The Promise Ring (Dear Jann Series 1)

Chapter 15: The Ring's End

After Drake left, I was left wondering about what he prominently mentioned. About Marvin's family. Why is everyone making a fuss about it? Did Marvin's parents mention anything that I should know? If there was, he should have told me about it already. But just like what Drake said, he never did. It made me more curious, so I decided to go to Marvin's place. I instantly want to know what was going on. I eagerly want to know what caused those two longtime friends to argue.

I stood in front of the mirror after I had changed my clothes. I made sure no stand of my hair was out of place.I dubbed some powder on my cheeks and gloss on my lips. Satisfied with what I saw, I smiled gently to my reflection. Then the voices in my head started asking questions.

Are you ready to properly meet the dear parents? Shouldn't you wait for Marvin to cordially invite you to his humble home? You might be intruding when you show up there unannounced. What will they say? I voluntarily closed my eyes to instantly stop the voices within. Somehow, the voices have a point, but I want to know. I needed to know.

I hurriedly placed on my light sweater and went to the door determined to know the truth. When I cautiously opened the door, Markus was there. He was about to knock because his hand was still in mid-air. I was surprised because I wasn't expecting him at all. He smiled radiantly when he instantly saw me. He smiled like yesterday didn't happen. I hate it when he does that. Pretending the bad thing didn't happen at all. I furrowed my brows to convincingly show him I wasn't happy about it.

"What are you doing here?" I promptly asked.

He looked pained with the coldness of my tone but smiled anyway. Did I see it right? He was intentionally hurt?

"Can we talk, please?" he asked instead.

Why does he look hurt? I looked at him and saw he was determined to speak with me. There was no point in carefully avoiding him anyway. One way or another, I will still need confronting him. I might as well do it that time. Was I prepared? Of course you are, said my other "self." You already have a decision, and it's about time to put those into action.

"Okay. Come on in." I said and turned around.

"Not here, Jann. Can we go talk at where this all began?" he politely asked.

I stopped walking and turned to face him. I looked at him genuinely surprised. Why would he desire us to go back there? No, the place possesses a significant place in my heart. I don't want it to be ruined with bad memories.

"No, Markus. I don't want to go there. Let's talk at the mini store instead." I voiced and he nodded approvingly.

He offered his hand, and I had to look at him. He smiled reassuringly and I heaved a sigh. He didn't move until I gave mine. He is so persistent and I cordially hated it. Why does he look so confident in something? Hence, we held each other's hands going to the store. I still wonder why he loves to hold my hand.

When we reached the place, he looked at the ring on my hand but it didn't seem to bother him. Shouldn't he be mad to see the precious ring again just like the first time he set eyes on it? I naturally wondered and carefully looked at the ring. Damn, it was his unmistakable ring with that flashing "M" on it. Why did I wear the wrong ring? How could I wear the wrong ring? Stupid me. No wonder there was no effect on him.

"Hon-" he started but I cut him off.

"It's Jann." I insisted and he jerked his head.

"Jann, I'm sorry for what happened last night. I didn't know he was coming to see you."

"He's my boyfriend. Of course he can come see me anytime." I emphasized on the word "boyfriend" which subtly made him smile again.

"Do you love him?"

"What do you care, Markus?"

"I don't care about him. I care about you." 

"You don't have to. We're over."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?! Weren't you the one who promptly ended everything?" I was starting to get mad.

"Jann, I want you back." he said ignoring my rant which made me more furious.

"You want me back? Huh, I'm not a toy, Markus. You don't throw me away then suddenly change your mind and say you want me. Don't be stupid." I retorted promptly.

"I know I am stupid! I am very, very stupid for letting you go. There is no reasonable excuse for my incredible stupidity and I know how that hurt you so much. Jann, please, just give me another chance to make things right. To set everything the way it was. That's all I am requesting." he said pleading.

"Chance? I wonder how many chances do we need to make things work for us, Markus? If it's even worth a try?"

"I know I messed up big time, Jann. There was no excuse for it. But we can work things out. We've been through a lot and -"

"Stop it, Markus. Don't remind me of what happened in the past. It doesn't change anything now."

"Why? You don't want me to remind you how we started? How things were when we were still starting. How we promised forever for each other? How are we able to  manage to get through every obstacle that came our way?"

"You're too late, Markus. I've made my decision."

He stopped and looked more intently. I saw that he hesitated but asked anyway.

"W-What decision? What are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry, but I - I chose h-him."

His sensuous mouth dropped open with what I announced. I saw how slowly the tears built up under his gentle eyes and how he persistently tried to stop it from coming out. His hand landed on his mouth in disbelief as he looked at me with so much pain in his eyes.

"You didn't mean what you said." he said thoughtfully.

