The Promise Ring (Dear Jann Series 1)

Chapter 12: Clash of Rings

I was still mesmerized with what happened on my post Valentine's Day with Marvin. I was in my boarding house, lying on my bed and staring at the ring on my finger. It looked so lovely. It looked like it had always belonged there. I never imagined that one day I will be wearing this ring. My bed was near a window, so the moonlight was getting in my room. It illuminated my ring and looked magnificent. "My ring", it sounds right.

Marvin didn't propose to marry him, but I felt like it was almost the same. I was shocked when he started talking. Why did I stop him? I know I love him, but I wasn’t prepared for any lifetime commitment. It was merely not the right time. Are you sure that is the reason behind it? Sought the other side of my head. What did he dub it, a promise ring? Why does it sound so familiar?

After that "proposing-like" scenario we had, Marvin escorted me home. Before we could leave the place, I thought I saw Markus among other people there in the balcony. I dismissed the idea. What will he do there anyway? I don't think he was even there in Philex.

*****

"Hey, Goodluck guys. Do your best and forget about the rest." shouted our dance instructor as he wished us luck for the competition.

It was the most awaited dance competition of the group, the hip-hop dance competition. I invited Marvin to come and watch me compete and he promised to come. However, he was nowhere in sight. I was hoping he would really make it, but I did not get any message from him saying that he was in the area. Disappointment covered me, but I still did my best.

The lights went on, my body danced with the rhythm of the music. I abandoned everything as I danced my heart out. There was no crowd, just me. It was always a blissful feeling when I dance. I guess I was more in love with my dancing than any other hobby that I had. I was smiling as the music came to its end. I hear people cheering and shouting our department’s name. We did it. We won first place in the competition.

After all the cheering and celebration, I pulled myself away from the crowd to check whether Marvin made it. Unfortunately, he didn’t. Most likely, he had a very good reason as to why he wasn't able to come. “Widen your understanding, Jann. He also has his priorities.” I tried to explain to myself.

I dragged myself out of the celebration and prepared my things to go home to Philex that night. I was exhausted from the competition and wanted some long rest. I didn't mention to Marvin that I was going home because I expected him to come to the competition. Maybe I can see him the following day and inquire what he had been up to.

*****

I woke up with the sun already high. My parents knew I was so tired from the competition yesterday, so they didn't bother to wake me up early. It was Saturday anyway and not much to do other than laundry. I was just there lying on my bed as I felt the sore of my body. I guess all the practices I've done made some toll on me. I definitely felt its effect after all the adrenalin that I had during the competition. I didn't want to do anything other than lying down all day. Even my plan of seeing Marvin was halted. I just felt lazy. My parents were kind enough not to bother me.

However, I had a visitor before the day ended. It was Markus. I was a bit surprised when I saw him because he was so excited to see me. He was all smiles when he saw me, and he even hugged and gave me a kiss on the cheeks. I stepped back and looked at him.

"What's going on? What are you doing?" I started to get annoyed with how happy he looked.

"Happy Anniversary!" he blurted out.

What the hell was going on? I looked at him more shocked as he said that with wide open arms. Was he expecting me to run into his arms? When he saw that I wasn't moving, he came closer and hugged me tightly. I pushed him back not liking the idea of where this will go. Oh no, not again. 

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked him.

He looked hurt when I pushed him back and questioned what he was doing. He took a deep breath and beamed a smile again to me as if he did not hear any single word that I said.

"It's our anniversary, and I wanted to surprise you." he exclaimed smiling.

My mouth dropped open. I can't believe he is doing this again to me. Not this time, that I have learned that we can never be together. Not when things between Marvin and me are a lot better. Why does he always have to show up and try to mess things around? I looked at him in disbelief and shook my head.

"You look so pathetic, Markus. What is wrong with you? We're over." I reminded him.

He shook his head as if trying to erase the words that I said. He can be so stubborn and was starting to piss me off. He smiled and took my hand. Oh, damn those smiles, why does it always make me weak and erase my hatred? You never learned, Jann. You never learned.

"Can we go to the mini store? I just wanted to see the sky from there." he invited me instead.

I knew he saw how pissed I was already, but he chose to ignore it. I didn't want to stay at the house too because he was making so much scene. I can see my parents looking from their bedroom door. It made me so conscious of what was happening. My family knew all about our relationship and there was no reason keeping it from them. But I didn't want them to see us argue. I didn't want them to see me cry again because of him. I didn’t want them to start hating him again.

I looked at him and shook my head. I agreed anyway, and we went to the mini store where we used to hang out. He held my hand going there. I let him because I knew he would just argue with me if I take it away. Why does his touch send some tingling sensation to my body? I hate to admit, but I miss the feeling.

