes and it’s written all over his face. My heart was warm so I kissed him back and told him the words he always wanted to hear from me since we started our relationship.

"I love you too, babe," I said.

His face brightened with delight. I can see how surprised and happy he was when he heard what I said. He kissed me again and hugged me tighter like he never wants to let go. I guess those were the most sincere “I love you” that I ever told him because I know that time that I am falling for him. Maybe my simple "I love you" will change everything including my feelings towards him.

It was a realization that I was so lucky to be with the man who loved me on a Christmas eve. It was so magical and it looks like everything around us was just shining. I just wanted to freeze that moment and have him tell me that he loves me over and over. 

I love how we are under the sky with our 3 stars shining so bright on us as we exchange words of love and kisses. I am sure it was a perfect scene for a movie. Our movie. It was the perfect scene in our story. Wrapped around his arms feeling his body warmth, a sincere kiss and I love you, under the sky with our 3 stars looking over us, and a mass blessing our relationship. What more can I ask for? It was like the blessing I always wanted to hear from Markus. But this one is better, our relationship was blessed from above.

"I love you, Babe. I will never get tired of telling you those,” he said and he kissed me once more before the mass ended.

We are one of the happiest couples at that time. He walked me home and he went home to spend some time with our families. We agreed to meet an hour after so we could go to our friends' houses to celebrate the holiday. 

He picked me up again and we went from our friends’ house one after the other. The last stop was in their building. There was an empty lot outside their building where we all settled and celebrated the rest of the night. We made a bonfire and sat around it while sharing stories and gossip. It was a great feeling just being beside him. I simply wanted to stay there cuddled in his arms. I didn’t want to end the night but as a gentleman, as he is, he walked me home before sunrise. Again, we kissed and closed the night with a promise to love each other forever. Before I closed my eyes to sleep, I made a promise to love him. Maybe not the way I loved Markus, but I will love him the best way I know.