"What do you know about what I feel, Markus?"

"I don't know, and I don't care what you feel for him. What I know is you still love me." he blurted.

I laughed sarcastically as a tear escaped from my eye.

"Do you hear yourself? You sound pathetic."

"I don't care, Jann. I sincerely want you back, please."

I looked at him, and I can see the man I loved so much. The mighty Markus slowly crumbled down. What happened to him? Did I do that to him? I sincerely wanted to take back every mean word I said. But there was something big in me, halting me from holding him. Why am I holding back? Why do I experience so much pain looking at him so hurt?

"I love you, Jann. I regret so much introducing him to you. If only I knew he will be a hindrance to us, I should have never let -"

"Stop it, Markus. You really sound pathetic. Don't blame me or him for what happened to us. If there is someone to blame, it is you. Just you!" I shouted.

I jerked my hand back from him as my tears started flowing down my cheeks. I looked at him and shook my head. It was hurting so bad I could hardly breathe.

"Let's just stop this, Markus. The more we dwell on it, the more we will get hurt. Just, l-let me go like you did b-before. Like you always did." I pleaded earnestly.

"I can't. I love you so much it's killing me knowing you are with him."

"You should have thought about that before you dumped me."

He lowered his head as if in defeat. Or that's what I thought. I saw he clenched his brawny fist then looked at me. The charming smile was gone and promptly replaced with a complex emotion. He somehow looked so different to me.

"Tell me you don't love me anymore. If you do that, then I will let you go." he justly said.

No, Markus. Don't ask me that. I looked at him so much unspeakable pain. How can he ask me that? Of course I still love him. What is stopping you then? I don't know. I guess I was tired loving him and needed a break from all of this.

"I'm tired, Markus. I-I guess I got tired of loving you so much."

"Then tell me you don't love me anymore."

"Don't make it harder for both of us."

"Look at me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me anymore, Jann. Just tell me."

How am I supposed to say it when I still love him so much? I didn't want to tell him, but I need to stick with my decision. I need to breathe again. With that I took off the ring from my hand and placed it on his hand. He looked at the ring and secured it into a fist. He carefully looked at me and up the moonlit sky. He runs his palm on his face trying to hide the tears that escaped his eyes. He took a deep breath and looked at me.

"This." he lifted the ring as he definitely let the tears run down his cheeks.

"This doesn't belong to anybody. Just you."

He threw away the precious ring. It happened so fast, I wasn't able to see where the ring ended. I looked at him genuinely surprised. Why? Was he absolutely letting me go? Why did I feel like my world was crushed when he threw away the ring? I sincerely wanted to see where it was and get it back.

He carefully looked at me and cupped my teary face. He earnestly pressed his forehead to mine. We stayed in that position longer as we both shed same tears. I wished he would kiss me, so everything will end. If he caresses me, I will take back what I said. I want him back too. I need him back. Just kiss me, Markus. But he didn't. Instead, he whispered in my ear.

"Jann, you will come back to me because you still love me. I love you so much. If he - if he hurts you, please, come to me. I will always be here for you. I will wait patiently. Just come back to me. Come back to where your heart belongs." he said tearfully.

He took breath and stepped back. He gave me one loving smile and walked away. I was alone again. Instantly broken and crying. Did I make the right decision? Why does it hurt so bad? No, I will stick with my decision. It was for the best. It was the end. It is our end.

*****

Markus' POV

I cupped her face in my hands and wanted to caress her hoping that it would convert everything. I saw her tears, and I saw her pain because of me. I felt so guilty placing her in this compromising situation. Probably, this is the right thing to do. Let her go and be happy with my best friend. Maybe, if I am not in the picture anymore, then she will finally be content with the person she carefully chose to dearly love.

It was very hard because I genuinely love her so much. But I can see that she was determined with her decision. She made sure I knew it. She chose him instead of me. But there was pain in her eyes as she was informing me. I know she still loves me, but she was holding back. Why was she holding back? Did I hurt her so bad she doesn't believe in me anymore? I am willing to subtly change for her. I want her back. I need her back.

Now, here I am staring thoughtfully at the vast sky. It's so lovely with all the stars shining brilliantly. I was waiting patiently for a wishing star to pass by. Please, just one wishing star. I needed it badly tonight. I will wish for her to come back to me. Yes, I will wish that Jann will take me back again. And if that happens, I promise, I will do everything to make her happy. I will make her the most lovely bride she always dreamed of. I know inside my heart that she will be running back to me soon, just like how I am running back to her always. In the end, we will be together once more. We are meant to be. I will wait for her patiently and silently.

“I will not leave you, Jann. I will be sheltering you always until you come back to me. Come back to where your heart rightfully belongs.”