He smiled at me lovingly when we reached the place. He still hasn't let go of my hand. He was caressing it as he was looking up at the sky. The sky was clear, and the stars were shining bright. It was a full moon. I would say it was a “lover's moon”, just like the one in the song. Why am I getting romantic again? This isn’t right. I should be thinking of Marvin instead of his hand on my hand. Say who? My “selves” were arguing in my head.

"I miss you, Jann." he started. 

He said it with so much emotion, my “selves” stopped arguing and we looked at him. The moonlight was shining on his face. Those hair that I loved to stroke and let it run through my fingers. Those eyes that never failed to make me smile when I look at it. I always felt so beautiful when I looked into his eyes. His nose that I love to pinch even if he hates it a lot. And those lips, God I love those lips. I never get tired of kissing those lips. I wanted so much to run my hand across his face and caress it. I missed him so much. 

“Knock, knock, what is wrong with you? Have you forgotten what he had done to you? And just to remind you, you are with Marvin. You should stop him right now. You should’ve not agreed to see him in the first place. You will just cry again before the night ends!” Shouted my “other self.”

"I just want you to know how much I missed you. I know how bad things looked, but I did try my best to change, Hon. I want you back. I need you back." he added, pleading.

"Why are you doing this, Markus?" I looked down to avoid his eyes.

"I love you, and I am willing to do everything for you." he said as he pressed my hand against his chest.

I could feel his heartbeat as my hand rested on his chest. I needed to close my eyes and take a deep breath. I shook my head. I was in disbelief about what I was hearing. I was so happy to hear it but at the same time I was hurting so bad. How can he be so selfish? How could he not see all the pain that I went through when he dumped me? He chose his best friend instead of me. My anger was starting to emerge.

"Stop it, Markus." I told him as I took my hand from him.

"I want us back, Jann. I need you back. I realized how wrong I was for letting you go, and I am so sorry for hurting you so bad." he said.

Those were the words I longed to hear a long time ago. But why only now? I looked at him and my eyes started watering. I just can't do this again. He looked at me and beamed. He took out a small box and opened it in front of me.

"Happy Anniversary, Hon. Jann, will you m..." he held my hand and stopped talking.

My tears flowed when he stopped talking. I saw he was staring at the ring at my finger. He looked at me so hurt. There were tears in his eyes.

"D-Did he..." he couldn't finish what he wanted to say. 

I looked at him as my tears were blurring my vision. I saw him make a nod then looked up in the sky. I knew he was just trying to stop the tears from flowing out from his eyes. He looked so hurt.

"You were late, Markus. A little too late." I said in between my tears.

"When? When did he..."

"Do you really need to know?"

"I should have seen this."

"Why, Markus? Why only now? Why did it take you almost forever to realize whatever you realized? Why now when everything between Marvin and me is working just fine? And what's with the ring? Damn it!" I said angrily.

He looked at me and smiled. His eyes were still glistening with the tear that was building up. How could he keep his cool on times like this?

"Because I realized how empty my life is when you are gone." he said.

I cried some more. I let go his hand and went back to our house. He didn't follow me. I was so angry inside. Why am I so angry? I didn't know anymore why I was angry. I wanted so much to hear those words from him and now that he said it, why does it hurt so bad? Was it because of Marvin? The pain was unbearable. Why did he realize it, a little too late?

*****

I was just lying on my bed but wasn't really sleeping. My mind keeps going back to my conversation with Markus. Damn, I still love him so much. With all the things he said earlier, I was supposed to be happy and yet a tear corresponds with every word he said. It felt like small daggers stabbing me again. Then I saw the ring he gave me.

No wonder it felt so wrong when Marvin gave me the ring. The rings were exactly the same. I wonder if they bought it at the same time. But why will Marvin give the same ring, when he doesn't even know the significance of it to me? Did Markus tell him about it? Tears came rushing down my face as I recalled that day. I was still waiting for that same "one day," he said to me.

***** Flashback ****

Markus and I were walking along Session Road when we decided to stop by Porta Vaga Mall. We were window shopping when we passed by a jewelry store. Of all the jewelry there, that particular ring, caught my attention the most. It wasn't fancy and wasn't really that expensive. However, I love how the stars and the moon were crafted inside the resin part of the ring. The stars and moon were sparkling as the light hit it. The scene was just peaceful like being in the ocean. It reminds me of sunset.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

I looked at him and shook my head. I didn't notice that he was looking at me all the time. He probably saw my expression when I saw the ring. 

"No. It's very pretty but no." I replied.

He took my hand and kissed it. He looked back at the ring and me. He smiled and said the most wonderful things every girl wanted to hear from their lover. He made sure I will always remember it for the rest of our days.

"Hon, one day, I will put a ring on your finger and will claim you as my wife. That day, you will use my family name after your first name." he said and kissed me on the lips.

I've never felt so happy before. All I wanted was that "one day" to come. I will patiently wait for that day that I can finally call myself Mrs. Janniquine Raye Alonzo - Almirol. It was simply perfect. I prayed to own it, "one day."